S.I.N.G.L.E.

Me: being single is cool, like, I don't have to worry abo...
Friend: like what?
Me: cheating, the difference between being loyal and being faithful, ordering extra food because I know 1 in 3 women are greedy and will reach over to your plate and grab some of what you're eating, hair care products..
Friend: really Anthony...hair care products tho
Me: yup, I have a fear of my hair LeBron'ing
Friend: but I mean, do...
Me: don't get me wrong, I love having someone and building and all that but times have changed. the landscape of dating has changed soo much you know
Friend: you're picky...that's what that is
Me: nah b, I have standards, like, I told you this, my d*** has standards!
Friend: or maybe you're a d***, WITH standards
Me: you could be right...

Times, have changed. The way we date/court, have changed. Our perspective on relationships and marriages have changed...and not so much for the better. I guess, when you have "your sh*t together" and you're single, it tends to raise eyebrows especially since nowadays everybody is so guarded against any and every thing that may or may not happen or their "fall back game" is too strong.

For me, I get looked at funny or it's always some melo dramatic ass question-based-statement with a backhanded compliment that follows when I state that I'm single,

"omg, seriously, you're single? why!? you seem like the perfect catch, well, not perfect because you're short but you're handsome, but you get what I'm tryna say."

And because answering sarcastically usually renders THIS, as a response

So, being the gentleman that I am, I usually answer,

"Yup, I'm single, like a dollar bill in a stripper's ass!"

But seriously, who knows why I'm single...maybe I didn't forward enough chain letters, maybe it's because I was anti-veggies as a child...all that matters is that I'm completely open to the idea of building with someone who is ready and willing to do just that...

but are you?

*class is in session*

How many times have we settled for that person who showed the most interest at the time but later regretted the decision because he/she turned out like the last one? A lot of hands should be up right about now! We often ignore the red flags deal breakers, and nonnegotiables because those few months are so, blissful! After the "honeymoon" phase is over, all those things we ignored in the beginning start to annoy us more and more as the relationship begins to take shape. Well, I'm here to tell you that; I ain't wit the sh**, because...

I'd rather be single than be with someone who’s only interested in what I can do for them, instead of what we can do for each other...

Nowadays, people only give a f*** about themselves...ok, maybe that's always been the case, but if you're single, you're either:

A) looking for love
B) not interested (working on you...blah blah blah)
C) guarded because you've been hurt
D) still caught up over your ex
E) entertaining someone until someone better comes along/filling a void

...or maybe none of those apply to you but whatever your situation is: stay the f*** away from me if you're only interested in what I can bring to the table and/or what I already have at the table! It's cool to want somebody because they look good or like someone because they have money/own car/crib but what else interests you? That whole, "a bond is better than a title," bullsh** is aight but what good is forming a bond, if we aren't building into something greater? If we aren't building a friendship foundation that transitions into a relationship- I'm not interested. I'm not saying we have to be the best of friends because we'll develop into besties as the relationships progresses but man, I mean, at least let us be able to have some sort of connection first! Let's build, let's learn from each other/about each, let's form a real connection; f*** the, "we do take great pics together," or "my ex is playing games at the moment so let me entertain you till they get it together," type sh**! F*** do I care about getting into a meaningless ass relationship with you, if you're not about progression? I can give you the sun, moon, stars, and orgasms but, if you're more concerned with dinner dates that you can post on Instagram or trips where you can pop bottles, gifts, and turnin up, well...

I’d rather be single than settle down with someone who I couldn't see myself being faithful to...

On paper, they might sound like a good catch but the moment it's an one on one interaction...the energy...the vibe, just ain't there. Monogamy isn't natural. I feel people say and use that as an excuse to be unfaithful to people that they had no plans on being faithful to. I do feel however, when it comes to relationships:

• communication is key
• sex is a stress reliever
• trust is the foundation
• honesty is the glue

With that being said: if you know you're a person that likes to have sex with this one on Monday, your ex on Tuesday, a random on Thursday, or you're emotionally not over your ex or you're in no position to entertain someone (at the moment)- remain single. Temptation, is, a, motherf***a...I get it, but karma is a completely different motherf***a who you will have to deal with in some damn way, shape, or form! If you have to question yourself about whether or not being faithful is something you can commitment to being- don't put yourself in the situation. I don't wanna hear, "it's easier said than done," because that's nothing more than a phrase you've conditioned yourself into believing! I know the following is dumb but it is also rhetorical but: why would you wanna cheat on someone who you knew from jump, you didn't wanna be with...when you could literally, and I mean LITERALLY, have sex with damn near anybody you wanted to...while single...

I’d rather be single than get into a relationship that doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell, developing into something serious...

I'm not interested in wasting my TIME because it's too valuable. I'm not interested in wasting my ENERGY because I'm quite sure someone else will be more deserving and appreciate it. More importantly, I'm not about wasting my AFFECTION, on someone who shows me they're not even interested because if I fall for you and you do some corny s***...I'm getting you fired from your job and I'm hiring a homeless man to follow you every damn where you go who sings jingles; try me! I don't care how incredibly attractive you are or how solid your sex resume is because that does little for US in the long run! Let me know if you want a friends with benefits type relationship. Let me know if you just want someone who you can talk to and kick it with. Let (hand clap) me (hand clap) know (hand clap, hand clap)! Ice cream sounds good on a hot summer's day right? Well so does a relationship, for the hopeless romantic and for those who don't care sh*t about romance and just want a nut- it sounds like a burden. All I'm saying is: give me a say in the matter and don't lead me on and have me thinking one thing, when it's completely the opposite. At some point, all that fake interest is only gonna get you hurt in the long run (mentally and possibly physically) and I ain't got the time, energy, nor affection for the fake ssh**- that's the real TEA!

I’d rather be single than get serious with someone who lacks qualities like drive, ambition and compassion...

I just can't see myself building with someone who doesn't see more for themselves. At least Martin had a dream, some of y'all only have "get rich quick schemes" or you're waiting on your parents to die, so you can collect that life insurance money or you're waiting around for your dream career to knock at that damn door so you can be like...

...and ain't nobody got time for that biiihhhhh! I need to know that if you lost everything you had right now, do you have it in you to get it all back!? Now, of course if we're together, I'm gonna be there for you, but I wanna know do YOU, have it in you! I want someone who is attractive- I need someone who compliments me...and when I say "compliment, I don't mean someone that tells me I look good in a red cardigan because I know that already. I want someone who knows what it means to hustle- I need someone who has drive to get it by any means. Confidence is great, but ambition speaks from the very depth of who you are! Are you headed in the right direction? Do you have understanding of self...understanding of who I am...what we could be? Do you trust me to be the person I say I am/show you to be, hell, do you trust yourself? Are you willing to communicate your wants, needs, concerns, through all the ups and downs? Are you willing to be honest to not only me but to yourself? Well, if you find those things difficult, then I'm not the one for you.

I rather be single than deal with someone who isn't fully over their ex...

I know and you know that you aren't fully over your ex, I mean,


f**k outta here wit that bs! But seriously tho, if you still have any feelings left for your ex, then you and I can't be. How can you entertain a potential future with me, while you're ex is still very present? You're looking for me to help mend your broken heart but you're allowing this guy over here play battle ship with the pieces? In a way, now that I think about it...if you're fu**ing around with your ex and you fu**ing around with me...I mean, by default, I'm...I'm the side (BBM shocked face)! Now, I can pretend that I won't be hurt if you decided to let him eat your booty like groceries but even Maury knows what time it is...


I can take you to Paris, buy you diamonds, massage you from head to toe every other night, take you to see Nicki Minaj and Meek Mill in concert, I mean, hell, we can even role play and dress up like them and if you want...you can get your friend with the big breast and chubby stomach to dress up as Nicki's ex...ok, nevermind...

I can cook for you, d*** you down on reg, hell, I can even eat your booty like groceries, but if you're still involved with your ex, and I mean even in the slightest fashion...that's a game I won't even win, sh**, won't even place in. How can I have your heart, when ol boy still has the key to it?

Let that marinate...

I would love to wake up next to my queen every single day, for the rest of my life and tell her how her breath smells like police corruption and billy goat sh**. I want love. I want someone to call my own, just like I'm sure many of you want as well but these situationships, textships, and having a fallback game soooo strong isn't healthy...I don't care what you tell me- it ain't healthy! Do you really see yourself waking up to the smell of our cat's sh** coming from the bathroom? Do you really see yourself having brunch, every single Sunday after church by yourself? If you're not ready to commit to be in a relationship, don't waste anyone's time and definitely don't lead someone on because more than likely the end result won't end well. Get yourself together before you even consider having someone come into your life. Also, stop looking at what someone else is offering and make sure you can offer what it is that you're looking for and then some! F*** does it matter if that person can give you loyalty when you can't respect him/her. F*** does it matter if they're gonna be faithful while you're out and about cheating. F*** does it matter if they can see a future with you and you're still in the past, trying to piece together a relationship that went wrong. Remain, single, until, you're, completely, ready, to, invest! I mean,

sh**, I'm not gettin laid either!

Before I forget...

red flags...sh*t that makes your eyebrows raise, but you often times ignore
- example: when you ask a question, he/she usually answers "some" of it and says something like, "it don't mater babe, that was a long time ago..." and that sh*t matters like cops killing unarmed Black men!

dealbreakers...something you tend to bend on, but you know it aint/wont be cool later down the line.
- example: showing up late to dates...constantly.

nonnegotiables...sh** that ain't cool, and should be checked when it happens
- example: smoking...not weed, but cigs.


*class dismissed*

any comments, questions, concerns you may have...leave below or shoot me an email: brotharenaissance@gmail.com

@renaissance_brotha_

Back-SEAT, Windows UP

It's been a lil' minute since I've written a blog about sex, so, I figured, with summer coming to an end...let's talk about sex ba-by!

I love sex...especially in different places, example:
you go out on a nice date, you guys are conversing and you start kissing, "ooo gimmie that face, let me kiss it," all that silly sh*t and now she's like, "babeee, let's get back home already I'm wet!" Why wait to get home to make her touch her toes when you can hit an alley and throw her that di** that'll have her screaming louder than Meek Mill on a track (Free Meek)! I mean, if two dogs can enjoy a nice pasta dinner in an alley...you can serve her di** harder than Papa John's crust!

The point I'm making is; be spontaneous! Spice up that relationship/marriage! Sure, the cops are out here buggin or ya'll been bored the entire summer and yada yada yada but guess what? Sex cures all! Ok, I'm joking, but, having sex in different places is a better alternative than having sex in the living room; that's for sure.

I won't bore you any longer...

*class is in session*

"nah...pull over right there":

you ever got head while driving tho? im not talkin real fast, im talkin kinda slow...

BARS *Kevin Hart voice*

Whether it be oral or just plain ol' sweaty, hot, nasty sex in the car: sex in the car is a great thing! Some might argue that it brings bad luck upon the car, but how many of ya'll done had some form of sex in the car on Tuesday and two weeks later...the brakes gave out? Exactly, NEVER!

Ladies: rub on his penis while he's driving and just start talking crazy to him,

"say I won't put all that d*** in my mouth right now while you at the light!?"

or

"pull my d*** out babe...let me kiss it"

I guarantee YOU...he will whip his penis out faster than a chick with an EBT card at the supermarket from her Gucci bag!

Fellas: ya'll on the way home from a date, forget all that, "wait till I get you in the house" ish...handle her ass in the car!

"ah, babe...pull over right there...yea, right there...don't worry, don't worry"

or
"babe...babe...look...*rubbing penis ever so gently*"

That's right fellas, you or her should park up somewhere and climb in the backseat and get right into it! Fog them windows up! Have her ride you reverse cowgirl while you grip the back of her neck and whisper some nasty stuff in her ear! Give her backshots while she's grippin the dashboard, hell, have her lay out ON the dashboard and go ahead and get you a mouthful of her...you get the point. Just make sure you watch out for people and the cops...an orgasm one minute and Miranda Rights the next," don't mix!

public places:

You want an adrenaline rush? Have sex in a public place! Nothing says, "that was a great date," or "I love you" more than sex in the park! Forget all that, "oh babe, but, the bums sleep here," bs and sit her ass down that bench and treat right! Throw her legs in the air, lick on the clit and finger her at the same damn time! Not a fan of that bench? Have sex on the grass: missionary or let her ride you. Not cool with the park idea? Cool, hit a rooftop and enjoy the summer breeze and some sex your mother would be disappointed about you having! Hit a park...and enjoy natures first ever "sex swing". If you're up for a real challenge: hang from the monkey bars and have your partner give you oral and see how long you can last...whoever last longer...cooks dinner for a week! You ever had your woman's legs rested upon your shoulders while you suck on them lips!? Bruh! Just make sure you keep an eye out for the cops..."baby I'm cummin" one minute and "FREEZE," the next, don't mix!

"marco...marco...marco...G-SPOT!":

As kids, pools were always fun for playing basketball, seeing who could swim the fastest, hosting parties/BBQs, but as an adult...it's only good for skinny dippin' and having sex! Yup, you read right: s-e-x! If you don't have a pool of your own, that's cool, hit a public pool or drive to an area that might have one, you know, one those nice neighborhoods with the big driveways and green ass grass. Throw ambition to the wind and give him head under water! Not cool with that idea because you're afraid to get your hair wet: sit his ass on the edge of the pool, while you're still emerged and pretend his penis is a microphone and you're auditioning for America's Got Deep Throaters! Maybe you're not a fan of the pool idea, ok, cool...maybe a hot tub/Jacuzzi will work better. Have him sit down on the first few steps, straddle him, place your hands on his shoulders, and you ride him! Or, you lounge back and have him enter you and stroke you till his legs give out! Just make sure you keep an eye for the cops...looking back at your ass, as it makes waves one minute and "...do you guys live here?" while the cuffs dangle the next, don't mix.

give the neighbors a show:
I'm a huge fan of balcony sex because there's something about the freedom of knowing someone might be watching and allowing your partner to moan and scream as loud as they want; ahhh! Doggystyle while over looking a great view? Priceless! Whenever you go on vacation and your hotel or wherever you stay at has a balcony, I suggest sex happens. Receiving head while that annoying ass neighbor, that always keeps their blinds open, who decides to finally look over and takes notice to what you're doing? Priceless! Screaming so loud that you wake up the neighbors or your roommates (ha...sigh)? Priceless! Ladies...put on some heels and do a lil dance for him before you throw that ass back on him! Fellas...smack her ass, grip her by the waist, grab her by the shoulders and thrust harder, pull on her hair and play with her breast! The objection of balcony sex is to enjoy the view, be as loud as you want to while you're enjoying each other...not to be on some timid sh*t!  Just make sure you keep an ear out for the cops...your neighbors will call'em quick fast, because you re the one gettin ass.

"let me suck that d*** and see how many you can get done babe": 

I'm talking...sittin her on top of the counter and taking a step back, biting your bottom lip right before you place your face between her thighs. I'm talking...you giving him sloppy top (head, oral) while he's washing dishes and seeing how many he can wash before he cums. I'm talking...ignoring that pasta sauce and riding him in the chair while that sh** bubbles over. I'm talking..."let's go out to dinner babe," one minute and, "take them panties off and climb up on that table and let get a taste..." the next. I'm talking...69'in on the floor! You ever had sex for so long the damn steak got over cooked? You ever listen to the sound of them moaning so loud, that you forget that the water has been on for over 40 minutes!? Whatever you decide to do, just make sure you clean up after...because pubic hair and a bowl of cereal, don't mix.

fitting room action:

Maybe its the risk seeker in me but there's something sexy about sneaking into a dressing room and enjoying a quickie. This isn't the time to be making love or, "oh, I just wanna enjoy it, take it easy," kinda sex...this is that, "put these panties in your mouth babe and fuck me like you hate me before we get caught!" kinda action. F*** I look like, Michael Jackson Moonwalking in the pu***...I'm tryna Bobby Shmurda Shmoney Dance these strokes, bang-bang, and then boogie back into my dressing room before that annoying ass sales associate comes to double check on me. Go for a large department store, not those corny H&M kinda places where they rush you out of the dressing room because everybody is either A) tryna steal some sh** or B) trying on some sh*t they aren't even gonna buy after walking around for the next few minutes. There's no cameras and, if you get one with a mirror?! #Winning! Just make sure you keep your eyes and ears open...cops will break that sex session up quicker than the St. Louis riots!

..too soon?

Saving Ryan's Privates:

Mannn, who gives a damn about going to the movies and seeing ol' boring ass Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles after you JUST took your lil brother; not a damn soul! Movie theater sex is always good because you can go at certain times, to see a movie that 9/10 not a soul will be watching! Mid afternoon...who in their right mind is going to see Lucy? No one! Go for the back or mid section if you get caught so you can make a quick dash to the exit or head to the top so you can a lil more privacy from that annoying ass usher who wanna decides to finally do his job. Get a big ass thing of popcorn (yes, a LARGE *he/she got moneeeey*) and make a penis hole big enough for you to, you know, give a nice lil hand job or...maybe some head, depending on how you're feeling. Try to see if you can sneak into the projection room or the steps, this way, if usher "They Don't Pay Me Enough" puts his flashlight on you or blows his whistle...you can run for it, run for it, RUN! Just make sure you keep an eye out for an usher because he will more than likely be with a cop and, well...these cops ain't f***in around outchea!

If you wanted more, don't worry...part 2 drops tomorrow!

@Renaissance_Brotha_