Ray Charles To The Curve

The following content may contain heavy usage of the word bitch; viewer discretion is advised.

Before I start this piece, I would like to say thank you to ALL that have been supporting #ABetterBreedOfMan since my launch in March. 6 months later, 20 blogs done&done, thousands upon thousands of page views, I want to sincerely say thank you because it honestly means a lot to me. I really take what I do seriously and do my best to give 110% with every single blog that I post. At one point, I got upset at the fact that everybody wasn't feeling what I was doing but, like with most things in life, I learned the hard way and I thank the Lord for that lesson. I thank the Lord for the talent but more importantly, I thank the lord for LIFE! More importantly tho...thank God for all you Ray Charles dudes right now! (2 Chainz voice). What better way to welcome the new season than with a new blog from yours truly! All you dudes who can't seem to take the hint and think that, that instacrush REALLY likes you when all she REALLY likes is yo posts...guess again.

*class is in session*

Ladies, I know you felt some kinda way when I wrote, "He's Not That Into You, Respect The Curve," so I figured, what they hell, let me make a piece about something I am PERSONALLY familiar with: being "Ray Charles to the curve". I am a man who can testify about having an interest in a woman and that feeling not being mutual, whatsoever! I have ignored many red flags in my day because I figured, "what the hell, she gave me the number, she MUST like me a lil bit...right?" Wrong, WRONG...she was only doing that so I wouldn't keep asking! Some of you dudes out there don't get that technique, so, I will help you get it. Now before I begin, I'm only speaking from experience, so if you can relate, making sure you leave your testimony in the comment section, otherwise, lets get it started

Hey Buddy!:

Bitch...don't "hey buddy" me!

I know what "hey buddy" is code for and it's not sex! Seriously tho, a lot of you guys don't realize that words like: buddy, fren, friend, pal, brotha, dude, bro, homie, etc is really code for, "I'm not interested in you like that!" She hits you up because you're cool to talk to, about the dude she's f***in...not because she WANTS to f*** you! You're like the dude she talks to when her gay best friend is out twerkin, her best friends are busy, and the dude she's f***in is probably out f***in somebody else or playing Grand Theft Auto 5! How a woman speaks to you, will dictate her level of attraction towards you.

"Well I'm fine...my day was good, thanks for asking...so can I tell you about what's been going on wit this man!!":

Well...my day was good too bitch!

If she hits you up on some, "hey, how are you?" and then proceeds to ask no further questions about YOU or anything that pertains to YOU...she don't give a damn about you, simple and plain. When a female is interested in you, she'll ask you questions about what's going on in your life or just general questions about you that she hasn't gathered from social networks. Answer me this fellas: does she know you like red velvet cake because she ASKED you or did you willingly TELL her because she told you about her date, and the dude that ordered it for her? I'll wait...

Exactly!

If she ain't read it off of FB, Twitter, or obtain it from an Instagram post; you had to tell her and that right there should let you know...she's not that interested in you. A woman who is interested, will take the time to get to know you, not just obtain information that you've learned, for the betterment of her.

"Damn, he is fine!"
"Who?"
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't think you heard me...one of my followers!":

Bitch...I look good too!

Her #MC (ManCrush) might be LeBron James, hell, it might even be Macklemore, but unless it's someone outside of stardom...her talking about other dudes, should raise more than just your eyebrows; it should raise some concerns. "Damn, but seriously, @coreyniceeyes looks good! Ima screenshot and you show." Bitch, don't send me no pics of no dudes unless it's Jesus himself! Anytime casual talks about other dudes get brought up, I mean CLEARLY, she's telling you...she's not interested.

Your jokes...just don't make her laugh:

Bitch...I know I ain't Kevin Hart but come on, laugh at something!

You try to tell some jokes to lighten the mood/break the ice and all you seem to be doing is making her more and more agitated! Your lil comedy act may have worked with the last girl that "friend zoned" but it's not going over well with this one...take the hint. When you tell a joke and she doesn't say something like, "lol, aww," or "that was cute," or there's no lmao, LMAO, ctfu (cracking the f*** up), LML (laughing mad loud), or even ROTFL (rolling on the floor laughing), she's not interested and clearly she doesn't find you funny. Forcing corny jokes is like forcing a dry penis into a drier vagina; that sh*t will only hurt both parties involved!

"Oh hey, I'm bringing Lali, Lindsey, and Manda...see you soon!":

Bitch...leave those bitches at home!

If you have never had any alone time with her, it's clear she's probably not interested in you. Sure, DOUBLE dates are cool but handicap dates (where her friend...or you're the third-wheel) aren't fun at all, ESPECIALLY when you're trying to get to know her better. You can't sneak kisses at the table while you, her, and Becky are all out at Applebees! You tryna get a kiss and she's tryna get a selfie; you tryna cup her ass but she's moving away tryna get a better angle on her steak and shrimp dish, making sure that there's no guest appearance from your plate/cup... #ItBeLikeThatSometimes

She doesn't return you call/text/emails or any other form of communication:

Bitch...you just said you were sleep, how you like that pic in ya sleep!?
This should be pretty damn obvious for all you dudes! If anytime you call and she doesn't pick up, she's not interested. If you try to FaceTime/Oovoo/IChat/Skype/Tango and she declines with the quickness or it just rings out, she's not interested. If you text her and you don't get a response, clearly, she's not into you. If you do get a response and she says, "oh, I was busy," but she managed to put up two RP on Instagram, tweeted, and updated her pic on FB WHILE she was, "busy"...she's not interested. If you do text and she responds with, "who this???" all those damn question marks should be an indicator that she...is not feeling you and/or she deleted your number and/or it was never stored!

Best friend: "Oh, it's nice to meet you...":
Bitch...you ain't tell ya BESTIE about me tho?!?
Anytime the best friend(s) have no idea of who you are, chalk that up to never being talked about from a lack of not-giving-a-f***! If she's feeling you, you better believe the best friends, her parents, siblings, her favorite auntie, social networks, hell, even the person that does her hair is gonna know about you. A woman who has an interest in you will sing that sh*t to the WORLD like a bird on a weak tree branch in the middle of Spring!

I'm celibate:
You ain't celibate bitch...you just had sex with Marc last week!
If the sex talk hasn't happened, let's say, AT ALL, it won't happen. Let's say y'all do chill, alone, and she's laughing at your lil jokes n'what-not and actually having a conversation with you...pay attention to her body language: although she's "speaking" her body language will say more then the mouth ever will. If she's cold, standoff-ish, that's a sign of her being uninterested. You like her right? So you're gonna stand close to her. You THINK she likes you right? So why she give you church hugs (that's when there's enough space in between the two of you to birth twins) and sit at the end of the couch? She's, not, in-te-res-ted!

Ladies, I know some of these dudes you attract are beyond annoying and only wanna have sex with you when all you want is a friend but if you aren't making what it is that you want, crystal clear, it will never be clear to him! You're concerned about hurting his feelings but will keep him around and complain about what he's doing to you when you have the power to change your situation. What you will allow, will damn sure continue and if you aren't taking the necessary steps to allow his ass to get the bigger picture that YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED IN HIM...he will continue to call and text you day in and day out and you will continue to be annoyed, day in and day out. More importantly fellas...man up! Stop ignoring the signs, tryna bypass to the ass when she wouldn't spit on you even if you were on fire! Not only do you make yourself look bad, but you put her in a position to where she'll become even more skeptical about any dude for the future. If she's interested in you, you will know, I mean, Jehovah Witnesses knock on your door faithfully right? Don't be a Jehovah Witness...knock on a door that will be receptive of what you tryna say. If you take nothing from what I've said, take this

Please, leave her, the, f***alone!

Ladies: what are some of the other signs that men often miss? What has worked for you when you've had a "Jehovah Witness" kinda dude who just wouldn't take the hint?
Fellas: have you ever been in this kinda situation? Let me know, let me know!

@renaissance_brotha_

He's Not That Into You, Respect The Curve

Me: So, when we chillen again?
Her: I gotta get back to you. I got a busy work week coming up and I don't wanna plan something and something come up, you know.
Me: But isn't your schedule set?
Her: Yea, and?
Me: And, if your schedule is set, and you know what time you get off everyday, how could something that WE plan, together, get rescheduled?
Her: I mean, I'm just keeping my options open. I loved our first date and I would like to see you but I...
Me: But you're swerving me? Be honest.
Her: Those are your words, not mine. I would like to see you again...I just don't know when Sha...
Me: Don't even have to finish that...I'll be in touch.

Was I upset or anything like that? No. I wholeheartedly respect anybody that can keep it 100% with me at ALL TIMES! In this particular case, I saw it coming and once I began to hear another man's name come out, I knew what it was.I was being swerved. I've been swerved more than the Yankees has championships! I can handle rejectionI've learned to handle rejection as I got older and what rejection does is this:

1) keep you down and discourage you from trying again or
2) it can make you look at what might have went wrong, work on that, and approach the next situation, differently.

Now on the flip side...I've swerved more women than the Knicks have championships (they have 2, I've swerved 4 to be exact). Sometimes, women miss the signs that are in front of them because often times, those signs aren't so clear. Other times, they're clearer than a MOTHERF****!!! This piece doesn't come from a place of malice or hurt or any of that (no-no). I'm not using this platform of mine to talk down on the opposite sex or belittle them any (no-no). I'm using this platform of mine to help the women of the world (ok, the ones who frequent my blog) to get a better understanding of what it means when a guy is JUST not that into them as they are lead to believe.

*class is in session*

I know what you're thinking, "what in the HELL does swerve mean?" Well, according to urbandictionary.com, "swerve" is often used to imply dodging someone.

Example:
Brandon: Yo, y'all wait for me! I wanna go to lunch with y'all.
Maria: You really gon wait for him?
Jon Jon: Nah, I'm bout to swerve him and tell him we bout to go Subway!

I digress...

No female wants to be swerved! Y'all will do everything in yall powers to swerve a dude before he swerves you, why? Because (some) women don't know HOW to deal with rejection in a rational manner and will allow it to harbor for a long period of time and so on and so forth. On the other hand...a lot of y'all aren't reading the warning signs placed in front of you! There's this thing called...*thinking to self*...oh, I got it...it's called A HINT! Remember when you were younger and you would play a game and somebody didn't wanna give you a DIRECT response/answer and they would give you a hint? Well, men do the same thing, but we do it in different ways and the following will help you to be able to better identify...

If hints were horse sh*t, you'd be Miley Cirus twerkin all in it! Sure, certain signs aren't that easy to recognize like a guy not calling and texting you if he’s not interested, because men who do that will still entertain you in different ways. "Yo, you really need to stop hittin me up, I'm not feeling you like that," usually gets translated into some sorta bs mixed signal. Sure, he might be thinkin, "damn, you're personality is boring as sh*t but you got some good ass p****...I'll hit you when I need some of those back shots," but what gets said is..."oh yea, oh yea, I enjoyed it too...I can't wait to see you again babe (insert smiley emoji)." Most dudes are gonna curtail what they REALLY wanna say because honestly, things flow better that way, so, he'll keep texting and what not, even tho he's not that interested. Dudes will fake interest in an effort to spare feelings. It’s ironic, by refusing to be rude and leading women on, we create this fake reality which not only wastes her time, but ends up scarring her worse than that initial rejection would have. You think Mike is being nice when he tells you he's busy Monday-Friday to grab something to eat but FINDS time to talk and text with you a majority of the day...hmmm, something smells fishy. You think he doesn't want to get into a relationship with you because he told you over and over...and over, how his last GF did him wrong but he finds time to get into your panties and doesn't look to be in a relationship with you anytime soon...hmmm, something smells fishy. He can tell you the grass is blue and the sky is green and explain the SH*T outta why it is but because you're so caught up, you can't see what dude is doing! Dude ain't busy, he's not incomplete like Sisqo was, you're not his type, and he's not into you like that. He's still a boy, dressed up like a man...give that man an Emmy!

That man performs like Denzel and TALKS pretty damn smooth...but the two of y'all never talk about sh*t! While looks may draw you to each other, one conversation can be the difference between turning someone on and turning someone off. There are girls who assume that because a guy asked for her phone number that he’s interested, that’s half true. He was interested initially, but that doesn't mean you are going to automatically keep his attention. You could be great the first few weeks and then, you fall flat. You know what it's like meeting a new chick? Like Tyrone Biggums taking a hit of CRACK! We as men act like Rick Ross at an all you can eat buffet when we meet a new chick! If you're not doing your job and we've been on a few dates and things are just blah and we meet someone new...8/10 you're getting swerved hun. You think those basic ass convos y'all have mean something? Nah. Think about all of what yall talk about. Now I want you to think about how much of that is VALUABLE info....calculate that...*add the 1*...if you guys spend 1 1/2 hours or more on the phone and only 20-sumthin mins of it is useful info, that's something to think about. The contents of your conversation will reveal all if you’re willing to take your head out of your ass, stop smiling, and actually pay attention. When a dude is young, all he has is his convo, why? Because he's not allowed to do much BESIDES talk and get to know you & plus, it's bs convo. An older man ain't got time to be spending on the phone, talking about basic issues like y'all did in HS. There’s a difference between a man who asks how your day was and means it, and one who is just trying to get brownie points. If he really cares he will ask deeper questions: is your co-worker still getting on your nerves? How's so&so doing? Hell, if he kicks you off the phone because he knows you have school work to do, *ding ding ding*. A man who is interested will be invested. If you’re a grown woman and your “friend” only wants to talk about sending nudes, when you’re coming over, or always playing video games or watching t.v., not paying you no-neva-mind, then he’s not invested in your life, he’s invested in his life. Stop the HS sh*t and grow up.

"But the guy I'm with took me out already and we're friends on social networks!" - student sitting in the middle.

I'm glad you said that because that brings me to my next point: a date or two and following each other on social networks means sh*t these days! You think ima let you tag me in your pics when we go out on a date? Nah. B****, crop me out the photo and say you're out with "him"...b****es like "him. Now, just because we talk a lot via DM, FBM, etc means nothing! How the hell can I tell if you're being nice or sarcastic via a convo thru your inbox? I can't, unless you state it. Guys are a lot more thirsty, which is easy to pick up on but ladies, it's done differently. Just because he entertains you on these networks, doesn't necessarily mean he's feeling you. Honesty is brutal, but it’s also the most decent thing a person can practice. Dudes who are interested, will ask you for your number and continue it offline, and as the two of you have built up enough familiarity, he might even ask you on a date. Now I know a lot of you ladies will shake ya heads at this but if a guy likes you, he will try to have sex with you early. We might get rejected but a man likes a challenge.  This is done...well, I won't say why it's done. Guys who aren't really interested may still try to hit, but it’s a half-ass attempt because she’s not worthy of his "LeBron in the Playoffs type game." You got him to take you to the place that has great margaritas and mediocre steak, round of applause. But what did you learn on that date? I'll answer: sh*t. He wasn't that interested so he allowed you to pick the place and lies to you when he said, "oh yea, I had a good time, when ima see you again?" Probably never because you ain't let him hit it, you ordered mad sh*t and only ate a quarter of it, talked about how North West is a dumb name for a child, how your professor is always late, and...you ended the date with a messily ass church hug, you're lucky if you get a text! It's not all about sex, but, if you're not f***king by date two, considered yourself canceled.

If a man likes you, he will do any and every thing it is in his powers to see you, point blank. If he rearranges his schedule just to fit you in, that's a clear sign he wants to see you especially if he plans the damn date. If he gives you some sh*t like, "I can't do it, I tol my cousin I'd wait on line with him for them new Js," or some s*** like, "I don't wanna stay out too late because I have work at 1...pm," clearly that's a sign he's not into you. No man makes excuses not to see a woman he likes, but he will create a laundry list to avoid the women he doesn't like. Open your f***ing eyes, if he was down for you, he would be around you. Where’s that "him" you’re refusing to talk to other guys for? Where’s that "him" you've been making subtweets/post about? Where’s the "him" that you’re thinking about right now? He’s where he wants to be, and clearly that isn't with you. Talk is cheap...and so is the leather quality on the Jordans he wears while he's out with the chick he's REALLY interested in! If you think you're too "all that" to not get curved...consider the last guy you've talked to and it didn't go accordingly...I'll wait...

Stop ignoring the signs and making excuses! If a guy is not that into, he's simply not that into you. Fellas, stop leading this women on as well. Not only are you f***ing yourselves up but you're damaging her as well! Insecurities don't just come from family, friends, and life experiences, they come from the relationships they have with men! At the end of the day tho, ladies

...you gotta respect the curve.

@renaissance_brotha_