Well, I'm glad that a good friend of mine hit me up to tackle just that very problem: the lack of romance amongst the sexes. Not only do women feel that men have strayed away from being romantic, but men feel the same as well (crazy, I know). If you feel that you're alone in the struggle to maintain the romance, think again. Below you will find ways of how to maintain the romance within your relationship/marriage from a woman's perspective, as well as a man's. The guest writer here on A Better Breed Of Man goes by the name of MzCottonCandyKiz (all her material can be found here: MzCottonCandyKiz) and you can also follow her on Instagram (@epiccandiz).
Please take note: anything you notice in the red, is what she's saying and anything in the black, is voiced by myself.
*class is in session*
MzCottonCandyKiz: For me, romance is about creating epic and memorable moments that are long lasting! Now, contrary to the thoughts of the “new” females, the true ladies (such as myself) still very much believe in romance. Unfortunately though, it seems that males where more romantic in their teenage years and then once again, in their 40s: so what happens to all of those years in between (20-39), I mean, do the men just stop...being romantic?
Renaissance Brotha: No, men don't just stop being romantic, ma'am! You mean to tell me that between the ages of 20-40 (20-damn-years) men aren't being romantic? Ludicrous! YES, [some] men DO struggle with the idea of being romantic, but then you have plenty others who are making sure to maintain the romance within their relationship/marriage. In my opinion; romance is about being inventive...being spontaneous! And while you feel that men aren't that romantic, my dear, [some] women aren't stepping up to the plate themselves.
MCCK: Okay, okay you're right, but romance for a woman is the act of her significant other going above and beyond to please her and by please her- I don’t mean just physically either!
Babe give me more than the usual!!! (In my Trey Songz voice).
Babe give me more than the usual!!! (In my Trey Songz voice).
RB: EXACTLY! Romance is about going above and beyond for your partner and making sure they're happy at the expense of doing something nice, just because. If y'all think y'all the only ones who wanna be romanced- think again.
MCCK: I see what you're saying but how about putting some REAL thought and effort into making us smile fellas! This isn’t just any kind of smile; this smile has a glow to it. Her eyes become glassy and she drifts off into another place just for a minute. It's the kinda smile, that makes her tell all her friends how great you are. This smile...makes her have a great day at work no matter what's been going on.
RB: I wanna be the reason you smile (50 Cent voice)
If smiling is your concern, then you have to set the standard ladies! If being romanced is something you enjoy, then make sure that blueprint is laid from jump. We wanna make you happy, we wanna make you smile, I mean, what man wouldn't want that for his lady! In my opinion, it's all about equal treatment in your relationship/marriage not, "babe take me here because it's romantic, babe do this because it's romantic." Plain and simple: romance should be a two-way street.
MCCK: I agree and romance can/should be expressed in many different ways! Romance is going to a new restaurant and saving some so she can taste how great the food was.
RB: Romance for us is about setting the MOOD (because it's not just about the food, it's the mood that helps to set a romantic scene). Instead of going out for dinner, maybe you can shoot him a text,
"hey honey, I wanted to cook dinner tonight, would you like anything special!? Oh, and pick up some flowers on your way home please."
You're direct and to the point! Just making dinner and sitting in front of a TV gets boring, so, spice that s*** up! You dress up, have some music on, candles lit, bottle of wine chilled...after a long day who wouldn't like that kinda treatment (but not all the time). It's not just the act of cooking dinner, it's what comes along with dinner that we find romantical (not a word but you get my point).
MCCK: Romance is getting her flowers but getting them in her favorite color. Or maybe getting a single rose and putting it on the bed, while she’s in the shower just because before you head out. Sending her flowers to her job is also a nice romantic gesture and I mean come on now, what woman wouldn't want a nice bouquet of flowers and or some Edible Arrangements!
MCCK: Romance is getting her flowers but getting them in her favorite color. Or maybe getting a single rose and putting it on the bed, while she’s in the shower just because before you head out. Sending her flowers to her job is also a nice romantic gesture and I mean come on now, what woman wouldn't want a nice bouquet of flowers and or some Edible Arrangements!
RB: Getting flowers or some Edibles from your man...while at work or just because and it's not a day of significance and they're your favorite color…?
MCCK: Romance is making dinner and having it ready when she gets home from a hard day of work.
RB: I agree 110%! After a long day of work and/or class and/or having to deal with a child, who wants to come home to have to clean AND cook…
MCCK: And some women do that already but can ya'll put a little more thought into the regular ol' "dinner and a movie" kinda date because that's something I can do with my girls! Instead of the usual, find a Groupon or look online get some great date night ideas at a great price; we don't have to spend a bunch of money to enjoy a night out on the town, just as long as we're spending the time together! Sometimes we wanna hear, “hey babe, tonight let’s do something a little different. Put on those jeans I love to see you in, you know...the ones that make your ass stick out and don't take too long because we're going to paint some pottery.”
RB: And that's a great idea outside of the usual "dinner and a movie" because then it forces us to put some actual thought into the date. An act of romance for us tho- showing you appreciate us. Sex is cool, hell, a watch is nice but how about writing an actual letter and...*wait for it*...actually mailing it to him! F*** a text, f*** an email, f*** posting your "love and appreciate" for him on some social networking site: sit your ass down, write out how you feel and what you appreciate most about him. It's thoughtful and it's genuine. It's SHOWS that you care because sometimes...words convey a better message that actions can't.
MCCK: Romance is waiting until she gets out the shower and as she's drying off, you grab the lotion and rub her body down. This isn’t to lead to sex or anything, but just a genuine rub down.
RB: This is something I agree with wholeheartedly because we too, enjoy a good rub down. After the gym- sure. After a long day at work- you bet ya. Beating the guy's ass who was a little too friendly at the restaurant- rub daddy down! All jokes aside tho, I think it's something that both parties can enjoy because there's nothing like a good body rub...caressing all those areas the sun misses...sensually...taking your time...sh** like that is pleasurable. Massage the stress away ladies and gents!
MCCK: Romance is giving her the hoodie that you normally wear that smells like that cologne she loves.
RB: Smelling him when he is not around; cute but if you thought I wouldn't mention sex in this blog...guess again. I know what you're thinking ladies,
"all you gotta do is: play with his thing till it gets hard, suck on it, then get on top and ride him, say some nasty stuff, and then he cums and that's it!"
WRONG!
...to an extent at least. Any woman can do those things but what separates YOU from the others is HOW you do it! Sure, men like the simplicity of oral, followed by intercourse, but [some] of us men enjoy a good build up every now and then; please AND entertain us! Get some lingerie, put on some music, light some candles, steal one of his shirts and put on some heels and earrings, and then...do a dance for him! You dislike that he's goes to the strip club? Be his stripper! You, put, that, p****, on, him! So many of y'all ladies listened to Destiny's Child "Cater 2 U" and didn't cater! Sex and romance are linked because of the connection it builds between the both of you; get closer, creative, and captivate!
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Romance is all about doing something nice because you care about the person, not because you feel forced to. No woman should have to force her man to take her out, but also shouldn't rely on the man to be the only one who has to bare the burden of the romance within the relationship/marriage. The idea is to be spontaneous; the element of surprise goes a long way! If she enjoys receiving flowers- send her ass flowers. She enjoys candlelight- eat breakfast by candlelight. Do something SHE enjoys! The idea is to keep the fire burning so you will never ever have to worry about the next man (or woman) doing so! Affection, attention, and some consideration is all she really wants, believe me, but learn when to and when not to. Too much romance and then you create a monster. Too little and you now you have a partner with one foot in and the other one out. Unsure of when to be romantic; take the "odd day/even day" approach: you take odd days and she takes the even days and two even/odd days out of the month, you have to come up with something romantic for the both of ya'll to do. Sounds cheesy, but I guarantee you it will keep things thriving. Don't be afraid to be cheesy but also make sure EFFORT and THOUGHT goes into whatever it is you come up with! Maintain the romance in your love life fellas or…I will some other man (or woman) will. Maintain the romance in your love life ladies…or some other woman (or man) will.
@renaissance_brotha_
@renaissance_brotha_
