So I Have This Friend...Whose In a Situationship

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent*

Email from @UHateMe__JoinDaClub

Subject: U give advice…I need some

Hi Renaissance Man, my name is Jasmine and my bestie is in love with your lil blogs so I had to read one for myself and I will say, you got it goin on! They be long, but it covers a lot and I like that you kno what you talkin bout. So, basically I need advice because she said you good with the advice. Me and my man have been together, off and on tho (you kno how that be) for about 3 years now and I love him but I don't feel like we goin nowhere you kno what I mean? Like, he cheated, so I cheated. He be talking to other chicks on the gram, so I talk to other dudes on the gram, its only fair lol. But seriously, idk if you listen to Fab but he has this song called Situation ships and I feel that song fits him and me perfectly you know what I mean. So, if you could, could you help me out a lil, I would appreciate that or if you could. thank you renaissance man!!

So I Have This Friend…Whose In A Situationship

For those who are unaware of what a "situationship" is, ABetterBreedOfMan defines a "situationship" in two different ways...

1) a relationship where both parties argue on a constant basis and can't seem to find a common ground with their differences. You become used to each other after a period of time but you're unsure if things should end, stay as is, or change for the better. It's a "situation" that you KNOW needs to be dealt with more sooner than later, but, you're unsure of how to address the problems at hand.

2) something more than a friendship, with relationship like characteristics, but...without the title. So basically: you're having sex, you're going out on dates, you're getting to know each other, all that good stuff but...the two of you HAVE feelings for each other (and this is known) but, you're not together as boyfriend-girlfriend.

stupid, I know, but I digress...

We've all been in a "situationship" once or twice (some more than others) but this song helps to capture just WHAT a "sitatuinonship" truly is in every essence of it's title. For those who have never heard the song by Brooklyn rapper Fabolous, please take a minute to listen (Situationships) before you read the blog.

Done?

*class is in session*

So, you need advice, here it is...

"and all we do is fuck and argue/Yeah that's it, fuck and argue"

When I first heard this, I thought he was saying, "and all we do is fuckin argue/yea that's it, fuck AND argue," as some sort of play on words but I digress. Arguments usually come from a few different places:

A) misunderstanding
B) miscommunication
C) I was hurt by something you said and or did/didn't do

and so on and so forth. Whatever the reason may be, they always lead to sh** being said, that shouldn't have been said in the first place and you regretting whatever it was that you said in the heat of the moment. You're not thinking, you're mad, so, who cares if I hurt your feelings at the moment because all I wanna do is express how I feel and make YOU understand where I'M coming from. You're not responding from a place of understanding, 9/10 it's coming from a place of hurt and anger, so I'm not even thinking logically, I'm just responding and that's where that misunderstanding of the situation can lead to miscommunication. How might you ask? Because now someone is yelling!

You: "You mad over Instagram?"
Them: "No! I'm mad over how you CARRY yourself ON Instagram!"
You: "That makes no sen..."
Them: "NO, NO, BECAUSE I DON'T CARE! YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME! ALL YOU DO IS FUCKING, BEAT AROUND THE BUSH AND NEVER LISTEN NOR SEE WHAT THE FUCK I BE SAYIN!!!"

An argument can go from 0-60 in no time when things get heated. Things get said...feelings are hurt...days go by...and now there's that awkwardness. What fixes arguments better than Dr. Phil and Iyanla? S-E-X! You're sorry and they're sorry, so, yall end all that with some sex! You remember what happened in Baby Boy: Yvette and Jody was yelling at each other in one scence, "I hate you...I hate you!", next scene... "Oh I love you! (insert moans and screams here)". Point being: arguments and sex go hand in hand...but does sex, ever truly solve anything? I'll get to that later...

"why have somebody lying with me every night/If they just gon be lying to me every night"

Shit ain't right...them long days gon turn into real awkward nights, trust me! Lying is one of the BIGGEST things we as people hate the most but tend to ignore or put on the back burner quite often when it comes to someone we love. Ya'll in bed talking and you ask your partner something that you KNOW they're gonna lie about but for some reason, you let it slide. If you're laying in the bed with a liar, not only is THAT person a liar, but it makes you an even bigger liar because: what was it that you told that person that you hated the most when ya'll first started talking? You hate, LIARS! "If there's one thing I despise the most: its liars!". I know what youre thinking, "well how am I a liar?" well,

1) you told that person you hate liars but you allow the lying to happen and check it half ass
2) how can you know a person is lying to your face and do not a damn thing about it?!? (that's like me robbing you with condom over a banana, and spray painting it black and saying...its a gun; sh** makes no sense!)
3) you're lying about how you feel! Oh, now y'all Eminem and Rihanna huh, you love the way they lie...f*** outta here! Lying to yourself about how you feel doesn't hurt that person, it hurts YOU ya dumbass!

You might be confused now, but I'll bring it together later...

"used to be lovers, now we, used to each other/keep accusing each other, of us, using the other/and what's crazy is, soon as you fall back they crawl back/saying they sorry and want it all back"

Shit ain't right...after awhile, you just become, used to each other. I put up with ya sh*t- because I love you. You come in late and don't say sh*t- because I've grown not to care. Oh, you don't care- well I don't care. After awhile, your partner becomes like, idk...your roommate and you only go to your roommate when you want/need something. That's when you begin to feel like you're being taken advantage of, used even and that's when, sh*t starts to hit the fan. You stop doing for that person, then you break up, and then it turns into, "this is my sorry fooorrr, 2000 (whatever) " or "I'm sorry babe, I, I just wanted to see if you would fight for me,"

Bruh!

***"titles ain't shit if the story don't match it/now you got a itch, looking for a way to scratch it/flirting online hoping shorty don't catch it"

I star this one because this is probably the biggest thing when it comes to "situationships": non-titled relationships. What this means is: you're with someone, you guys have sex, date, you've become friends, you know their friends, you've met the family, you post subliminal messages about each other on social networks, you've met the kids, basically, it's LIKE you're in a relationship but...neither one of you have decided on taking it to that next level. After awhile you'll want something after not wanting, kinda like the female who wants what you're eating, when her ass could've just ordered it her self. Never and I mean never should no male or female accept being in no, "oh i like you but I'm not looking for anything right now, just someone to kick it with and if things go to that level, ima wait for you to say it because that's not what I wanted in the first place and yes, we will have sex, but you can't be out here having me look stupid, f*cking other people, and if I love you, you have to love me the f*** back," kinda relationship. Why? Because if that person decides to, idk, entertain someone else, technically, you have no right to be mad (unless they blatantly lie to you about it). Now when you're in a relationship, at some point, you're gonna get that itch, and you're gonna wanna explore new options. Twitter, Instagram, and other social networking sites allow you to do just that but the problem with that is, now you gotta keep it on the down low like R. Kelly and don't get caught up, like R. Kelly, and get an asswhippin like, R. Kelly. Flirting online: is cool. Flirting online with the intention on doing something BEYOND just flirting: not cool. To be blunt as possible: stop allowing social networking sites to dictate how your relationship should look and stop allowing yourself to be in these situationships that only benefit you for the meantime; after 25 years old, it's about building into something greater than meaningless sex and matching Jordans...I'm thinking...marriage, kids, house, cars, joint accounts, relationship with the Lord, sex at basketball game.

"you tryna take back something you already said /that's like giving CPR to something already dead"
I'll be as frank as possible with this one: think before you speak because once those words leave out, maannn will, they, do, damage! Verbal abuse is so crazy in a relationship, like, it has the potential of f***ing someone up so bad for the next person and we as the abuser...don't even realize it. You can tell that person you adore them, love them, and all that mushy stuff but the moment, the very moment you say something that catches them off guard, that's totally left field, I mean something sooo hurtful; it's like everything you said PRIOR to that, has gone out the window. You ever burn a bridge and then realize...

how the f*** am I gonna get back across?!

You can't. I mean, you could, if and only if that person decides to send a boat (wants to make amends) and most times, they don't. Never burn a bridge before fully knowing if you're gonna need that same bridge to cross again in life. You know how hard it is to fully forgive someone who you love and trust so much after that same mouth that they just used to tell you they loved you with, rips you apart?!?! 

Bruh!

HOW I SEE IT IS...

*with regards to sex and arguments*
Sex after an argument is cool because that orgasm helps you relax but then what? You cum and those feelings that you have for that person a few minutes, hours, days, weeks ago are still there! Sex did nothing really if you take into consideration that in a few days or a week or so, you're still gonna argue about crap that already happened. My solution: thoroughly talk about what it is without yelling and over-talking. Don't cut each other off, don't dismiss, don't disregard what they're saying, and most importantly...listen AND hear where that person is coming from and think, before you speak.

*with regards to love, trust, & lying picture*
This is how we picture it:

I love you, so I trust you, and because I trust you, I expect you not to lie to me...

But, this is how it goes is:

I love you, I really do, but I don't trust you, so, I lie to you so you won't get(feel) hurt because of what I do(did) because I really do love you!

All of that sh*t is intertwined with each other...think about it.

Situationships my dear, don't work...ever! I say, have a face to face convo with your man and hash things out because if you don't, things will only get worse! Don't wait till its too late to realize that the person who's been riding with you for so long...will actually get out the car and help you fix that flat: let it marinate. Being with someone who is unsure of what you are and where you're going, isn't the person for you. If you need anymore advice, just let me know. Hopefully this song break down helped you.

@renaissance_brotha_

He's Not That Into You, Respect The Curve

Me: So, when we chillen again?
Her: I gotta get back to you. I got a busy work week coming up and I don't wanna plan something and something come up, you know.
Me: But isn't your schedule set?
Her: Yea, and?
Me: And, if your schedule is set, and you know what time you get off everyday, how could something that WE plan, together, get rescheduled?
Her: I mean, I'm just keeping my options open. I loved our first date and I would like to see you but I...
Me: But you're swerving me? Be honest.
Her: Those are your words, not mine. I would like to see you again...I just don't know when Sha...
Me: Don't even have to finish that...I'll be in touch.

Was I upset or anything like that? No. I wholeheartedly respect anybody that can keep it 100% with me at ALL TIMES! In this particular case, I saw it coming and once I began to hear another man's name come out, I knew what it was.I was being swerved. I've been swerved more than the Yankees has championships! I can handle rejectionI've learned to handle rejection as I got older and what rejection does is this:

1) keep you down and discourage you from trying again or
2) it can make you look at what might have went wrong, work on that, and approach the next situation, differently.

Now on the flip side...I've swerved more women than the Knicks have championships (they have 2, I've swerved 4 to be exact). Sometimes, women miss the signs that are in front of them because often times, those signs aren't so clear. Other times, they're clearer than a MOTHERF****!!! This piece doesn't come from a place of malice or hurt or any of that (no-no). I'm not using this platform of mine to talk down on the opposite sex or belittle them any (no-no). I'm using this platform of mine to help the women of the world (ok, the ones who frequent my blog) to get a better understanding of what it means when a guy is JUST not that into them as they are lead to believe.

*class is in session*

I know what you're thinking, "what in the HELL does swerve mean?" Well, according to urbandictionary.com, "swerve" is often used to imply dodging someone.

Example:
Brandon: Yo, y'all wait for me! I wanna go to lunch with y'all.
Maria: You really gon wait for him?
Jon Jon: Nah, I'm bout to swerve him and tell him we bout to go Subway!

I digress...

No female wants to be swerved! Y'all will do everything in yall powers to swerve a dude before he swerves you, why? Because (some) women don't know HOW to deal with rejection in a rational manner and will allow it to harbor for a long period of time and so on and so forth. On the other hand...a lot of y'all aren't reading the warning signs placed in front of you! There's this thing called...*thinking to self*...oh, I got it...it's called A HINT! Remember when you were younger and you would play a game and somebody didn't wanna give you a DIRECT response/answer and they would give you a hint? Well, men do the same thing, but we do it in different ways and the following will help you to be able to better identify...

If hints were horse sh*t, you'd be Miley Cirus twerkin all in it! Sure, certain signs aren't that easy to recognize like a guy not calling and texting you if he’s not interested, because men who do that will still entertain you in different ways. "Yo, you really need to stop hittin me up, I'm not feeling you like that," usually gets translated into some sorta bs mixed signal. Sure, he might be thinkin, "damn, you're personality is boring as sh*t but you got some good ass p****...I'll hit you when I need some of those back shots," but what gets said is..."oh yea, oh yea, I enjoyed it too...I can't wait to see you again babe (insert smiley emoji)." Most dudes are gonna curtail what they REALLY wanna say because honestly, things flow better that way, so, he'll keep texting and what not, even tho he's not that interested. Dudes will fake interest in an effort to spare feelings. It’s ironic, by refusing to be rude and leading women on, we create this fake reality which not only wastes her time, but ends up scarring her worse than that initial rejection would have. You think Mike is being nice when he tells you he's busy Monday-Friday to grab something to eat but FINDS time to talk and text with you a majority of the day...hmmm, something smells fishy. You think he doesn't want to get into a relationship with you because he told you over and over...and over, how his last GF did him wrong but he finds time to get into your panties and doesn't look to be in a relationship with you anytime soon...hmmm, something smells fishy. He can tell you the grass is blue and the sky is green and explain the SH*T outta why it is but because you're so caught up, you can't see what dude is doing! Dude ain't busy, he's not incomplete like Sisqo was, you're not his type, and he's not into you like that. He's still a boy, dressed up like a man...give that man an Emmy!

That man performs like Denzel and TALKS pretty damn smooth...but the two of y'all never talk about sh*t! While looks may draw you to each other, one conversation can be the difference between turning someone on and turning someone off. There are girls who assume that because a guy asked for her phone number that he’s interested, that’s half true. He was interested initially, but that doesn't mean you are going to automatically keep his attention. You could be great the first few weeks and then, you fall flat. You know what it's like meeting a new chick? Like Tyrone Biggums taking a hit of CRACK! We as men act like Rick Ross at an all you can eat buffet when we meet a new chick! If you're not doing your job and we've been on a few dates and things are just blah and we meet someone new...8/10 you're getting swerved hun. You think those basic ass convos y'all have mean something? Nah. Think about all of what yall talk about. Now I want you to think about how much of that is VALUABLE info....calculate that...*add the 1*...if you guys spend 1 1/2 hours or more on the phone and only 20-sumthin mins of it is useful info, that's something to think about. The contents of your conversation will reveal all if you’re willing to take your head out of your ass, stop smiling, and actually pay attention. When a dude is young, all he has is his convo, why? Because he's not allowed to do much BESIDES talk and get to know you & plus, it's bs convo. An older man ain't got time to be spending on the phone, talking about basic issues like y'all did in HS. There’s a difference between a man who asks how your day was and means it, and one who is just trying to get brownie points. If he really cares he will ask deeper questions: is your co-worker still getting on your nerves? How's so&so doing? Hell, if he kicks you off the phone because he knows you have school work to do, *ding ding ding*. A man who is interested will be invested. If you’re a grown woman and your “friend” only wants to talk about sending nudes, when you’re coming over, or always playing video games or watching t.v., not paying you no-neva-mind, then he’s not invested in your life, he’s invested in his life. Stop the HS sh*t and grow up.

"But the guy I'm with took me out already and we're friends on social networks!" - student sitting in the middle.

I'm glad you said that because that brings me to my next point: a date or two and following each other on social networks means sh*t these days! You think ima let you tag me in your pics when we go out on a date? Nah. B****, crop me out the photo and say you're out with "him"...b****es like "him. Now, just because we talk a lot via DM, FBM, etc means nothing! How the hell can I tell if you're being nice or sarcastic via a convo thru your inbox? I can't, unless you state it. Guys are a lot more thirsty, which is easy to pick up on but ladies, it's done differently. Just because he entertains you on these networks, doesn't necessarily mean he's feeling you. Honesty is brutal, but it’s also the most decent thing a person can practice. Dudes who are interested, will ask you for your number and continue it offline, and as the two of you have built up enough familiarity, he might even ask you on a date. Now I know a lot of you ladies will shake ya heads at this but if a guy likes you, he will try to have sex with you early. We might get rejected but a man likes a challenge.  This is done...well, I won't say why it's done. Guys who aren't really interested may still try to hit, but it’s a half-ass attempt because she’s not worthy of his "LeBron in the Playoffs type game." You got him to take you to the place that has great margaritas and mediocre steak, round of applause. But what did you learn on that date? I'll answer: sh*t. He wasn't that interested so he allowed you to pick the place and lies to you when he said, "oh yea, I had a good time, when ima see you again?" Probably never because you ain't let him hit it, you ordered mad sh*t and only ate a quarter of it, talked about how North West is a dumb name for a child, how your professor is always late, and...you ended the date with a messily ass church hug, you're lucky if you get a text! It's not all about sex, but, if you're not f***king by date two, considered yourself canceled.

If a man likes you, he will do any and every thing it is in his powers to see you, point blank. If he rearranges his schedule just to fit you in, that's a clear sign he wants to see you especially if he plans the damn date. If he gives you some sh*t like, "I can't do it, I tol my cousin I'd wait on line with him for them new Js," or some s*** like, "I don't wanna stay out too late because I have work at 1...pm," clearly that's a sign he's not into you. No man makes excuses not to see a woman he likes, but he will create a laundry list to avoid the women he doesn't like. Open your f***ing eyes, if he was down for you, he would be around you. Where’s that "him" you’re refusing to talk to other guys for? Where’s that "him" you've been making subtweets/post about? Where’s the "him" that you’re thinking about right now? He’s where he wants to be, and clearly that isn't with you. Talk is cheap...and so is the leather quality on the Jordans he wears while he's out with the chick he's REALLY interested in! If you think you're too "all that" to not get curved...consider the last guy you've talked to and it didn't go accordingly...I'll wait...

Stop ignoring the signs and making excuses! If a guy is not that into, he's simply not that into you. Fellas, stop leading this women on as well. Not only are you f***ing yourselves up but you're damaging her as well! Insecurities don't just come from family, friends, and life experiences, they come from the relationships they have with men! At the end of the day tho, ladies

...you gotta respect the curve.

@renaissance_brotha_

Liar, Liar Weave On Fire

Disclaimer: These don’t apply to ALL females, just some and the ones that I’ve encountered...and then some. So please don't come looking for me and try to give me a piece of your mind or anything like that because I will have a homeless person give YOU, a 2 piece for a 2 piece and a biscuit, word to Yeezy & Kim's unborn child.

For today's class, we will be discussing lies that females tend to tell. Some are small, others, well, they might pretty big, but this piece is meant to serve as form of entertainment, nothing more, nothing less. Now before you read the blog, I need you to take a couple mins to watch the below clip, it will assist in the humor that is attached to this blog: MADTV Vancome Lady (pay attention the her "catch phrase")

*class is in session*

Pretty...Brown Eyes?:
YOU KNOW WHAT?! (Vancome Lady voice): I’m almost certain your natural eyes aren’t wolf grey or Green Lantern green, especially since not a damn soul in your family got that color. Wearing contacts are cool and needed if you can't see, I’m sure we all can agree on that, BUT, when you wear colors that are wild crazy…#fail! A friend of mine deceived me once (I won't put you on blast but you know who you are and I'm sure you'll text me a screenshot of this after you're done reading this lol) and it was crazy because she said her eyes were some crazy color (grey or some ish like that and I believed her (smh). Moral of the story: leave that for Halloween…or for the rave parties.

"Is That Yo Hair?!!?" (Missy Elliot voice):
YOU KNOW WHAT? (Vancome Lady voice): You’re right hun, you paid for it, so it IS your hair. But just because you paid for that pack of Milky Way or those bundles of Nigerian Brazilian, DOES NOT give you the right to lie about it being your hair. I know you're reading this like, "but who really does that?!?" but you would be surprised at just how many females have told me that it was really there and the work that was done to their hair was flawless to the point where you couldn't even tell the difference. Now, my eye for “your hair” vs. “horse hair” has become sharper over the years and I thank the countless number of females who’ve taught me how to distinguish between the 2. It’s not cool to lie about this for a number of reasons:
1) we're having sex and you give me the green light to pull on your hair and it comes off…you now have an angry young black man on your hands! I’m more than likely to toss it back in your face and keep goin or...toss it on the dirty floor.
2) If you spend the night and I wake up before you and you roll over and the hair stays on the pillow…expect a post about you and a damn blog, straight like that.

Babe, I'm Not Mad:
YOU KNOW WHAT?! (Vancome Lady voice): ...but you ARE mad! I know that, you know that, so there’s no need to lie about this. Usually, women who have been hurt by dudes in their lives, often unintentionally, use this phrase as an emotional defense.
Example: If James forgets his 3 year anniversary, wifey isn’t gonna let it. Instead of admitting that she’s actually quite hurt, she’ll say, “I’m not mad babe” and pat him on the back. LIAR!
She may half-heartedly pretend that she doesn’t care, but she does. In reality, she does care, very much so, but doesn’t want to look too bitchy about it, so she puts up the flimsiest of facades to indicate otherwise.
Now you KNOW, this kinda lie is easy to pick up on because some ladies barely bother to hide their irritation in this situation. As unjust as it may seem, ya’ll want us to read ya’ll minds and learn that, in this case, “Babe, I’m not angry,” actually means, “I really wish a snake would bite yo ass cause that’s how obvious my hate for you right now is.” Just let me know what the deal is…I’m not Miss Cleo, just tossin that out there.

Do I Look Like I Want/Need a Man?:
YOU KNOW WHAT?! (Vancome Lady voice): This is false, although at least it’s told with the best intentions, in order to soften rejection. How often do we hear, “I just got outta a bad relationship and I will kill the next man who breaks my heart!” or “f**k dudes, get money! I’m too focused to have time for some dude.” Truth about it is, if Shae is single and at all interested in you, she will certainly make the time to date you. Plain annddd simple! Are you unsure of how to detect if she’s lying: see if she appears to be uncomfortable, can’t look you in the eye, full of excuses…then liar, liar, weave on fire! Let it go. Many more females out there who are willing to be upfront with you than beating around the bush.

My Mac N' Cheese is on POINT:
YOU KNOW WHAT?! (Vancome Lady voice): Reheating what mommy made in microwaving is NOT cooking. I don’t care how damn good you can make a Hot Pocket or some scrambled eggs, that sh*t ain't cooking! Do it LOOK like I want a Hungry Man dinner? The answer to that is HELL NO! If you can Youtube old music videos and how to braid, you can Youtube how to cook some pasta or how to marinate a steak and cook it with some veggies, just saying.

Tuuh, You See Me Tho! Why I Gotta Hate?!:
YOU KNOW WHAT?! (Vancome Lady voice): You are jealous. Whenever your homegirl wears a new outfit out to the club and all the dudes give her the attention you were expecting to get because you thought those skin tight jeans were gonna get you guys in VIP and the plan fails, it gets ugly…whale sex. “Tanya hoe ass got her ass all out, drinkin up all they Ciroc, thinkin she cute! That’s why her weave is rented.” That right there is hate mama. Whenever the next chick is doin good, some females have the tendency to throw shade, instead of complimenting the next chick. Hatin in the female community is at an all time high, sheesh.

The Only Thing I Put in My Mouth Is FOOD!:
YOU KNOW WHAT?! (Vancome Lady voice): I just think you don’t want me to believe that you’re a slut, because I don’t…at least not right off the back. MOST females are nervous about a guy’s reaction when he asks, “so, do you (radio edit)?” and she says, “Yes.” You’re cautious of what to reveal, so when you say no, thinking all will be well and you finally do decide to do it…he’s moaning outwardly but inwardly he’s thinking, “this lyin HEFFA!” There’s no need to lie about this, especially when it’s not that big of a deal. YEAH, as guys we act like 2 dogs who are just meeting each other for the first time when you state you’re a “brain educator”. YEAH, I like ketchup on my damn eggs in the morning with a side of wheat toast topped with fruit and cottage cheese. YEAH, you lying about giving head it’s a big damn deal. But I get why; it’s a personal act that you hold sacred and you want us to believe that you don’t do it to everyone who whips out the turkey neck & dumplings to you (penis & testicles). If I lied about my penis size…I’m almost certain you’d feel some kinda way…so lets just be upfront about things, we’re all adults here, for the most part.

You The Best I Ever Haaad (Drake voice):

YOU KNOW WHAT? (Vancome Lady voice): Outwardly you’re saying: “I’m the best you ever had, best you ever had” (in your Drake voice) BUT inwardly you’re saying, “cause hon-estly you turned out to be theee..best thing I ne-ver hadddd!" (in your Bey voice). This lie pairs with the one above. When chicks are committed to a dude, they focus on him, often believing, time and time and time again, that he’s “the one.” Because girls have this tendency, they also tell guys whatever they think they want to hear, just to make them feel good about themselves. Honestly speakin ladies, how many of you done told these guys, “zammnnn zaddy, you put it on me!!” and then ran to the bathroom and called Keisha like “girrlll, I need you to come over here crying like Quan beat you up so this dude can leave…DAMN he was wack!” TONS of you! Here’s the thing (Kevin Hart voice): sex lies, are a dime a dozen. Do these lies sound familiar ladies; “I came with you,” “I’ve slept with 5 guys,” and “yeaa, you made me cum.” Ok, you didn’t cum w/ me cause I came 4 mins ago, you didn’t sleep with 5, it’s more like 9 ½, and I didn’t make you cum, I seen you rollin your eyes as you were sayin that. Honestly, take what she tells you with a grain of salt. You shouldn’t be asking her to rate her sexual experiences, period. It’s tacky my dude, but that doesn’t mean that it’s ok to lie either ladies. Do what I do, if you know she’s lying, laugh and be like…”oh yeah?!?!” (mad sarcastically).

What to take from this:

DO NOT lie! That's that! I mean, I know some guys are thirsty, but just tell him the truth, it's when you lie and we find out...we go in! Yes, some dudes act like women when it comes to hearing the truth, but that doesn't mean you should go left instead of going RIGHT...then you might crash into a tree. Like I've said before: women lie more than men and get away with it because dudes don't have that skill trait that women have, it's like they're built for lying.

Ladies, do you often tell lies to spae his/her feelings? What are some other lies women tell? Let a brotha know!  oh yea, there's a part 2 to this, so stay tuned!

*class dismissed*