I Have AIDS

I do NOT have AIDS but..

I Have ALWAYS Included Darkskin Sistas.

*****

I posted the above picture as a social experiment. Anytime that something gets posted to social media that's vague or with little to no context, it becomes open to interpretation. So, if you don't give context along with a post of this magnitude, folks will assume, judge, imply, etc and they have every right to do so.

I succeeded in getting you all here. Also, I enjoy acronyms.

I digress...

So, I'm not mad at what transpired, but if you're under the impression that I have "A.I.D.S." then I'm sorry because I don't and PLEASE understand that this wasn't done as a joke or to mock those who do have HIV. My mother died from complications of HIV and trust me...my angle wasn't to mock or make light of such a serious situation.

I left the post without context and I responded how I responded to many of you because I knew it would be met with skepticism. It's crazy because people still will judge the cover of a book but will not once skim the contents. We live in a time where transparency is welcomed...to an extent. We live in a time where folks make subtle jokes about having or catching STDs/HIV and it's disgusting! It's appalling, to say the least. Nevertheless: SAFE SEX is important. Get tested. Don't be afraid to SHARE your results with your partner. Wear condoms, hell, even wear dental dam, why?

Because safe sex matters!

*class is in session*

There was a time when I wanted my skin to be lighter. I remember getting bullied for being "too dark" and also having a lot of fights because I just couldn't handle those jokes. I heard a bunch of dark skin jokes and it messed me up because I really thought a lot of them were the truth. When you're young, you internalize things totally different than when you're an adult. I mean, now I look back and laugh because for the most part, some of the jokes were funny. As kids, you joke on each other, get mad, argue, maybe you fight, but then you go back to being cool because nothing was ever done with a malicious intent. I had moments where I disliked my teenage years because my homies always had jokes and it was annoying, but more importantly, the ladies weren't even checkin' for me. There were times when even being ashy (having dry skin), was a problem. I would carry lotion in my book bag because I didn't want to my skin to be ashy and for it to lead to jokes, because God forbid I had to whip someone's ass...with rough ass skin. I would literally steal bottles of Aveeno from CVS because I HATED having dry skin! I was always made to believe that being dark skin wasn't accepted. I get in my early 20s and the jokes continue but NOW...the women love my skin!

"Hey chocolate!"

"Damn! You fine for a darkskin dude."

"When you gon let that chocolate melt in my mouth and not in my hands?"

Ok, so maybe not the last one but you get my point- I'm POPPIN' now! Present day and women LOVE my skin! As I got older and gained a greater understanding of what it meant to be a dark skin brotha and began to understand racism, stereotypes, generalizations, and colorism a lot more; (darkskin) women were going through it, as well. We fast forward to now and it's crazy to see how not much has changed. So, not only do women have to deal with racism, harassment and discrimination (sometimes in the workplace), inequality, but because you're darker...you have to deal with colorism, as well.

In a sense, because you're light skin; you're placed on this pedestal and treated and seen as "better" because of the shade of your skin, compared to a individual who is darker than you are- that's colorism.

This notion that "light skin, is the right skin" is fu**in' stupid! So many women grew up to have this complex about their skin and it sucks because for years and years, they were made to feel as though that they weren't enough. They grew up in a household where they were joked on. Went to school and the jokes continued. Turned on TV, listened to music, watched movies and the jokes continued. The jokes might've been funny back then, but could you imagine at the age you're currently at, hearing, "yo, dark skin girls are yada yada blah blah!"? You (hand clap) would (hand clap) be infuriated (hand clap, hand clap)! So many dark skin women are shamed, solely because of their complexion. That little girl grows into a young adult that into a grown woman, is now insecure because she was lead to believe that her complexion wasn't pretty as everyone else's. All of that shows in how she carries herself, in how she loves herself, and how she allows others, to love her as well. This toxic cycle must stop!

From the way these magazines brand and market, to the modeling industry, to selective representation of those of color on TV and in movies, even down to what society glorifies, and even on social media; if you're light skin or even a lighter shade of brown...you're treated fairly better and you more accepted, than those who are darker. It's stupid! What society has been really good at, is creating an image that if you look this "particular" way, than you're "better". I hate it. I hate it, I hate it, I haaaaate it! These magazines, social networking sites, etc, that photoshop pics and talk about "this is beauty" and it's the picture of some ol' light skin ass person, is awful! They will even alter the way a dark skin model looks, to make her "more appealing"; noooooooo, motherf**ka! I hate the fact that we as people discriminate against one another because of the complexion of our skin. I hate how social media tends to pit men and women against each other with dumbass memes and quotes n'sh*t, about how one's (skin) tone is better than the next and that beauty isn't that of a darker complexion. A lot of the discrimination that we face and see on a day to day basis, I'm sure, roots back to slavery and probably before then. While I'm not sure when it began...it needs to need.

When I say "I have always included dark skin sistas": I mean I have never discriminated, rejected, degraded, or downplayed any woman of a darker shade (or any shade for that matter) because of her complexion. When I talk about women that are beautiful, dark skin women have always been included in the topic. It's always been disheartening to hear fellow Black people say how a woman (or man) is ugly because they're dark or too light or short or tall, etc etc. I understand preference, but preference should never be followed by talking down on what you don't particularly like, in a negative way. It's f***ed enough, that we gotta hear/see it from those on the outside but when it's your own people? Man *sigh* smh. I feel like the Black community talks so much about becoming more unified one minute and then the next minute...we're overtime to divide.

Why is that?

So, I completely understand preference and not wanting to date someone because you prefer this or that. Or maybe you prefer Beyonce over Lupita, but the thing that happens when we discuss these preferences, often times, we do so and the "lesser" becomes the subject of ridicule. I've heard so many actors, models, entertainers, athletes, rappers, etc talk down on (dark skin) women and it's tacky because they see no problem in using their platform in spreading negativity and ignorance. You have (some Black) men who do not find dark skin sistas attractive and that's ok: what you like is what you like. What isn't ok is what gets said about those same group of women, BY Black men. If we are supposed to be leaders as Black men within the Black community and in the household and the representation of what a man/king looks like, as the head of the Black family unit and we're supposed to protect and uplift and love Black women: why has it become so cool, to publicly degrade/mock women of a darker complexion? As a black man, how do you feel so comfortable reducing a woman to being less than the next, because she doesn't fit within your standards of what you find to be beautiful!? How is it that her complexion makes her less attractive?

Then you have some black women who are even worse! You can go on social media right now and see meme after meme, post after post and see countless arguments and debates,  about how "ugly dark skin women are" amongst (black) women! F*** if white people are doing it: WHY is this still happening among Black women who are considered to be queens and goddesses?!

"Well, I see your point, but it isn't that deep!"

Yes it is! Black women are so critical about how others perceive them and what gets said about them, but yet they continue to do the work of oppressing each other with "shade", pettiness, and jokes, all for likes and laughs! You don't even realize that you've been conditioned to FEEL AND THINK, that you're better because of your complexion, but it has also become routine for you to continuously make fun of the next black woman, because her melanin doesn't look like yours? GTFOH!

Beauty isn't limited to one shade!

We have to stop saying sh** like...

It makes me sick to my stomach because there's a dumbass out there, that believes that shi* like this is cool to say! No no no no no no no no no *Blac Youngsta voice*. First and motherfu**in foremost- it's a backhanded compliment. It's like if someone said, "you're articulate, for a black person" or "you look good, for a fat girl.". Once again, I get preference, but the moment you "compliment" a woman but attach it with some stupid s*** like, "for a Black girl/woman" you just make yourself sound/look stupid! She's not flattered. She's not gonna feel like she's beautiful! The very moment she becomes defensive to what you've said, is the very moment you try to play it off as a joke or label her sensitive because she feels the way she does. Nah, b...we ain't got time for that!

We have to stop reposting dumbass memes via social media because it does nothing more than make us as black folks, look as if we're nothing more than the butt of a joke! (Black men and women) write sh** off as jokes, but the moment someone is offended by said joke then they're "too sensitive"! I'm not supposed to feel offended because the joke comes at my expense? It's with that same mindset that (some) white people look at US and scratch their heads like, "it's ok to when they do it but not us?"

"YES!"

NO!

WE'RE ONLY MAKING IT ACCEPTABLE! Plus it's hypocritical! For the same reason why (some) women don't want to date shorter men- for whatever reasons they have- is along the same lines as to why (some) men, are reluctant to date women because of their weight! A white man calls a dark skin woman a some derogatory name and we within the Black community will riot! A black man says the same thing, with the same tone, and we laugh and (some of us) get mad and then we go right back to laughing! The sh*t is bananas! Malcom X talked about how the black woman is the most disrespected and the most unprotected and you wanna know what? He was right! How can we unify as one, if we continue to destroy what we're building? You don't find dark skin women to be attractive...move the hell on! 

We must begin to reteach, re program, and mentally reshape, how we behave and how speak to and about one another!

When there are talks about beauty, dark skin women are excluded. There are constant jokes and insults about how less attractive dark skin women are and many fail to realize how others internalize what gets said. I think about Lil' Kim- who wasn't (isnt) dark skin btw- and how she got to a point in her life, where she started altering her skin. I'm from Brooklyn (New York) and I grew up on listening to her music and she was iconic. She was (is) beautiful. Recently she had this to say,

"All my life men have told me I wasn’t pretty enough—even the men I was dating…It’s always been men putting me down just like my dad. To this day when someone says I’m cute, I can’t see it. I don’t see it no matter what anybody says. I have low self-esteem and I always have."

How many women can readily identify with that? PLENTY! The whole light skin vs. dark skin debate within the Black community is not only stupid, but it's cancerous and problematic. How can we continue to advance if we continue to put each other down? You have little dark skin girls who will be teased and bullied and 9/10 it will come from another little boy and or girl that looks just like her! Parents, grandparents, siblings, uncles, aunts, etc are guilty of this behavior as well! So many adults reading this have pitted the dark skin girls in the family against the light skin ones or the light brown ones and have made those little chocolate babies feel less adequate! You continue to feed into these negative stereotypes- which not only create a complex among these little girls who grow to become grown women- but it damages their self esteem! I don't care if you're in your 20s, 30s, 40s, and so on and so forth: you have been made to feel less than what you truly are, based on your appearance! Yes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder but we're arguing about who's better...WHEN EVERYONE ELSE SEES US AS BLACK!

So yes, I have always included dark skin sistas in topics that involve beauty and I will continue to do so! There will always be someone who finds the moon to be more attractive than the sun and vice versa. There will always be someone who finds a dark skin woman to be less beautiful than a woman who is light brown or light skin and vice versa. The problem isn't about preference. The problem comes with the spreading of ignorance and calling it a "preference". Beauty will also be in the eye of the beholder, but do you use your lips spread ignorance?

To all the dark skin sistas, just know I love and appreciate you, dearly and sincerely.

*class dismissed*

@renaissance_brotha

Moan, Stretch, Cum, Let It Go

The language and content of this entire piece is raw and uncut and if you are sensitive, I highly suggest you do not read,

like, at all...

deadass.

*****

You ever just look at somebody and be like, DAMN...I wonder what you fuck like!? For me, it happens often. There are just some women who just look like, well...they look like they can take a good dick! Not to take away from the fact that they're probably amazing in other areas of their lives but yea, some just look like they can take a good dick...

for about an hour or 2.

Now, don't get all in your feelings and come at me with that, "omg, you're a sexist pig...a womanizer...misogynist!" jargon because the moment a picture some appealing ass dude gets posted somewhere, with a dick print or with his shirt off, (some of) you ladies get your panties in a knot and start confessing all the nasty s*** you would do to him! But I ain't here to judge you, just like I hope you ain't here to judge me but if you are, who cares.

I digress

I'm not gonna lie to you...I love sex. I love a great mental connection and all but I really enjoy, bending a woman over eating the entire soul and every single middle school memory, from her vagina. Or maybe even just a nice and simple choke n' stroke- who knows. Point of the matter is: I love sex and I love doing different positions. Positions that'll have the body shaking and yearning for more. Positions that'll make it feel as if there's an earthquake happening in the pelvic region. Positions...that'll have you laid out across the bed like a damn starfish. Now today's class is dedicated to some positions, that I like and I hope some of you will like as well. Maybe you've tried them, maybe you haven't but if you haven't, I suggest you do!

*class is in session*

Legs On Shoulders:

There's something sexy about a woman's legs resting on my shoulders, I don't know what it is, but it just does something to me. Maybe because I like legs...who knows. Ladies, lay on your back and put either one of your legs on his shoulders or both, it's up to you. By doing this, your vagina will become tighter and will allow him to hit that G-G-G-spot better. If you want, you can even place a pillow underneath your lower back to give you an added lift, choice is yours. Let him start off slow and then pick up the pace. As he begins to go faster, have him lean in while holding your leg(s) or you can hold'em yourself. As he continues to go faster, he can ease up and hold your leg and push it forward (only if you're flexible). When that leg is pushed slightly forward and he long stroking you deeeeep, bihh, ain't no, "ba-ba-bae stop," because in our head, you saying stop but all we thinking is:

The reason this position is great...he can hit your spot and if you enjoy cummin together, you can do so. Sh**, you can also get that good ol' choke n' stroke done too...not the kinda choke like when you eating a dry ass biscuit, the kind where you can barely hear yourself moaning but you can feel him all up in you.

P**** Pon Di Face:

Always check with the dude beforehand because if you go climbing him like Spider-Man does buildings and you say, "well, Renaissance Brotha SAID it was ok..." and he come looking for me on some crazy mess...your dude, will be outta commission for a bit, so, yea, ask first. You can do this either facing him or in the reverse cowgirl position (I suggest doing both ways to be honest). Don't be aggressive starting off either, let the anticipation build up. If you're facing him: straddle his face and have him stick out his tongue and just dip...and bring it back up...dip...and bring it back up...and dip. Fellas, allow her to get comfortable and then you wrap your arms around her thighs. Ladies, grip his head and just sit there and let him do his thing. Fellas, suck on her lips but also allow your tongue to go in and out at the same time. Now if you do it in the reverse, I suggest getting on your tippy toes ladies and just ride his face. Bounce up and down! Wine your waist, grind on his face, I mean...we men love that sh**! The reason this position is great...it secretly gives men the power to dictate the orgasm. I'm a firm believer in talking sh** during sex and when you have a mouth full a pu***, it may be hard but you will have your moments where you can say things like,

"you like that sh**..."

"you like the way I suck that clit..."

"feed me that pu***..."

"cum in my mouth...

Because when you talking that sh** and you eating it right...it will bring about a very pleasurable orgasm altogether. Also, play with her nipples, lick and rub on the clit while you're eating, smack her ass even...keep it sexy.

That's Swahili For Doggy-style:

Doggy-style might be one of the top rated positions when it comes to sex. It's pleasurable to both parties and it's also an ego booster. A guy thrusting a chick from the back, all hard and fast or a woman throwing it back while looking back...it just does something to one's ego within the moment. I love it when her back is arched and...I'm deep in it. I love it when her face is down and her ass is up...and I'm deep in it. Her back is arched, I got that left leg up, just stroking away...sh** is better than the way they described heaven! Fellas, fellas, felllaaass...don't get her in this position and start off all fast: take (hand clap) yo (hand clap) time (hand clap, hand clap)! You gotta tease her a little bit. Slide it in nice and gentle and pull it out slow; that sh** will drive her crazy! As soon as you see her reaching her arm to the back to pull you closer, slap it away on some, "don't touch me or ima fuck your harder!" WOMEN LOVE THAT SHIT! Just keep sliding it in and out for a couple of minutes, get it all wet, hell, rub it on her clit even, don't be afraid to take control. After awhile, you start to build up the momentum and you can go as fast/slow as you like. Grip her waist, hold onto her shoulders, you know, basic sh** at first. She start moaning more, grab her arms, pull'em back and you fu** her harder. The reason this position is great...you can get your choke n' stroke on! I'm not telling you to Ike Turner choke her, just: get a nice little grip around her neck and stroke her! Slap her ass while you're doing it! Another reason why this position is great...I'm almost 94% sure this and missionary are the two positions that women get pregnant in the most! Ima be honest with you; if we in missionary and you looking me in the eyes, witcho pretty ass or you throwin it back, biting on that lip and moan "f***"...I'm not pulling out, like, at all. So, you better cut that sh** out or we will be up in Zales, ring shopping and deciding baby names because you will be stuck with me.

Let Her Ride:

Sometimes...I just want to be submissive. I'd be a liar if I said otherwise and frankly...I'm not in the business of lying to you. A woman on top is quite sexy, especially if she knows what she's doing. I know for some it can be awkward with all that eye contact but once you get passed all that, everything else is a go. Ladies, get him him to lay down and relax,

"bae, put your hands behind your head,"

is what you tell him and if he moves say,

"bae don't move or ima f*** you harder!"

GUYS LIKE THAT SHIT! There are times when we want you to be all cute and whatnot but then there are other times when we want you to ride us like a Kentucky Derby horse. Lean back and hold his knees while you ride him. Place your hands in his chest as you go up and down. Go down slow...come up fast or vice versa. Stay at the top and only come down 3/4 of the way and then go back up; any way you want to ride him is completely up to you. Get on the balls of your toes, grab your own breast and lick your nipples, sh**, be sexy! Tell his ass to keep his eyes on you while you riding that d***. Fellas, if you don't want to just lie there; grab her by the waist and fuck her back! That upward motion will hit her spot and her legs will get weaker by the min and that's when you tell her,

"turn that ass around...and ride me!"

Reverse cowgirl is perfect for women who love hearing the sound of her ass clappin. It's also great for women who enjoy twerkin on the d***. It's also perfect for dudes who love ass. What's better than looking at a nice ass and watching your penis go in...and out...in...and out and hearing her moan,

"smack my ass daddy! That pu*** feel good, don't it babe!?"

That sh** right there is probably one of the best things, we as men enjoy hearing during sex. More importantly ladies, you're in control! If you wanna hula hoop wine on the D, you can. You wanna bounce that booty like a basketball on the D, you can. You wanna, "cause my best friend finnaaaaa, she finnaaaaa (ohhhh)" twerk on the D, be my guessst! The reason this position is great...it never takes her that long to cum, if you got the right "equipment" and if you know what you're doing. Plus, women who like being in control basically hold the key, to the D! If you get him to moan during sex...you own his damn soul. Anytime he tells you he's about to cum ladies and tries to push you away: ease up a little bit and then quickly tighten the p**** and shift your weight into your hips and keep riding him...his punk ass won't go nowhere.

Edge Of The Bed:

If he pulls you to the edge of the bed, I can almost guarantee you 9 months later you will be in the hospital giving birth. I kid but seriously...you get pulled to the edge of the bed and it's a wrap! There's truly something sexy about it that, I don't even think scientist have managed to figure out just why. I love it! Grab you by the legs and just pull you away and watch the sheets underneath you get all fu**ed up- sexy. Spreading your legs and telling you play with your pu*** for me, I mean, how could one NOT marvel at such a sight! Fellas, get her to the edge of the bed, not to where she's more off than on the bed but to where she's balanced good enough so you can do some work. Don't even slide in her (yet) start by eating her. Tell her hold her legs and literally, just lick on the clit. Don't do NOTHING else- lick on the clit, ONLY!!! Do that for a few minutes and THEN you slide in because at this point, she'll be tired of holding her own legs so, you can hold'em for her. Slide it in, slow...I mean reaaal slow and take it out and slap it on her p****; don't even question me, just do it! Then you wanna slide all the way in and go to work. The great thing about doing all that is...you can put her right on her side (you decide) and hold one leg up, while the other remains flat and just, pump hard and fast. The reason this position is great...she won't have ANY control as to what's going on and if you stroking it good and you can hold that leg up and you can play with the clit

she just might squirt...

which is never a bad thing.

Listen, I know that was a lot to take in right but the beauty of sex is that when it's done right, I mean, not decent, I mean RIGHT...two people are left with smiles on their faces and the world is a better place. I encourage everyone to enjoy sex, safely. Yes, use condoms! If you have a partner, don't be afraid to take their ass to the clinic to get tested. If you have a new partner and you know that you're not a fan of using condoms...TAKE THEIR ASS TO THE CLINIC or make them show their results- I'm deadass when I say that. Too many people are having unprotected sex and catching a bunch of shit and passing it along like Chris Paul to Blake Griffin and in no way shape or form is that sh** cool! Just because a person doesn't LOOK like they have something, means sh**! Use protection and get tested, I promise you, it's really painless and easy and will keep you safe out here. I know sex feels way better without a jimmy hat but fellas, you don't wanna be in some p**** one day and a few weeks later your crotch is itchy and you doing the whip & nae nae to your johnson. Ladies, I know brown skin with the good teeth and full beard looks good but he can have a some sh** that'll have your whole vagina in the toilet swimming like Michael Phelps. I know light skin with the nice eyes or the dark skin dude with dreads got a d*** that'll have you praising Allah but you gotta stop allowing these men to go in raw and leaving your box with a filter on it (take your pick). I know this wasn't your typical ending but it has to be said because if one of you ladies burn me or give me some shit I can't get rid of...I'm getting you fired from your job, evicted, selling your shoes, cutting the front panel of your panties out, tossing your car keys, blowing up your car, leaving dog doodoo in from of your parents house, leaking your nudes to Baller Alert, and flushing your make-up and recording that sh**! Be safe!

Do you have any favorite positions? If so, what are they and why.

@renaissance_brotha_

Love Thy Queen

I'm not perfect. I will never, ever claim to be perfect. I don't claim to know it all; I just claim to know what I know and speak on that. I'm not speaking on, How To Maintain Your Marriage After Year 5 because I've never been married. If you see me write about it, you better believe I have experience with what is being said! I think it's important to say all of this because it allows you, as the reader, to have a very clear understanding of WHY I go so hard, in the manner that I do:

WE NEED TO HAVE MORE HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS THAT TRANSITION INTO RELATIONSHIPS, THAT CONTINUE TO BUILD UPON THAT EXISTING FRIENDSHIP! Period!

I digress

I've been in countless relationships where I've fuc*** up. Yes, I am man enough to admit that without hesitation: I've fu**** up in every single one of my relationships! I'm not saying I'm the reason we've ended...I'm just admitting to you, as the reader, that Renaissance Brotha (not Man) has done some shit in his past relationships, that he...I, am not happy/proud about. Now, with that being said I can also admit that, there have been tons of things I have done right! I mean, no one stays with someone for years just because the d*** is that good, I mean, I would hope not but, yea...that wasn't the case because my D ain't s***!

I digress, again

Sometimes, we get caught up in trying to take care of the weeds so much, that we forget to smell and enjoy the roses.

"Renaissance Brotha!"

"Yes, you over there"

"Well, what do you mean by that?"

*class is in session*

Sometimes, we get caught up in trying to take care of the weeds so much, that we forget to smell and enjoy the roses. I'm saying it again because I want you to fully understand what I'm saying and WHY I'm saying it but, we shall touch on that later.

From social networks, the media, your mother, your grandmother, your best friend whose been single since who knows when, to magazine articles, all these different things/persons will advise ladies on how they should treat and care for and love a man. Some of them make valid points but right now, here today, I wanna speak on the opposite: how fellas should treat their queen/woman.

Yes...how we should treat our queen/woman!

This isn't just for the men within the Black community, this is speaking to men of all races, color, creeds, religions, gangs, socioeconomic status, so on and so forth. So pay attention to message and suspend the personal judgement you may have, for the messenger.

Love thy QUEEN

I'm here to tell you that if a woman tells you that words don't mean a thing...then why do they love compliments so damn much!? YES, actions speak louder than words but words play a major part in how we view those actions. Compliment her! Tell her she looks good. Tell her you appreciate her all that she does. Tell her thank you, for the sh*t she does, for YOU! Show her you appreciate her! Ok, I'm not saying do the following every damn week or month or every few months but, try it, at least once (depending on the length of your relationship)

Have her call her out of work and pamper her, the entire, daaay! I'm talking about from morning to night, you plan an entire day dedicated to her and not another soul. Hell, if you even wanna give her the money from the time she missed at work, do it!

I say that because we have to find new ways of maintaining the relationship we have with our partner. You wanna do things that are comfortable with you but also that she'll appreciate as well. A foot rub won't kill ya. A full body massage won't kill ya. Head on the side of the highway won't kill ya...unless the cops spot you guys, then...you know...they might might kill ya. The point of me saying all of this, is to love her in a way that works best for Y-O-U! Be patient with her. Sometimes things won't materialize at a pace of your liking...and that's ok. Just know that: if it's meant to happen, it's meant to happen; there's never a need to rush things within your relationship, especially because it's a never ending building process. Also, don't sit there and throw in her face all the things you do/did for her- she knows what you do/did, she was/is present for it! I had made the mistake of saying, "well you should be happy I cook for you...it's not like any other dude you had did!" And for that, I was deadass wrong. From that I learned; we do things (at least in my opinion) out the kindness of our heart because we love our partners. We have to get back to loving our women, with a pure heart.

Love Thyself, For Your Queen

I know a lot of women that let themselves gooooooo, once they get into a relationship! Like: stop eating good, do whatever with their hair/make-up, say f*** the gym, and all the rest of that sh** but I also know, a lot of dudes who do the same! Some of ya'll don't clean up your place, won't clean out the car, don't get a haircut as often, don't groom "downstairs", dodge the gym, and so on and so forth. Fellas- don't do that. I don't know which OG told you, sh** like that was cool but your lady...she ain't got time for it! Have some pride in how you look!!! We as men, pride ourselves on how our women should look like this or that but never go look in the mirror and hold ourselves to such a high standard. I myself will always admit, that I'm not the tallest, I'm not the funniest, I don't have a bunch of abs, I'm not the smartest and that may be the same for you as well. What works for me is that I know who I am and I will never, ever, ever, everrrrrr let a soul get a chance to tell me anything different! We as men have to hold ourselves to some kinda fu***** standard; it is ok to have standards, fellas. Insecurities and pride are two of the BIGGEST contributing factors, as to why men can't/don't maintain healthy relationships. I don't need statistics from USA Today or some Harvard University scientist to back me up here. If you sit and talk to a man long enough, what you will get is typically the same thing,

"I didn't feel like doing x y z"

"I just couldn't trust her blah blah blah"

"I didn't feel like I was the right man yada yada"

The above examples all speak to who a man is on the inside! Men: deal with them insecurities and put that pride to the side for a better YOU! And don't rebuttal me with that bullsh**, "it's easier said than done" because we are creatures of action- less excuses and more moves!

Feed, Thy Queen

Cook for her. I'm not just saying that because I love to cook, I'm saying that because men like me who DO cook, will offer her a plate of some shit that will have her second guessing why she's even with your ass! I kid, slightly. We as men know LeBron's stats from his rookie year but can't take the time to read a f***ing recipe!? Geeeeeet outta here! 

You might laugh at the above but at least it shows the person tried. I learned to cook because I loved women and because of Dr. Seuss. Green Eggs and Ham is my favorite book (of all time) and I figured, well, if I learn how to cook some creative sh** like that, maybe, just maybe, the ladies will love me! 

Eventually they did. All I'm saying is that, it won't hurt to cook her up a meal. Not every day or every other day but maybe once a week. You don't have to be a damn chef, but cooking her a meal or even helping her, hell, maybe just doing it TOGETHER, shows you at least give a damn! Women (hand clap) love (hand clap) to eat (hand clap, hand clap)! It won't kill you to cook for your queen.

Sex, Thy Queen

(If you're celibate or don't believe in sex before marriage, then skip this one)

I'm not even gonna sugar coat this one or pu***foot: be on point. Women enjoy sex just as much as men, if not, moreeee- not up for a debate and I ain't got the statistics for this one either. You gotta know what you're doing even before you get her in the bed. Sexting works. Send her some sexy ass pictures. A di** pic or some provocative sh** like that aren't only reserved for women. Verbally stimulating her throughout the day works too:

"You know I wanna see you throw that ass back on this d*** in them heels you wore 3 Fridays go, right?!"

"I can't wait to slide my tongue all the way inside of you later...so how's your day?"

You say things like that because mentally, it helps her prepare for what's to come later. Also, don't forget foreplay! Don't just stimulate her mind...stimulate her body, man (Smokey from Friday voice)! Yes, some women just want you to slide inside and do what it do but...some women enjoy the art of seduction. Get some ice cream, some fruit, hell, if you don't wanna do all that, just plant some kisses all over. Start from the neck and work your way down and once you get in between her thighs- eat her. If you're not eating the pu*** in 2015...you're...you're corny. Sex isn't the end all be all but for those who have it and enjoy it, it is important and I will not sit here and tell you otherwise. Go read, "Make It Nasty," ... just cause.

Maintain Le Fire With, Thy Queen

I'm not gonna write a bunch of sh** for this one because there's an entire blog dedicated to this very point on the site that you should go read, if you haven't done so already. Go read, "Maintaining The Romance," AFTER you read this tho. Proceed on.

Converse, With Thy Queen

I saved this one for last because this one is EXTREMELY important- communicate with your queen. I look back on all my relationships and it hurts to know that part of the reasons why we didn't work is because communication sucked elephant d***. I look back on potential partners and it hurts because the communication sucked dolphin d***. I look back on friendships that didn't work or are now estranged and it hurts because the communication sucked whale nuts. We as men have to get to a place where we communicate better. This "fallback" craze is stupid! No one is Charles Xavier from the X-Men, no one is Ms. Cleo, no one is a fu**ing mind reader, so if you aren't expressing how you feel, verbally...how can things get better!? The goal is to work through and...wait for it...get though, motherf***a! The excuse that, men don't communicate well, blah blah is tired and old and ladies I'm telling you to not accept it because if you accept it for 6 months...you'll accept that sh** for 6 years! I've said this before and I will say it again: if you can communicate to her how you want her to suck your d*** then you can communicate to her how you want to be loved and all the things you have an issue with! If she pushes you away...if she turns it around and ignores what you're saying makes it about her...that sh** will continue to happen and she ain't the one for you, bruh. I don't care if she sucks the soul from your d*** and lets you f*** her best friend with the fat ass and natural hair- if her communication skills suck, step away. Communication is so key, it's so crucial, it's so fu**ing necessary! Talk to your lady. Talk with your lady. It's healthy. It won't hurt you to ask how her day was. It won't hurt you to tell her that you've been hurt before. It won't hurt you to say, "hey, I made plans for us to go see x y z and afterwards we're doing a b c...don't make other plans." It won't hurt! I'm not telling you to spill your guts. I'm telling you to....I'm suggesting you learn how to communicate better, not just for yourself but for the betterment of ya'll, as a couple. 

"You really feel like that tho?"

"Yes, yes I do!"

We gotta know when to check our fellow men, for the fu** shit they do. You might call it hatin or blocking but real men call it...wait for it...accounta-fu**in-bility! Now, the way Meek did it to Drake...wasn't cool. Doing s*** like that, behind the scenes, is completely ok. Checking other men needs to happen more because the more the fu** slides...lol...wait for it...the more these women go get women and build happy ass homes with. Not saying that's a bad thing but if @...never mind. Sometimes, we get caught up in trying to take care of the weeds so much, that we forget to smell and enjoy the roses. When you think about the analogy of women being like flowers and men being like weeds...things being to be put into a better perspective. So often, we are told to focus on the weeds (men) that we forget that even after the weeds are taken care of...the flowers (women) get neglected. We gotta stop neglecting the flowers. We have  to learn how to love our women better because now, more than ever, it is important! It is fu**ing vital! We all want better and all that jazz but wanting better will always start with self, before anyone else. I know I said this was for all kinds of men but Black men...BLACK MEN...we gotta do better! I'm not saying this to make my vagina rate go up because I can care less about how women look at me and the ones that wanna hand off the pu*** to me like Russell Wilson to Marshawn Lynch. I'm saying this because I wholeheartedly mean the sh**! Black women are leaving Black men alone because 1) we don't get the basics 2) we don't wanna do the basics 3) we're disrespectful 4) we're womanizers and so on and so forth and it is counterproductive when building a kingdom fit, for a king and queen. If you take in all of what I'm saying, she won't have time for another man. This isn't some blueprint on how to keep your partner from cheating because we should trust our partner enough to believe that they won't cheat but this to help enhance the friendship/relationship we have already in place. If you keep your partner feed mentally, spiritually, sexually, and so on and so forth...you will never have to worry about if your love is enough fellows...her actions will show it- love thy queen!

*class is dismissed*

@Renaissance_Brotha_

Bruh...I Don't WANT, Your Girl

The great thing about being a "relationship consultant" (as I like to call myself because guru sounds...eh) is that I am able to converse with people who have different perspectives and experiences that have lead them down the path they are today. I enjoy the company of people. Conversation flowing, laughs, debating, all that- I enjoy. When I break that down even further, I specifically enjoy the company of women. And not for the contrary assumption of wanting to obtain sex but because when you honestly converse with women...you learn a lot. Women from all walks of life, hit me up seeking advice about their man issues and because of the relationships I've been in and just life experiences in general, I'm able to give my honest feedback on what it is they need advice with. Some take it, others don't. For me, it will never, EVER, be about telling someone what they WANT to hear, but more so, what I feel/think is right with the given information. But, WITH the enjoyment of female company comes...

their men!

BF(s), side dude, ex BF, ex side dude, husband, ex husband, crazy ex husband, fiancé, the dude in the friend zone, the boo, the bae, the dude she's currently f**kin, and so on and so forth.

I knew the very moment I started to blog, that women would be drawn to the idea of a man sharing his thoughts/feelings but never did it cross my mind that men would follow, in the manner they do- these dudes are crazy! Now if I had a dollar for every single time one of these dudes had an issue with me...I’d be able to eat at Chipotle every Friday and Saturday afternoon for the next 2 years! I'll share with you a couple stories, now bare with me, I can't make this stuff up, this is real:

Story #1 – I was cool with this chick on Facebook for some years. We went out for wings a few times, hell, she got drunk one night and I even called her a cab so that she would get home safely because in the summer...anything is liable to happen. Anytime we wrote to each other on FB, we’d joke on one another, flirt, call each other punk or sweetie or homie, you know, nothing too serious. One day, she sends me this long ass inbox message, to let me know she recently started a new relationship and her new BF didn't appreciate the way I would write on her wall, so she asked me to chill on the sweet talk- ok, no problem. Now mind you, it must’ve just become official a FEW days before the message because we were harmlessly flirting not that long ago. When I tell you this guy had her on lock-DOWN and had her unfriend me and all that- bruh! For the 6 months they were together, we talked a couple times and that was only because we had mutual friends and went to the same lounges. After they broke up...here she comes, "boo, I missed you!" *skurttttt* bye bihh!

Story #2 – A good friend of mine got engaged recently. I knew her for YEARS! I'm talking, we cried when they showed the last episode of Boy Meets World together at her house. We fell outta contact but when we linked back up, she introduces me to her fiancé at a party. I showed him mad love, congratulated him, and wished them the best; I’m genuinely happy for them. He seemed receptive, but I would soon learn that he fronted something hard! I got random accounts from our friends concerning this dude using my name in vain. He claimed that I had/have relations with his GF (which I didn’t because I was never attracted to her in that way...her teeth, eh). He claimed that we would end up in the same places because we SET it up that way and not by coincidence. A mutual friend even told me to stop talking to my homegirl because dude would ice-grill me anytime I spoke to her. I didn’t think it was that serious, but I took my people’s advice and chilled, because I damn sure didn't want this dude to run up on me and ask, "...can I get a drop!?" (YouTube if you don't know what I'm referring to).

In my head I'm like, "maybe it's because I'm chocolate...ladies love chocolate!" But then I realized, I'm short! And females ain't really checking for no short dude, no matter how great they may be...

ok I'm lying but women aren't necessarily checking for me and if they are, I damn sure ain't aware!

So I asked my close lady friends on many occasions what kinda impression is it that I give off, from their POV:

"Yo...you flirt a lot and if I was ya girl I would have a problem with that! But then again you ain't out here f***in everything so, it's harmless but I would stab you Ant!"

"I can see why dudes be mad at you honestly because you know what you want and you don't settle. If I were, MY BF, you'd be blocked from every form of getting in contact with me!"

And it's sh** like that I can appreciate because I know I'm a flirt, hell, I take full responsibility for my actions but when I'm in a relationship, I will flirt and nothing more! I'm not that type of dude to want someone's GF/wife...ok, I have a few in mind that if they were single I would pursue, a few of which I'm sure will be reading this, so that last line was a lie, forgive me. With that being said, here are some actually convos/things that have been said to me or about me over the past few yrs by dudes who, well, you be the judge: 

"I don't want you talking to him! That little ass dude with the beard be dry snitchin in them blogs or posts or whatever it is he be doing! He look like Taye Diggs, like seriously! And women love Taye!"

Women tell me that having attractive, successful, single men as platonic friends doesn’t always fly with their man and over the years I've seen why. Some dudes seriously play a good friend role and then once that relationship is on the rocks...he's tryna slide his whole penis in her like she wasn't just crying over ol' dude 2 weeks ago! I cant help it if women think I'm handsome- blame my pops! Men are observant creatures. Men always keep their eyes open for dudes who claim to be cool with their girl because that’s how some men have gotten their current girl to begin with. The BF usually assumes the “friend” has hidden motives, which isn't always the case. Insecurity also plays a role here. A dude who sees that another man, whose friends with his GF, excels or surpasses him in areas he lacks, may feel pressure. He’ll start power trippin, make demands for ya'll to stop seeing each other, or push the envelope to see how much he can eliminate you from his GF's life. I had a dude inbox me on FB one time, "you comment my shawty pic with that "good morning" s*** bro and Imma fuc* you up! You disrespectful!" Haha, light skin dudes.

"Wait, but wasn't you and Keshia talking about his d*** the other day!? Keshia hoe ass always seeing somebody penis so I know there's some truth to it!"

***quick story***

My homegirls walked in on me getting out the shower...and seen my package. Keisha told our friend's BF for whatever reason and lord...that's where the problems began. Now my friend and her man have a whole ass discussion and she tells him "x y z" and that creates an issue that I had to step away from.

I never understood why females tell their BF's irrelevant things for. By telling him stupid sh**, you have now made some regular ol' guy a potential threat. She may have dreamt about you, praised a recent accomplishment, or made some annoying ass comment about you and your popularity with the ladies. Either way, she said something to make him wonder. Don't post, "Ant I love your blogs; keep'em comin!" because he is most definitely gonna feel some kinda way about that and I ain't got the time to sarcastically defend bs. Ladies, don't ever put your guy friends in an awkward situation with you boo thang...it only spells trouble. Don't ever talk about your ex's penis size with your current either- no matter how much he asks about it. If he does ask about it, lie! Yes, I just told you to lie!

Man: "babe, where you at?"

GF: "at Ant house playin Call of Duty, I tol...hello? hello?!?!?"

A lot of females feel the same way when it comes to other women, "I don't f***s wit these b****** because these bit**es are fake!! Why you think most of my friends are male friends!" Many guys can’t understand how women can have a man, and still chill with guys. Some people will argue that a woman’s BF should suffice for all her needs, whether it’s recreational, sexual, intellectual, or spiritual. Me- eh. A man doesn't want to be around his woman 24-damn-7, but that doesn’t mean we want other men (friends or otherwise) to hang with our woman either!

(excluding me because I know you need "you time" and friend time, so yea, do you boo boo)

If anytime you want to go out with your girl, and she replies “oh not today I have training with Mike” or “Me and Sean are doing lunch today bae, I told you that. Reign check?”, this will eventually cause a rift between the two of yall. My homegirl had to call the police because her BF yoked her up because me and a few of our mutual friends sent her flowers on her birthday because it was just a sweet gesture and because her day started off crappy... dude is currently in jail.

"I know you & Wesley Snipes had somethin in the past..."

Many platonic friendships between men and women birth from an attraction from one or both parties. You may have tried to holla and it didn’t work out, so you gladly accept being in the friend zone. You could develop relationships from having friends in common. Ya'll could’ve even messed around once. Either way, prior history of attraction holds the same weight as Rockefeller drug laws and it makes her friend guilty until proven innocent. Women love to use the phrase “I used to like him but he’s my friend now” and act like that’s normal! You know damn well most guys ain't for no chick with a past, but I digress. The friend zone is like the speeding limit: Yea it’s a rule to follow, but most people speed anyway, switch lanes without signaling, and slow down when they see police. My homegirl Maria's husband pressed me because we talked a long time ago:

"I don't care it was 45 yrs or 2 yrs ago! That's my lady now!"

Pushing the envelope on a friendship based on attraction is normal human interaction, but remember that the difference between 65 and 100 mph is 2-5 seconds, so drive safe. 

"Stop callin/textin/emailin him about our problems! He ain't Steve Harvey!"

I can't help it if a female decides to confide in me as a friend and nor can any other man who is a neutral party. Men hate when their GF/wife has a male friend whom which she decides to call upon when things get rocky. They feel like dudes can’t objectively critique situations without some type of plan to eventually try to fu** if sh** goes left!! Dudes also fear that another dude will tell their women when their man is full of sh** and share all the so-called "secrets" only men know. Men also feel like their GF’s shouldn’t converse about their problems with another dude, especially if the man knows him, because it’s inappropriate. Yes, women have female friends who they go to for advice but 8/10 they aren't listening to Cassandra who has been single since Miley Cyrus was on Disney! Men for the most part will recognize that they have these male friends, but men will always keep an eye on the situation just in case. Recently, a dude named James hit me up on Instagram to talk to me about the friendship me and his baby mama has. When I tell you that was the worst 2 hours of my life wasted on this dude and his insecure ass, when in actuality, I TOLD his baby mama to stay and work things out...lawwddd!

At the end of the day, I respect relationships/marriages and I try not to step on toes. I don’t disrespect my female friends or their boyfriends, and I remain mindful of my words and actions, and the perceptions they may carry. It’s tough to take all those precautions and still have dudes claim that I’m no good. I can’t live my life for others, or in fear of what my every move will mean to the next man’s situation. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to fear. Fear leads to insecurity, and insecurity can push your BF/GF right into the hands of another person. I get attacked on a day to day basis about "how can you have all this wisdom if you've never been married?" Or my personal favorite, "how can a single man give advice to those in relationships!?" It always makes me laugh. The moment I allow anyone's opinion of what I do get in the way of who I'm becoming is the day I record a video of me eating a dog's ass with cat food! Fellas...I don't want your lady, if anything, I'm trying to KEEP you with your lady but your insecurities won't allow you to see that. If she means anything to you- fight for her. Let her know how much you care about her! Stop worrying about the next dude when she isn't even paying him no mind! Don't end up like me sharing your personal life all over the internet because pride kept you from something great. You got someone great- you hold on to her.

@renaissance_brotha_  

S.I.N.G.L.E.

Me: being single is cool, like, I don't have to worry abo...
Friend: like what?
Me: cheating, the difference between being loyal and being faithful, ordering extra food because I know 1 in 3 women are greedy and will reach over to your plate and grab some of what you're eating, hair care products..
Friend: really Anthony...hair care products tho
Me: yup, I have a fear of my hair LeBron'ing
Friend: but I mean, do...
Me: don't get me wrong, I love having someone and building and all that but times have changed. the landscape of dating has changed soo much you know
Friend: you're picky...that's what that is
Me: nah b, I have standards, like, I told you this, my d*** has standards!
Friend: or maybe you're a d***, WITH standards
Me: you could be right...

Times, have changed. The way we date/court, have changed. Our perspective on relationships and marriages have changed...and not so much for the better. I guess, when you have "your sh*t together" and you're single, it tends to raise eyebrows especially since nowadays everybody is so guarded against any and every thing that may or may not happen or their "fall back game" is too strong.

For me, I get looked at funny or it's always some melo dramatic ass question-based-statement with a backhanded compliment that follows when I state that I'm single,

"omg, seriously, you're single? why!? you seem like the perfect catch, well, not perfect because you're short but you're handsome, but you get what I'm tryna say."

And because answering sarcastically usually renders THIS, as a response

So, being the gentleman that I am, I usually answer,

"Yup, I'm single, like a dollar bill in a stripper's ass!"

But seriously, who knows why I'm single...maybe I didn't forward enough chain letters, maybe it's because I was anti-veggies as a child...all that matters is that I'm completely open to the idea of building with someone who is ready and willing to do just that...

but are you?

*class is in session*

How many times have we settled for that person who showed the most interest at the time but later regretted the decision because he/she turned out like the last one? A lot of hands should be up right about now! We often ignore the red flags deal breakers, and nonnegotiables because those few months are so, blissful! After the "honeymoon" phase is over, all those things we ignored in the beginning start to annoy us more and more as the relationship begins to take shape. Well, I'm here to tell you that; I ain't wit the sh**, because...

I'd rather be single than be with someone who’s only interested in what I can do for them, instead of what we can do for each other...

Nowadays, people only give a f*** about themselves...ok, maybe that's always been the case, but if you're single, you're either:

A) looking for love
B) not interested (working on you...blah blah blah)
C) guarded because you've been hurt
D) still caught up over your ex
E) entertaining someone until someone better comes along/filling a void

...or maybe none of those apply to you but whatever your situation is: stay the f*** away from me if you're only interested in what I can bring to the table and/or what I already have at the table! It's cool to want somebody because they look good or like someone because they have money/own car/crib but what else interests you? That whole, "a bond is better than a title," bullsh** is aight but what good is forming a bond, if we aren't building into something greater? If we aren't building a friendship foundation that transitions into a relationship- I'm not interested. I'm not saying we have to be the best of friends because we'll develop into besties as the relationships progresses but man, I mean, at least let us be able to have some sort of connection first! Let's build, let's learn from each other/about each, let's form a real connection; f*** the, "we do take great pics together," or "my ex is playing games at the moment so let me entertain you till they get it together," type sh**! F*** do I care about getting into a meaningless ass relationship with you, if you're not about progression? I can give you the sun, moon, stars, and orgasms but, if you're more concerned with dinner dates that you can post on Instagram or trips where you can pop bottles, gifts, and turnin up, well...

I’d rather be single than settle down with someone who I couldn't see myself being faithful to...

On paper, they might sound like a good catch but the moment it's an one on one interaction...the energy...the vibe, just ain't there. Monogamy isn't natural. I feel people say and use that as an excuse to be unfaithful to people that they had no plans on being faithful to. I do feel however, when it comes to relationships:

• communication is key
• sex is a stress reliever
• trust is the foundation
• honesty is the glue

With that being said: if you know you're a person that likes to have sex with this one on Monday, your ex on Tuesday, a random on Thursday, or you're emotionally not over your ex or you're in no position to entertain someone (at the moment)- remain single. Temptation, is, a, motherf***a...I get it, but karma is a completely different motherf***a who you will have to deal with in some damn way, shape, or form! If you have to question yourself about whether or not being faithful is something you can commitment to being- don't put yourself in the situation. I don't wanna hear, "it's easier said than done," because that's nothing more than a phrase you've conditioned yourself into believing! I know the following is dumb but it is also rhetorical but: why would you wanna cheat on someone who you knew from jump, you didn't wanna be with...when you could literally, and I mean LITERALLY, have sex with damn near anybody you wanted to...while single...

I’d rather be single than get into a relationship that doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell, developing into something serious...

I'm not interested in wasting my TIME because it's too valuable. I'm not interested in wasting my ENERGY because I'm quite sure someone else will be more deserving and appreciate it. More importantly, I'm not about wasting my AFFECTION, on someone who shows me they're not even interested because if I fall for you and you do some corny s***...I'm getting you fired from your job and I'm hiring a homeless man to follow you every damn where you go who sings jingles; try me! I don't care how incredibly attractive you are or how solid your sex resume is because that does little for US in the long run! Let me know if you want a friends with benefits type relationship. Let me know if you just want someone who you can talk to and kick it with. Let (hand clap) me (hand clap) know (hand clap, hand clap)! Ice cream sounds good on a hot summer's day right? Well so does a relationship, for the hopeless romantic and for those who don't care sh*t about romance and just want a nut- it sounds like a burden. All I'm saying is: give me a say in the matter and don't lead me on and have me thinking one thing, when it's completely the opposite. At some point, all that fake interest is only gonna get you hurt in the long run (mentally and possibly physically) and I ain't got the time, energy, nor affection for the fake ssh**- that's the real TEA!

I’d rather be single than get serious with someone who lacks qualities like drive, ambition and compassion...

I just can't see myself building with someone who doesn't see more for themselves. At least Martin had a dream, some of y'all only have "get rich quick schemes" or you're waiting on your parents to die, so you can collect that life insurance money or you're waiting around for your dream career to knock at that damn door so you can be like...

...and ain't nobody got time for that biiihhhhh! I need to know that if you lost everything you had right now, do you have it in you to get it all back!? Now, of course if we're together, I'm gonna be there for you, but I wanna know do YOU, have it in you! I want someone who is attractive- I need someone who compliments me...and when I say "compliment, I don't mean someone that tells me I look good in a red cardigan because I know that already. I want someone who knows what it means to hustle- I need someone who has drive to get it by any means. Confidence is great, but ambition speaks from the very depth of who you are! Are you headed in the right direction? Do you have understanding of self...understanding of who I am...what we could be? Do you trust me to be the person I say I am/show you to be, hell, do you trust yourself? Are you willing to communicate your wants, needs, concerns, through all the ups and downs? Are you willing to be honest to not only me but to yourself? Well, if you find those things difficult, then I'm not the one for you.

I rather be single than deal with someone who isn't fully over their ex...

I know and you know that you aren't fully over your ex, I mean,


f**k outta here wit that bs! But seriously tho, if you still have any feelings left for your ex, then you and I can't be. How can you entertain a potential future with me, while you're ex is still very present? You're looking for me to help mend your broken heart but you're allowing this guy over here play battle ship with the pieces? In a way, now that I think about it...if you're fu**ing around with your ex and you fu**ing around with me...I mean, by default, I'm...I'm the side (BBM shocked face)! Now, I can pretend that I won't be hurt if you decided to let him eat your booty like groceries but even Maury knows what time it is...


I can take you to Paris, buy you diamonds, massage you from head to toe every other night, take you to see Nicki Minaj and Meek Mill in concert, I mean, hell, we can even role play and dress up like them and if you want...you can get your friend with the big breast and chubby stomach to dress up as Nicki's ex...ok, nevermind...

I can cook for you, d*** you down on reg, hell, I can even eat your booty like groceries, but if you're still involved with your ex, and I mean even in the slightest fashion...that's a game I won't even win, sh**, won't even place in. How can I have your heart, when ol boy still has the key to it?

Let that marinate...

I would love to wake up next to my queen every single day, for the rest of my life and tell her how her breath smells like police corruption and billy goat sh**. I want love. I want someone to call my own, just like I'm sure many of you want as well but these situationships, textships, and having a fallback game soooo strong isn't healthy...I don't care what you tell me- it ain't healthy! Do you really see yourself waking up to the smell of our cat's sh** coming from the bathroom? Do you really see yourself having brunch, every single Sunday after church by yourself? If you're not ready to commit to be in a relationship, don't waste anyone's time and definitely don't lead someone on because more than likely the end result won't end well. Get yourself together before you even consider having someone come into your life. Also, stop looking at what someone else is offering and make sure you can offer what it is that you're looking for and then some! F*** does it matter if that person can give you loyalty when you can't respect him/her. F*** does it matter if they're gonna be faithful while you're out and about cheating. F*** does it matter if they can see a future with you and you're still in the past, trying to piece together a relationship that went wrong. Remain, single, until, you're, completely, ready, to, invest! I mean,

sh**, I'm not gettin laid either!

Before I forget...

red flags...sh*t that makes your eyebrows raise, but you often times ignore
- example: when you ask a question, he/she usually answers "some" of it and says something like, "it don't mater babe, that was a long time ago..." and that sh*t matters like cops killing unarmed Black men!

dealbreakers...something you tend to bend on, but you know it aint/wont be cool later down the line.
- example: showing up late to dates...constantly.

nonnegotiables...sh** that ain't cool, and should be checked when it happens
- example: smoking...not weed, but cigs.


*class dismissed*

any comments, questions, concerns you may have...leave below or shoot me an email: brotharenaissance@gmail.com

@renaissance_brotha_