So I Have This Friend...Whose # Is High Or Low- Depending

Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

I'm taking a break from finishing my paper to ask you something because Tony and I can't seem to agree on anything especially on this sex issue!!! Ok, you ready, well...I asked him his "number" the other day and he got soooo upset with me like, Renaissance Man, you have nooooooooo idea how mad this man was but, we talked about it for hours the next day (I was late to work because of it) and we put it to rest. He was all like, "Tari you tripping, it didn't matter because that was a long time ago" but I'm like, "nope, I need to know!" (I was clapping my hands like you lol don't judge me). Me and my girls feel the SAME WAY like, we need to know how many you been wit because I'm not tryna say "I do" to no hoe...not sayin my boo is s hoe but you know what I mean ---HELP ME friend! Women wanna know what's up big head.

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Do we ever just wanna know the number of people our partner has slept with? Is it ever, "just" "a" "number"? Why is Chiptole so damn good? Why do Black Lives Matter only in the f...

the first two questions (and more) will be answered in today's read...

So I Have This Friend...whose # is high or low- depending

At some point or another, you will be asked the amount of people you've had sex with by either:

a) your doctor

b) parent(s)

c) your current partner

d) a person of interest

e) all of the above

For (some) women, its E and for (some) men, it's A, C, and D, why? Well, women are viewed differently and held to a higher regard when it comes to sex and men, well, we aren't but does one's sexual partners matter??? Ima go ahead and say...it really depends on who you ask but to me, nah. I personally don't care about the number of men you've been with but I'll crack into that later in the piece, but for my friend who asked for help, here we go...

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If YOU, as a woman, ask a guy how many ladies he's been with, more times than none he's not gonna be honest with you. Now, don't get your boy shorts in a bunch, just hear me out real quick. If (insert name) tells you his number and it's too high, by your standards that is, HE'S under the impression you're gonna judge him and you're gonna think he was or still very much is, some type of hoe!

"Where was you when I called and you didn't answer?"

"I told you I was taking my moms out for dinner babe...what you talking about!"

"Mmhmm, your mother right...I already know how you get down Mr. 4-5!"

Once you're aware of his number, he goes from, "giiiirl, bae is everything! Yess, I love my bae!" to, (insert name): Male Thot. 

Now if he tells you and the number is low...you're gonna look at him like he's either lying or he's not adequate enough to sleep with you. You know how insecure a guy will feel when shares his number and that number is low???

"So, how many have you really been with besides me?"

"*sigh* 6"

"You lying! ... Really? Awwwww!"

"Awwwww" ... No grown ass man wants to hear awww when it comes to sh*t like that...

I (hand clap) don't (hand clap) care (hand clap, hand clap)! Don't awww me chick!

Just...let it go. There's no reason to create stress with sh*t that went on before you. Now, if his number is high and he's still taking down women like a young Wilt Chamberlain...that's a problem you'll have to deal with accordingly. If his number is low and you like him and you feel he can use practice like Allen Iverson...that is also something you'll have to handle accordingly. Ball is in your court.

If YOU, as a man, ask a woman how many men she's slept with...she's not gonna be completely honest with you. Now, just hear me out real quick before you start throwing your hands in the air and calling them bit**es and what not! The same reasons she doesn't wanna be completely honest with you, is the same reasons we as MEN don't want to...outta fear of being judged. In the face of society; double standards and women- do NOT flow together. If you ask (insert name) her number and it is too high, by your standards that is, SHE'S under the impression you're gonna look at her differently and/or she was or still is (in your head at least) some type of hoe.

"Where you off to?"

"Going to go meet up with Marissa and some of her friends to bowl."

"You mean the Marrisa you had that threesome with bac..."

"Relax babe, it ain't even that kinda party!"

"Mmhmm, yea, whatever! If you plan on doing anything just make sure you have him wrap it up."

Once you're aware of her number, she goes from, "my WCW is better than yours!" to, Thotahontas.

Now, if she tells you her number and it's low...you're gonna think she's out here suckin every dude's peepee! Some men have this logic where, if she ain't fu**in, she suckin and honestly, that's a lose-lose situation either way you look at it.

"You can be honest with me babe, like, it don't even matter, like, we grown."

"*sigh* I've slept with 4, which 3 were were boyfriends and 1 was just a fling but...I have given head to about 10 or mor..."

"Oh, so you was out there suckin like the New York Knicks huh...oh, oh, you ain't fu**** but you suuuure as hell lettin these dudes, start a family, in ya DAMN MOUTH!"

Just...let it go. There's too much ego and double standard mumbo jumbo involved when it comes to women and sex and quite frankly...it ain't even that deep. She has a past...just like you do. She enjoys sex (if not more)...just like you do. So why would you stress over s*** that was going on before you were even in the picture! Now, if she's still out here thottin-n-boppin- that's up to you, on how you wanna handle it. If she isn't that sexually experienced and you feeling her...practice does make perfect right?

Now, the reason I don't care is because like I've said previously; it was in the past and not with me! The quantity isn't important to me, the QUALITY of the person they've been with is the factor. If you've been with someone who only looked at you like you were just a tool for sex, followed by someone who was corny in the sack followed by mediocre sex coupled with a decent personality followed by someone who cheated on you and so on and so forth...that's a whole damn different can of worms we'll have to deal with. More importantly tho...I wanna know is ya healthy!!! If you're *VagFax* says you've been with 14 dudes, then I need to know what the CLINIC has to say as well! I'm up for either a) us going together or b) you going and bringing back the results because I'm not tryna slide inside of you clean and pull out and my entire penis looks goulash! I disagree with those who think that a number will determine if you like them or not- strongly disagree actually. Morals, qualities, one's behavior, level of maturity, like those are the things that should matter the most...not how many they've f***ed BEFORE you! Women act like, if they stumbled across a guy who fulfills their standards but found out later down the line that he was out there screwing everything with a pulse, that they're gonna stop dealing with him...you're lying to yourself and  I will call you/FaceTime you to tell you that you're a liar! Dudes act like, if they bag a girl who looks good, has her own everything, is smart, funny like Gina from Martin and they found out later down the line that she was smashing everybody BUT, the homies, they're gonna stop dealing with her. Some might but if that's the case, he's weak...and I will say that to any man's face. When you focus on the wrong sh** shit, you end up missing things that are going right...but what do I know.

Hope this helped and if you have any more questions, comments, concerns, you know how to get at me.

@renaissance_brotha_