Love Thy Queen

I'm not perfect. I will never, ever claim to be perfect. I don't claim to know it all; I just claim to know what I know and speak on that. I'm not speaking on, How To Maintain Your Marriage After Year 5 because I've never been married. If you see me write about it, you better believe I have experience with what is being said! I think it's important to say all of this because it allows you, as the reader, to have a very clear understanding of WHY I go so hard, in the manner that I do:

WE NEED TO HAVE MORE HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS THAT TRANSITION INTO RELATIONSHIPS, THAT CONTINUE TO BUILD UPON THAT EXISTING FRIENDSHIP! Period!

I digress

I've been in countless relationships where I've fuc*** up. Yes, I am man enough to admit that without hesitation: I've fu**** up in every single one of my relationships! I'm not saying I'm the reason we've ended...I'm just admitting to you, as the reader, that Renaissance Brotha (not Man) has done some shit in his past relationships, that he...I, am not happy/proud about. Now, with that being said I can also admit that, there have been tons of things I have done right! I mean, no one stays with someone for years just because the d*** is that good, I mean, I would hope not but, yea...that wasn't the case because my D ain't s***!

I digress, again

Sometimes, we get caught up in trying to take care of the weeds so much, that we forget to smell and enjoy the roses.

"Renaissance Brotha!"

"Yes, you over there"

"Well, what do you mean by that?"

*class is in session*

Sometimes, we get caught up in trying to take care of the weeds so much, that we forget to smell and enjoy the roses. I'm saying it again because I want you to fully understand what I'm saying and WHY I'm saying it but, we shall touch on that later.

From social networks, the media, your mother, your grandmother, your best friend whose been single since who knows when, to magazine articles, all these different things/persons will advise ladies on how they should treat and care for and love a man. Some of them make valid points but right now, here today, I wanna speak on the opposite: how fellas should treat their queen/woman.

Yes...how we should treat our queen/woman!

This isn't just for the men within the Black community, this is speaking to men of all races, color, creeds, religions, gangs, socioeconomic status, so on and so forth. So pay attention to message and suspend the personal judgement you may have, for the messenger.

Love thy QUEEN

I'm here to tell you that if a woman tells you that words don't mean a thing...then why do they love compliments so damn much!? YES, actions speak louder than words but words play a major part in how we view those actions. Compliment her! Tell her she looks good. Tell her you appreciate her all that she does. Tell her thank you, for the sh*t she does, for YOU! Show her you appreciate her! Ok, I'm not saying do the following every damn week or month or every few months but, try it, at least once (depending on the length of your relationship)

Have her call her out of work and pamper her, the entire, daaay! I'm talking about from morning to night, you plan an entire day dedicated to her and not another soul. Hell, if you even wanna give her the money from the time she missed at work, do it!

I say that because we have to find new ways of maintaining the relationship we have with our partner. You wanna do things that are comfortable with you but also that she'll appreciate as well. A foot rub won't kill ya. A full body massage won't kill ya. Head on the side of the highway won't kill ya...unless the cops spot you guys, then...you know...they might might kill ya. The point of me saying all of this, is to love her in a way that works best for Y-O-U! Be patient with her. Sometimes things won't materialize at a pace of your liking...and that's ok. Just know that: if it's meant to happen, it's meant to happen; there's never a need to rush things within your relationship, especially because it's a never ending building process. Also, don't sit there and throw in her face all the things you do/did for her- she knows what you do/did, she was/is present for it! I had made the mistake of saying, "well you should be happy I cook for you...it's not like any other dude you had did!" And for that, I was deadass wrong. From that I learned; we do things (at least in my opinion) out the kindness of our heart because we love our partners. We have to get back to loving our women, with a pure heart.

Love Thyself, For Your Queen

I know a lot of women that let themselves gooooooo, once they get into a relationship! Like: stop eating good, do whatever with their hair/make-up, say f*** the gym, and all the rest of that sh** but I also know, a lot of dudes who do the same! Some of ya'll don't clean up your place, won't clean out the car, don't get a haircut as often, don't groom "downstairs", dodge the gym, and so on and so forth. Fellas- don't do that. I don't know which OG told you, sh** like that was cool but your lady...she ain't got time for it! Have some pride in how you look!!! We as men, pride ourselves on how our women should look like this or that but never go look in the mirror and hold ourselves to such a high standard. I myself will always admit, that I'm not the tallest, I'm not the funniest, I don't have a bunch of abs, I'm not the smartest and that may be the same for you as well. What works for me is that I know who I am and I will never, ever, ever, everrrrrr let a soul get a chance to tell me anything different! We as men have to hold ourselves to some kinda fu***** standard; it is ok to have standards, fellas. Insecurities and pride are two of the BIGGEST contributing factors, as to why men can't/don't maintain healthy relationships. I don't need statistics from USA Today or some Harvard University scientist to back me up here. If you sit and talk to a man long enough, what you will get is typically the same thing,

"I didn't feel like doing x y z"

"I just couldn't trust her blah blah blah"

"I didn't feel like I was the right man yada yada"

The above examples all speak to who a man is on the inside! Men: deal with them insecurities and put that pride to the side for a better YOU! And don't rebuttal me with that bullsh**, "it's easier said than done" because we are creatures of action- less excuses and more moves!

Feed, Thy Queen

Cook for her. I'm not just saying that because I love to cook, I'm saying that because men like me who DO cook, will offer her a plate of some shit that will have her second guessing why she's even with your ass! I kid, slightly. We as men know LeBron's stats from his rookie year but can't take the time to read a f***ing recipe!? Geeeeeet outta here! 

You might laugh at the above but at least it shows the person tried. I learned to cook because I loved women and because of Dr. Seuss. Green Eggs and Ham is my favorite book (of all time) and I figured, well, if I learn how to cook some creative sh** like that, maybe, just maybe, the ladies will love me! 

Eventually they did. All I'm saying is that, it won't hurt to cook her up a meal. Not every day or every other day but maybe once a week. You don't have to be a damn chef, but cooking her a meal or even helping her, hell, maybe just doing it TOGETHER, shows you at least give a damn! Women (hand clap) love (hand clap) to eat (hand clap, hand clap)! It won't kill you to cook for your queen.

Sex, Thy Queen

(If you're celibate or don't believe in sex before marriage, then skip this one)

I'm not even gonna sugar coat this one or pu***foot: be on point. Women enjoy sex just as much as men, if not, moreeee- not up for a debate and I ain't got the statistics for this one either. You gotta know what you're doing even before you get her in the bed. Sexting works. Send her some sexy ass pictures. A di** pic or some provocative sh** like that aren't only reserved for women. Verbally stimulating her throughout the day works too:

"You know I wanna see you throw that ass back on this d*** in them heels you wore 3 Fridays go, right?!"

"I can't wait to slide my tongue all the way inside of you later...so how's your day?"

You say things like that because mentally, it helps her prepare for what's to come later. Also, don't forget foreplay! Don't just stimulate her mind...stimulate her body, man (Smokey from Friday voice)! Yes, some women just want you to slide inside and do what it do but...some women enjoy the art of seduction. Get some ice cream, some fruit, hell, if you don't wanna do all that, just plant some kisses all over. Start from the neck and work your way down and once you get in between her thighs- eat her. If you're not eating the pu*** in 2015...you're...you're corny. Sex isn't the end all be all but for those who have it and enjoy it, it is important and I will not sit here and tell you otherwise. Go read, "Make It Nasty," ... just cause.

Maintain Le Fire With, Thy Queen

I'm not gonna write a bunch of sh** for this one because there's an entire blog dedicated to this very point on the site that you should go read, if you haven't done so already. Go read, "Maintaining The Romance," AFTER you read this tho. Proceed on.

Converse, With Thy Queen

I saved this one for last because this one is EXTREMELY important- communicate with your queen. I look back on all my relationships and it hurts to know that part of the reasons why we didn't work is because communication sucked elephant d***. I look back on potential partners and it hurts because the communication sucked dolphin d***. I look back on friendships that didn't work or are now estranged and it hurts because the communication sucked whale nuts. We as men have to get to a place where we communicate better. This "fallback" craze is stupid! No one is Charles Xavier from the X-Men, no one is Ms. Cleo, no one is a fu**ing mind reader, so if you aren't expressing how you feel, verbally...how can things get better!? The goal is to work through and...wait for it...get though, motherf***a! The excuse that, men don't communicate well, blah blah is tired and old and ladies I'm telling you to not accept it because if you accept it for 6 months...you'll accept that sh** for 6 years! I've said this before and I will say it again: if you can communicate to her how you want her to suck your d*** then you can communicate to her how you want to be loved and all the things you have an issue with! If she pushes you away...if she turns it around and ignores what you're saying makes it about her...that sh** will continue to happen and she ain't the one for you, bruh. I don't care if she sucks the soul from your d*** and lets you f*** her best friend with the fat ass and natural hair- if her communication skills suck, step away. Communication is so key, it's so crucial, it's so fu**ing necessary! Talk to your lady. Talk with your lady. It's healthy. It won't hurt you to ask how her day was. It won't hurt you to tell her that you've been hurt before. It won't hurt you to say, "hey, I made plans for us to go see x y z and afterwards we're doing a b c...don't make other plans." It won't hurt! I'm not telling you to spill your guts. I'm telling you to....I'm suggesting you learn how to communicate better, not just for yourself but for the betterment of ya'll, as a couple. 

"You really feel like that tho?"

"Yes, yes I do!"

We gotta know when to check our fellow men, for the fu** shit they do. You might call it hatin or blocking but real men call it...wait for it...accounta-fu**in-bility! Now, the way Meek did it to Drake...wasn't cool. Doing s*** like that, behind the scenes, is completely ok. Checking other men needs to happen more because the more the fu** slides...lol...wait for it...the more these women go get women and build happy ass homes with. Not saying that's a bad thing but if @...never mind. Sometimes, we get caught up in trying to take care of the weeds so much, that we forget to smell and enjoy the roses. When you think about the analogy of women being like flowers and men being like weeds...things being to be put into a better perspective. So often, we are told to focus on the weeds (men) that we forget that even after the weeds are taken care of...the flowers (women) get neglected. We gotta stop neglecting the flowers. We have  to learn how to love our women better because now, more than ever, it is important! It is fu**ing vital! We all want better and all that jazz but wanting better will always start with self, before anyone else. I know I said this was for all kinds of men but Black men...BLACK MEN...we gotta do better! I'm not saying this to make my vagina rate go up because I can care less about how women look at me and the ones that wanna hand off the pu*** to me like Russell Wilson to Marshawn Lynch. I'm saying this because I wholeheartedly mean the sh**! Black women are leaving Black men alone because 1) we don't get the basics 2) we don't wanna do the basics 3) we're disrespectful 4) we're womanizers and so on and so forth and it is counterproductive when building a kingdom fit, for a king and queen. If you take in all of what I'm saying, she won't have time for another man. This isn't some blueprint on how to keep your partner from cheating because we should trust our partner enough to believe that they won't cheat but this to help enhance the friendship/relationship we have already in place. If you keep your partner feed mentally, spiritually, sexually, and so on and so forth...you will never have to worry about if your love is enough fellows...her actions will show it- love thy queen!

*class is dismissed*

@Renaissance_Brotha_

B.A.D.

*cracks neck*

I know what you're thinking, "what does B.A.D. mean!?"
Well, B.A.D. = bitch ass dude(s)

That's right: B**** ASS DUDES!

Now if you already knew that, kudos to you and if you didn't, you just learned something new; and learning is only HALF the battle...
but oh how I wish I could say that about some of you dudes out there!

In 2013, some of you dudes STILL ain't winning, but you want us to believe that you are? Get ALLLL the way the f*** outta here with that; ain't nobody got time fa dat! I've lost respect for you dudes, why? Because you've become just like the women you often talk about, (re)tweet about, slander on FB, and make sub post about on Instagram. Gossiping and spreading rumors?!?! That's what females do! S*** like that is never cool! I Hope this entire blog gets texted/emailed/retweeted/reposted to you!

(peep how I just flowed there)

But I digress,

But on a serious note, it's gotten to the point where women have come to me and begged me to write a blog on the fact that: at times, their man makes them feel like they're in a "same sex" relationship/marriage. The behavior a lot of you "so called men" display has gotten to a point where women are saying, "enough is enough already...MAN UP!" This goes for Blacks, Asians, Latinos, Middle Eastern, Whites, Jews, Christians, Catholics, Muslims, Atheist, fat, skinny, tall, short, old, young, middle aged, educated, stupid, from the dude with a career, to the dude who sells weed and works at Rite Aid: ALL OF YOU NEED TO STEP IT THE F*** UP! If it sounds like I'm being too critical, good. If it sounds like I'm judging, good, glad we're on the same page. A lot of you dudes don't know better, so you can't do better, because you haven't learned better, because no one has taken the time to properly SHOW you just what better IS! I don't speak for all men, let's get that clear. I'm not speaking up for all the women of the world, let's make that clear as well. This comes from a place of self realization and what I've realized as I've gotten older: I ain't shit and we NEED to do better...so peep the piece I'm presenting.
*class is in session*

I don't blog to bash, I blog to help and offer a different perspective from a man who has been thru some s*** in his life. What we as men need to know and thoroughly realize, is that as we get older, we need to DO better. The ways of when we we're younger, shouldn't be continued in our mid 20s and older. One of the things I love about my circle of male friends is that, we hold each other accountable for our words and actions. What that means is: if someone is f***in up in the group, you better believe it'll be brought to your attention. Nobody is going to make a subliminal diss song, no talking behind each other's back, no silent treatment, none of that; straight up and down man to man convo. In blackand white: if you have an issue, you bring it to THAT person; not his mama, sister, brother, uncle, GF (BF if he swings that way), aunt, grandmama, Twitter. Instagram, FB, his dentist, doctor...you get the point. Now that same mindset, this should be applied to friendships that transition into relationships and relationships that transition into marriages between male & females but...that'll be discussed in my book coming out next year.

Fellas...stop the gossiping, pillow talking, dry snitching, cockblockin, subliminal messages:

It's gotten to the point where men call other men up or text or whatever and have full blown discussions about what OTHER men are doing: WTF!? Unless you on some, "we bout to move out on these n****s," type sh*t, talking about another man should never and I mean never be discussed in such a hateful/disrespect manner (unless y'all got beef). Another bad habit some of you dudes got, is that you suffer from "faucet mouth":

"Nah, the f*** wit him, he no good for you! You still f***in with J from your job? You know he f***in Michelle right?"
or
"Yea, I know Robbie: he the dude who got the baby mother who live in New Jersey, that he f*** every other week when he not f***in you. He corny! How you drop outta school and start credit card scamming?! Oh...you ain't know that? Yea, he lame."

...once your mouth gets turned on, you keep goin and goin and goin and goin. That's dry snitchin and where I'm from, dry snitchin isn't something grown men take lightly. After sex, don't lay around and talk her head off about why she shouldn't give another dude a chance you don't even know ESPECIALLY when she put up with your wack sex ass; get some juice, stretch, and prepare for round 2! Also, stop with the cockblockin! If you can't get p**** in a Earth this big, you worthless kid, and you don't deserve to live (joking, but not really).

Fellas...know when to displace your feelings and emotions:

Instagram, Twitter, FB are NOT your damn diaries! Being too sensitive is a sign of weakness. I'm not saying you can't express how you feel, but there's a time and a place for all of that and on social networks...it's not the place nor the time (in my opinion). You think women are looking at what you post like, "awww, he's so sweet, bendito"? No! They're looking at you like, "if this dude don't man up with his b**** ass!" No woman wants to be with a man who is more feminine than she is, period point blank. You get on Instagram and post some sh*t about how "all women aint sh*t but hoes," nahhh cat daddy, all YOUR women ain't sh*t but hoes! What you don't see by doing that is- women who begin to come to the conclusion like, "damn, why he so sensitive? All because I didn't answer his comment back or give him my number?" That right there, is something that's discussed every & any where, with all her friends, and if you think she's not screenshottin ya sh*t and talking about it with her homegirls...hahaha, wooo!

Fellas...stop with hate:

Listen and listen good: there's a difference between being hated on and being disliked. Being hated on...well, if you're familiar with the movie Belly, the part where Nas & DMX are riding thru the neighborhood and ol' boy is eating a banana and says, "Might have to drop a dime on them n****s...I don't like that sh*t...I don't like that sh*t." THAT, that's hate! Being disliked is when I actually know yo monkey ass and you've done sh*t to make me wanna put you in a headlock and toss you head first in a kiddie pool filled with crabs and roaches. You will never see a dude who is educated, hate on another man, why? Because he's too focused on progressing. What you WILL see, is a dude who ain't about sh*t, because he ain't amount to shit, so, he's mad at the fact that you're successful. "He think he fly cause he got them Js on...everybody got them Js!" (but he don't got them) or "that n**** ain't ballin like Meek Mill or Fabolous tho...that's why he pushin that 03 Benz still!" (he taking the bus and train with me every damn day). How you mad at the next man for creating and taking opportunities to better himself tho? And speaking of bettering...

Fellas...stop with the "crab in the bucket" sh*t:

Now if you're unfamiliar with what that means, allow me to explain: if you put some crabs in a bucket, you never have to worry about any escaping because if one looks like he's going to climb out...the others will grab its leg and pull his lil ambitious ass back in! I personally hate the fact that as a man, another man can't be successful without another man trying to pull that man down in some form or fashion. This applies for any race, color, creed, and religion too. I'm not saying you have to be "happy go lucky" for the next man, but there's already added outside pressure on him from other races and women on TOP of the hate you dishin out!

"So if I hang with dudes who ain't about nothin, I ain't nothin too?" - student in the back, far left

In a sense, yes. If you surround yourself with individuals who aren't about progression, you will succumb to that, guaranteed! Dudes have this bad habit of hatin on their own friends instead of celebrating their success and get mad when that friend begins to move away from him. All hate is: someone who admires whatever is that you do (what you're about) and can't duplicate that for themselves. There's this song by Common - "Black, Maybe" listen to it.

Fellas...stop purposely fucking up in relationships:

I will admit: I am part to blame for why I am not in a relationship today. It takes a man to admit his wrong doings and own up to them and seek forgiveness...but straight up and down: you're a bitch if you sabotage your relationship and then put all the blame on your woman like you ain't have a hand in why ya'll ended. You can't expect her to stay faithful, if you're cheating. You can't expect her to stay quite, when all you do is yell. You can't expect her to stay, if you're verbally and/or physically abusive. I was raised without a mother, so at times, I say my pops do some wrong shit and guess what? I grew up to do the same sh*t! We learn from our father's actions and words or the lack thereof. We learn indirectly or directly on how a woman is suppose to be treated. Yes, a woman can raise a man but...it takes a man to show a boy HOW a man is suppose to conduct himself. If you as a man get into a relationship and you know you're gonna want more than one chick to sleep with, stay single. If you know you're not ready to commit, let her know that, don't string her along. The problem isn't that she's crazy (although some of y'all are)...it's us as men doing sh*t to drive her crazy and get mad when she flips the f*** out! All women aren't the same; Cynthia isn't a loud mouth and a bitter b**** like Brandy is and Brandy isn't insecure and heartless, like Cynthia. The more you hurt her, the more conditioned she becomes in believing that men ain't s*** and that Shakira looks more and more attractive each day. You might not wanna hear this fellas but: how you gon look your daughter in the eyes when lil Leo hurt her heart the same way you did her mother... something to consider. Relationships can not and will never be able to stand the test of times, if the foundation is built on lies. I know gettin sex is cool and all but at what point do we look in ourselves and say, "you know what, I think I wanna settle down with Brandy, and build with her!"?

Fellas...we need to do B-E-T-T-E-R!

Dr. MLK Jr. had a dream...y'all dumb-d***heads turned it into a damn nightmare! I'm saying this to challenge you to do better, hell, to want better! F***in them same girls/women/bitches who ain't about sh*t will grow tired and then what? "Ima go stay with moms and stack money?!" Nahhh, because moms enjoys walking around the house, ass naked, watching Golden Girls, while ya pops massages her down in lotion...or, my lil ass will be over there watching bootleg movies, eating up all the chips n' dip! The reality is that as we get older, women look to younger dudes who have promise and potential, not dudes around her age who still lookin to have sex with her and her best friend or who haven't figured out what it is that they want to make of themselves. I'm 26, and I've figured out that at the end of the day, when it's all said and done; ima want someone to watch Golden Girls with and eat apple pie. The problem with us men is that there isn't enough male accountability. Holding each other accountable for our actions, needs to happen more. I'm not saying tattle-tale on your homie, I'm saying bring the man to the side or have an intervention with him because what you don't want is

...your homie eating all your food, drinkin up all the juice, not flushing the toilet, leaving dishes in yo sink, asking you for money, while living on your couch.

Education is key fellas and not just book knowledge: knowledge of self. Be the kind of man that you would want your daughter to date and marry. Blame Kendrick Lamar for this! This was long overdue fellas and real sh*t, I'm here as a man telling...there's more to life than Jordans, side chicks, drugs, and all that crazy stuff. I still have ways to go but, at least I'm on the road...are you? Let's build our kingdoms and become KINGS...leave that peasant life alone.

@renaissance_brotha_

He's Not That Into You, Respect The Curve

Me: So, when we chillen again?
Her: I gotta get back to you. I got a busy work week coming up and I don't wanna plan something and something come up, you know.
Me: But isn't your schedule set?
Her: Yea, and?
Me: And, if your schedule is set, and you know what time you get off everyday, how could something that WE plan, together, get rescheduled?
Her: I mean, I'm just keeping my options open. I loved our first date and I would like to see you but I...
Me: But you're swerving me? Be honest.
Her: Those are your words, not mine. I would like to see you again...I just don't know when Sha...
Me: Don't even have to finish that...I'll be in touch.

Was I upset or anything like that? No. I wholeheartedly respect anybody that can keep it 100% with me at ALL TIMES! In this particular case, I saw it coming and once I began to hear another man's name come out, I knew what it was.I was being swerved. I've been swerved more than the Yankees has championships! I can handle rejectionI've learned to handle rejection as I got older and what rejection does is this:

1) keep you down and discourage you from trying again or
2) it can make you look at what might have went wrong, work on that, and approach the next situation, differently.

Now on the flip side...I've swerved more women than the Knicks have championships (they have 2, I've swerved 4 to be exact). Sometimes, women miss the signs that are in front of them because often times, those signs aren't so clear. Other times, they're clearer than a MOTHERF****!!! This piece doesn't come from a place of malice or hurt or any of that (no-no). I'm not using this platform of mine to talk down on the opposite sex or belittle them any (no-no). I'm using this platform of mine to help the women of the world (ok, the ones who frequent my blog) to get a better understanding of what it means when a guy is JUST not that into them as they are lead to believe.

*class is in session*

I know what you're thinking, "what in the HELL does swerve mean?" Well, according to urbandictionary.com, "swerve" is often used to imply dodging someone.

Example:
Brandon: Yo, y'all wait for me! I wanna go to lunch with y'all.
Maria: You really gon wait for him?
Jon Jon: Nah, I'm bout to swerve him and tell him we bout to go Subway!

I digress...

No female wants to be swerved! Y'all will do everything in yall powers to swerve a dude before he swerves you, why? Because (some) women don't know HOW to deal with rejection in a rational manner and will allow it to harbor for a long period of time and so on and so forth. On the other hand...a lot of y'all aren't reading the warning signs placed in front of you! There's this thing called...*thinking to self*...oh, I got it...it's called A HINT! Remember when you were younger and you would play a game and somebody didn't wanna give you a DIRECT response/answer and they would give you a hint? Well, men do the same thing, but we do it in different ways and the following will help you to be able to better identify...

If hints were horse sh*t, you'd be Miley Cirus twerkin all in it! Sure, certain signs aren't that easy to recognize like a guy not calling and texting you if he’s not interested, because men who do that will still entertain you in different ways. "Yo, you really need to stop hittin me up, I'm not feeling you like that," usually gets translated into some sorta bs mixed signal. Sure, he might be thinkin, "damn, you're personality is boring as sh*t but you got some good ass p****...I'll hit you when I need some of those back shots," but what gets said is..."oh yea, oh yea, I enjoyed it too...I can't wait to see you again babe (insert smiley emoji)." Most dudes are gonna curtail what they REALLY wanna say because honestly, things flow better that way, so, he'll keep texting and what not, even tho he's not that interested. Dudes will fake interest in an effort to spare feelings. It’s ironic, by refusing to be rude and leading women on, we create this fake reality which not only wastes her time, but ends up scarring her worse than that initial rejection would have. You think Mike is being nice when he tells you he's busy Monday-Friday to grab something to eat but FINDS time to talk and text with you a majority of the day...hmmm, something smells fishy. You think he doesn't want to get into a relationship with you because he told you over and over...and over, how his last GF did him wrong but he finds time to get into your panties and doesn't look to be in a relationship with you anytime soon...hmmm, something smells fishy. He can tell you the grass is blue and the sky is green and explain the SH*T outta why it is but because you're so caught up, you can't see what dude is doing! Dude ain't busy, he's not incomplete like Sisqo was, you're not his type, and he's not into you like that. He's still a boy, dressed up like a man...give that man an Emmy!

That man performs like Denzel and TALKS pretty damn smooth...but the two of y'all never talk about sh*t! While looks may draw you to each other, one conversation can be the difference between turning someone on and turning someone off. There are girls who assume that because a guy asked for her phone number that he’s interested, that’s half true. He was interested initially, but that doesn't mean you are going to automatically keep his attention. You could be great the first few weeks and then, you fall flat. You know what it's like meeting a new chick? Like Tyrone Biggums taking a hit of CRACK! We as men act like Rick Ross at an all you can eat buffet when we meet a new chick! If you're not doing your job and we've been on a few dates and things are just blah and we meet someone new...8/10 you're getting swerved hun. You think those basic ass convos y'all have mean something? Nah. Think about all of what yall talk about. Now I want you to think about how much of that is VALUABLE info....calculate that...*add the 1*...if you guys spend 1 1/2 hours or more on the phone and only 20-sumthin mins of it is useful info, that's something to think about. The contents of your conversation will reveal all if you’re willing to take your head out of your ass, stop smiling, and actually pay attention. When a dude is young, all he has is his convo, why? Because he's not allowed to do much BESIDES talk and get to know you & plus, it's bs convo. An older man ain't got time to be spending on the phone, talking about basic issues like y'all did in HS. There’s a difference between a man who asks how your day was and means it, and one who is just trying to get brownie points. If he really cares he will ask deeper questions: is your co-worker still getting on your nerves? How's so&so doing? Hell, if he kicks you off the phone because he knows you have school work to do, *ding ding ding*. A man who is interested will be invested. If you’re a grown woman and your “friend” only wants to talk about sending nudes, when you’re coming over, or always playing video games or watching t.v., not paying you no-neva-mind, then he’s not invested in your life, he’s invested in his life. Stop the HS sh*t and grow up.

"But the guy I'm with took me out already and we're friends on social networks!" - student sitting in the middle.

I'm glad you said that because that brings me to my next point: a date or two and following each other on social networks means sh*t these days! You think ima let you tag me in your pics when we go out on a date? Nah. B****, crop me out the photo and say you're out with "him"...b****es like "him. Now, just because we talk a lot via DM, FBM, etc means nothing! How the hell can I tell if you're being nice or sarcastic via a convo thru your inbox? I can't, unless you state it. Guys are a lot more thirsty, which is easy to pick up on but ladies, it's done differently. Just because he entertains you on these networks, doesn't necessarily mean he's feeling you. Honesty is brutal, but it’s also the most decent thing a person can practice. Dudes who are interested, will ask you for your number and continue it offline, and as the two of you have built up enough familiarity, he might even ask you on a date. Now I know a lot of you ladies will shake ya heads at this but if a guy likes you, he will try to have sex with you early. We might get rejected but a man likes a challenge.  This is done...well, I won't say why it's done. Guys who aren't really interested may still try to hit, but it’s a half-ass attempt because she’s not worthy of his "LeBron in the Playoffs type game." You got him to take you to the place that has great margaritas and mediocre steak, round of applause. But what did you learn on that date? I'll answer: sh*t. He wasn't that interested so he allowed you to pick the place and lies to you when he said, "oh yea, I had a good time, when ima see you again?" Probably never because you ain't let him hit it, you ordered mad sh*t and only ate a quarter of it, talked about how North West is a dumb name for a child, how your professor is always late, and...you ended the date with a messily ass church hug, you're lucky if you get a text! It's not all about sex, but, if you're not f***king by date two, considered yourself canceled.

If a man likes you, he will do any and every thing it is in his powers to see you, point blank. If he rearranges his schedule just to fit you in, that's a clear sign he wants to see you especially if he plans the damn date. If he gives you some sh*t like, "I can't do it, I tol my cousin I'd wait on line with him for them new Js," or some s*** like, "I don't wanna stay out too late because I have work at 1...pm," clearly that's a sign he's not into you. No man makes excuses not to see a woman he likes, but he will create a laundry list to avoid the women he doesn't like. Open your f***ing eyes, if he was down for you, he would be around you. Where’s that "him" you’re refusing to talk to other guys for? Where’s that "him" you've been making subtweets/post about? Where’s the "him" that you’re thinking about right now? He’s where he wants to be, and clearly that isn't with you. Talk is cheap...and so is the leather quality on the Jordans he wears while he's out with the chick he's REALLY interested in! If you think you're too "all that" to not get curved...consider the last guy you've talked to and it didn't go accordingly...I'll wait...

Stop ignoring the signs and making excuses! If a guy is not that into, he's simply not that into you. Fellas, stop leading this women on as well. Not only are you f***ing yourselves up but you're damaging her as well! Insecurities don't just come from family, friends, and life experiences, they come from the relationships they have with men! At the end of the day tho, ladies

...you gotta respect the curve.

@renaissance_brotha_

Girl Code

So back in 2011 MTV thought of the great idea to bring the unwritten laws of man to T.V. and since then, this show has been a success! This show ladies and gentlemen...

is Guy Code.

Honestly, I was against the show because to me, how in the hell are you gonna expose some of the great things that bond US, as men, together regardless of race, age, color, creed, religion, or gang affiliation. So when it first started to come on, I watched, not too much impressed, but now, I watch it whenever it's on! And why? Because it's pretty damn accurate for the most part and...it's hilarious! Now the show doesn't explain all things regarding men but it does a pretty good job covering the basic things. In reality, there are certain things we just don’t do to one another (men) unless betrayed first. There's been PLENTY of times where a dude would hit me up and say, "aye bro, ummm, I've been talkin to so&so and we think that blog sh*t you're doin is cool, we f**k wit it but ummm...why you snitchin on us bruh!?" To me, I don't see it as snitchin, I mean, a lot of men snitch on themselves way more but, I digress. Today's class won't be about Guy Code, oh no, today we're gonna dicuss...Girl Code.

No, not the spin off show that MTV is doing of Guy Code...well, yea, it is like that, but just in blog form, and a lil more ratchet and funnier. I've learned over the years that there is no unwritten rule between women, which is why females constantly say, "I don't hang with b****es because they can't be trusted! That's why I hang with men more,"...righ-t! Here's what I've learned over the years: a female will betray another girl to gain favor with a man, how fucked up is that? My good friend tells me this all the time, "you know Ant, you're a good guy, because I don't see HOW you f***in befriend these chicks because on the real...females ain't s***!" You know how guys handle sitautions that are too much for words, they fight. Females on the other hand, are a lot more mean and vicious and won't stop till tears are messing with the makes-up, blood is drawn, and weave is missing. A man will see another man out and they could be beefin over he say-she say and they'll be at the club and they'll either

A) step outside, talk about it and if words don't work,
B) they'll fight

and once they fight, they'l go back to that friendship they had but better. A female could be in the same situation and throw shade the whole night and then two weeks later they'll be dancing to "Doo Doo Brown" together with dudes who are more than likely to follow them around the club the whole night, just as THIRSTY as they wanna be but then next week...won't be messin with each other.

So for those men/women who are uncertain of Girl Code, here you go

*class is in session*

"Girlll, I'm Goin Thru IT!":
Don't ever share your struggle with the next chick, not even ya mama! Ok, I'm joking about your mother, but seriously, don't share your problems with the next chick. “Girlll, let me tell you how bad sh*t is right now: I can't afford this weave, I can't get them heels, I can't keep a man because he don't want nothin to do with me or lil' Javoni. My check came up short and I had to borrow money from that big headed ass n**** A.J. and you know he said yes...but only if I gave him head." I don’t care if you have money issues, health issues, or relationship issues, don’t share your struggle with these chicks. You and Sherri might be cool this month, she may even give you good advice, but one day soon you will be beefing over something stupid and Sherri will tell Nicki n' dem: “You know she be sucking n****s dicks for money when her phone bill due?” or “They found a crabs all in her coochie? It came from fucking all those dirty dudes who be at the club” or “You know her Mother lost her job and be borrowing money from her, bet she on crack again!? Girlll, you know her mama like Keyshia Cole mama now!” Anything you tell your present bestie, know it can be used to slander once she becomes your future enemy. I’ve seen it happen dozens of times.

"Let Me Borrow Money Till Thursday So I Can Fill My Tank Girl":
I don't care if you're White, Black, Asian, Middle Eastern, Latino, or a damn alien...your homegirl will ALWAYS keep a running tab on the money she's lent you. If I pay for my boy to get in the club or buy him dinner, it’s not, “remember you owe me $37.50”that's just that. When a girl does another girl’s hair she’s counting how much grease she used, the oil sheen, and the electricity consumed while that b**** had the blow dryer running. You go out to the club; you can’t get a nigga to buy you that Patron & Pineapples that you need to back ya ass up? “Oh I got you girl” b**** please, best believe your homegirl just added that 9 dollars to her mental note pad. Next time you’re out and its time to pay for something, “ummm, but what about that $103 you owe me tho” The other girl will have no idea how she’s amassed this much debt, she thought her friend was helping her out. And don’t try and get out of paying unless you want to ruin your credit score, it goes Experian, Equifax, TransUnion, and Amber Washington. If you don’t pay up she will go to the sisterhood and ruin your credit with them by saying, “don’t let that b**** hold nuffin girl, she dead ass won't pay you back.” So if you’re on hard times, and need 20 dollars to get in the club, I suggest you make up an excuse as to why you can’t come out. When you put money between two females the friendship will not last.

"Terrance? Yea, His Pipe Game Is Good Girl!":
Females talk about sex, that's a given. I use to think it was cute to be talked about amongst females, "oh Ant, yea girl, he can do some-THANGS with his tongue and girlll, he..." you get the point but these woman today go IN. I once walked into a speaker phone conversation of a girl explaining how some guy’s dick wasn’t that long but it was wide, and how she prefers short thicker ones rather than long skinny ones, I had to walk out of the room because it grossed me out, yet that description stuck with me because it was so traumatizing to hear a girl talk like that. But for a woman it satisfies a curiosity, and plants seeds. If you tell your homegirl how good he is at eating pu$$y or that he went extra and ate your ass, she stores that in her head. You talk about his dick game being the best you’ve had, even the most loyal woman will store that data like a motherf***ing usb drive. You’re sisters, nothing will happen right? #Haaaaa! You told her he made you cum…this girl doesn’t even know what that feels like. Why wouldn’t she want conduct her own test? I’ve had it happen on a few different occasions where the friends of an ex gave me their number. This one girl was my ex’s super best friend, they were like blood sisters. I started talking to her on the phone and I’m like, “so yall don’t hang anymore?” this hoe had the nerve to say, “she was just over here, that’s what reminded me to call you”. I’m a man, I have no obligation to the ex not to f*** her friend, but her friend should have enough respect for her not to go there. I stopped talking to her because I knew what the end result would be between the two of them, but in retrospect I should have smashed and let them deal with it. Don’t kiss and tell.

Three Months:
I know she’s your friend, and you don’t want to end up as “that girl” who picked up the leftovers, but f*** that. If your friend dates a guy for three months or less, you have the right to sign him to a contract. Don’t ask permission because she’ll say, “I was thinking about getting back with him” just to keep you at bay. I suggest giving her a one month period after the breakup to pick up the option on the ex boyfriend. If she doesn’t get back with him in those 30 days or talk about going back to him, then you’re free to do your thing.

"Oooo, Girl, Where You Get That From?":
“That is FLY...where you get that from girl?" I hate hearing that s***. Every time I’m out with one of my homegirls, someone asks her some random question about a bracelet or a blouse. Why do you care? Why would you want to go buy something another girl has? I remember girls used to front back in the day, “I got this from (insert some famous spot)” for some reason when I was younger every girl would lie and say they brought clothes from (insert some famous spot) where in reality they brought it from Aero or Rainbow. Thanks to the internet you can get fly with clothing from Paris, Japan, or even some hand me down shit you found on Craigslist and no biting ass hoe can steal your swag as long as you delete your browser history. Where did you get that? Just say, “Craiglist”.

"Darren, That's My Bro Girl, You Better Keep Him, I Like Him":
A good man is hard to find, so use your three month rule. You know your homegirl has issues, she doesn’t know how to keep a man, and she’ll always go running back to her ex from four years ago. So why not do some pre-gaming of your own? Talk to her current boyfriend, see what he likes, if he’s cool, has a good job. Give him the flirt test to make sure he’s not a cheater. Your homegirl will fill you in on the sex stuff and there you have it, more info than eHarmony could ever give you. Who knows, he may be way more compatible with you than he was with her. By the end of their two month relationship, you can pretend to just find him on Facebook, and then proceed to ask, “so what have you been up to, buddy?”.

Fri-enemy:
You love her, you’ll do anything for her, she’s your motherf***ing girl— I understand. But do me this one favor, in the back of your head; know that any moment she can turn on you. Have you ever seen the Terminator sequels? The T2 has been reprogrammed to be John Connor’s friend and protect him. But Sarah Connor, being the wise woman that she is, warns her son, “He’s still a Machine”. John Connor loves the Terminator, but he has to be prepared for that son of a b**** to go Skynet on him. So while they laugh and say “Hasta La Vista Baby”, John is only seconds away from blowing his f***ing head off. That’s what it’s like to be a girl, you can trust your girlfriend all you want, but as soon as a new girl comes around, a cute guy comes into the picture, or a promotion is up for grabs, she will Terminate your ass using all the information you’ve given her over the years.

So in closing, women all across the world need to establish a set group of laws, so that the friendship can stay intact thru hell and high waters.

*class dismissed*

@renaissnace_brotha