I remember back in the day when TLC put out "Scrub" and how POPULAR it was amongst women. Yo, there wasn't a woman alive, who wasn't singing those lyrics off key:
I don't want no scrub: a scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me/hangin out the passenger side, of his best friend's ride, tryna to holla at me
We fast forward to 2016 and it's quite funny how those lyrics still hold true, to this day. Many terms have been created to describe men, who, for the most part, just...ain't shit. I know reading that may offend some of you dudes out there, so I apologize to you if it does...
Ok...I'm lying because I don't give a fuck about some of you dudes. Some of you dudes really and when I say really, I mean REALLY, need to be eradicated for some of the shit you've been doing and getting away with. I get it. No seriously, I get it. There are women out there who've been naive to your ways and you figure, well, why not capitalize off of their dumbasses! Listen, I completely understand; if you can get away with fucking her, have her catch feelings, and then making her look like the bad guy the moment she wants something more after you've taken her out and a bunch of other shit, but you knew something serious wasn't something you wanted when SHE did - you smart (DJ Khaled voice). I applaud you dudes, why? Because you think that with getting older, it's an accomplishment to increase the number of your sexual partners by manipulating women who don't even know their self worth! You're in your late 20s or early to mid 30s and you feel like "the man" because these chicks are so fucked up mentally, you're gonna get in and get out and fuck them up even more, so the next dude who actually DOES find an interest in them, has a hard time; congratulations, you played yourself (DJ Khaled voice). It's shit like that and a bunch of other shit you're about to read that makes you...
a fuckboy.
*class is in session*
Welcome back to class and I hope the new year has been going great for you thus far. As of lately, I've been asked to write about the fuckboy epidemic and for whatever reason, I've just been against it. What's a fuckboy you ask? Well, to be fair, a fuckboy has many definitions but to me:
a fuckboy is a dude who is callous and corny. He's typically manipulative, no real personality, is usually too pressed for sex, yada yada blah blah.
Now, I don't know why I was so standoffish about the whole thing but one day...
Me: so how are you and Randy doing?
Friend: you mean...fuckboy Randy? He's ok, I guess...
Me: oh, so he's a fuck boy now?
Friend: don't start Anthony, seriously because he was always a fuck boy!
Me: but when I said it, I was hatin on ya'll right? "You just mad because you single and giving out advice but ain't got a GF!"
Friend: the moment he tried to DM Sandra to come over and chill and then lied about it...he became a fuck boy! I'm so done with dudes like, you have no idea!
Me: but when Alisha told you he was DM'in his dick to different chicks on IG that day in Olive Garden...he wasn't then huh?
Friend: you right. So, is this gonna become a blog for all your lil groupies to read?
Me: nah
Ok, so I lied- sue me! This isn't a blog for the ladies...this is a blog for all you fuckboys out there! There are many of you dudes reading this, who will be offended by what I say and I want you to. I want you to get all the way in your feelings because enough is enough now! You're probably wondering, "how am I, a fuckboy?!"
Well...
Pressed For Sex:
I get it. No seriously...I get it! You see a chick who looks good and the first thing that comes to your mind is, "I wonder if her pussy sounds like when you stir mac n' cheese?" I'd be lying if I said I don't often think the same thing when I see certain women because I truly do, but the difference between having those thoughts vs. being impulsive and acting on them, is what separates men from fuckboys. If you bag a chick and you don't tell her upfront that all you want is sex and/or you simply lie about your intentions when asked- you're a fuckboy. You don't want to take her out, you don't want to been seen with her, you don't care about her day, you don't care about her life, you don't even care that her aunt was just diagnosed with cancer; you, just, wanna, fuck! You switch the topic to sex. Anytime you're with her, you initiate sex. You're home bored, alone, and horny, "Wyd? Send me a pic..." I'm telling you dudes right the fuck now: women, hate, when, you, ask, for, a, nude, pic! Any chance that you can get her to come over and chill or vice versa- WINNING! Actually, you will even lie and fake interest just to fuck! I want you to read that again, hell, even put your finger under each word if you have to just so you can understand just how f***ing pathetic, you truly are.
And P.S. If she likes you'll never have to ask for one.
Private Message Penis:
I like the DM and not because "it goes down" in there but for the fact that the old way of tryna holla at a woman, where you had to have a full ass convo under a pic from 43 weeks ago just to get the number was bloody dreadful! I like it because I can literally, talk to a woman in private, who might look good or whose page might be interesting- that's it. But what some of you guys are doing out here, smh, just downright ridiculous! I get it ok; she looks good and telling her "your beautiful" didn't quite catch her attention so you're looking for a way to talk to her away from the crowd. It's late night and she post a thirst trap of herself, half naked, so you decide you're gonna Spider-Man web sling ya ass into her DM...with ya dick out. Let me ask you this: if your old football coach from high school decided to electric slide his way into your mom's inbox on Facebook and had his wrinkled, ashy ass dick out, talking about, "Hey Gayle" what would you do???
If my moms was still alive and her and my pops weren't together and Coach Johnson did that shit...I would fuck his daughter(s), his niece(s), his sisters, and then whip his old ass!
Why do you feel it is ok to solicit your whole penis into a woman's inbox and then attempt to hold a convo thereafter!?! That shit, ain't even logical, bruh! You know what it's like for her to exit out the convo and then come back to it and she gotta see that dick and you done asked her about her day? Probably fuckin painful! Now, if she's some kinda hoe *shrugs* go for it, who cares, she may actually like that shit, but most women do NOT want your entire dick, in their DM! There's no justifying it unless she asked for it, literally, I mean literally asked like, "send me that dick boo (kissy face emoji)." That goes back to the first point I made about being pressed for sex, like, send that dick to your palm and beat it! Only you thirsty ass fuckboys do shit like that and then wanna get mad when she gets mad because she not tryna entertain you after your failed attempt to approach back fired. Try flexing your personality first and not your dick, dumbass.
"You got a man? So, what he gotta do with me!":
Everything, motherfucka! I know of some chicks who literally have a BF/husband and will still entertain the next dude and I'm sorry...the following isn't for those type of bitches. There are tons of women on social media who do nothing but post their significant other and somehow, someway, there's some ol noodle head ass dude, who thinks that just because she post a thirst trap or something about a relationship being messed up, that she's referring to her and bae. News flash bruh: it's just a post! And if it did mean her and bae are going through it, it doesn't mean, slide that ass in my DM! Let's take a step away from social media and apply that same logic to meeting a woman out and about; if she tells you, "sorry, but I have a man" I don't care if you think her ass is lying, "sorry I have a man" translates the same, in every language! It makes you a fuckboy if you go a step further to STILL try to holla. That right there shows disrespect and even if she didn't have a man, she already see's what kinda dude you really are on top of that! But I'm tryna figure out when disrespect, on any level, was ever cool... The moment she turns you down, all of a sudden she's ugly and her pussy probably smells like goat sex and a purse full of rotten milk- fuck out her face with ya hurt ass!
*after sex* "but I told you I wasn't lookin for a relationship":
She let you know from jump she wasn't into the games and all the bullshit and you said you felt the same. You lead her to believe that you were fine with getting to know each other and you even took her on some dates, listened to her life story, met the friends, even walked her Yorkie, Bella...even tho that lil shit hated you! You did all of that and then she finally decided to have sex with you. A month or so down the line and now she's asking, "so, what are we?" and what do you say, "I mean, I told you I wasn't looking for a gf, like, I'm not ready for a relationship right now because I'm focused on me but...you cool tho and I like the time we spend together." Anytime one of you dudes decided to SAY some shit like that and then ACT a different way, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out your words and actions don't/didn't mean shit! It makes you a fuckboy because you're wasting her time and yours. You waste her time because more than likely your persistent fake interest tends to beat out the other guy who she probably could've been building with, but she decides to invest all her time and attention into you now. Funny thing about that is...if all you wanted was sex and nothing more, 9/10 you probably could've gotten it a lot quicker if you made that known from jump street. You telling her "you're not looking for a relationship" but agreeing to finger roll your penis in her pussy gives off mixed signals, which is why she's so damn confused on how to feel after ya'll have sex. If a chick told me, "I like your writing but not you...but I heard your head is fire and that dick is bomb...what do you think about being friends with benefits..." and I catch feelings; I mean, one can't help if they catch feelings or not but to act irrational, like we didn't discuss and agree upon something from the beginning...I'd be a fool! If she catches feelings after the two of you have agreed to keep the relationship strictly sexual- that's on her. But if you lead her to believe you wanna be with her but Diddy bop around commitment talk but whip-whip ya penis inside of her the minute she's horny, no questions asked...you're a fuckboy.
MANipulation:
To manipulate a woman outta some pussy is downright pathetic especially one who has every intention of dating with a purpose. A lot of you dudes reading this probably will never be able to meet the standards of some of these women because your mind still operates like you're in undergrad or even still in high school. You make her feel guilty about having high standards because you know deep down inside of that lil fuckboy heart of yours, you won't be able to meet them and/or you simply just can't. She expects you to treat her with respect and not invite her over all the time for movies, takeout, and dick and you treat her like just another chick with a vagina. "I don't even feel like going out but if you wanna come over and cuddle and we can chill...I'm with that." Cuddle? If you don't getcha ass...
Making a woman feel guilty about having high standards is like spoon feeding a Muslim pork fried rice with no vegetables or onions from the Chinese spot; sure, the meat is in question but doing so is malicious and just fucked up all around. Ok, so you don't mindfuck her for pussy, but let's take a second to speak about the things you say and do for chance after chance.
I firmly believe in giving someone 3 chances (like baseball):
1st chance is to see what I might've done wrong
2nd chance is to look at what you did wrong
3rd chance is to see where WE went wrong, together
A lot of you dudes turn into DJ Khaled with the chances
You fuck up and find some damn way to get back in good with her, just to fuck it up, again? HOW!?! Ladies, listen to me; I don't care if his dick writes Maya Angelou poems on your soul, alright...fuck, giving him, another (hand clap) chance (hand clap, hand clap)! He makes you guilty about shit he should've been doing while ya'll were together, now that you're broken up and you fall for the trap every single time because you believe that his shortcomings is your fault and guess what? They're NOT! That type of shit is stupid because every single time he melts your damn heart with his tears and sorry ass sorrys and you wanna get all soft and allow his ol' fuckboy ass back in, just so he can fuck you over again and again...again and again? Fuck that! All those chances only continue to pit you against yourself and he grave you allow him to dig for you, surely, will be a lonely one.
Physical And Verbal Abuse:
Ima keep this short and simple: if you're reading this and you're a man and you're putting your hands on a woman, you're not a fuckboy...you're a coward. Some of your losers out there will justify your actions with, "I love her, it's just that, sometimes I don't know how to control myself because I love her so much!" That's a poor ass excuses and you're a sorry ass man! Hitting a woman just makes you weak, like, there's no room for debate about it, like, I don't care if she hits you...you walk your bitch ass away instead of striking her. The same dudes who talk that, "I'd be in jail if someone ever did that to my daughter or a woman in my family" are the same ones beating the breaks off of women who are mentally and psychically weak. Let's say you don't hit her...you know verbal abuse has the power to do the same damage, if not worse!? A lot of men are guilty of verbal abuse and I will not sit here and pretend that I haven't been guilty of it once before in the past, but habitually line steppers...y'all need a lit cigarette down your pee hole. Breaking a woman down verbally, does a lot more damage because that's days upon weeks upon months upon years of conditioning, so, when she finally realizes that you aren't the one and move on, now she has to deal with years of abuse. What makes you a fuckboy is how you use her insecurities (flaws) against her, in hopes she doesn't leave you or that she'll forever be damaged.
"I mean, yea we talk but, nothin serious":
You ask a dude about his relationship status and he says this...more than likely it's something serious. Dudes will have a whole ass gf or wife or family and will try to pop, lock, and drop it in your Instagram DM or Twitter DM or Facebook inbox and will have pictures and all that posted, but the moment you ask him about it, "I mean, we're cool but seriously, it's nothing serious, I promise you." *mmmmmohmygod* Or maybe he is single and you ask him how many girls he's talking to but he never answers you, DIRECTLY. If he doesn't answer you, DIRECTLY, 8/10 he's hiding something/someone. You honestly don't lose any females by telling the truth bro, you actually gain a lot more but some of you dudes don't understand that concept because it's like reciting bible scriptures to these fake ass conscious folks on social media. What makes you a fuckboy about this is; if it's nothing serious...why can't you give a serious answer? Dudes be afraid to lose potential pussy because they fear telling the truth, like...just keep it 100!
*****
I already know that 90% of my audience is women and that many of you ladies felt a little neglected because I didn't address you that much during this blog. Ladies, he can be the finest motherfucka you've ever seen but I assure you that once you allow him to get away with small shit, the big things will become easier and easier to digest! Dudes continuously feed ya'll half-assed shit and ya'll get so warm and cozy over hearing it that once he's stopped doing shit, you're already content with what you have- wake yo ass, UP! The fuckboy epidemic is partially the fault of weak ass women who allow and enable men to act the way they do and don't fully check their ass, on their bullshit! You got a man right now trying to build with you that you ignore for whatever reason. I don't care if he lives in Virginia and you live in California or y'all both live in Cali, his ass goes out his WAY, to make sure you're good, regardless of distant and you treat him like shit because ol fuckboy Anthony got you sprung over some dick and a good morning text? Biiiiiiiiitch! I can talk to these dudes but they ain't finna listen to me because they're happy with using your kindest for a weakness and f***ing you at the drop of a text- don't (Bryson Tiller voice). When you stop giving these dudes the time of day...when you stop entertaining these dudes...when you stop making excuses for their shortcomings...when you begin to understand your motherfuckin worth...then and only then will you begin to see a difference in the kind of men you attract! Sure, some of these men will do whatever and say whatever to get pussy but guess what baby girl...
It won't be YOUR pussy!
P.S. all you weak bitches/women...the next blog is dedicated to you :)
@renaissance_brotha_
