Showing posts with label relationship. problems. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationship. problems. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
LionCheetah
I am a man that is flawed. I speak, from experience. Life, has taught me a great deal. I will never profess to be a man that knows all, just a man who has been thru a lot and has learned a lot more from life and its experiences. This blog is a reflection of growth and maturity as a MAN; not that of a man who "thinks he knows everything."
*class is in session*
There are many reasons as to why relationships end:
•cheating•lying•stability•trust
among other things. LionCheetah simply means: lying-cheater - two of the biggest reasons why WOMEN, decide to throw in the towel. The following explains other reasons why women leave men.
babe...babe...BABE!!!
What I've Learned...is that women CRAVE attention, especially from their man! They love it when you notice things that they've done, for example: change in hairstyle, eyebrows touched up, fresh mani/pedi, cleaning, the time & effort she took to cook something YOU like, when that's NOT her expertise, and so on and so forth. Many times we overlook these things, but the more YOU overlook them, the MORE she'll be looking to someone else who will notice. Sometimes, she just wants you to listen to her talk and maybe input here and there; communication is key! She notices the lack of communication, you better believe she'll communicate to someone who isn't so lackluster and actually gives a damn. If you don't want to continuously give her the wrong impression, you better give her that love & affection or live with the fact that another man will.
"I'm feeling really un-ap-preci-aaated"
What I've Learned...is that you should never and I mean NEVER take the one you love for granted nor should you make her feel unappreciated by YOUR actions and words! If you have a woman who is willing to do for you before she even considers herself; she's a keeper! I've said this in other blogs but I feel like this needs to be said on a continuing basis: it's the lil things that matter the most! What you don't see: is all the stuff she does for you while IN the relationship. What you do see (after the two of you are broken up): is all the stuff she DID for you, while IN the relationship. Don't wait till it's too late to recognize/realize what she does for you. What Drake say, "Better late than never, but never late is better,"...and I know how you dudes LOVE quoting rap lyrics; so take heed to that. Learn to love the one you're with or live to learn from the one you had.
"Why you gotta lie to me?":
What I've Learned...is that back in the day, Toni Braxton was right as a motherf**** ! Lying will get you nowhere fast but with a bottle of lotion, tissues for your "issues", and old scenes of porn stars f***ing the life outta each other for hours. Let me be the first to tell you: a relationship can't stand the test of time if the foundation is built on lies. If she can't trust your word as her man...what kinda man are you? Fellas: without trust, you don't have much of a relationship. When you think about why most friendships fall apart among men, you look at that fact that men value honesty MOST among each other. Now, when you think about relationships and why they fall apart between men and women: it's because someone isn't being honest (I won't gender specify). Honesty is the anchor in a relation-SHIP, and if we as men can't be TRUSTED to be HONEST with the woman in our lives...we shouldn't expect her to stick around.
"I should have cheeeeaaa-ted"
What I've Learned...is that Keyshia Cole had women wanting to cheat like a motherf****! Cheating tends to happen for many reasons and one of the main reasons WHY it happens...is because something isn't right (goes wrong) in the relationship. And what do we as men tend to do? Find something that IS right, in between the legs of the WRONG person! Once again: this is where communication comes into play and why it's soooo very important to communicate with your partner. When your woman finds out about your indiscretions, the bridge you've built to get to her, becomes damaged. That same bridge that was ever-so pretty to cross, is fragile to the touch. All the "sorrys" won't work and all the candy/flowers can't help. If you have a problem, LET IT BE KNOWN!
Emotional Rollercoaster:
What I've Learned...is that an emotional disconnect in the relationship happens more times than we even know it. We as men tend to deal with emotions different, from that of a woman:
•smoke/drink
•play video games•hit the strip club•drive around and listen to music•punch a wall•hit the gym
We are taught as men that we shouldn't cry when something is the matter; women are taught differently. I'm not saying you should cry when she doesn't want to give you the ass when you want it, I'm saying don't run ya silly ass out and cheat because she won't give you the ass! Support, support, SUPPORT! She needs to feel needed, loved, and have that emotional connection with you so that she can feel safe and secure and more importantly, comfortable enough to share. If you can't be the one she leans on...she (hand clap) will (hand clap) find (hand clap) companionship (hand clap) elsewhere, plain and simple.
"Sex ain't better than looveee..."
What I've Learned...is that love conquers a lot (not all, contrary to popular belief). Sex is cool, don't get me wrong, but it isn't everything. Sometimes, she doesn't want you to come over (vice versa) and have you hump away at her. Sometimes, she just wants to cuddle...and then maybe you hump away at her. Seriously, there's this word that many men are unfamiliar with and it's called *intimacy*. Sometimes, you'll have to make love to mind and not her body. Sometimes, you'll have to make her soul feel like everything before you never mattered because you're the only she wants NOW! Take it from me: the more she grows unsatisfied with your lack of intimacy, the less...well, you get the picture.
Gri-ming (grind + timing):What I've Learned...is that women love when you make time for them and respect you even more when you're on your grind (one who is driven; ambitious). We spend all this time trying to get her to see us for who we are and what we're about and after we get her...we tend to fall off. We put "hanging out with the boys," over "dinner for two" and that right there, is a no no. I'm not saying neglect your friends altogether, but know there's a time to chill with them and a time to chill with her and the prior should never come before the latter. Spending time is important because you continue to build upon the foundation you've created. What happens in relationships is that, we as men work our asses off to get the woman we want and then we slack. We don't maintain our appearance (women are guilty of this too), we don't go out as often (guilty myself), and we tend to allow her to pick up the slack (guilty myself). Now on the other hand, you know how sexy drive is to a woman! My friend once told me, "if I didn't have a BF, I would be with you because you're always pushing yourself to do better...unlike this lazy mother(SHUTYOMOUTH)!" One of the main reasons Michelle stayed with Barack was because she saw the potential in him. If we as men are ambitious about buying materialistic things, we should be even MORE driven to further our education and/or progress in our career goals. She'll love you for your ambition...or leave you for you lack of.
You ain't s*** with me and you ain't gon be s*** without me:What I've Learned...is that verbal and physical abuse is never the answer. I've never put my hands on a woman but verbally...I've been a monster!!! It's not something I'm proud of but when you're angry, those very words that you suppress, become your weapons of mass destruction! Any man that puts his hands on a woman, is a coward. Any man that talks, before he thinks, is a man who hasn't learned that the tongue is as mighty as a sword. No woman should put up with any kinda abuse, period but know this ladies: what you will allow, will continue.
Communication is key! I will continue to say that in every relationship piece I post because it is valuable and critical! If you as a woman are stuck between a rock and a hard place; talk things out. If he's not with the talking, the relationship isn't for you. The point I'm trying to make is that you should do everything on YOUR end to make sure the relationship is working and if that isn't happening, after some time...maybe with him, is not where you want to be. If he ain't gon love you, the way he should, let him gooooo.
@renaissance_brotha_
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
The Stevie J. Theory
If you are unfamiliar with the show, Love & Hip Hop ATL, please take a lil time to look up the show and come back.
One of the more popular characters off the show is a lovable, funny, music producer known in the Hip Hop world by the name of Stevie J. Besides being so charming; he's an all around manipulative d***! His intentions might be good some of the time, but every other time...he's a d***! I like him tho because he's real and upfront about a lot of his actions. So for today's class, we'll focus on men LIKE Stevie J and the women, who tend to fall for them. If you're familiar with who he is, great! If you're not, Google him before you read this and then come back...
And enjoy the mother****** show!
SHABBA!
*class is in session*
Love sucks! Ok, I don't mean that but THIS, I do mean: at some point in your life, you will find that one person to love you the way you want to be loved, forever and a day. Sappy, I know, but it's something I truly believe. Here's the kicker tho; although there are plenty fish in the sea, no matter how great of a catch you would like to think you are, there's always gonna be somebody who looks at you and says, "tuuh...I'm good!" and "toss you ass back in that water". You see, there's a big difference between a guy being your friend vs. him being the potential love of your life and many times women get that confused for whatever reason and all hell tends to break loose! We as men, aren't that complicated when deciding such tings! Let's look at it like this: you have your "lead actress" and then you have your "supporting actress." The "leading lady" is like your GF, plain and simple. Now on the OTHER hand, you have your "supporting actress," who is not QUITE like your GF but, is similar in some ways. These "supporting actresses" aren't side pieces, heauxs, or anything like that, oh no; these are girls guys meet and sometimes treat like our real GFs but we never give them the title. They’re simply practice, a warm up for the "lead actress" we're currently seducing or the lead actress that we know will come our way. When you think about this in terms of Love & Hip Hop ATL (and I hope you did your HW) you think about the "love triangle" that is Stevie J x Mimi x Joseline.
Mimi: is the on again/off again "leading lady" (baby mother of Stevie J's daughter) who gets put thru more sh*t than a hog in mud.Joseline: is the on again/off again "supporting actress" to Stevie J with hopes of becoming an international "supastar" who gets put thru more sh*t than a shovel in horse sh*t!Stevie J: ...is the mother****** man! Shaft, Dolomite, ain't got S*** on him! If you ain't "on the bus," (as he frequently puts it from time to time) you better catch up, or get left!
Now let's look at how all of that applies to you reading.
Nowadays, these "supporting actresses" think they are gaining points by meeting family and friends when in reality...none of that means sh*t! You think meeting my moms is gonna somehow make me wanna wife you up? No b****! You think because you and my brothers think LeBron is a piece a sh*t and y'all laugh at his receding hairline, that ima put a baby in you? No b****! You think because you and my lil sister follow each other on IG/Twitter and repost/retweet each others sh*t, that you've become closer to me? No b****! Oh, so you hyped at the fact that my uncle Vern said you look good and felt on your booty just a lil bit...that n**** was drunk and he do that to everybody! I brought one girl around my family and they loved the hell outta her! Hell, it got to a point where they asked about her more than they did about me and WE'RE RELATED! Ladies, don't confuse a nice gesture for an act of love unless otherwise stated, or you'll only end up feeling like s*** and looking stupid. A dude can bring you around his parents and say, "she might be the one," in front of you and yo ass will light up like the sky on the fourth of July and his ass won't mean it! I'm not saying this to crush hopes and dreams, I'm saying it from a realistic point of view. Men play this manipulative game and women follow right along with it, happier than a kid at a school pizza party. Once again, I'm not telling you this to crush your dreams and spirit, I'm telling you this so you can be aware of what COULD (be) happen(ing). Enjoy your time around his family. Laugh, joke, eat, but don't read too far into it. Just because you meet his family doesn't mean you’re close to joining his family. So don't hop on Twitter talking about, "babe got me around his family! His moms can cook her ass off...gotta love my mother-in-law!" And speaking of Twitter...
There's no need for me to put on any social network that we are BF & GF. "Put you're in a relationship with me on Facebook, so I know it's real!" Uhhh, no! "Post a pic & tag me in it, so they know it's real!" Uhhh, no! "Tweet that you love me babe, so they know it's real!" Uhhh, no! "Po...," you get the point I'm tryna make. You think I'm gonna be dumb enough to say we're in a relationship when we're only dating? Ha! If I take you on a date here and there every other week and don't mention anything about you being my GF, but you have concluded that after a few months of us just "dating"...then I'm in a relationship with my barber, hell, I'm in a relationship with the dude at the deli who sells me the scratch offs because we see each other just as much as I see yo ass. Men aren't stupid to state that you two are in a relationship, why? Because it lessens his "pool of pu***"! You think he's gonna dig himself a hole all because you want to make it "Instagram official"? Not gon happen, neva! If he hasn't given you the title in real life, why would he acknowledge your ass in the cyber one? Only dummies make their "supporting ladies" social network official knowing they’re going to be up at 2am liking pics of girls they really want to be with. #FactsOfLife
Now I know what you're thinking, "does it get any worse?" Yup, but not entirely too bad...keep reading.
(Some) women are quick to say, "I throw on that Freak-um dress and some heels and I will have him hooked!" Uhhh, no! You think just because you throw on some leggings, some Jordan's, and a cut up shirt I'm suppose to be impressed? Nope, try again! You think a maxi dress with a thong in between yo ass with some wedges and your make-up done nice, is gonna get my d*** hard? Nope! (ok, a tad). The point I'm tryna make is that, guys don't really care too much about how you dress ESPECIALLY if you look like every other chick...then you're a basic b****! And no (real) man wants a basic b****! Just like you don't like him sagging his pants like all those dudes that you see on the block, he doesn't want someone who looks like the girl he was dancing with at the club last night or the annoying chick from work who's always fashionably late. Sure, we like a lil cleavage, a lil make-up done nicely, a nice ass in some jeans or whatever, but there's no need to come out the house looking like you're about to audition for the next Rick Ross, Lil' Wayne music video because you think that's what all men like! Noooo! It's nice, but it shouldn't be the norm. Getting us to break our neck to look at you is easy; getting us to want to be with your ass is the hard part. You know why Stevie J keeps Joseline around (other than the sex is crazy, I imagine)? Because she has sex appeal. You know WHY he goes back to Mimi time and time again, other than the fact that she's his baby mama? Because SHE has class. A woman who knows how to carry herself will always beat out a woman who only looks to carry herself for attention purposes. It’s not all about image, it’s mostly personality. Let’s be honest, a lot of women are annoying. Men are afraid to say that, but a lot of you gorgeous women annoy the hell out of us. It’s not about being ratchet or giving attitude, that’s easy to handle. Talking too much, being flighty, being too needy, not communicating– that sh*t will get you left alone with the quickness A woman with some swag and confidence out beats the woman with just swag, 9/10 and those are the ones that get that title regardless of how long you've been in the "supporting role" position.
"So how do you feel when a girl says, 'good p*** make a n**** listen!'?" - female student in front, far right.
...yea, listen to sound of his d*** going in and outta your vagina!
"But what if he stayed around for months before they even had sex, and its not about sex...its about love."? - male student in the back, far right.
She's the "supporting role," not Kat Stacks. Listen, he's doing this so he can be ready for when "the one" comes along into the picture. Men know that the lead actress is going be tough as nails to have sex with, so there's no need to focus on the sex right out the gate. He's not coming over to seduce you midway into that Netflix movie so he can slam dunk the d*** in you; he's coming over to talk, chill, and better get to know you. Women can be used for more things than their vagina. Just because he’s not trying to throw the pipe in every time he sees you doesn't mean he’s not using you...manipulation is a b**** huh? Don't worry, we're almost done.
You know how much it hurts Stevie J and guys like him to not be able to be with someone they love dearly, especially the mother of the child? Dudes are sensitive, contrary to popular belief. A lot of you reading this are probably thinking its bs but it's the truth, we get hurt, we push people away, we put up walls, and communicate from behind that wall hoping you understand. Girls don’t seem to understand when a man is in a fragile state because we try and hide it. We’ll still go out, laugh, joke, and watch sports like we’re normal. But internally we’re still thinking about how ohwhatshername told us "I don't love you anymore," and is f***in some other dude, in another state. That's a pain that's very real for men...and was once real for me not too long ago. You think his homeboy is gonna allow him to cry on his shoulder? Nope! He's gonna say, "it's ok man...Tisha & Kia wanna meet up tonight, try and f*** Kia." We f*** Kia and she now becomes the "supporting actress" because our hearts won't allow us to give her such a BIG role in our lives. Somewhere down the line we'll heal, but for now, it's all about getting over that old one, and getting under a new one. No matter how much she held you down, the chances of her becoming your main...slim to none, ironic, I know.
Ladies, ladies, LADIES...don't (hand clap) play (hand clap) a (hand clap) role (hand clap) that (hand clap) you (hand clap) know (hand clap) you're (hand clap) not (hand clap) in a position to play (hand clap, hand clap)
Many of you watch Love & Hip Hop and say, "oh that could never be me, I could never be Mimi or Joseline," and end up in situations just like them. You think just because your vagina is good, it'll keep him at home? Nope! You think because you can cook, it'll keep him under you? Nope! If I'm your man and I want you to be my GF, I'm gonna give you every damn indication that you're my woman, period, point, blank! We can go out on dates, have sex, talk about a future, meet each others families...I can dress up in leather pants, some Gucci shades, a Gucci polo, and a Rolex, but that don't make me Kevin damn Hart now does it? Y'all let the lil things get to you and make it to where, in YOUR head, you're a couple but in reality, that isn't the case. You're a ladder, that leading lady is at the top, get it? Got it? Good. Y'all stay in these position, praying for brighter days and then outta nowhere, get blindsided. Don't be a Mimi, don't be a Joseline, be you! Never allow a man to dictate your worth FOR YOU, only you should be doing that. F***in around w/ dudes like Stevie J...and you'll forever be on that bus...but what do I know, right?
Feedback and questions and concerns and suggestions are always welcomed btw!
@renaissance_brotha_
One of the more popular characters off the show is a lovable, funny, music producer known in the Hip Hop world by the name of Stevie J. Besides being so charming; he's an all around manipulative d***! His intentions might be good some of the time, but every other time...he's a d***! I like him tho because he's real and upfront about a lot of his actions. So for today's class, we'll focus on men LIKE Stevie J and the women, who tend to fall for them. If you're familiar with who he is, great! If you're not, Google him before you read this and then come back...
And enjoy the mother****** show!
SHABBA!
*class is in session*
Love sucks! Ok, I don't mean that but THIS, I do mean: at some point in your life, you will find that one person to love you the way you want to be loved, forever and a day. Sappy, I know, but it's something I truly believe. Here's the kicker tho; although there are plenty fish in the sea, no matter how great of a catch you would like to think you are, there's always gonna be somebody who looks at you and says, "tuuh...I'm good!" and "toss you ass back in that water". You see, there's a big difference between a guy being your friend vs. him being the potential love of your life and many times women get that confused for whatever reason and all hell tends to break loose! We as men, aren't that complicated when deciding such tings! Let's look at it like this: you have your "lead actress" and then you have your "supporting actress." The "leading lady" is like your GF, plain and simple. Now on the OTHER hand, you have your "supporting actress," who is not QUITE like your GF but, is similar in some ways. These "supporting actresses" aren't side pieces, heauxs, or anything like that, oh no; these are girls guys meet and sometimes treat like our real GFs but we never give them the title. They’re simply practice, a warm up for the "lead actress" we're currently seducing or the lead actress that we know will come our way. When you think about this in terms of Love & Hip Hop ATL (and I hope you did your HW) you think about the "love triangle" that is Stevie J x Mimi x Joseline.
Mimi: is the on again/off again "leading lady" (baby mother of Stevie J's daughter) who gets put thru more sh*t than a hog in mud.Joseline: is the on again/off again "supporting actress" to Stevie J with hopes of becoming an international "supastar" who gets put thru more sh*t than a shovel in horse sh*t!Stevie J: ...is the mother****** man! Shaft, Dolomite, ain't got S*** on him! If you ain't "on the bus," (as he frequently puts it from time to time) you better catch up, or get left!
Now let's look at how all of that applies to you reading.
Nowadays, these "supporting actresses" think they are gaining points by meeting family and friends when in reality...none of that means sh*t! You think meeting my moms is gonna somehow make me wanna wife you up? No b****! You think because you and my brothers think LeBron is a piece a sh*t and y'all laugh at his receding hairline, that ima put a baby in you? No b****! You think because you and my lil sister follow each other on IG/Twitter and repost/retweet each others sh*t, that you've become closer to me? No b****! Oh, so you hyped at the fact that my uncle Vern said you look good and felt on your booty just a lil bit...that n**** was drunk and he do that to everybody! I brought one girl around my family and they loved the hell outta her! Hell, it got to a point where they asked about her more than they did about me and WE'RE RELATED! Ladies, don't confuse a nice gesture for an act of love unless otherwise stated, or you'll only end up feeling like s*** and looking stupid. A dude can bring you around his parents and say, "she might be the one," in front of you and yo ass will light up like the sky on the fourth of July and his ass won't mean it! I'm not saying this to crush hopes and dreams, I'm saying it from a realistic point of view. Men play this manipulative game and women follow right along with it, happier than a kid at a school pizza party. Once again, I'm not telling you this to crush your dreams and spirit, I'm telling you this so you can be aware of what COULD (be) happen(ing). Enjoy your time around his family. Laugh, joke, eat, but don't read too far into it. Just because you meet his family doesn't mean you’re close to joining his family. So don't hop on Twitter talking about, "babe got me around his family! His moms can cook her ass off...gotta love my mother-in-law!" And speaking of Twitter...
There's no need for me to put on any social network that we are BF & GF. "Put you're in a relationship with me on Facebook, so I know it's real!" Uhhh, no! "Post a pic & tag me in it, so they know it's real!" Uhhh, no! "Tweet that you love me babe, so they know it's real!" Uhhh, no! "Po...," you get the point I'm tryna make. You think I'm gonna be dumb enough to say we're in a relationship when we're only dating? Ha! If I take you on a date here and there every other week and don't mention anything about you being my GF, but you have concluded that after a few months of us just "dating"...then I'm in a relationship with my barber, hell, I'm in a relationship with the dude at the deli who sells me the scratch offs because we see each other just as much as I see yo ass. Men aren't stupid to state that you two are in a relationship, why? Because it lessens his "pool of pu***"! You think he's gonna dig himself a hole all because you want to make it "Instagram official"? Not gon happen, neva! If he hasn't given you the title in real life, why would he acknowledge your ass in the cyber one? Only dummies make their "supporting ladies" social network official knowing they’re going to be up at 2am liking pics of girls they really want to be with. #FactsOfLife
Now I know what you're thinking, "does it get any worse?" Yup, but not entirely too bad...keep reading.
(Some) women are quick to say, "I throw on that Freak-um dress and some heels and I will have him hooked!" Uhhh, no! You think just because you throw on some leggings, some Jordan's, and a cut up shirt I'm suppose to be impressed? Nope, try again! You think a maxi dress with a thong in between yo ass with some wedges and your make-up done nice, is gonna get my d*** hard? Nope! (ok, a tad). The point I'm tryna make is that, guys don't really care too much about how you dress ESPECIALLY if you look like every other chick...then you're a basic b****! And no (real) man wants a basic b****! Just like you don't like him sagging his pants like all those dudes that you see on the block, he doesn't want someone who looks like the girl he was dancing with at the club last night or the annoying chick from work who's always fashionably late. Sure, we like a lil cleavage, a lil make-up done nicely, a nice ass in some jeans or whatever, but there's no need to come out the house looking like you're about to audition for the next Rick Ross, Lil' Wayne music video because you think that's what all men like! Noooo! It's nice, but it shouldn't be the norm. Getting us to break our neck to look at you is easy; getting us to want to be with your ass is the hard part. You know why Stevie J keeps Joseline around (other than the sex is crazy, I imagine)? Because she has sex appeal. You know WHY he goes back to Mimi time and time again, other than the fact that she's his baby mama? Because SHE has class. A woman who knows how to carry herself will always beat out a woman who only looks to carry herself for attention purposes. It’s not all about image, it’s mostly personality. Let’s be honest, a lot of women are annoying. Men are afraid to say that, but a lot of you gorgeous women annoy the hell out of us. It’s not about being ratchet or giving attitude, that’s easy to handle. Talking too much, being flighty, being too needy, not communicating– that sh*t will get you left alone with the quickness A woman with some swag and confidence out beats the woman with just swag, 9/10 and those are the ones that get that title regardless of how long you've been in the "supporting role" position.
"So how do you feel when a girl says, 'good p*** make a n**** listen!'?" - female student in front, far right.
...yea, listen to sound of his d*** going in and outta your vagina!
"But what if he stayed around for months before they even had sex, and its not about sex...its about love."? - male student in the back, far right.
She's the "supporting role," not Kat Stacks. Listen, he's doing this so he can be ready for when "the one" comes along into the picture. Men know that the lead actress is going be tough as nails to have sex with, so there's no need to focus on the sex right out the gate. He's not coming over to seduce you midway into that Netflix movie so he can slam dunk the d*** in you; he's coming over to talk, chill, and better get to know you. Women can be used for more things than their vagina. Just because he’s not trying to throw the pipe in every time he sees you doesn't mean he’s not using you...manipulation is a b**** huh? Don't worry, we're almost done.
You know how much it hurts Stevie J and guys like him to not be able to be with someone they love dearly, especially the mother of the child? Dudes are sensitive, contrary to popular belief. A lot of you reading this are probably thinking its bs but it's the truth, we get hurt, we push people away, we put up walls, and communicate from behind that wall hoping you understand. Girls don’t seem to understand when a man is in a fragile state because we try and hide it. We’ll still go out, laugh, joke, and watch sports like we’re normal. But internally we’re still thinking about how ohwhatshername told us "I don't love you anymore," and is f***in some other dude, in another state. That's a pain that's very real for men...and was once real for me not too long ago. You think his homeboy is gonna allow him to cry on his shoulder? Nope! He's gonna say, "it's ok man...Tisha & Kia wanna meet up tonight, try and f*** Kia." We f*** Kia and she now becomes the "supporting actress" because our hearts won't allow us to give her such a BIG role in our lives. Somewhere down the line we'll heal, but for now, it's all about getting over that old one, and getting under a new one. No matter how much she held you down, the chances of her becoming your main...slim to none, ironic, I know.
Ladies, ladies, LADIES...don't (hand clap) play (hand clap) a (hand clap) role (hand clap) that (hand clap) you (hand clap) know (hand clap) you're (hand clap) not (hand clap) in a position to play (hand clap, hand clap)
Many of you watch Love & Hip Hop and say, "oh that could never be me, I could never be Mimi or Joseline," and end up in situations just like them. You think just because your vagina is good, it'll keep him at home? Nope! You think because you can cook, it'll keep him under you? Nope! If I'm your man and I want you to be my GF, I'm gonna give you every damn indication that you're my woman, period, point, blank! We can go out on dates, have sex, talk about a future, meet each others families...I can dress up in leather pants, some Gucci shades, a Gucci polo, and a Rolex, but that don't make me Kevin damn Hart now does it? Y'all let the lil things get to you and make it to where, in YOUR head, you're a couple but in reality, that isn't the case. You're a ladder, that leading lady is at the top, get it? Got it? Good. Y'all stay in these position, praying for brighter days and then outta nowhere, get blindsided. Don't be a Mimi, don't be a Joseline, be you! Never allow a man to dictate your worth FOR YOU, only you should be doing that. F***in around w/ dudes like Stevie J...and you'll forever be on that bus...but what do I know, right?
Feedback and questions and concerns and suggestions are always welcomed btw!
@renaissance_brotha_
Monday, June 24, 2013
LeBron Has Rings...Do You?
*disclaimer*
If you are easily offended...this blog is not for you.
Me: How long have y'all been going out again, 5 years?
Friend: Aww, you remembered Ant!
Me: I did! Has he mentioned or even hinted at a ring appearing anytime soon?
Friend: Nooo! We've been off and on so much, I don't know if that's a possibility but I...
Me: ...love him!
Friend: Why you say it like that? I mean, I see him proposing to me, I mean, why wouldn't he? We've been together for so long!
Me: I guess but...I don't know ma'am.
Many women are currently in relationships and those, "...do you see us spending our life together?" talks and that's good...if you and him are on the same page. Let me be honest here for a second: a lot of you beautiful, ambitious, hard working, educated, sexy women deserve the world and everything in it but, don't deserve a ring. Now some of you will get that ring, while others, just won't and you (meaning the woman) will be to blame. Don't get me wrong, I love marriage and all that comes with it but nowadays with relationships being complicated as much as they are, I can only imagine what marriage is gonna look like. It takes a special kinda woman to hear her guy say, "will you marry me?" and then stick around thereafter, which is why I believe...marriage isn't for everyone. Some of our parents marriages didn't work and hell, some of you reading this may have journeyed down that road and it didn't work but that should never turn you off to the idea. With that being said...
*class is in session*
Society has helped f*** up everything that was once considered good to us. Going to the strip club, sodas, Big Gulps, eating white bread, fried foods, McDonalds, and more importantly, relationships. Relationships have sustained a lot of problems because of society and individuals in society. You know what else plays a part in this as well? Social networks! Yup, I said it, social networks! Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, MySpace (yup, you read right), and hell, even Aim! Then you look at celebs and their relationships/weddings being televised that don't last that long, and although they're just like you and me, it makes me wonder: are marriages made to last? I'll answer that question later but too many times I've seen women drag men thru the dirt and back and turn down good guys left and right. I love you ladies, really I do, but too many of you are running your mouths (which run men away) and catch attitudes instead of talking things over (which run men away) and expect to hear those 4 words: will you marry me? Haaaaa!
While its true that a women's brain matures faster, when it comes to handling certain personal issues...(some) women can't seem to get it right. So, today I bring to you: reasons why you WON'T get a ring but you'll get a bacon, egg, & cheese, a threesome, and your master's degree before you get a man to propose...
BREATHE (1 and to the 2, 2 and to the 3):
I, as a man, am not a fan of being smothered by my significant other and I'm sure other men would concur. Actually, I don't think ANYBODY else does for that matter! Now we all know communication is key, but when you do it too much ladies, it becomes a problem. Constant questions, about the same sh*t just worded differently is annoying.
"Hey babe, what you doin?"
10 mins later
"Still watchin tv babe?"
10 mins later
"Babe, this is why I can't watch the news because they always got some bad s*** on...wyd??"
That's that sh*t I don't like!
When you do too much, that's when we begin to move away and I mean farrr away! Guys need room to breathe because being too over bearing isn't welcomed in a relationship. It's kinda like being micromanaged at work, ain't nobody got time for that. For example: if he doesn't respond ASAP to your text, don't throw up a post taking indirectly about him, that's petty. If he wants time to himself, let him be. If he wants to go out with the homies, let him be. Just because you're in a relationship, doesn't mean you need to spend every single minute WITH that person...everyone needs their space.
"Cause tonight ba-by, I wanna get FREAKY with youuuu!":
Men like women who can be a lady in the streets but a freak in the bed! That whole, "9-5" and then come home and cook up a meal and then be able to show him "what that mouth do" routine...quite sexy. There (hand clap) is (hand clap) nothing (hand clap) wrong (hand clap) with (hand clap) getting (hand clap) freaky (hand clap) for (hand clap) your (hand clap) man! I'm not saying you have to put on a production every night but at least have an open mind and be a lil adventurous...in the bedroom, at the movies, at your friend's wedding reception, on the F train coming back from Coney Island, you know, places like that. Giving him missionary sex and then "spicing" it up by letting him do doggy, aint gon keep him. Lap dances, strip teases, hell, send him random twerk videos but make sure you're doing whatever it is you have to do to keep the relationship afloat! And know this: whatever you WON'T do, another female (and her friend) will...seriously.
T-R-U-S-T:
Trust is needed in every aspect of our lives, especially in relationships. Without trust, you virtually have nothing. Now, let me make this CRYSTAL clear
Until you've got a good enough reason and when I say good enough reason, I mean, a female sending you a video of YOUR man deep sea diving in her sea of love, you have no reason to NOT trust him! Now I know (some of) you have trust issues because of past relationships, I know that and I'm sorry to hear that but you have no reason to NOT trust when he hasn't given you a reason to not be trusted. If you know you have problems trusting, don't get into a relationship because it will ultimately screw it up in the long run. It's one thing if your man is d***in down Tanya, Sarah, Marie, and loud mouth Gwen from your job and you have probable cause but if he's faithful, let him be. The more you come to him with false allegations about "what you found (didn't find)" in his phone, the more you push him away, and I mean farrrr away!
...and speaking of phone
"So, ummm, who's this b****!?":
Ladies, I can't stress this enough: leave the damn phone a-loneee!
What happens if he lets you check it tho? - student in the back
If he lets you check it, fine.
But what happens if he lets you check it AND you find something? - same student.
The better question is, are you LOOKING for something to find? Because if you are, then shame on you. If you happen to find something and you wholeheartedly feel it is not right and needs to be questioned, go for it. But the problem is that, when he DOESN'T allow you to go thru his phone and you do so anyways because you got a "hunch"...h-h-h-hunch yo ass over that stove and make a meatloaf with you nosey ass! Didn't you graduate with a Masters in Education? So why are you snooping around sh*t like you auditioning for Law & Order? Don't try to hack his Twitter, don't go to old pics on Instagram and see if he's been conversing with any females (fellas, make sure you're deleting those convos), don't search thru his emails and go thru his trash to see if you can find a possible "lead", nor should you check his pockets...that went out in the 90s. In other words, relive your Carmen Sandiego childhood fantasies elsewhere, not in your relationship. I know (some of) you work but for the ones that don't, make sure your place is up to par.
Woman Up:
Just like you're quick to tell us to "man up," ladies: woman, the, F***, UP! It's more than putting on a pair of heels or making sure you're not over-doing it with your make-up or making sure your dress hugs your curves, it's more than that. Women are nurturing, kind, caring individuals first and foremost. If your man likes to eat, cook. If you can't cook, learn. Go to a bookstore and buy a cook book and read the directions, it's really that simple. I'm not talking that minute rice with the Tyson's frozen "ready to cook wings, just thaw out and cook in the oven for 40-45 mins" bs either. I'm talking, a REAL, meal! Also, keep things clean. If you don't work as much as your man, it's your job to keep things nice and neat. Sure, he can do the same too, but that's a whole different blog in itself. It's your job to do everything (not so much anything) that YOU can, to keep YOUR man happy. Not a n**** or a boy, but your man. And men...make sure you're meeting her half way too because what you won't do...I will! (just joking, but...not really)
Lastly,
Relationship Problems & Social Networks Don't Mix:
...just like two d***s and a horse (extreme, I know). But in all seriousness the two do not belong together whatsoever. The moment your bring your relationship problems to social media is the moment you allow others to voice their 2 cents into whatever is going on in YOUR relationship. Sure, talking to your friends and family sometimes works but do you think people on Twitter care about what's going on between you and your man? No. Instagram and Facebook aren't places to vent either. Why might you ask...because you're not in a relationship with then, you're in a relationship WITH HIM! The moment you take to throwing dirt on him via social networks, is the moment you've decided that the relationship needed non expert advice from motherf****s who are more than likely to hit you up saying, "hey girl! I hope you make it thru whatever you're going thru because you can do bad all by yaself girl!" or "hey, if you need to talk about anything, I'm here for you. I mean, if he's no good for you, maybe you need to be with me...jk jk...but hit me up tho." Keep all problems off of social networks, plain and simple.
Ladies, please don't take offense to what has been said, take heed. These are just some of the reasons why guys aren't dropping to one knee and asking for your hand in marriage quicker than a stripper for some dollars. In order to enter any relationship, you must first love yourself because when you don't, you don't allow yourself to be loved the way you want. Relationships are about compromise, amongst other things. Check your insecurties before you try to check his. Be truthful with yourself before you even begin to be truthful with him. Relationships are a two way street...don't drive him down a dead end.
Feedback is welcomed...all the time, anytime and if you need advise, hit my email up as well! I would love to chat.
@renaissance_brotha_
If you are easily offended...this blog is not for you.
Me: How long have y'all been going out again, 5 years?
Friend: Aww, you remembered Ant!
Me: I did! Has he mentioned or even hinted at a ring appearing anytime soon?
Friend: Nooo! We've been off and on so much, I don't know if that's a possibility but I...
Me: ...love him!
Friend: Why you say it like that? I mean, I see him proposing to me, I mean, why wouldn't he? We've been together for so long!
Me: I guess but...I don't know ma'am.
Many women are currently in relationships and those, "...do you see us spending our life together?" talks and that's good...if you and him are on the same page. Let me be honest here for a second: a lot of you beautiful, ambitious, hard working, educated, sexy women deserve the world and everything in it but, don't deserve a ring. Now some of you will get that ring, while others, just won't and you (meaning the woman) will be to blame. Don't get me wrong, I love marriage and all that comes with it but nowadays with relationships being complicated as much as they are, I can only imagine what marriage is gonna look like. It takes a special kinda woman to hear her guy say, "will you marry me?" and then stick around thereafter, which is why I believe...marriage isn't for everyone. Some of our parents marriages didn't work and hell, some of you reading this may have journeyed down that road and it didn't work but that should never turn you off to the idea. With that being said...
*class is in session*
Society has helped f*** up everything that was once considered good to us. Going to the strip club, sodas, Big Gulps, eating white bread, fried foods, McDonalds, and more importantly, relationships. Relationships have sustained a lot of problems because of society and individuals in society. You know what else plays a part in this as well? Social networks! Yup, I said it, social networks! Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, MySpace (yup, you read right), and hell, even Aim! Then you look at celebs and their relationships/weddings being televised that don't last that long, and although they're just like you and me, it makes me wonder: are marriages made to last? I'll answer that question later but too many times I've seen women drag men thru the dirt and back and turn down good guys left and right. I love you ladies, really I do, but too many of you are running your mouths (which run men away) and catch attitudes instead of talking things over (which run men away) and expect to hear those 4 words: will you marry me? Haaaaa!
While its true that a women's brain matures faster, when it comes to handling certain personal issues...(some) women can't seem to get it right. So, today I bring to you: reasons why you WON'T get a ring but you'll get a bacon, egg, & cheese, a threesome, and your master's degree before you get a man to propose...
BREATHE (1 and to the 2, 2 and to the 3):
I, as a man, am not a fan of being smothered by my significant other and I'm sure other men would concur. Actually, I don't think ANYBODY else does for that matter! Now we all know communication is key, but when you do it too much ladies, it becomes a problem. Constant questions, about the same sh*t just worded differently is annoying.
"Hey babe, what you doin?"
10 mins later
"Still watchin tv babe?"
10 mins later
"Babe, this is why I can't watch the news because they always got some bad s*** on...wyd??"
That's that sh*t I don't like!
When you do too much, that's when we begin to move away and I mean farrr away! Guys need room to breathe because being too over bearing isn't welcomed in a relationship. It's kinda like being micromanaged at work, ain't nobody got time for that. For example: if he doesn't respond ASAP to your text, don't throw up a post taking indirectly about him, that's petty. If he wants time to himself, let him be. If he wants to go out with the homies, let him be. Just because you're in a relationship, doesn't mean you need to spend every single minute WITH that person...everyone needs their space.
"Cause tonight ba-by, I wanna get FREAKY with youuuu!":
Men like women who can be a lady in the streets but a freak in the bed! That whole, "9-5" and then come home and cook up a meal and then be able to show him "what that mouth do" routine...quite sexy. There (hand clap) is (hand clap) nothing (hand clap) wrong (hand clap) with (hand clap) getting (hand clap) freaky (hand clap) for (hand clap) your (hand clap) man! I'm not saying you have to put on a production every night but at least have an open mind and be a lil adventurous...in the bedroom, at the movies, at your friend's wedding reception, on the F train coming back from Coney Island, you know, places like that. Giving him missionary sex and then "spicing" it up by letting him do doggy, aint gon keep him. Lap dances, strip teases, hell, send him random twerk videos but make sure you're doing whatever it is you have to do to keep the relationship afloat! And know this: whatever you WON'T do, another female (and her friend) will...seriously.
T-R-U-S-T:
Trust is needed in every aspect of our lives, especially in relationships. Without trust, you virtually have nothing. Now, let me make this CRYSTAL clear
Until you've got a good enough reason and when I say good enough reason, I mean, a female sending you a video of YOUR man deep sea diving in her sea of love, you have no reason to NOT trust him! Now I know (some of) you have trust issues because of past relationships, I know that and I'm sorry to hear that but you have no reason to NOT trust when he hasn't given you a reason to not be trusted. If you know you have problems trusting, don't get into a relationship because it will ultimately screw it up in the long run. It's one thing if your man is d***in down Tanya, Sarah, Marie, and loud mouth Gwen from your job and you have probable cause but if he's faithful, let him be. The more you come to him with false allegations about "what you found (didn't find)" in his phone, the more you push him away, and I mean farrrr away!
...and speaking of phone
"So, ummm, who's this b****!?":
Ladies, I can't stress this enough: leave the damn phone a-loneee!
What happens if he lets you check it tho? - student in the back
If he lets you check it, fine.
But what happens if he lets you check it AND you find something? - same student.
The better question is, are you LOOKING for something to find? Because if you are, then shame on you. If you happen to find something and you wholeheartedly feel it is not right and needs to be questioned, go for it. But the problem is that, when he DOESN'T allow you to go thru his phone and you do so anyways because you got a "hunch"...h-h-h-hunch yo ass over that stove and make a meatloaf with you nosey ass! Didn't you graduate with a Masters in Education? So why are you snooping around sh*t like you auditioning for Law & Order? Don't try to hack his Twitter, don't go to old pics on Instagram and see if he's been conversing with any females (fellas, make sure you're deleting those convos), don't search thru his emails and go thru his trash to see if you can find a possible "lead", nor should you check his pockets...that went out in the 90s. In other words, relive your Carmen Sandiego childhood fantasies elsewhere, not in your relationship. I know (some of) you work but for the ones that don't, make sure your place is up to par.
Woman Up:
Just like you're quick to tell us to "man up," ladies: woman, the, F***, UP! It's more than putting on a pair of heels or making sure you're not over-doing it with your make-up or making sure your dress hugs your curves, it's more than that. Women are nurturing, kind, caring individuals first and foremost. If your man likes to eat, cook. If you can't cook, learn. Go to a bookstore and buy a cook book and read the directions, it's really that simple. I'm not talking that minute rice with the Tyson's frozen "ready to cook wings, just thaw out and cook in the oven for 40-45 mins" bs either. I'm talking, a REAL, meal! Also, keep things clean. If you don't work as much as your man, it's your job to keep things nice and neat. Sure, he can do the same too, but that's a whole different blog in itself. It's your job to do everything (not so much anything) that YOU can, to keep YOUR man happy. Not a n**** or a boy, but your man. And men...make sure you're meeting her half way too because what you won't do...I will! (just joking, but...not really)
Lastly,
Relationship Problems & Social Networks Don't Mix:
...just like two d***s and a horse (extreme, I know). But in all seriousness the two do not belong together whatsoever. The moment your bring your relationship problems to social media is the moment you allow others to voice their 2 cents into whatever is going on in YOUR relationship. Sure, talking to your friends and family sometimes works but do you think people on Twitter care about what's going on between you and your man? No. Instagram and Facebook aren't places to vent either. Why might you ask...because you're not in a relationship with then, you're in a relationship WITH HIM! The moment you take to throwing dirt on him via social networks, is the moment you've decided that the relationship needed non expert advice from motherf****s who are more than likely to hit you up saying, "hey girl! I hope you make it thru whatever you're going thru because you can do bad all by yaself girl!" or "hey, if you need to talk about anything, I'm here for you. I mean, if he's no good for you, maybe you need to be with me...jk jk...but hit me up tho." Keep all problems off of social networks, plain and simple.
Ladies, please don't take offense to what has been said, take heed. These are just some of the reasons why guys aren't dropping to one knee and asking for your hand in marriage quicker than a stripper for some dollars. In order to enter any relationship, you must first love yourself because when you don't, you don't allow yourself to be loved the way you want. Relationships are about compromise, amongst other things. Check your insecurties before you try to check his. Be truthful with yourself before you even begin to be truthful with him. Relationships are a two way street...don't drive him down a dead end.
Feedback is welcomed...all the time, anytime and if you need advise, hit my email up as well! I would love to chat.
@renaissance_brotha_
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