S.I.N.G.L.E.

Me: being single is cool, like, I don't have to worry abo...
Friend: like what?
Me: cheating, the difference between being loyal and being faithful, ordering extra food because I know 1 in 3 women are greedy and will reach over to your plate and grab some of what you're eating, hair care products..
Friend: really Anthony...hair care products tho
Me: yup, I have a fear of my hair LeBron'ing
Friend: but I mean, do...
Me: don't get me wrong, I love having someone and building and all that but times have changed. the landscape of dating has changed soo much you know
Friend: you're picky...that's what that is
Me: nah b, I have standards, like, I told you this, my d*** has standards!
Friend: or maybe you're a d***, WITH standards
Me: you could be right...

Times, have changed. The way we date/court, have changed. Our perspective on relationships and marriages have changed...and not so much for the better. I guess, when you have "your sh*t together" and you're single, it tends to raise eyebrows especially since nowadays everybody is so guarded against any and every thing that may or may not happen or their "fall back game" is too strong.

For me, I get looked at funny or it's always some melo dramatic ass question-based-statement with a backhanded compliment that follows when I state that I'm single,

"omg, seriously, you're single? why!? you seem like the perfect catch, well, not perfect because you're short but you're handsome, but you get what I'm tryna say."

And because answering sarcastically usually renders THIS, as a response

So, being the gentleman that I am, I usually answer,

"Yup, I'm single, like a dollar bill in a stripper's ass!"

But seriously, who knows why I'm single...maybe I didn't forward enough chain letters, maybe it's because I was anti-veggies as a child...all that matters is that I'm completely open to the idea of building with someone who is ready and willing to do just that...

but are you?

*class is in session*

How many times have we settled for that person who showed the most interest at the time but later regretted the decision because he/she turned out like the last one? A lot of hands should be up right about now! We often ignore the red flags deal breakers, and nonnegotiables because those few months are so, blissful! After the "honeymoon" phase is over, all those things we ignored in the beginning start to annoy us more and more as the relationship begins to take shape. Well, I'm here to tell you that; I ain't wit the sh**, because...

I'd rather be single than be with someone who’s only interested in what I can do for them, instead of what we can do for each other...

Nowadays, people only give a f*** about themselves...ok, maybe that's always been the case, but if you're single, you're either:

A) looking for love
B) not interested (working on you...blah blah blah)
C) guarded because you've been hurt
D) still caught up over your ex
E) entertaining someone until someone better comes along/filling a void

...or maybe none of those apply to you but whatever your situation is: stay the f*** away from me if you're only interested in what I can bring to the table and/or what I already have at the table! It's cool to want somebody because they look good or like someone because they have money/own car/crib but what else interests you? That whole, "a bond is better than a title," bullsh** is aight but what good is forming a bond, if we aren't building into something greater? If we aren't building a friendship foundation that transitions into a relationship- I'm not interested. I'm not saying we have to be the best of friends because we'll develop into besties as the relationships progresses but man, I mean, at least let us be able to have some sort of connection first! Let's build, let's learn from each other/about each, let's form a real connection; f*** the, "we do take great pics together," or "my ex is playing games at the moment so let me entertain you till they get it together," type sh**! F*** do I care about getting into a meaningless ass relationship with you, if you're not about progression? I can give you the sun, moon, stars, and orgasms but, if you're more concerned with dinner dates that you can post on Instagram or trips where you can pop bottles, gifts, and turnin up, well...

I’d rather be single than settle down with someone who I couldn't see myself being faithful to...

On paper, they might sound like a good catch but the moment it's an one on one interaction...the energy...the vibe, just ain't there. Monogamy isn't natural. I feel people say and use that as an excuse to be unfaithful to people that they had no plans on being faithful to. I do feel however, when it comes to relationships:

• communication is key
• sex is a stress reliever
• trust is the foundation
• honesty is the glue

With that being said: if you know you're a person that likes to have sex with this one on Monday, your ex on Tuesday, a random on Thursday, or you're emotionally not over your ex or you're in no position to entertain someone (at the moment)- remain single. Temptation, is, a, motherf***a...I get it, but karma is a completely different motherf***a who you will have to deal with in some damn way, shape, or form! If you have to question yourself about whether or not being faithful is something you can commitment to being- don't put yourself in the situation. I don't wanna hear, "it's easier said than done," because that's nothing more than a phrase you've conditioned yourself into believing! I know the following is dumb but it is also rhetorical but: why would you wanna cheat on someone who you knew from jump, you didn't wanna be with...when you could literally, and I mean LITERALLY, have sex with damn near anybody you wanted to...while single...

I’d rather be single than get into a relationship that doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell, developing into something serious...

I'm not interested in wasting my TIME because it's too valuable. I'm not interested in wasting my ENERGY because I'm quite sure someone else will be more deserving and appreciate it. More importantly, I'm not about wasting my AFFECTION, on someone who shows me they're not even interested because if I fall for you and you do some corny s***...I'm getting you fired from your job and I'm hiring a homeless man to follow you every damn where you go who sings jingles; try me! I don't care how incredibly attractive you are or how solid your sex resume is because that does little for US in the long run! Let me know if you want a friends with benefits type relationship. Let me know if you just want someone who you can talk to and kick it with. Let (hand clap) me (hand clap) know (hand clap, hand clap)! Ice cream sounds good on a hot summer's day right? Well so does a relationship, for the hopeless romantic and for those who don't care sh*t about romance and just want a nut- it sounds like a burden. All I'm saying is: give me a say in the matter and don't lead me on and have me thinking one thing, when it's completely the opposite. At some point, all that fake interest is only gonna get you hurt in the long run (mentally and possibly physically) and I ain't got the time, energy, nor affection for the fake ssh**- that's the real TEA!

I’d rather be single than get serious with someone who lacks qualities like drive, ambition and compassion...

I just can't see myself building with someone who doesn't see more for themselves. At least Martin had a dream, some of y'all only have "get rich quick schemes" or you're waiting on your parents to die, so you can collect that life insurance money or you're waiting around for your dream career to knock at that damn door so you can be like...

...and ain't nobody got time for that biiihhhhh! I need to know that if you lost everything you had right now, do you have it in you to get it all back!? Now, of course if we're together, I'm gonna be there for you, but I wanna know do YOU, have it in you! I want someone who is attractive- I need someone who compliments me...and when I say "compliment, I don't mean someone that tells me I look good in a red cardigan because I know that already. I want someone who knows what it means to hustle- I need someone who has drive to get it by any means. Confidence is great, but ambition speaks from the very depth of who you are! Are you headed in the right direction? Do you have understanding of self...understanding of who I am...what we could be? Do you trust me to be the person I say I am/show you to be, hell, do you trust yourself? Are you willing to communicate your wants, needs, concerns, through all the ups and downs? Are you willing to be honest to not only me but to yourself? Well, if you find those things difficult, then I'm not the one for you.

I rather be single than deal with someone who isn't fully over their ex...

I know and you know that you aren't fully over your ex, I mean,


f**k outta here wit that bs! But seriously tho, if you still have any feelings left for your ex, then you and I can't be. How can you entertain a potential future with me, while you're ex is still very present? You're looking for me to help mend your broken heart but you're allowing this guy over here play battle ship with the pieces? In a way, now that I think about it...if you're fu**ing around with your ex and you fu**ing around with me...I mean, by default, I'm...I'm the side (BBM shocked face)! Now, I can pretend that I won't be hurt if you decided to let him eat your booty like groceries but even Maury knows what time it is...


I can take you to Paris, buy you diamonds, massage you from head to toe every other night, take you to see Nicki Minaj and Meek Mill in concert, I mean, hell, we can even role play and dress up like them and if you want...you can get your friend with the big breast and chubby stomach to dress up as Nicki's ex...ok, nevermind...

I can cook for you, d*** you down on reg, hell, I can even eat your booty like groceries, but if you're still involved with your ex, and I mean even in the slightest fashion...that's a game I won't even win, sh**, won't even place in. How can I have your heart, when ol boy still has the key to it?

Let that marinate...

I would love to wake up next to my queen every single day, for the rest of my life and tell her how her breath smells like police corruption and billy goat sh**. I want love. I want someone to call my own, just like I'm sure many of you want as well but these situationships, textships, and having a fallback game soooo strong isn't healthy...I don't care what you tell me- it ain't healthy! Do you really see yourself waking up to the smell of our cat's sh** coming from the bathroom? Do you really see yourself having brunch, every single Sunday after church by yourself? If you're not ready to commit to be in a relationship, don't waste anyone's time and definitely don't lead someone on because more than likely the end result won't end well. Get yourself together before you even consider having someone come into your life. Also, stop looking at what someone else is offering and make sure you can offer what it is that you're looking for and then some! F*** does it matter if that person can give you loyalty when you can't respect him/her. F*** does it matter if they're gonna be faithful while you're out and about cheating. F*** does it matter if they can see a future with you and you're still in the past, trying to piece together a relationship that went wrong. Remain, single, until, you're, completely, ready, to, invest! I mean,

sh**, I'm not gettin laid either!

Before I forget...

red flags...sh*t that makes your eyebrows raise, but you often times ignore
- example: when you ask a question, he/she usually answers "some" of it and says something like, "it don't mater babe, that was a long time ago..." and that sh*t matters like cops killing unarmed Black men!

dealbreakers...something you tend to bend on, but you know it aint/wont be cool later down the line.
- example: showing up late to dates...constantly.

nonnegotiables...sh** that ain't cool, and should be checked when it happens
- example: smoking...not weed, but cigs.


*class dismissed*

any comments, questions, concerns you may have...leave below or shoot me an email: brotharenaissance@gmail.com

@renaissance_brotha_