I Have AIDS

I do NOT have AIDS but..

I Have ALWAYS Included Darkskin Sistas.

*****

I posted the above picture as a social experiment. Anytime that something gets posted to social media that's vague or with little to no context, it becomes open to interpretation. So, if you don't give context along with a post of this magnitude, folks will assume, judge, imply, etc and they have every right to do so.

I succeeded in getting you all here. Also, I enjoy acronyms.

I digress...

So, I'm not mad at what transpired, but if you're under the impression that I have "A.I.D.S." then I'm sorry because I don't and PLEASE understand that this wasn't done as a joke or to mock those who do have HIV. My mother died from complications of HIV and trust me...my angle wasn't to mock or make light of such a serious situation.

I left the post without context and I responded how I responded to many of you because I knew it would be met with skepticism. It's crazy because people still will judge the cover of a book but will not once skim the contents. We live in a time where transparency is welcomed...to an extent. We live in a time where folks make subtle jokes about having or catching STDs/HIV and it's disgusting! It's appalling, to say the least. Nevertheless: SAFE SEX is important. Get tested. Don't be afraid to SHARE your results with your partner. Wear condoms, hell, even wear dental dam, why?

Because safe sex matters!

*class is in session*

There was a time when I wanted my skin to be lighter. I remember getting bullied for being "too dark" and also having a lot of fights because I just couldn't handle those jokes. I heard a bunch of dark skin jokes and it messed me up because I really thought a lot of them were the truth. When you're young, you internalize things totally different than when you're an adult. I mean, now I look back and laugh because for the most part, some of the jokes were funny. As kids, you joke on each other, get mad, argue, maybe you fight, but then you go back to being cool because nothing was ever done with a malicious intent. I had moments where I disliked my teenage years because my homies always had jokes and it was annoying, but more importantly, the ladies weren't even checkin' for me. There were times when even being ashy (having dry skin), was a problem. I would carry lotion in my book bag because I didn't want to my skin to be ashy and for it to lead to jokes, because God forbid I had to whip someone's ass...with rough ass skin. I would literally steal bottles of Aveeno from CVS because I HATED having dry skin! I was always made to believe that being dark skin wasn't accepted. I get in my early 20s and the jokes continue but NOW...the women love my skin!

"Hey chocolate!"

"Damn! You fine for a darkskin dude."

"When you gon let that chocolate melt in my mouth and not in my hands?"

Ok, so maybe not the last one but you get my point- I'm POPPIN' now! Present day and women LOVE my skin! As I got older and gained a greater understanding of what it meant to be a dark skin brotha and began to understand racism, stereotypes, generalizations, and colorism a lot more; (darkskin) women were going through it, as well. We fast forward to now and it's crazy to see how not much has changed. So, not only do women have to deal with racism, harassment and discrimination (sometimes in the workplace), inequality, but because you're darker...you have to deal with colorism, as well.

In a sense, because you're light skin; you're placed on this pedestal and treated and seen as "better" because of the shade of your skin, compared to a individual who is darker than you are- that's colorism.

This notion that "light skin, is the right skin" is fu**in' stupid! So many women grew up to have this complex about their skin and it sucks because for years and years, they were made to feel as though that they weren't enough. They grew up in a household where they were joked on. Went to school and the jokes continued. Turned on TV, listened to music, watched movies and the jokes continued. The jokes might've been funny back then, but could you imagine at the age you're currently at, hearing, "yo, dark skin girls are yada yada blah blah!"? You (hand clap) would (hand clap) be infuriated (hand clap, hand clap)! So many dark skin women are shamed, solely because of their complexion. That little girl grows into a young adult that into a grown woman, is now insecure because she was lead to believe that her complexion wasn't pretty as everyone else's. All of that shows in how she carries herself, in how she loves herself, and how she allows others, to love her as well. This toxic cycle must stop!

From the way these magazines brand and market, to the modeling industry, to selective representation of those of color on TV and in movies, even down to what society glorifies, and even on social media; if you're light skin or even a lighter shade of brown...you're treated fairly better and you more accepted, than those who are darker. It's stupid! What society has been really good at, is creating an image that if you look this "particular" way, than you're "better". I hate it. I hate it, I hate it, I haaaaate it! These magazines, social networking sites, etc, that photoshop pics and talk about "this is beauty" and it's the picture of some ol' light skin ass person, is awful! They will even alter the way a dark skin model looks, to make her "more appealing"; noooooooo, motherf**ka! I hate the fact that we as people discriminate against one another because of the complexion of our skin. I hate how social media tends to pit men and women against each other with dumbass memes and quotes n'sh*t, about how one's (skin) tone is better than the next and that beauty isn't that of a darker complexion. A lot of the discrimination that we face and see on a day to day basis, I'm sure, roots back to slavery and probably before then. While I'm not sure when it began...it needs to need.

When I say "I have always included dark skin sistas": I mean I have never discriminated, rejected, degraded, or downplayed any woman of a darker shade (or any shade for that matter) because of her complexion. When I talk about women that are beautiful, dark skin women have always been included in the topic. It's always been disheartening to hear fellow Black people say how a woman (or man) is ugly because they're dark or too light or short or tall, etc etc. I understand preference, but preference should never be followed by talking down on what you don't particularly like, in a negative way. It's f***ed enough, that we gotta hear/see it from those on the outside but when it's your own people? Man *sigh* smh. I feel like the Black community talks so much about becoming more unified one minute and then the next minute...we're overtime to divide.

Why is that?

So, I completely understand preference and not wanting to date someone because you prefer this or that. Or maybe you prefer Beyonce over Lupita, but the thing that happens when we discuss these preferences, often times, we do so and the "lesser" becomes the subject of ridicule. I've heard so many actors, models, entertainers, athletes, rappers, etc talk down on (dark skin) women and it's tacky because they see no problem in using their platform in spreading negativity and ignorance. You have (some Black) men who do not find dark skin sistas attractive and that's ok: what you like is what you like. What isn't ok is what gets said about those same group of women, BY Black men. If we are supposed to be leaders as Black men within the Black community and in the household and the representation of what a man/king looks like, as the head of the Black family unit and we're supposed to protect and uplift and love Black women: why has it become so cool, to publicly degrade/mock women of a darker complexion? As a black man, how do you feel so comfortable reducing a woman to being less than the next, because she doesn't fit within your standards of what you find to be beautiful!? How is it that her complexion makes her less attractive?

Then you have some black women who are even worse! You can go on social media right now and see meme after meme, post after post and see countless arguments and debates,  about how "ugly dark skin women are" amongst (black) women! F*** if white people are doing it: WHY is this still happening among Black women who are considered to be queens and goddesses?!

"Well, I see your point, but it isn't that deep!"

Yes it is! Black women are so critical about how others perceive them and what gets said about them, but yet they continue to do the work of oppressing each other with "shade", pettiness, and jokes, all for likes and laughs! You don't even realize that you've been conditioned to FEEL AND THINK, that you're better because of your complexion, but it has also become routine for you to continuously make fun of the next black woman, because her melanin doesn't look like yours? GTFOH!

Beauty isn't limited to one shade!

We have to stop saying sh** like...

It makes me sick to my stomach because there's a dumbass out there, that believes that shi* like this is cool to say! No no no no no no no no no *Blac Youngsta voice*. First and motherfu**in foremost- it's a backhanded compliment. It's like if someone said, "you're articulate, for a black person" or "you look good, for a fat girl.". Once again, I get preference, but the moment you "compliment" a woman but attach it with some stupid s*** like, "for a Black girl/woman" you just make yourself sound/look stupid! She's not flattered. She's not gonna feel like she's beautiful! The very moment she becomes defensive to what you've said, is the very moment you try to play it off as a joke or label her sensitive because she feels the way she does. Nah, b...we ain't got time for that!

We have to stop reposting dumbass memes via social media because it does nothing more than make us as black folks, look as if we're nothing more than the butt of a joke! (Black men and women) write sh** off as jokes, but the moment someone is offended by said joke then they're "too sensitive"! I'm not supposed to feel offended because the joke comes at my expense? It's with that same mindset that (some) white people look at US and scratch their heads like, "it's ok to when they do it but not us?"

"YES!"

NO!

WE'RE ONLY MAKING IT ACCEPTABLE! Plus it's hypocritical! For the same reason why (some) women don't want to date shorter men- for whatever reasons they have- is along the same lines as to why (some) men, are reluctant to date women because of their weight! A white man calls a dark skin woman a some derogatory name and we within the Black community will riot! A black man says the same thing, with the same tone, and we laugh and (some of us) get mad and then we go right back to laughing! The sh*t is bananas! Malcom X talked about how the black woman is the most disrespected and the most unprotected and you wanna know what? He was right! How can we unify as one, if we continue to destroy what we're building? You don't find dark skin women to be attractive...move the hell on! 

We must begin to reteach, re program, and mentally reshape, how we behave and how speak to and about one another!

When there are talks about beauty, dark skin women are excluded. There are constant jokes and insults about how less attractive dark skin women are and many fail to realize how others internalize what gets said. I think about Lil' Kim- who wasn't (isnt) dark skin btw- and how she got to a point in her life, where she started altering her skin. I'm from Brooklyn (New York) and I grew up on listening to her music and she was iconic. She was (is) beautiful. Recently she had this to say,

"All my life men have told me I wasn’t pretty enough—even the men I was dating…It’s always been men putting me down just like my dad. To this day when someone says I’m cute, I can’t see it. I don’t see it no matter what anybody says. I have low self-esteem and I always have."

How many women can readily identify with that? PLENTY! The whole light skin vs. dark skin debate within the Black community is not only stupid, but it's cancerous and problematic. How can we continue to advance if we continue to put each other down? You have little dark skin girls who will be teased and bullied and 9/10 it will come from another little boy and or girl that looks just like her! Parents, grandparents, siblings, uncles, aunts, etc are guilty of this behavior as well! So many adults reading this have pitted the dark skin girls in the family against the light skin ones or the light brown ones and have made those little chocolate babies feel less adequate! You continue to feed into these negative stereotypes- which not only create a complex among these little girls who grow to become grown women- but it damages their self esteem! I don't care if you're in your 20s, 30s, 40s, and so on and so forth: you have been made to feel less than what you truly are, based on your appearance! Yes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder but we're arguing about who's better...WHEN EVERYONE ELSE SEES US AS BLACK!

So yes, I have always included dark skin sistas in topics that involve beauty and I will continue to do so! There will always be someone who finds the moon to be more attractive than the sun and vice versa. There will always be someone who finds a dark skin woman to be less beautiful than a woman who is light brown or light skin and vice versa. The problem isn't about preference. The problem comes with the spreading of ignorance and calling it a "preference". Beauty will also be in the eye of the beholder, but do you use your lips spread ignorance?

To all the dark skin sistas, just know I love and appreciate you, dearly and sincerely.

*class dismissed*

@renaissance_brotha

I Know You Got Work...

#SINGLE | Shit I'm Not Gettin Laid Either

You be lookin sexy

Water drippin from your head

I know you got work

But I rather work you instead

Your melanin's perfection

You stroke me gently while we kiss

Yea, you got work

But you don't wanna miss this

I need them kisses now

I ain't saving shit for later

Don't worry about work, babe

I really wanna taste ya

You get on your knees

And wrap the head, with your tongue

I know you gotta go

But you should stay & have some fun

Never do you gag

Or care about the water in your eyes

Yea, you gotta go in

But I wanna go in, between them thighs

Turn around, look at me

Slide that dick in

You'll only be a few minutes late...

Why you trippin?

Arch that back

Throw it back

Do it fast, babe

I wanna fuck you till this hot water don't last, babe

You be lookin sexy

Water runnin down your shoulders

Come over after work

I got some other things I wanna show ya...

Commitment, Soulda Brought You Home

For some, transitioning from the single life into the dating world and then into a relationship can be frightening! You go from being able to do what you want, when you want and not having to answer to anyone one minute. Dating and getting to know someone  and slowly but surely, letting your guard down the next. Then you find yourself in a relationship, committed to this ONE person, with the possibility of spending the rest of your life with them!

Commitment *sigh* commitment is one of those words that usually sends a person (typically men) running for dear life! For some, it can be a very scary thing; settling down with one person for the rest of your life? You'd rather take your chances voting for Trump and have him run the country! I get it. No seriously...I get it! A serious, monogamous relationship? That sh*t sounds like an oxymoron! To put your loyalty and trust into a person, after being done wrong before? That sh** is a challenge and for many folks...it's a challenge that not many wanna take on.

*class is in session*

Today's class is a serious one because so many single men and women suffer from commitment anxiety. The fear of taking that next step in the relationship, scares us to the point that we either sabotage it or we take flight. For men, it could be the idea of being with ONE woman...

For women, it could be that the last few dudes she gave her all to, did her so bad...she'd rather let Helen Keller blow dry her hair in the shower! Whatever the reasoning is- it's real- really real! It could be you or your partner, who just might not be ready to make that commitment. If you're rushing into things, you're not allowing time to show you if this person is for you or not- you're a dumbass! Timing is everything and just because you feel ready doesn't necessarily mean that the other person feels the same. Here are some reasons as to why some folks just can't find it in then to commit:

 

My Childhood Wasn't Shit:

Many of us watched The Cosby Show and fell in love with how Cliff loved Clair and how amazing their marriage/friendship was, despite it only being a TV show. Here you had this man, who loved this woman deeply and showed it, but growing up? Bruh...we ain't see that sh**! Daddy wasn't around and mommy had dudes in and out the house, baaaaack to back. Or your father had so many "sisters", your Christmas was always something to look forward to! If your childhood set a bad example as to what a relationship/marriage should look like; commitment to you as an adult now, is a foreign concept. You have some that learned that, ok, I need to be better than my childhood showed me, but then you have many others who saw what was going on and mimicked that behavior once they got older and said f*ck it, ima be a playa for life! That level of commitment anxiety is at the core of who you are and no amount of sex or sharing of passwords can undo what was done. If you're wondering why you have a hard time committing...you may wanna look back on what your childhood showed you growing up.

 

I've Been Hurt, SOOOO Bad:

As a single man; I have a real fear of being hurt again! Not punched in your arm by your big brother kinda hurt; I'm talking getting your heart torn to mother*cking shreds! Many of you reading this have been hurt so bad, to the very core of you; that you gotta ask Young Metro if the person you're seeing can be trusted or not! The pain be that real!

 

Student: Its not that I can't trust or I dont want to trust them; hooooow can I trust them, when I've been done so wrong in my past? I'm not playing victim and I'm not placing all the blame on the other person because I'm partly to blame, as well but there is pain there!. I just find it hard to commit to a person because I have given my all in the past and got taken advantage of.

 

And I emphasize and sympathize  with that because I'm sure many can relate, hell, I can relate and understand! You give your all and you get cheated on and you've been nothing but loyal and faithful to that person? What the... You get into a relationship and you start to seeing signs of your partner not being 100% honest with you and you turn into Usain Bolt! If you're wondering why you have a hard time committing...you may want to address your past issues and get over them instead of running away from them.

I'm Not A Fan Of Being Abused:
Physical abuse is damaging but when a person abuses your mind? It's hard to recondition yourself from months, even years, of being told that you ain't sh** without me and being treated like you're never good enough from a person who claimed to love you. You also have emotional abuse where, once again, your partner makes you feel and treats you sh** and does little to rectify their wrongs and or comfort you, when you're in need. Then you also have the abuse you sustain from dealing with a toxic person; the type of a person who is no good to themselves nor you, so they plague the relationship with their bad energy and vibes. You wanna commit but you're forcing yourself to see past the fact that y'all two just don't vibe. You wanna commit but the person has a bad habit of blowing up on you and calling it their "way of showing love"- nah b. Abuse, on any level, has helped to instill fear in a person, thus, making it hard for them to commit. If you're wondering why you have a hard time committing...look at the types of abuse you've dealt with, to help better understand.

Fear Being Of Taking Advantage Of:
You have some people whose intentions aren't honorable and that's the problem. Some people aren't looking for a relationship...they're looking for help. Some people aren't looking for a partner to grow and build with...they're looking for someone to help them, temporarily. When I say help I mean ways they can HELP themselves and themselves, ONLY!

• I love you...let's move in together.
• I love you, but let me borrow some money because I spent all my money on a new outfit, these shoes, and I went out to get some drinks with my friends.
• I love you...but I think we would be better as friends because I'm not ready to settle down just yet. (after 3 years of being together).

If you've experienced any one of those or anything else along those lines, then that says a lot about why you can't get with the idea of commitment. Nowadays it's like you give someone your heart and they want: the key, your heart, your soul, your great grandmother's Mac n' cheese recipe, and your social security number! If you're wondering why you have a hard time committing...maybe it's the fact that you're not looking forward to being taken advantage of.

Why You Wanna Change Me:
It takes years for us to establish who we are as individuals. Through life's experiences and lessons we learn from dealing with people, we tend to form our own identity and then take that into a relationship. So by the time we get into one and we say and or do something that our partner may not necessarily like...it turns us off. You want me to change, who I am, just because you lack understanding or it makes you feel insecure or yada yada yada? See ya! The moment you feel like you can't be your true self, is the moment you begin to shut down and look for a way out. I don't want to have to ever mold myself to be something or someone I'm not- period! You don't want that person to get close to you because they're already showing you signs of why you shouldn't let your guard down!

***Notice I said signs and not SIGN because a or even a couple (2) things isn't a reason to take flight***

On top of that, you got your friends constantly telling you how much you've changed since you've been in this relationship. Sometimes we get into a relationship and our friends will clown us so much on how this person has us acting this way or that way- we endh e relationship. You know how many relationships have ended due to friends who've felt some kinda way? Plenty...and plenty more will end, as the years go on. You may have a hard time committing because you find it hard to find that balance of self and being in a relationship.

More 'Me' Than 'You':
Some people will get into a relationship and become so dependent on their partner that it becomes unhealthy. You tend to neglect your friends, often times expect them to spend more time with you, than their own friends, and you even talk less "me" time. When you sit and try to justify it- yeah it makes sense because that's your partner, but once you really rationalize it...that's a lot of time to be spending WITH your partner! One of the reasons people have a hard time committing to a person who doesn't have a life, outside of them, is the pressure they put on them to spend large chucks of time together. I gotta work and or go to school, time with my kids, and then I gotta spend the rest of my time with you? What about me tho!? I don't wanna spend 90% of my time with you; I NEED some alone time and I WANT some time to chill with my friends- plain and simple. I, myself, have been in love with a woman so deeply that I did neglect my friends and it scared her away because all I wanted to do was spend all my time with her. Men, typically don't want to spend every damn breath under a woman because to us, that reads as her being clingy. Committing to someone who doesn't commit to anything or even themselves, outside of the relationship...spooky. If you're wondering why you're having a hard time committing...look at the time you're spending with your partner vs. the time you spend outside of them.

If you relate to any of what I said today, then I would strongly encourage you to work on yourself before you get into a relationship. So much gets said about wasting each other's time and when we knowingly have a fear of committing to one person and one person only...that's the biggest waste of a persons time! As a man- I don't want my time fu***** wasted! If that means I become a best selling author 5 years from now and I still find myself single- so be it! So many people are afraid of getting into a relationship or even marrying someone because they have so many unresolved issues, they've yet to address with their partner and themselves. If you find yourself in a 3 year relationship with a man and marriage convos keep gettin danced around- it might be time for you to put your foot down or get to steppin! If you're dating a woman and she's still entertaining her ex but down plays it to "just a friendship" that she's not willing to let go...you might wanna put your foot down or get to steppin! Yes, the fear of committing to the wrong person is real! Yes, wasting your time with a person who gives you the run around is annoying! Yes, I will beat that ass if...the point I'm tryna make is that we have to do better- we have to (hand clap) do (hand clap) better (hand clap, hand clap)! Give me a good enough reason to commit to you! I nee confidence. I need to be able to trust you. I need to be able to talk through all of our problems and don't rely on sex to make s*** right! You've been hurt, I've been hurt, but let's take more steps towards taking down those bricks and stop ignoring signs because we don't wanna be alone. At what age do you get rid of the excuses as to why you're still f****** single? At what age do you work on letting go of the hurt and taking steps to a better you? At what age...do you stop allowing what has happened, to you, to keep you from finding love?

@renaissance_brotha_

So I Have This Friend...whose been cheated on

All emails/text/DMs/calls are 100% confidental. Names, dates, times, and places have been changed to protect the innocent.

Viewer discretion is advised.

"Aye bruh. My nigga I just wanna say I fucks wit ya page n I would respect it if u kept it g wit me bruh. I got a shawty man n she hold a nigga DOWN fr fr! I trap ... Ima keep it 💯 she don't care she just want a nigga to be good. I kno u give out advice to girls but I need help homie - bitch cheated on me bruh. I Neva fucked another chick just got head 1 time n I told her dat like a real nigga n she seem cool ya dig. But I found out she been fuckib other dudes n real shit it hurt. I take her on trips, send flowers to her school n all that shit u be talkin bout but idk y she did a nigga dirty man. Way I do? I kno I can be stand off ish at times but peep I talks wit her. She got the password to my jack n all dat smh I'm hurt b. U the only nigga I cud think of to help. Why she cheat on a nigga?? I read ya shit fr fr u b droppin law on niggas n niggas be SLEEP! U can tell u been hurt no homo my nigga but help me out. Idk if u help dudes out but write one of them blogs man fr fr hold real niggas down becuz real niggas fuck n respect u even if they dnt like ya shit. I been wit shawty for yrs b n to fuck other niggas??? I'm steamed bruh. N don't let these IG haters fuck wit u bruh! U not big off this shit but u will b I know it. God got u. Let me know if u can help, I do read ya blogs u funny nigga like Kevin hart wit the pen ass nigga. Let me kno bruh."

*****
I remember being out with some co workers at the Taco Bell by Union Square Park (Manhattan, New York) on a Friday night in May, when I found out my girl was cheating. She literally walked in with not a care in the world, holding this nig- dude's hand n'shit and she didn't even notice she had literally walked past me. It's crazy because I literally watched as she kissed him and he grabbed her ass- not just a lil bit- her whole, ASS! I wanted to run up and whip his ass and then drag her, but what I do? Text her.

Hey big head you home?
Hey baby! I actually JUST got in not too long ago. I miss you...how was work?

Just got in? When I tell you I never looked so hard at my phone in my life!!! *sigh* I let her walk out with the guy. I figured this had to be karma for the shit I've done in my life because there was no damn way, that THIS shit just happened the way it did! I get back to my spot and guess who ass is in my bed? Yup; laying there like a f****** newborn. I literally wanted to elbow drop her, but what I do? Wake her up. Long story short: she admitted to cheating and part of her reason was because I didn't give her enough attention. I had to hit her with the,

Not enough attention? I remember almost tossing her poodle over her balcony when she said that s***! I cooked, cleaned, took her on dates, supported her when she went back to school, hell, I even wrote 80% of her papers! I thought I was doing everything right and guess what- she still found reason(s) to cheat. I didn't even cheat on her ass and guess what? She still found reason(s) to cheat. Sometimes we're the reason and don't even know it and other times, it really just be the deep rooted insecurities of an individual that will lead them to cheat.

So I Have This Friend...whose been cheated on.

The last So I Have This Friend... was done exactly 11 months ago today and to me that's crazy because it was at one point, where I had a bunch of people hittin me up, asking me to make a blog about their situation. So I Have This Friend... is where someone reaches out to me for my perspective about their current situation and not just offer advice back to them, but also to convey said advice in form a blog. It's rare that a guy ever hits me up and ask for advice but when one does take the time, I'm there because I really do feel we as men should be more open minded to helping other men out in their time of need. It's crazy because I had already planned on doing a piece on women that cheat and his timing was perfect! While every single relationship is different; a woman's reasoning for cheating is different. Allow me to provide you with some reasons as to why I feel that a woman may cheat.

Your Dick Is Corny But You're Not:
Many women will stay in a relationship where they're not being satisfied physically, but are being taken care of in other areas. When ya'll first started having sex and it was bad, it was cool because she chalked it up to: either her having really good p**** and or to the fact that she liked you so much. While the sex was nothing to write home about, she stayed loyal because she saw past your inability to make her cum. She ignored your limp-no motion in the ocean-weak stroking dick ass because you were a good guy and you ate the the p**** decent. A few years later after failed attempts of tryna show you where her g-spot was, different positions, trying different food/drinks, pills, pumps, a failed threesome, and so on and so forth...she decided to cheat. It's wasn't you...well, it was YOU, but not who you were as a person but your penis...or lack thereof. (some) Women will stay down and others will say f**k it- it's time to get some better dick! It may not even be a new guy, it could very well be an ex who she's curved time and time again because at the time she felt like nothing was worth ruining what the both of ya'll had. It's always best to communicate with your partner when it comes to sex because while she may never say anything to you; she could very well be faking it with you and getting dick'd down by someone else.

Tables Turn:
You mentioned the fact that you got head and also how you fessed up to your wrong doings and I salute that! Do I agree with getting head outside of your relationship? *eh* While I have my thoughts on that; it's evident that your lady felt differently, regardless of the fact that you kept it real. Cheating is wrong- period. The price we have to pay for cheating is either:

- your partner leaves
- stays but finds it hard to trust you again
- works though the infidelity
- cheats

In this case, she cheated because you cheated. Now, is that the real reason she cheated? It very well could be but you won't know until it's time for you to know! A man can find out he's been cheated on at 7:32 PM, Friday night and will be balls deep in p**** by 2:13 AM, Saturday morning! Women tend not to operate like that. A woman will take her time, cry, talk it over with friends/family, and if she's put it in her mind that she's gonna move forward and cheat-

"Congratulations, you played yourself!" - The Honorable, DJ Khaled

You're Not The Same Guy She Fell In Love With:
As the relationship continues to progress, you changed. Dating stopped. The romance died out. Sex doesn't haven't that POW like it used to. You don't even tell her she's beautiful anymore. Whatever the case is- you're not the same guy. This could be a mental, physical, emotional, and or a spiritual change on your part and as a man, it's a tough thing to convey to your woman because of how she might take it. It could be a number of reasons as to why you're not the same guy she fell head over heels for, but what I do know is, whatever reasons you changed...she cheated for. Some dudes get too lazy and allow the fact that the woman they HAVE...can't be become the woman they've HAD! If you're not doing your job, I promise you she will find a dude who is willing to do your job and then some!

Emotional Disconnect:
Sometimes cheating isn't strictly a physical thing. Sometimes cheating can be a mental thing and if it is *long whistle*. I had f***ed this chick and ended up telling my girl at the time and we worked through it, but what we couldn't work through was the fact that I had fallen for the girl I had sex with. She didn't care about the 7 mins of sex; she cared about my emotional attachment, with the girl. Years later I had the same thing happen to me and it hurt me deeeeeeeeep, bruh! The idea of your woman sucking another man the same way she sucks you is sickening enough but the idea of another man getting treated like a king? Enough to make you wanna kill her ass! She doesn't even have to have sex with a dude, but if she's devoting her time, energy, and affection to another man- it's game over. The moment you put your woman in a position to be taken by another man (or woman); I don't care if you cry on yo knees and have Tank sing in the background...it's game over. Women mentally cheat first and then physically cheat and once they've committed themselves to doing both- it's game over.

Robotic Man:
The gifts are the same. The sex is the same. The dates are the same. The sex is the same. S*** is as predictable as a as Scooby-Doo Mystery! You don't make your woman feel special and that's why she's at the Four Seaons...drinking some chilled wine...getting her vagina ate with pineapple chucks! She's telling you that she NEEDS MORE and you change for what, a week? Ha! If a woman takes the time to TELL YOU WHAT IS WRONG and you do little to fix it; you kinda, sorta deserve to be cheated on! Women are simple: treat them right and they will treat you better! A predictable ass relationship will make her bored and start to inch her way out. "You wanna go to Olive Garden bae?" - Whatever you wanna do bae. "Can we have sex tonight?" - I'm not in the mood tonight (4th night in a row). (some) Women don't come to you to nag- they come to you because they're getting bored of the f**k s***! Sneak in a movie and have sex! Surprise her with flowers and lunch at her job! Come up with a f*****g scavenger hunt that leads her to your place for a candlelight dinner! I'm not making any excuses for women who cheat but if shawty f**ked and sucked another man the way she does you...you're not gonna slide in @conscious_casey's DM and see what her mind do?

Love Sabotage:
She stayed with you through thick and thin and to be completely honesty, her ass got tired after like 7 months of the bullsh*** but she stayed. She knew a long ass time ago that she wanted to leave you, but sometimes love will keep you in a situation way longer than you attended on staying! She dropped hints- didn't work. Caused arguments, for no damn reason- didn't work. Withheld sex- didn't work. Instead of saying, "hey, this isn't working," like an adult- she cheated. At this point, she's bold with her s***, like- she doesn't give a f***! (Samuel L. Jackson voice) She's all on Instagram making some dude her MCM. She's taking convos late at night in the other room. She's texting another dude while you're sitting right next to her- she's #NoChillCynthia! Listen to me when I tell you this: WOMEN ARE BETTER CHEATERS!!! You think you figured it out on some detective sh**? You ain't Inspector Gadget, bro! She got caught on purpose and now you're left to decide: should you stay or should you go?

The Hilary Clinton Theory:
Hilary Clinton has made herself appealing to not just the women or the white voters but also the Black voters, as well (take that how you want). She's been dancing and speaking slang, why? Because she's hungry for that vote, bihh! You think she wanna be out here in these political streets seen dabbin? Heeeeeelllllllllll no- she's tryna validate her candidacy by appealing to the Black voters! Women who battle with low self esteem and insecurity issues are the same way- they're looking for people (primarily men) to validate their looks and sometimes their worth. She can currently have a boyfriend who loves her like her father but her ex BF Michael done damaged her so damn baaaaaad- bruh! You can love her with all you have...she'll still feel like that's not enough. She's on Instagram being lusty. Snapchat being thirsty. On Facebook fishing for compliments because no matter how much attention you give her...it's not enough. Yes, low self esteem will lead a woman to cheat on you. I had a woman cheat on me because she felt I didn't give her enough attention and I gave her all my time and attention- just wasn't enough. Just like Hilary's doing- many women are appealing to an array of guys, looking for love and accept in all the wrong places.

She's A Hoe, Bro:
Some women just don't give a f*** and will be with you but will being fu**ing her ex and @therealktrends and seriously...not think there's a problem! I don't bash and I don't judge; there are just some women who have a hard time staying faithful to ONE man. I know a lot of men who remain loyal to unfaithful women because they look good and because of their popularity. I know a lot of men who have put rings on women who have slept with their enemies and thought nothing, about it! I know plenty of women who are currently in relationships, but act single! Dudes settle for hoes all the time and try to make them housewives- hahahahahahahahahahaha...HA! You'd be more successful at getting the government to admit that there's a cure for HIV/AIDS!

I've learned that women cheat for reasons that we may or may. It wanna believe. We as men can be of quality material and can still get cheated on. We as men can: cheat, lie, abuse, and so on and so forth and will get mad...once she's decided to move on. If you're treating your partner like sh** and you KNOW you're treating your partner like sh**- how could you be mad? Men won't forgive a woman who has cheated but will threaten to kill everybody, including the family dog, if they're not given one more chance! I firmly believe in second chances but second chances should be YOU proving yourself to be trusted again! You got a lil head, admitted it to her, and she turned around f***ed other dudes- ya'll both wrong! You're wrong for cheating in the first place and she's wrong for cheating back, on you. No one is more wrong than the other in my opinion because if she felt strongly about you cheating...she should've left. I already know you're not gonna be able to forgive because in your mind, all you see is dudes f***ing her the same way you do. If you as a man honestly feel like you can move forward and if she's willing to stop cheating- by all means, work through and progress forward amicably. I personally don't think you should stay and allow her to cheat because what does that say about your integrity? Men and cheat for different reasons and a woman will be quick to forgive and even trust you again- with time. But why is it that we as men aren't as forgiving? Bro, I hope this helps you out and I pray ya'll get through because if you don't...

I hope you can enjoy a nice, cold glass of ice tea with a splash of henny and lemon!

@renaissance_brotha_

Yea, But...You're A Weak Bitch

I often find myself in hot water for conveying my messages the way that I do. Never will I apologize for articulating myself in a manner that makes one uncomfortable, why? Because some sh** just needs to be said. I did an entire piece on the fuckboy epidemic and I had a bunch of people in their feelings. You ever miss the train/bus or maybe a traffic light that would've made you on time for work, by just a few seconds? THAT'S how upset people felt over that piece. *shrugs* Sh** happens. Life happens. In life, sh*t happens for a reason and that piece was written to help women wake up and to also advise men to get their sh** straight. Now, have I succeeded in doing that? Who knows. What I do know that this piece you're about to read...will land me in even more hot water, why? Because some sh**...just needs to be said.

Ladies, please know and understand that I love y'all and what you're about to read isn't meant to degrade, demoralize, belittle, disrespect, or judge you in any way, shape or form. I say that because I know that sometimes hearing the "truth" can be a little hard, but I feel you need to hear this. Your mother/grandmother told you a bunch of bullsh** about men and they struggled to keep your father's/grandfather's ol' rollin stone ass in check. Your best friend tells you all the time to, "f*** love and do you" and she's on your phone crying every other month about a dude, who won't even text her back after having sex with her! You've been doing the same sh*t over and over and been failing because you're a dumbass! You continue to ignore signs that you shouldn't and you're a dumbass for that. You continue to settle with men who don't even deserve you but none of that even matters because you're a dumbass. I'm not here to hug you and tell you that you'll be fine. I'm not here to sugarcoat a, motherf*ckinthing! I'm here to give you the real, from my perspective, whether you like it or not. I'm here to sit yo ass down and help you no longer be...

a weak bitch!

*class is in session*

Many talk about the fuckboy epidemic but fail to mention the weak bitches that enable their behavior. Yup, you read that right; the weak bitches/women/queens/girls/ladies, that enable their behavior. A lot of women are weak and don't even realize it. I don't say that to disrespect you ladies; I say it because there's some truth to it. A lot of you come to class and still don't learn sh**. I can share my perspective on how to first, love yourself and for whatever reason you'll still end up putting Barry's bum ass before self. I get it. No seriously...I get it! You're afraid to change the way you've been thinking because you've been conditioned to think that, any other way of thinking is wrong. You're afraid that, if you put your foot down, and say "nah" to the fuck sh** that you'll forever be lonely. Granny told you to put your foot in your cooking because the way to a man's heart, is through his stomach...you put your foot AND leg and he still ended up at Fiona's table! Ya aunties told you to put a little spit on that di** when you suckin it...you drained his nuts and he still found a chick to drain them, again. Mama told you that if he leaves and comes back, he was always yours...his ass left, came back, left again, fu**** some next chick, came back, showed a little change, left again, manipulated you into believing he was sorry for all the sh** he put you through, left, and came back to only leave again.

"Umm, ok, that doesn't make a woman weak...just means she's in love..."

Ok, so maybe those examples don't necessarily make her weak, but I'm sure the following sure as hell does:

Official While Unofficial:
You're weak because you find joy in taking care of a man that is not yours. When I say, "not yours" I don't mean in the sense of being a side chick...I mean in the sense of a situationship. You fu**, suck, cook for, clean up after, suck and fu** some more, give money to, and every single thing else under the sun for a man who doesn't even claim you! You ask him, "well, what are we?" and he says,





He doesn't give a fu** about you; he gives a fu** about what you can do FOR him! But who cares about a title when your bond is solid as a rock, right? Ha! You're about as delusional as one of them Love & Hip Hop chicks (not you Remy baby). You're not in a committed relationship and you're doing a bunch of girlfriend/wife ish for a dude who isn't YOUR man?! Oh, I forgot, you like community dick! You're asking him all types of questions and he Hotline Bling dances around them. The only thing straight he ever gives you is Henny di**! But who caresssss when you "got a man" who does nothing for you but blows your back out! Who caresssss when you got a man who will let you take off guard pics and post them on the Gram, just as long as you don't show his whole face! Who caresssss if he's not loyal to you or doesn't answer you truthfully. Who caresssss if he's made you look like a complete dumbass countless times! Who, cares, if, he, doesn't, care, just as long as YOU care- that's all that matters, right? Ha! You're weaker than Meek's first response to Drake! He told you that "you're special" and you believed him...so you rewarded him with pussy. He had a long day of not answering your calls/text/snaps/DMs...so you rewarded him with a blow job. You go hard to show him what you bring to the table before he even explains who he is at the door! He treats you better than your last dude, so it must be real- wrong, dumbass! There's no title, no nothing but you're comfortable with being official while unofficial because he gave you a song and dance about how he's not ready for a relationship but was super ready the moment you wanted to ride his face? Ha! You're weaker than crackhead edges! You're weak for a man, who isn't yours boo.

What His Wife/GF Gotta Do Wit Me:
Any and I mean ANY woman who admits and glorifies the fact that she's a side chick is not only weak but a complete and utter dumbass! "It's my life and I do what I want and if being a side chick is what I like...who cares because I don't" was said to me (in not so many words) not too long ago and I didn't know what to say. If you know me, then you KNOW, I usually have something to say about something, but I had no real response but, "if it makes you happy- cool." Nah, not cool. Yes you get dick, dates, trips, gifts, and a bunch of other things but guess what? HIS MAIN CHICK IS GETTIN THE SAME SH*T! You know how stupid you look, bragging about sharing a man?!? "Ok, but so what! HE STILL EATIN MY P**** BITCH! If that's you're man, he wasn't last night (sticks out tongue)." Some of y'all think sh** like that is cool and it isn't in the slightest. He told you he was having problems and needed someone to talk to and BOOM- in comes youi! You're a side chick because there are some things, his wife/GF, just isn't comfortable doing. You're a side chick because him and his wife don't know God together, as a couple. You're putting in all that energy, time, and affection into a man that isn't yours, when you could be doing the same thing for a man that COULD be yours! Spare me the thot quotes. Spare me the social media logic. Spare me the hoeisms. I get it. No seriously...I get it! You feel comfortable in that role because you don't value yourself. You don't love yourself enough. You don't know your worth, yet. You don't understand your worth, yet. You're a weak bitch who is content with a man who will never, ever give you real, unconditional love. You're a weak bitch because you think that you're winning because your special in the eyes of a weak man! *gasp* Yup, his ass is weak and you're weak and together ya'll form a weak ass bond! You think his wife won't check his ass and yo ass if she were to find out? Ha! Bitch, you should open up for Kevin Hart! Let's say that, idk, he leaves her and gets with you: what do you think will happen when ya'll start having problems? Oh that's right...your pussy will remind him that you were there when he needed you most. Ha!

Biggie With The Chances:
You're weak because you give too many damn chances. I'm a firm believer in giving 3 chances:

First one for me
Second one for you
Third one for us

Anything beyond that is excessive and unnecessary. You give a dude chance after chance to f*** you over and he hasn't learned a thing but you don't care because you fear being alone because he's all you know. He comes back to you and promises he will change but it happens for a month or whatever and he's back to his old ways. Change? Sh**, that's like trying to speaking Korean to a Dominican- it just doesn't make sense! Why should HE care when HE knows that you'll take him back if HE cries n'sh**? Men who get chance after chance after chance prey on you weak bitches. These dudes are like white men with rifles hunting deer in the woods and guess whose Bambi's moms? *POW* GOTCHA, bitch! You won't leave him. Even though he's no good and you know you deserve better, you're afraid to start over. You're used to the di** you get on a reg. You're used to his dickhead ways. You're used to the neglect. You're used to the lies. You're used to the cheating. You're used to barely talking about your problems. You're used to the mediocrity and THAT'S a problem! But who cares, right? As long as he doesn't stay away for too long- all is well in your world. You've become quite comfy with being wholeheartedly unhappy but you ain't leaving...no...you're gonna stay with him because anything else would be uncivilized. So what if he's a dick, he's YOUR dick! You will give him all the chances in the world just as long as he promises to treat you like shit right and do good on his promises. Biggie only gave them bitches one more chance...you on the other hand giving Josh's ass twentyleven chances to prove to you that you're weak. His tongue hit that clit and you started crying on the inside and you pushed his head deeper and moaned, "I love you" because at the end of the day...you'll forever love the unhappiness he provides you break-up after break-up.

Man over Self:
Any-f**kin-time you put a man, over yourself, especially one that's clearly treating you like you're sh**- youre weak. You want a man in your life so much that you will continuously allow his ass to dog you out! He knows it. You know it. God knows. Your friends on Facebook know it. Your Instagram followers know it. The waitress at Red Lobster knows it. He got yo ass in check, like a motherf**ka! He fu**s up, ya'll fu**, and you taking his ass to Red Lobster! Who cares if he treats you like sh**, 60% of the time- you got a man! That man will come before your kids...nevermind.

The Kool-Aid Man Theory:
You're weak because you sit at home and complain about men you never interact with. Oh, I get it nooow...you expect a man to burst through your door like the f*ckin Kool-Aid man

Day and night you sit at home and complain on social media how bored you are and how yada yada is this and how blah blah blah is that, but you never do sh** to fix it. Your homegirls go out on dates but you don't. You get invited out but you decline with some bumass excuse and then complain about it later. You watch Instagram couples like @marytooturnt & @gregbeen_a1 turn up on their BaeCation and it makes you feel some type of way. You want that Jay & Bey or that Meek & Nicki or hell, Kanye & Kanye, but guess what? You won't find a man sitting in your damn house night after night, weakened after weekend in your panties and your college t-shirt! As a kid, I deadass drank Kool-Aid and thought the Kool-Aid man would burst through my door, but he never did. I hated drinking it for about two whole days because I felt cheated. Just like me, many of you weak minded ass bitches feel the same; a man will magically burst through your door and make you bae! Well, newsflash: IT (hand clap) WON'T (hand clap) HAPPEN (hand clap, hand clap)! If you center your life around work and or school and or your kids and or church but no time to go out and socialize then how could you complain about being single? My city is filled with dickheads. I don't trust these men. Bitch STFU, you don't trust yourself! You're afraid of commitment! You can wait for God to deliver you a man but his ass won't be delivered in your living room while watching The Walking Dead! You have more excuses than a ni*** going to jail on why you're single and afraid to get up and out and look.

You can give any excuse you want and while it may help you sleep at night, boo boo...it won't help you land a man. You know where you'll find a man? Out-fuckin-side! The mall. The library. Maybe church. A bookstore. A coffee shop. A lounge. Hell, the grocery store! But in order to find a man or have a man find you, you have to go out! But I get it. No seriously...I get it! That takes time and you ain't got time to put in that kinda work. You could slide in someone's DM but because you've been bombarded with dic** picturesin the past, you're not even interested. You could do a dating website but that will make you seem too desperate and desperation is a turn off. You could ask your friend to hook you up with a dude but the dudes, once again, ain't sh** in your city. So where does that leave you? In the house praying the Kool-Aid man  Mr. Right has your address and comes climbing through your window on some romantic sh**. Well, let me know how that goes because if it works for you...make sure he has a sister or an aunt and send her my way.

"I'm not looking for anything serious but if something happens then...":
You're a weak bitch because you continuously tell these men (yourself) that, "you're not looking for anything serious at the moment but if something happens, so be it" and you know like I know...that's a motherf**kin lie! You know what happens when you say that shi*? Nothing serious, happens! You catch feelings and start looking for him to do the same and when it doesn't happen now you're mad. Oh, you thought your pu**y would change his mind huh? Wrong! You already put it out there that you weren't interested in anything serious so how could you feel some kinda way when you don't get something serious? You call him a fuckboy because ya'll f**ked and now he isn't pressed to make you his woman, but you told him you weren't looking for anything serious and then proceed to lick the shaft of his dick. Oh, ok, maybe it didn't happen like that but did you expect that he was gonna take you serious, the moment YOU got serious? Ha! That whole statement is weak and makes you weak because your intentions aren't clear. If you're not ready for a relationship on any level, then why proceed to give your body away? I get it. No seriously...I get it! You want something but you don't know how to tell him that you're afraid of getting hurt again. You're afraid he won't meet your expectations or live up to your standards. You're afraid to tell him that you still need time to heal from the last dude, so you give him that excuse, hoping nothing serious comes about while ya'll just "talk". 8/10 something serious comes about outta not looking or wanting something serious. I don't need statistics from LSU or any other major university to tell me if that's true or not when you can look at all the examples you've been through, dumbass! You go right ahead and keep leaning on that crutch of an excuse and see how miserable you'll be later down the line.

*****

Now, this entire class I've said, "I get it" and truly I don't. I don't see how any woman can allow a man to disrespect her repeatedly and it be ok because she feels that's what love is all about. I put a couple of women through shit but I also realized my actions and made the necessary changes. I try to understand how you can be so immersed in a relationship that you ignore the signs that you should leave and work on yourself until you're ready to date again but you don't. You're a weak bitch for allowing yourself to be treated like sh*t. If you're going through nothing but downs with a man (or woman) at this current moment in your life, but you're afraid to leave because you don't wanna be lonely...you're weak- no debate. Everyone has their breaking point sooner than others but I'm here to say that you have to stop allowing yourself to be treated less than your value! You know why McDonald's started selling breakfast all day? Because other businesses are starting to sell breakfast and you have places like Chick-Fil_A, that's on the come up! You know why men manipulate you weak women? To plant seeds in their mind so they don't get any ideas on leaving their goofy ass! You got a man that dictates your life and you don't even know it. You got a man that has broken you spiritually and you don't even know it. He done, ran off with your heart twice/you say you leavin but, he don't ever change byke. I need you to listen and listen good: leave. You don't have a direction, ya'll lack understanding, the trust sucks amongst ya'll, the communication is piss poor, and the honesty hasn't been there since date 3. In a relationship, you're supposed to go half, you know, like a dutch date and when you transition into marriage, you then become one. If ya'll struggle with direction, understanding, trust, communication, and honesty; your foundation will forever be f***ed up. I don't want you to be weak in any aspects of your life ladies because of NO MAN. Know your worth. You are worthy of love. Mr. Right won't come knocking on your door. Mr. Right isn't the guy you're currently with. God will bless you with a man like he's done with all your blessings but guess what? You gotta meet him half way, beautiful. Get that ass in formation and to the left, to the left his bumass.

*class dismissed*

@Renaissance_Brotha_

Alexis and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Lame Ass, Fuck Boy

I remember back in the day when TLC put out "Scrub" and how POPULAR it was amongst women. Yo, there wasn't a woman alive, who wasn't singing those lyrics off key:

I don't want no scrub: a scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me/hangin out the passenger side, of his best friend's ride, tryna to holla at me 

We fast forward to 2016 and it's quite funny how those lyrics still hold true, to this day. Many terms have been created to describe men, who, for the most part, just...ain't shit. I know reading that may offend some of you dudes out there, so I apologize to you if it does...

Ok...I'm lying because I don't give a fuck about some of you dudes. Some of you dudes really and when I say really, I mean REALLY, need to be eradicated for some of the shit you've been doing and getting away with. I get it. No seriously, I get it. There are women out there who've been naive to your ways and you figure, well, why not capitalize off of their dumbasses! Listen, I completely understand; if you can get away with fucking her, have her catch feelings, and then making her look like the bad guy the moment she wants something more after you've taken her out and a bunch of other shit, but you knew something serious wasn't something you wanted when SHE did - you smart (DJ Khaled voice). I applaud you dudes, why? Because you think that with getting older, it's an accomplishment to increase the number of your sexual partners by manipulating women who don't even know their self worth! You're in your late 20s or early to mid 30s and you feel like "the man" because these chicks are so fucked up mentally, you're gonna get in and get out and fuck them up even more, so the next dude who actually DOES find an interest in them, has a hard time; congratulations, you played yourself (DJ Khaled voice). It's shit like that and a bunch of other shit you're about to read that makes you...

a fuckboy.

*class is in session*

Welcome back to class and I hope the new year has been going great for you thus far. As of lately, I've been asked to write about the fuckboy epidemic and for whatever reason, I've just been against it. What's a fuckboy you ask? Well, to be fair, a fuckboy has many definitions but to me:

a fuckboy is a dude who is callous and corny. He's typically manipulative, no real personality, is usually too pressed for sex, yada yada blah blah.

Now, I don't know why I was so standoffish about the whole thing but one day...

Me: so how are you and Randy doing?

Friend: you mean...fuckboy Randy? He's ok, I guess...

Me: oh, so he's a fuck boy now?

Friend: don't start Anthony, seriously because he was always a fuck boy!

Me: but when I said it, I was hatin on ya'll right? "You just mad because you single and giving out advice but ain't got a GF!" 

Friend: the moment he tried to DM Sandra to come over and chill and then lied about it...he became a fuck boy! I'm so done with dudes like, you have no idea!

Me: but when Alisha told you he was DM'in his dick to different chicks on IG that day in Olive Garden...he wasn't then huh?

Friend: you right. So, is this gonna become a blog for all your lil groupies to read?

Me: nah

Ok, so I lied- sue me! This isn't a blog for the ladies...this is a blog for all you fuckboys out there! There are many of you dudes reading this, who will be offended by what I say and I want you to. I want you to get all the way in your feelings because enough is enough now! You're probably wondering, "how am I, a fuckboy?!"

Well...

Pressed For Sex:

I get it. No seriously...I get it! You see a chick who looks good and the first thing that comes to your mind is, "I wonder if her pussy sounds like when you stir mac n' cheese?" I'd be lying if I said I don't often think the same thing when I see certain women because I truly do, but the difference between having those thoughts vs. being impulsive and acting on them, is what separates men from fuckboys. If you bag a chick and you don't tell her upfront that all you want is sex and/or you simply lie about your intentions when asked- you're a fuckboy. You don't want to take her out, you don't want to been seen with her, you don't care about her day, you don't care about her life, you don't even care that her aunt was just diagnosed with cancer; you, just, wanna, fuck! You switch the topic to sex. Anytime you're with her, you initiate sex. You're home bored, alone, and horny, "Wyd? Send me a pic..." I'm telling you dudes right the fuck now: women, hate, when, you, ask, for, a, nude, pic! Any chance that you can get her to come over and chill or vice versa- WINNING! Actually, you will even lie and fake interest just to fuck! I want you to read that again, hell, even put your finger under each word if you have to just so you can understand just how f***ing pathetic, you truly are.

And P.S. If she likes you'll never have to ask for one.

Private Message Penis:

I like the DM and not because "it goes down" in there but for the fact that the old way of tryna holla at a woman, where you had to have a full ass convo under a pic from 43 weeks ago just to get the number was bloody dreadful! I like it because I can literally, talk to a woman in private, who might look good or whose page might be interesting- that's it. But what some of you guys are doing out here, smh, just downright ridiculous! I get it ok; she looks good and telling her "your beautiful" didn't quite catch her attention so you're looking for a way to talk to her away from the crowd. It's late night and she post a thirst trap of herself, half naked, so you decide you're gonna Spider-Man web sling ya ass into her DM...with ya dick out. Let me ask you this: if your old football coach from high school decided to electric slide his way into your mom's inbox on Facebook and had his wrinkled, ashy ass dick out, talking about, "Hey Gayle" what would you do???

If my moms was still alive and her and my pops weren't together and Coach Johnson did that shit...I would fuck his daughter(s), his niece(s), his sisters, and then whip his old ass!

Why do you feel it is ok to solicit your whole penis into a woman's inbox and then attempt to hold a convo thereafter!?! That shit, ain't even logical, bruh! You know what it's like for her to exit out the convo and then come back to it and she gotta see that dick and you done asked her about her day? Probably fuckin painful! Now, if she's some kinda hoe *shrugs* go for it, who cares, she may actually like that shit, but most women do NOT want your entire dick, in their DM! There's no justifying it unless she asked for it, literally, I mean literally asked like, "send me that dick boo (kissy face emoji)." That goes back to the first point I made about being pressed for sex, like, send that dick to your palm and beat it! Only you thirsty ass fuckboys do shit like that and then wanna get mad when she gets mad because she not tryna entertain you after your failed attempt to approach back fired. Try flexing your personality first and not your dick, dumbass.

"You got a man?  So, what he gotta do with me!":

Everything, motherfucka! I know of some chicks who literally have a BF/husband and will still entertain the next dude and I'm sorry...the following isn't for those type of bitches. There are tons of women on social media who do nothing but post their significant other and somehow, someway, there's some ol noodle head ass dude, who thinks that just because she post a thirst trap or something about a relationship being messed up, that she's referring to her and bae. News flash bruh: it's just a post! And if it did mean her and bae are going through it, it doesn't mean, slide that ass in my DM! Let's take a step away from social media and apply that same logic to meeting a woman out and about; if she tells you, "sorry, but I have a man" I don't care if you think her ass is lying, "sorry I have a man" translates the same, in every language! It makes you a fuckboy if you go a step further to STILL try to holla. That right there shows disrespect and even if she didn't have a man, she already see's what kinda dude you really are on top of that! But I'm tryna figure out when disrespect, on any level, was ever cool... The moment she turns you down, all of a sudden she's ugly and her pussy probably smells like goat sex and a purse full of rotten milk- fuck out her face with ya hurt ass!

*after sex* "but I told you I wasn't lookin for a relationship":

She let you know from jump she wasn't into the games and all the bullshit and you said you felt the same. You lead her to believe that you were fine with getting to know each other and you even took her on some dates, listened to her life story, met the friends, even walked her Yorkie, Bella...even tho that lil shit hated you! You did all of that and then she finally decided to have sex with you. A month or so down the line and now she's asking, "so, what are we?" and what do you say, "I mean, I told you I wasn't looking for a gf, like, I'm not ready for a relationship right now because I'm focused on me but...you cool tho and I like the time we spend together." Anytime one of you dudes decided to SAY some shit like that and then ACT a different way, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out your words and actions don't/didn't mean shit! It makes you a fuckboy because you're wasting her time and yours. You waste her time because more than likely your persistent fake interest tends to beat out the other guy who she probably could've been building with, but she decides to invest all her time and attention into you now. Funny thing about that is...if all you wanted was sex and nothing more, 9/10 you probably could've gotten it a lot quicker if you made that known from jump street. You telling her "you're not looking for a relationship" but agreeing to finger roll your penis in her pussy gives off mixed signals, which is why she's so damn confused on how to feel after ya'll have sex. If a chick told me, "I like your writing but not you...but I heard your head is fire and that dick is bomb...what do you think about being friends with benefits..." and I catch feelings; I mean, one can't help if they catch feelings or not but to act irrational, like we didn't discuss and agree upon something from the beginning...I'd be a fool! If she catches feelings after the two of you have agreed to keep the relationship strictly sexual- that's on her. But if you lead her to believe you wanna be with her but Diddy bop around commitment talk but whip-whip ya penis inside of her the minute she's horny, no questions asked...you're a fuckboy.

MANipulation:

To manipulate a woman outta some pussy is downright pathetic especially one who has every intention of dating with a purpose. A lot of you dudes reading this probably will never be able to meet the standards of some of these women because your mind still operates like you're in undergrad or even still in high school. You make her feel guilty about having high standards because you know deep down inside of that lil fuckboy heart of yours, you won't be able to meet them and/or you simply just can't. She expects you to treat her with respect and not invite her over all the time for movies, takeout, and dick and you treat her like just another chick with a vagina. "I don't even feel like going out but if you wanna come over and cuddle and we can chill...I'm with that." Cuddle? If you don't getcha ass...

Making a woman feel guilty about having high standards is like spoon feeding a Muslim pork fried rice with no vegetables or onions from the Chinese spot; sure, the meat is in question but doing so is malicious and just fucked up all around. Ok, so you don't mindfuck her for pussy, but let's take a second to speak about the things you say and do for chance after chance.

I firmly believe in giving someone 3 chances (like baseball):

1st chance is to see what I might've done wrong

2nd chance is to look at what you did wrong

3rd chance is to see where WE went wrong, together

A lot of you dudes turn into DJ Khaled with the chances 

You fuck up and find some damn way to get back in good with her, just to fuck it up, again? HOW!?! Ladies, listen to me; I don't care if his dick writes Maya Angelou poems on your soul, alright...fuck, giving him, another (hand clap) chance (hand clap, hand clap)! He makes you guilty about shit he should've been doing while ya'll were together, now that you're broken up and you fall for the trap every single time because you believe that his shortcomings is your fault and guess what? They're NOT! That type of shit is stupid because every single time he melts your damn heart with his tears and sorry ass sorrys and you wanna get all soft and allow his ol' fuckboy ass back in, just so he can fuck you over again and again...again and again? Fuck that! All those chances only continue to pit you against yourself and he grave you allow him to dig for you, surely, will be a lonely one.

Physical And Verbal Abuse:

Ima keep this short and simple: if you're reading this and you're a man and you're putting your hands on a woman, you're not a fuckboy...you're a coward. Some of your losers out there will justify your actions with, "I love her, it's just that, sometimes I don't know how to control myself because I love her so much!" That's a poor ass excuses and you're a sorry ass man! Hitting a woman just makes you weak, like, there's no room for debate about it, like, I don't care if she hits you...you walk your bitch ass away instead of striking her. The same dudes who talk that, "I'd be in jail if someone ever did that to my daughter or a woman in my family" are the same ones beating the breaks off of women who are mentally and psychically weak. Let's say you don't hit her...you know verbal abuse has the power to do the same damage, if not worse!? A lot of men are guilty of verbal abuse and I will not sit here and pretend that I haven't been guilty of it once before in the past, but habitually line steppers...y'all need a lit cigarette down your pee hole. Breaking a woman down verbally, does a lot more damage because that's days upon weeks upon months upon years of conditioning, so, when she finally realizes that you aren't the one and move on, now she has to deal with years of abuse. What makes you a fuckboy is how you use her insecurities (flaws) against her, in hopes she doesn't leave you or that she'll forever be damaged. 

"I mean, yea we talk but, nothin serious":

You ask a dude about his relationship status and he says this...more than likely it's something serious. Dudes will have a whole ass gf or wife or family and will try to pop, lock, and drop it in your Instagram DM or Twitter DM or Facebook inbox and will have pictures and all that posted, but the moment you ask him about it, "I mean, we're cool but seriously, it's nothing serious, I promise you." *mmmmmohmygod* Or maybe he is single and you ask him how many girls he's talking to but he never answers you, DIRECTLY. If he doesn't answer you, DIRECTLY, 8/10 he's hiding something/someone. You honestly don't lose any females by telling the truth bro, you actually gain a lot more but some of you dudes don't understand that concept because it's like reciting bible scriptures to these fake ass conscious folks on social media. What makes you a fuckboy about this is; if it's nothing serious...why can't you give a serious answer? Dudes be afraid to lose potential pussy because they fear telling the truth, like...just keep it 100!

*****

I already know that 90% of my audience is women and that many of you ladies felt a little neglected because I didn't address you that much during this blog. Ladies, he can be the finest motherfucka you've ever seen but I assure you that once you allow him to get away with small shit, the big things will become easier and easier to digest! Dudes continuously feed ya'll half-assed shit and ya'll get so warm and cozy over hearing it that once he's stopped doing shit, you're already content with what you have- wake yo ass, UP! The fuckboy epidemic is partially the fault of weak ass women who allow and enable men to act the way they do and don't fully check their ass, on their bullshit! You got a man right now trying to build with you that you ignore for whatever reason. I don't care if he lives in Virginia and you live in California or y'all both live in Cali, his ass goes out his WAY, to make sure you're good, regardless of distant and you treat him like shit because ol fuckboy Anthony got you sprung over some dick and a good morning text? Biiiiiiiiitch! I can talk to these dudes but they ain't finna listen to me because they're happy with using your kindest for a weakness and f***ing you at the drop of a text- don't (Bryson Tiller voice). When you stop giving these dudes the time of day...when you stop entertaining these dudes...when you stop making excuses for their shortcomings...when you begin to understand your motherfuckin worth...then and only then will you begin to see a difference in the kind of men you attract! Sure, some of these men will do whatever and say whatever to get pussy but guess what baby girl...

It won't be YOUR pussy!

P.S. all you weak bitches/women...the next blog is dedicated to you :)

@renaissance_brotha_