Who gives a f*** about commitment! Yup, I said it: who gives a f***, about, com-mit-ment!
Ok I'm joking.
But what ISN'T a joke, is something that's been sweeping the nation (no, not Ebola) for years and probably will continue to do so, for many more years to come...
Friends With Benefits!
*class is in session*
Basically, friends with benefits is an individual that you have sex with...when you're horny in the mood, without the commitment. He/she isn't someone you look at as BF/GF material nor is it a best friend because you don't wanna ruin the friendship, by "screwing" around! You don't do the whole "dating" thing because then there's this sense of, "obligation" that comes along with dealing with that individual outside of having sex. There's no accountability, there's no holding fu**ing hands (only when she's about to orgasm), I mean, none of that is on the table, when you're only using that "table", to have sex on. Your concern isn't about who else that person is f***ing; well, maybe it should be if you and that person are having unprotected sex but I would hope you're practicing safe sex! This, person, is, only, called, upon, for, sex; nothing more, nothing less. Read that one more time and then meet me at the second paragraph.
Things are different these days. Men are different. Women are different. The concept of relationships, friendships, marriage, and everything else are just...different. Being a friend with benefits isn't something that can work because 8/10 someone is bound to catch feelings and someone is more than likely gonna get hurt because 8/10 those feelings aren't reciprocated. A man will tell you,
"I'm not tryna f*** with her bro because I know my d*** and because I know my d***, I know she's gonna catch feelings and I ain't got time for that bro! In and out nah mean."
A woman will tell you,
"I require too much attention to be JUST a friend with benefits because that s*** is just too fake. If I like him and he don't like me or vice versa...I'm not tryna end up on Snapped nor do I wanna be all in my feelings about some d***!"
You might laugh at those above scenarios, but they're true! Think about the movie Friends With Benefits with Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis: where Justin and Mila both agreed to the terms of being "friends with benefits" and how Mila's character begins to develop feelings for Justin as the movie progresses. Yada yada happens and he's like, "nah, no way, f*** outta here, what you mean, we swore on the Bible app that it would only be about the sex, now you're coming at me like this...I don't understand." Well, eventually he found that understanding and realized...she made a better GF than FWB! But in this day-in-age, things are different. Nowadays, [some] men can't handle a woman who can just have sex with them and not get attached. Nowadays, a man's ego can't handle when a woman says, "that was good...*phew*...so what you about to do?" Nowadays, men can't handle...when the roles are reversed.
I will always and forever be about "male empowerment" and respecting the guy code but certain things make my balls itch! When I see men in skinny jeans/leggings or jeggings/tights or any other tight ass clothing- my balls itch. When men call women sluts/bit**es/hoes/whores/thots for having multiple sexual partners but then brag about being a side dude- my balls itch. When dudes manipulate women to the POINT, of no return and f*** them up and send them back into the world for the rest of us to have to deal with- my balls itch! You hear that fellas:
MY (hand clap) BALLS (hand clap) ITCH (hand clap, hand clap).
A lot of you so called real n****/men/boys/bosses/kings: whether Black, Asian, Latino, White, whatever, are real lame! A woman who is in control of her sexuality is a threat to a man, why? Because she understands who she is as a woman and who she is in the face of society. SOME might care what society thinks of her but a REAL woman will be like, "society don't pay my bills so society can eat peanut butter and jelly out my ass!". The moment she agrees to being your f*** buddy you think, "yes, gotcha bit**! I'm bout to have you doing all the sh** a GF would do and all I gotta do is send some text messages here and there give you the D when you in the mood!" The problem lies is when she agrees to it being strictly physical...and doesn't get attached. She'll take the text messages- but she has a bunch of other dudes doing the same sh** you doing. She doesn't need you to keep her warm at night- she got somebody else for that. You wanna start going back on that agreement of it being only about sex- she got other dudes willing to eat her vagina fresh off the toilet without knowing if she wiped or not! You can't control her like you want to and that grinds yo motherf***in gears!!!
All the things y'all agreed upon, she adheres to and that f***s you up because you thought the "ball was in your court" to only find out she's not up for playing a game of one on one. She might like ya pics, but that about it/might suck ya d***, but that about it- and deep down inside it gets to you; I get it. Most men can't handle not being in control because it makes them feel like LESS of a man! She can arrange for y'all to have sex and after the deed is done get on some, "well, it was fun, but I'm outta here (deuces)" type shit and that's something MOST men can't phantom! It's common that you hear of a woman who catches feelings and usually breaks it off with a guy because he doesn't feel the same as her but for a woman to do that sh*t is like Kobe averaging assist like Chris Paul; it's unheard of!
I can sit here and say, "oh, I would never catch feelings yada yada yada," and then get the p**** put on me so damn good that I wouldn't know WHAT to do with myself! What you DON'T want is me outside ya damn place; watching you through the window, waiting till you fall asleep! We as men have to realize that we can't/wont be in control of every situation. Some women just like having sex and that's that! I've learned a long time ago that a woman will be demeaned and degraded because of her want/need for sex and nothing more. I hate double standards! Society tells you as a woman, "be free, be independent, be you...but if you're out here f**king multiple men you're a hoe!". That same society turns around and tells us as men, "f*** all the women you want, hell, if you don't wanna use a condom, that's ok too!". Bull AND shit! Men want these FWB and the moment they can't manipulate and mold them to their liking there's a problem. Y'all blockheaded ass goofballs be f***in it up for all the other guys, because y'all want these ladies to feel bad about the SAME sh** y'all want; sex! Friends with benefits will never be a concept that fully works because no matter what gets said/doesn't get said, no matter what gets done/doesn't get done...someone will catch feelings and be left to play the bad guy! Women are capable of catching feelings and side stepping yours...just depends on the breed of woman. If you can't handle the maturity that comes along with FWB...beat ya di** till you find someone to beat it for you!
Any questions, comments, or maybe you're seeking advice or any concerns or even feedback- hit me up @ brotharenaissance@gmail.com
@renaissance_brotha_
