W.E.T.

...but what that mouth do!?
- anonymous

I'm not sure who the first person was to ask this but I do know a lady asked me this while standing in line at Chiptole:

Lady: I'm sorry but what cologne are you wearing?
Me: Polo Black
Lady: oh my...well, it smells really great
Me: thank you, I appreciate you saying that
Lady: ok I'm sorry but you have really nice lips

***pause***

So at that point...I totally forgot what I wanted to order! She was pretty but...she had a ring on it (BBM sad face).

***unpause***

Me: really? Thank you...I don't get that often
Lady: they're a nice size though...just wanna know what that mouth do?
Me: *insert nervous laugh* a lot...I guess

She literally had me at a lost for words, so much so that I ordered a damn chicken bowl and forgot to ask them to add a lil more rice and chicken! When you ask someone of the opposite sex, "what that mouth do?" They're usually referencing...

But today I wanna touch on what else, that mouth can do;

Stimulate that motherfu**in mind!

*class is in session*

When we think about sex, we think about...

• sex in the shower
• sex in the kitchen
• sex in the living room
• sex in kids bedroom (ok, not on the bed...maybe near the toy chest...just an idea)
• sex in the car
• sex in the bathroom, at that restaurant where the waitress is always a bi*** because ya'll take too long to decide what you want
• sex...ok, you get the point.

And while this is cool,

we often forget that, even before intercourse can happen, one must be stimulated mentally. Yes folks, stimulating the mind can open doors that "penis/vagina key" can not!

I feel when you stimulate your partner, first mentally, the possibility of your physical needs and wants have a greater chance of being met. The idea is to be able to paint a picture for the mind of; WHAT you wanna do and HOW you're gonna do it and once that happens, sex has the tendency to be that much greater!

I get the whole, "having a physical attraction to somebody is important and blah blah blah," but when you think about our ability to even get in the mood, all I wanna know is...what that mind do!?

...You know what it's like to be aroused by a woman who knows the difference between: they're, their, and there!? It's on the same level as seeing your food come out at the restaurant. There's nothing more sexier than a woman who can hold an intelligent convo and challenge my mind! Now when I think about that in terms of sex, once you turn a person of mentally, unless it's your duty to please that booty, trying to have good sex with that person will be like watching paint dry!

I'm sorry fellas but if you think that just because you're good looking and the penis you're slinging will keep a woman interested; think again my friend! There are men out there who are handsome, have an amazing personality, humorous, are "packing," and...

*drum roll*

can keep a woman's mind stimulate without laying a single finger on/in her!

The great thing about mental stimulation is that it doesn't just happen in the bedroom because, I mean, you know, talkin dirty does makes the pus** wetter fellas (just tossing that out there). It can happen at school, church, the dentist office, a funeral, at work, when you send him/her a text,

"Hope you're day is going well...but when I see you ima f*** the soul outta you, ok?" Have a great day babe!"

orsomething else along those lines but the point I'm making is that you don't have to rely on JUST physical activity to get your partner aroused. I know you're thinking foreplay before sex is the sure fire way to get her panties moist but there are so many other ways you can achieve getting her in the mood;

Say it with me: women (hand clap) love (hand clap) to talk (hand clap, hand clap)! Yes, you got it! A man who engages a woman in conversation has already beat out the dude who is begging her to come "chill". Ask her out to coffee or hell, even the park just to talk and I promise you she will go back to her friends and rant and rave about you. Ask about what motivates her, what her interests are, her dreams, I mean, don't make it sound like an interview but the idea is to pick apart her brain and really get to know how she thinks and find out what she has a passion for. If you're concerned with just trying to f*** then I'm sorry sir but this piece isn't for you. Don't he afraid to share your interest and dreams as well...women find that sh** attractive bruh. Make eye contact- but don't eye fu** her. Pay attention to her body language. Even when you're texting, stay away from asking her question after question and making vague statements:

Him: wyd
Her: nothin watchin tv, you?
Him: same
Her: oh ok how was your day?
Him: pretty good, yours?
Her: it was good. Long, but good, just tired

It's convos like this that make women lose interest, real quick! I'm not saying be a First 48 detective but you don't wanna come off as vague either- engage her. Ask her what about her day was good or bad, what does she have planned for tomorrow or the rest of the week, so on and so forth. Yes, the convo of sex will come up at some point but she has to be able to feel comfortable AND trust you to be able to be open with you in that manner! If she likes you, of course she's thought about how would sex be with you, but don't go in for the kill by sending her a d*** pic or,

Her: I would have to say....Fast and Furious
Him: yea, I wasn't a big fan of Fast and Furious but the last one was good...so what you wearing

You're, too, thirsty bro, relaaax. Stop trying to show her that your d*** is on fleek and allow her to find out on her own, for that because if the convo is that good...

It's sexy to a woman when a man knows more about what's going on in the world vs the new Jordans that came out...basic b****es/women care about sh** like that. Who cares if you know that Drake was "runnin thru the 6 wit his woes," when you can't even name the three branches of government- you're just a tool to her. A man who is cultured, who has substance, one who can teach her something! Most of y'all will fake interest just to get the pu***, don't get the pu***, get mad at her for not giving up the pu***, and then try the same sh** on the next female...and it happens all over again- bruh, is you dumb or nah! Good convo is like foreplay- mind fuck her! I'm not saying read a bunch of sh** you don't care about but maybe, idk, talk about something that DOES excite you!

*light bulb*

She just wants someone to challenge her mind and not talk about the latest gossip, foolery, or talk about sports all the time; diversify your mind.

Now, [some] women like dancing. *gasp* If you're dealing with a woman, ditch the whole movie and dinner date and find a spot that plays music and tell her to get sexy, don't take long, and make sure she puts on comfortable shoes- be direct. When I talk about stimulating her mentally, dancing helps that as well, how? Her seeing you move with rhythm (or at least trying to) and enjoying yourself, is as big of a surprise as the Kentucky losing in the Final Four this year. Now I'm not saying fondle her while you're dancing because she'll think you're a creep but, trace her body with your hands, look in her eyes every so often, grab her by the waist, spin her, I mean, let your bodies talk so your hands don't have to so much. Unfortunately for me, my mother was a dancer so I was forced to do ballet, tap, and yada yada, so I grew up knowing how to dance and what not but for those who didn't, they had to learn from watching others and practicing. The point I'm making here is that women tend to associate dancing, with sex...and that's all ima say about that!

Now, a huge and I mean HUGE turn off for women is a man's inability to take the lead! "Idk babe, it's whatever you wanna do," will leave your penis inside your boxers and text messages unanswered. "How about you come over to chill," will have her lying to you on some, "ok boo, I'm on my way," when she really either went to sleep or continued to watch tv or she went out with her friends/another dude. Tell her you made plans and that you're coming to get her or for her to meet you somewhere if you don't drive (like me). Tell her what's on your mind. If you do tell her to come over and chill...make sure those are your only intentions!

(I mean, if she hops on you wanting the D...that's on you, I mean, I can tell you that she'll find it sexy if you turn her down, but what do I know)

The point is: she wants a man with a plan and action and not a lil ass boy, with hard di** looking for satisfaction. Don't be cocky, but be confident in all that you do and say. Be a leader. Have a backbone. Be clear and concise! If you say to her,

"When you get home after work, meet me at the lil Mediterranean joint in the city and don't be late and don't wear panties and bring sneakers and have bail money on standby just in case."

The moral here fellas is that, if you've gotten her thinking about what you plan on doing, that right there can be just, if not more pleasurable than the activity itself. Now, if you want her limbs to stretch long and wide, you might wanna tap into her mental first. Don't just be eye candy- be soul food. Don't just provide her food for nourishment- be food for thought, for her hungry mind. Strength is demonstrated in your ability to tell her no; so if she's rushing you to have sex...tell her no and stand by it! If you can find pleasure in watching her take off her clothes, find pleasure watching her undress her insecurities, while you kiss the flaws she's been afraid to expose to the world. Sure, you wanna eat the booty like groceries, we get it, we get it...but how about mind fuc**** her so good that penis is the last thing on her mind when it comes to you. She can't learn sh** from no dumbaas- dumbass! Stop being so caught on lust and thirst and try substituting those two for genuine interest and patience. "It's so dope when the lust is mutual," is another basic ass social media quote for basic ass people who get lusted after and then get mad when the other person only wanted them for sex- STICK WITH INTEREST! If she gives you the time if the day, if she allows you to take her on dates, if she devotes her time to you...be real, be honest, be genuine, be engaging, but more importantly- be you. If you listen...she will cum. Intelligence is sexiest on a man who actually knows how to hold a convo and I mean, I ain't the best looking man but I do have great teeth and I can talk a woman's head off or I can listen to her talk my head off till she goes to sleep. You know how corny it is for her body to be with you but her mind somewhere else? Bruh! I talk to ya'll like this because it's time we regain our position in the world and stop doing f*** sh**! Sex ain't going nowhere and if your concern is about quaintly and not quality then...I don't know what to tell you my friend, well, I do, but, that's a different blog.

Be food for thought, for a hungry mind and I guarantee you that if you seduce that mind...the body will follow but warning, entirely tempting...is her love below.

*class dismissed*

@renaissance_brotha_

S.I.N.G.L.E.

Me: being single is cool, like, I don't have to worry abo...
Friend: like what?
Me: cheating, the difference between being loyal and being faithful, ordering extra food because I know 1 in 3 women are greedy and will reach over to your plate and grab some of what you're eating, hair care products..
Friend: really Anthony...hair care products tho
Me: yup, I have a fear of my hair LeBron'ing
Friend: but I mean, do...
Me: don't get me wrong, I love having someone and building and all that but times have changed. the landscape of dating has changed soo much you know
Friend: you're picky...that's what that is
Me: nah b, I have standards, like, I told you this, my d*** has standards!
Friend: or maybe you're a d***, WITH standards
Me: you could be right...

Times, have changed. The way we date/court, have changed. Our perspective on relationships and marriages have changed...and not so much for the better. I guess, when you have "your sh*t together" and you're single, it tends to raise eyebrows especially since nowadays everybody is so guarded against any and every thing that may or may not happen or their "fall back game" is too strong.

For me, I get looked at funny or it's always some melo dramatic ass question-based-statement with a backhanded compliment that follows when I state that I'm single,

"omg, seriously, you're single? why!? you seem like the perfect catch, well, not perfect because you're short but you're handsome, but you get what I'm tryna say."

And because answering sarcastically usually renders THIS, as a response

So, being the gentleman that I am, I usually answer,

"Yup, I'm single, like a dollar bill in a stripper's ass!"

But seriously, who knows why I'm single...maybe I didn't forward enough chain letters, maybe it's because I was anti-veggies as a child...all that matters is that I'm completely open to the idea of building with someone who is ready and willing to do just that...

but are you?

*class is in session*

How many times have we settled for that person who showed the most interest at the time but later regretted the decision because he/she turned out like the last one? A lot of hands should be up right about now! We often ignore the red flags deal breakers, and nonnegotiables because those few months are so, blissful! After the "honeymoon" phase is over, all those things we ignored in the beginning start to annoy us more and more as the relationship begins to take shape. Well, I'm here to tell you that; I ain't wit the sh**, because...

I'd rather be single than be with someone who’s only interested in what I can do for them, instead of what we can do for each other...

Nowadays, people only give a f*** about themselves...ok, maybe that's always been the case, but if you're single, you're either:

A) looking for love
B) not interested (working on you...blah blah blah)
C) guarded because you've been hurt
D) still caught up over your ex
E) entertaining someone until someone better comes along/filling a void

...or maybe none of those apply to you but whatever your situation is: stay the f*** away from me if you're only interested in what I can bring to the table and/or what I already have at the table! It's cool to want somebody because they look good or like someone because they have money/own car/crib but what else interests you? That whole, "a bond is better than a title," bullsh** is aight but what good is forming a bond, if we aren't building into something greater? If we aren't building a friendship foundation that transitions into a relationship- I'm not interested. I'm not saying we have to be the best of friends because we'll develop into besties as the relationships progresses but man, I mean, at least let us be able to have some sort of connection first! Let's build, let's learn from each other/about each, let's form a real connection; f*** the, "we do take great pics together," or "my ex is playing games at the moment so let me entertain you till they get it together," type sh**! F*** do I care about getting into a meaningless ass relationship with you, if you're not about progression? I can give you the sun, moon, stars, and orgasms but, if you're more concerned with dinner dates that you can post on Instagram or trips where you can pop bottles, gifts, and turnin up, well...

I’d rather be single than settle down with someone who I couldn't see myself being faithful to...

On paper, they might sound like a good catch but the moment it's an one on one interaction...the energy...the vibe, just ain't there. Monogamy isn't natural. I feel people say and use that as an excuse to be unfaithful to people that they had no plans on being faithful to. I do feel however, when it comes to relationships:

• communication is key
• sex is a stress reliever
• trust is the foundation
• honesty is the glue

With that being said: if you know you're a person that likes to have sex with this one on Monday, your ex on Tuesday, a random on Thursday, or you're emotionally not over your ex or you're in no position to entertain someone (at the moment)- remain single. Temptation, is, a, motherf***a...I get it, but karma is a completely different motherf***a who you will have to deal with in some damn way, shape, or form! If you have to question yourself about whether or not being faithful is something you can commitment to being- don't put yourself in the situation. I don't wanna hear, "it's easier said than done," because that's nothing more than a phrase you've conditioned yourself into believing! I know the following is dumb but it is also rhetorical but: why would you wanna cheat on someone who you knew from jump, you didn't wanna be with...when you could literally, and I mean LITERALLY, have sex with damn near anybody you wanted to...while single...

I’d rather be single than get into a relationship that doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell, developing into something serious...

I'm not interested in wasting my TIME because it's too valuable. I'm not interested in wasting my ENERGY because I'm quite sure someone else will be more deserving and appreciate it. More importantly, I'm not about wasting my AFFECTION, on someone who shows me they're not even interested because if I fall for you and you do some corny s***...I'm getting you fired from your job and I'm hiring a homeless man to follow you every damn where you go who sings jingles; try me! I don't care how incredibly attractive you are or how solid your sex resume is because that does little for US in the long run! Let me know if you want a friends with benefits type relationship. Let me know if you just want someone who you can talk to and kick it with. Let (hand clap) me (hand clap) know (hand clap, hand clap)! Ice cream sounds good on a hot summer's day right? Well so does a relationship, for the hopeless romantic and for those who don't care sh*t about romance and just want a nut- it sounds like a burden. All I'm saying is: give me a say in the matter and don't lead me on and have me thinking one thing, when it's completely the opposite. At some point, all that fake interest is only gonna get you hurt in the long run (mentally and possibly physically) and I ain't got the time, energy, nor affection for the fake ssh**- that's the real TEA!

I’d rather be single than get serious with someone who lacks qualities like drive, ambition and compassion...

I just can't see myself building with someone who doesn't see more for themselves. At least Martin had a dream, some of y'all only have "get rich quick schemes" or you're waiting on your parents to die, so you can collect that life insurance money or you're waiting around for your dream career to knock at that damn door so you can be like...

...and ain't nobody got time for that biiihhhhh! I need to know that if you lost everything you had right now, do you have it in you to get it all back!? Now, of course if we're together, I'm gonna be there for you, but I wanna know do YOU, have it in you! I want someone who is attractive- I need someone who compliments me...and when I say "compliment, I don't mean someone that tells me I look good in a red cardigan because I know that already. I want someone who knows what it means to hustle- I need someone who has drive to get it by any means. Confidence is great, but ambition speaks from the very depth of who you are! Are you headed in the right direction? Do you have understanding of self...understanding of who I am...what we could be? Do you trust me to be the person I say I am/show you to be, hell, do you trust yourself? Are you willing to communicate your wants, needs, concerns, through all the ups and downs? Are you willing to be honest to not only me but to yourself? Well, if you find those things difficult, then I'm not the one for you.

I rather be single than deal with someone who isn't fully over their ex...

I know and you know that you aren't fully over your ex, I mean,


f**k outta here wit that bs! But seriously tho, if you still have any feelings left for your ex, then you and I can't be. How can you entertain a potential future with me, while you're ex is still very present? You're looking for me to help mend your broken heart but you're allowing this guy over here play battle ship with the pieces? In a way, now that I think about it...if you're fu**ing around with your ex and you fu**ing around with me...I mean, by default, I'm...I'm the side (BBM shocked face)! Now, I can pretend that I won't be hurt if you decided to let him eat your booty like groceries but even Maury knows what time it is...


I can take you to Paris, buy you diamonds, massage you from head to toe every other night, take you to see Nicki Minaj and Meek Mill in concert, I mean, hell, we can even role play and dress up like them and if you want...you can get your friend with the big breast and chubby stomach to dress up as Nicki's ex...ok, nevermind...

I can cook for you, d*** you down on reg, hell, I can even eat your booty like groceries, but if you're still involved with your ex, and I mean even in the slightest fashion...that's a game I won't even win, sh**, won't even place in. How can I have your heart, when ol boy still has the key to it?

Let that marinate...

I would love to wake up next to my queen every single day, for the rest of my life and tell her how her breath smells like police corruption and billy goat sh**. I want love. I want someone to call my own, just like I'm sure many of you want as well but these situationships, textships, and having a fallback game soooo strong isn't healthy...I don't care what you tell me- it ain't healthy! Do you really see yourself waking up to the smell of our cat's sh** coming from the bathroom? Do you really see yourself having brunch, every single Sunday after church by yourself? If you're not ready to commit to be in a relationship, don't waste anyone's time and definitely don't lead someone on because more than likely the end result won't end well. Get yourself together before you even consider having someone come into your life. Also, stop looking at what someone else is offering and make sure you can offer what it is that you're looking for and then some! F*** does it matter if that person can give you loyalty when you can't respect him/her. F*** does it matter if they're gonna be faithful while you're out and about cheating. F*** does it matter if they can see a future with you and you're still in the past, trying to piece together a relationship that went wrong. Remain, single, until, you're, completely, ready, to, invest! I mean,

sh**, I'm not gettin laid either!

Before I forget...

red flags...sh*t that makes your eyebrows raise, but you often times ignore
- example: when you ask a question, he/she usually answers "some" of it and says something like, "it don't mater babe, that was a long time ago..." and that sh*t matters like cops killing unarmed Black men!

dealbreakers...something you tend to bend on, but you know it aint/wont be cool later down the line.
- example: showing up late to dates...constantly.

nonnegotiables...sh** that ain't cool, and should be checked when it happens
- example: smoking...not weed, but cigs.


*class dismissed*

any comments, questions, concerns you may have...leave below or shoot me an email: brotharenaissance@gmail.com

@renaissance_brotha_