So She Cheated on You, With Dave From Work

*class is in session*

Whenever you hear there’s been cheating in a relationship, I'm almost certain your mind jumps directly to placing blame on the man!

"DAMN! I wonder how SHE’S doin”…or “Just like a dude to cheat, mmhmm…they all DOGS!”

Yes, dudes cheat, just like the person who didn't bother to study in Math class for the test, but is psst'in at you for the answers to numbers 1-25! Truth be told tho... this isn't always the case. I will be the very first to admit that (some) men ain't (worth) sh*t! I will also be the first to admit that (some) females ain't (worth) sh*t! Just because society paints the picture that men cheat more times than women, doesn't negate the fact that a woman will creep her ass into the bed of a man who is NOT her own; it just proves that society sucks.

- a man will usually cheat based on how a woman looks, i.e. how big her breast and ass are and if she will arch her back and point her toes all night.

- a woman will usually cheat based on how emotionally secure she feels in the relationship/marriage, trust, yada yada.

SnappleFact #99 - Females are more emotional than males, so the tendency for a woman to cheat, is far more greater than that of a man.

Before you get up and arms ladies, take a second to actually consider what has JUST been said...

When you think about how cheating begins for a female, it's usually based outta emotions. Not the physical aspect of things, but E-MO-TIONS! Just because you’re not sleeping in his bed or vice versa, doesn't mean it’s not cheating, cause it is…it’s emotional cheating and that ladies, constitutes as cheating. So what happens if a guy is actually faithful to his woman and he finds out she’s been creepin' around like TLC in the 90s? Well, continue to read...

Now, have I cheated on someone? YES, and I will leave it at that because contrary to popular belief, when you're young and dumb, cheating is justifiable. Now before you stop reading, know that it was emotionally and I actually told my partner. She didn't find out elsewhere; she wasn't on MySpace lurkin'. She wasn't hittin' up the girls in my top 8. I mean sh*t, she wasn't even on FB going crazy every time a female friend posted on my wall. We had a convo, I admitted to her how I felt and guess what happened...

WE WORKED IT OUT! It took us sometime to get past it but guess what else...we did,

But I digress...

Now have I been cheated on...hell-mother-f***in' yes! Till this day it hurts because in my mind: I was doing everything a BF was suppose to be doing at the time (early 20s). A man canf*** a 100 different women but the moment, and I mean the very moment his woman steps out on him and into the bed with another man and he finds out, he's devastated! Wanna hurt a man's ego ladies: tell'em his pee-pee is small, his hairline is receding, he's a bum, or that you had sex with some other man.

"Yeaaaa, that's why I cheated on you with the bartender from Friday's and his penis was better and bigger and your brother wanna get with me!"

The chances of her actually cheating with the good lookin' guy who sits across from her in class is slim. 7/10: she's gonna cheat because there's a lack of understanding in the relationship/marriage.

When you think about how two people who have an interest in each other transition from being friends and then to GF/BF and then husband and wife, you think about this:

D-irection

U-nderstanding
T-rust
C-ommunication
H-onesty

Now I won't go into detail about what D.U.T.C.H. is because the book drops next year and future blogs explain yada yada yada but, when there's a lack of direction, that takes a toll on the understanding the two of you have as a couple. Because a man is not “Mr. Right (Now)”, women will seek comfort in "Mr. For The Moment" aka a dude that can AND will give her all the attention and time she yearns for. If she’s cheated with someone else and the feelings that have been developed are emotionally based and you find out and decide to stick around and work it out; man, I hope you been baggin' chicks off Instagram or Twitter because it now will become THAT much harder to put up with her afterwards; sh*t I know this from experience. I remember have a convo with one of my homeboy's, who was cheated on for whatever reason(s) and he asked me, “how do you stay w/ her B, when she loves someone else?” (sounds like the beginning to a love song right?

If you love her and she's on board to make things better, do it, but if you know deep down you won't be able to trust her the same, don't even waste your time. If you poll men on your IG timeline or your Twitter followers or your FB friends right now and asked them, "would you stay with your women if she cheated?" I put money on it that a good majority of them would say no. On the flipside tho: females will stay and try to make things better until their mind and heart tells them to leave. I've said it before: without trust, you have nothing! Trust is like the cheese...in Mac n' Cheese

For MOST guys, we don't wanna have to think about another man spending time with our woman especially if they're like...

• model like in the face
• tall in height
• comedic sense of humor
• body of a Greek god
• can hold a note like Justin Timberlake

Me personally...

I'm putting a tracking device on you because who knows what you're capable of and if you think @DjSinCity718 is some dude from the Bronx...yo monkey ass better guess again!

Cheating on a man does damage ladies! We can't just, "man up!" after finding out you let you some ol' dude from the club eat ya ass; that was our Friday night thing! Dudes will either:

A) try to work things out

B) be hurt and move on

or C) turn into doosh-bags

and more times than none, dudes will become dogs. #FoodForThought: what you do, will always dictate & have an impact in the lives of others.

When you think about what kills guys the most when it comes to relationships: it's pride and ego. Ego tells them, "you know how good you look? She cheated on you, bro, that b**** wasn't sh*t to begin with!". Pride tells them, "you know you love her more than Kanye loves to rant...but right now, you hate her more than Kanye hates the paparazzi...let that hoe go bro."

I'll be the first one to admit: men aren't that smart when it comes to matters of the heart. Most men (yes, MOST) aren't looking for signs of their woman cheating unless the signs are completely obvious and I mean they have to be on some,

*text message to her phone reads*

"It was good seeing you babe last nite...I love the way you sucked my d*** till it came hehe... i shuda warned u babe. We on for Sunday afternoon still?"

I remember seeing that text on one of my ex GF's phone when I was checking to see what time it was. Till this day, she doesn't know I know that text was sent (unless she's reading this, which I doubt it).

The point is, no dude is gonna hawk a woman's social networks every other hour on the hour; that's what chicks do. Women cheat for many different reasons but what we as men have to stop doing is allowing that situation to change us into something we're not! There's never a need to take it out on the next one. There's never a need to lie to ourselves when we know good-and-damn-well we're not completely over the pain from the past. I know some of the hardest of men who still can't keep a woman because of that one girl who treated them wrong. I've been thru enough to know that sometimes, sh*t ain't worth repairing with someone because deep down inside, you know that person ain't worth sh*t! Sticking around after the hurt shows you're forgiving and leaving shows a sign of maturity and acceptance. Don't stick around because you think it's the right thing to do, hell, you'll end up f***in yourself up even more and that's far worse than lying to yourself. Never get yourself into the habit of lying to yourself...because once you go searching for that truth, it'll be hard to find.

@renaissance_brotha_

LionCheetah

I am a man that is flawed. I speak, from experience. Life, has taught me a great deal. I will never profess to be a man that knows all, just a man who has been thru a lot and has learned a lot more from life and its experiences. This blog is a reflection of growth and maturity as a MAN; not that of a man who "thinks he knows everything."

*class is in session*


There are many reasons as to why relationships end:

•cheating•lying•stability•trust

among other things. LionCheetah simply means: lying-cheater - two of the biggest reasons why WOMEN, decide to throw in the towel. The following explains other reasons why women leave men.

babe...babe...BABE!!!
What I've Learned...is that women CRAVE attention, especially from their man! They love it when you notice things that they've done, for example: change in hairstyle, eyebrows touched up, fresh mani/pedi, cleaning, the time & effort she took to cook something YOU like, when that's NOT her expertise, and so on and so forth. Many times we overlook these things, but the more YOU overlook them, the MORE she'll be looking to someone else who will notice. Sometimes, she just wants you to listen to her talk and maybe input here and there; communication is key! She notices the lack of communication, you better believe she'll communicate to someone who isn't so lackluster and actually gives a damn. If you don't want to continuously give her the wrong impression, you better give her that love & affection or live with the fact that another man will.

"I'm feeling really un-ap-preci-aaated"
What I've Learned...is that you should never and I mean NEVER take the one you love for granted nor should you make her feel unappreciated by YOUR actions and words! If you have a woman who is willing to do for you before she even considers herself; she's a keeper! I've said this in other blogs but I feel like this needs to be said on a continuing basis: it's the lil things that matter the most! What you don't see: is all the stuff she does for you while IN the relationship. What you do see (after the two of you are broken up): is all the stuff she DID for you, while IN the relationship. Don't wait till it's too late to recognize/realize what she does for you. What Drake say, "Better late than never, but never late is better,"...and I know how you dudes LOVE quoting rap lyrics; so take heed to that. Learn to love the one you're with or live to learn from the one you had.

"Why you gotta lie to me?":
What I've Learned...is that back in the day, Toni Braxton was right as a motherf**** ! Lying will get you nowhere fast but with a bottle of lotion, tissues for your "issues", and old scenes of porn stars f***ing the life outta each other for hours. Let me be the first to tell you: a relationship can't stand the test of time if the foundation is built on lies. If she can't trust your word as her man...what kinda man are you? Fellas: without trust, you don't have much of a relationship. When you think about why most friendships fall apart among men, you look at that fact that men value honesty MOST among each other. Now, when you think about relationships and why they fall apart between men and women: it's because someone isn't being honest (I won't gender specify). Honesty is the anchor in a relation-SHIP, and if we as men can't be TRUSTED to be HONEST with the woman in our lives...we shouldn't expect her to stick around.

"I should have cheeeeaaa-ted"
What I've Learned...is that Keyshia Cole had women wanting to cheat like a motherf****! Cheating tends to happen for many reasons and one of the main reasons WHY it happens...is because something isn't right (goes wrong) in the relationship. And what do we as men tend to do? Find something that IS right, in between the legs of the WRONG person! Once again: this is where communication comes into play and why it's soooo very important to communicate with your partner. When your woman finds out about your indiscretions, the bridge you've built to get to her, becomes damaged. That same bridge that was ever-so pretty to cross, is fragile to the touch. All the "sorrys" won't work and all the candy/flowers can't help. If you have a problem, LET IT BE KNOWN!

Emotional Rollercoaster:
What I've Learned...is that an emotional disconnect in the relationship happens more times than we even know it. We as men tend to deal with emotions different, from that of a woman:

•smoke/drink
•play video games•hit the strip club•drive around and listen to music•punch a wall•hit the gym

We are taught as men that we shouldn't cry when something is the matter; women are taught differently. I'm not saying you should cry when she doesn't want to give you the ass when you want it, I'm saying don't run ya silly ass out and cheat because she won't give you the ass! Support, support, SUPPORT! She needs to feel needed, loved, and have that emotional connection with you so that she can feel safe and secure and more importantly, comfortable enough to share. If you can't be the one she leans on...she (hand clap) will (hand clap) find (hand clap) companionship (hand clap) elsewhere, plain and simple.

"Sex ain't better than looveee..."
What I've Learned...is that love conquers a lot (not all, contrary to popular belief). Sex is cool, don't get me wrong, but it isn't everything. Sometimes, she doesn't want you to come over (vice versa) and have you hump away at her. Sometimes, she just wants to cuddle...and then maybe you hump away at her. Seriously, there's this word that many men are unfamiliar with and it's called *intimacy*. Sometimes, you'll have to make love to mind and not her body. Sometimes, you'll have to make her soul feel like everything before you never mattered because you're the only she wants NOW! Take it from me: the more she grows unsatisfied with your lack of intimacy, the less...well, you get the picture.

Gri-ming (grind + timing):What I've Learned...is that women love when you make time for them and respect you even more when you're on your grind (one who is driven; ambitious). We spend all this time trying to get her to see us for who we are and what we're about and after we get her...we tend to fall off. We put "hanging out with the boys," over "dinner for two" and that right there, is a no no. I'm not saying neglect your friends altogether, but know there's a time to chill with them and a time to chill with her and the prior should never come before the latter. Spending time is important because you continue to build upon the foundation you've created. What happens in relationships is that, we as men work our asses off to get the woman we want and then we slack. We don't maintain our appearance (women are guilty of this too), we don't go out as often (guilty myself), and we tend to allow her to pick up the slack (guilty myself). Now on the other hand, you know how sexy drive is to a woman! My friend once told me, "if I didn't have a BF, I would be with you because you're always pushing yourself to do better...unlike this lazy mother(SHUTYOMOUTH)!" One of the main reasons Michelle stayed with Barack was because she saw the potential in him. If we as men are ambitious about buying materialistic things, we should be even MORE driven to further our education and/or progress in our career goals. She'll love you for your ambition...or leave you for you lack of.

You ain't s*** with me and you ain't gon be s*** without me:What I've Learned...is that verbal and physical abuse is never the answer. I've never put my hands on a woman but verbally...I've been a monster!!! It's not something I'm proud of but when you're angry, those very words that you suppress, become your weapons of mass destruction! Any man that puts his hands on a woman, is a coward. Any man that talks, before he thinks, is a man who hasn't learned that the tongue is as mighty as a sword. No woman should put up with any kinda abuse, period but know this ladies: what you will allow, will continue.

Communication is key! I will continue to say that in every relationship piece I post because it is valuable and critical! If you as a woman are stuck between a rock and a hard place; talk things out. If he's not with the talking, the relationship isn't for you. The point I'm trying to make is that you should do everything on YOUR end to make sure the relationship is working and if that isn't happening, after some time...maybe with him, is not where you want to be. If he ain't gon love you, the way he should, let him gooooo.

@renaissance_brotha_