Is You Dumb Or Nah

*class is in session*

Since I’ve started this website, better yet, since I’ve started blogging, the reception from women has been great! I’m talking, “OMG Anthony, you saved me so much heartache by switching to not giving a f***!” Ok, maybe not that exactly, but you get the point. Even with all the success, I still get those texts or phone calls or emails from women at crazy times like, “I’m sorry to wake you but I just can’t deal! I think my man is cheating and I mean, I checked his emails and there are naked women in there, he got bitches CALLIN at weird times, like, I was givin him head and O-M-G Ant, I seen some chick named Tori calling him at 1...AM...1! What should I do? I-I cant bring myself to leave him alone!”

Bitch is you dumb? Like really…bitch, is you dumb!?

As much as I wanna see women win, too many of you ladies are allowing men to treat you just any ol' way and you seem perfectly fine with it. Ladies, I love ya'll but some of ya'll...ain’t S***! Ya’ll (claps hands) never (claps hands ) learn (claps hands, claps hands)!

No matter how much sh*t these dudes put ya’ll thru, ya'll keep going back for more and more and I know love is strong but lets talk about BEFORE you even fall in love with the guy; is you dumb or nah? A lot of you ladies have a bark that rings loud but a bite that is equivalent to that of a teething child. To all the, “I can’t leave him cuz I love him even tho he’s been doing me wrong since we’ve been dating,” women of the world, this blog is for you.

according to single ass Renee

 

Your girlfriends, yo momma, yo sister(s), yo granny, yo co-workers will all tell you that you can do better but honestly...they're lying to ya ass! You’re in a bad relationship, you’ve been in one for a long period of time and every single time something goes wrong, they break out the lil’ ass violin and spring that, “girl don’t worry about it, you’ll be fine, you can do better” sh*t on you like that's suppose to inspire some change in you; bruh! I’m all for motivation and what not but here’s the thing: you can’t TEACH self worth! You know what fear is? Fear is knowing that the guy that treats you like garbage will one day stop treating you like such and he will leave. When you have self worth and you realize this, you brush it off and go on with your life but when you don't...you wallow in your tears. This applies to women with college degrees, women who collect welfare checks, and every other kind in-between; you’re no different. White, Black, Latino, Asian, Middle Eastern, Native American...you're no different. Every damn Friday or Saturday there’s a female, at home, waiting for her man to get in after being out all night, smelling like liquor, stripper ass, and cheap cologne so she can curse him out and have make up sex! That is her LIFE! “I’m sorry I did you wrong” sex and breakfast in the morning and a few nights of “let me hide my tongue in the crack of your ass” will hold her over until the next argument. Now most don't understand why this happens because a lot of women haven't experienced this (yet). I’m here to tell you this: you havveee to stop giving people credit for knowing their worth; period! I can give you the numbers to a bunch of great men who will treat you like a queen but if yo ass has a ton of baggage, you don’t love yourself enough to allow a man to love you, you have no self worth…what’s the point? By your friends telling you, “you can do better yada yada,” you will go home and STILL text/call the dude that does you wrong on a daily basis! Misery doesn’t only love company…it turns you women ON! What you also gotta think about is if she’s only had a handful of BFs in her life:

• Sean: was her first love but it didn’t last long
• Mark: a rebound to help get over Sean who was ok, but eh
• Keith: college sweetheart who treated her ok but cheated too damn much
• Tony: great guy but...he didn't satisfy her sexually so she cheated and he found out and took her back...

So, she dumps Tony and is now with her current...John:
a combination of all the previous guys she’s ever been with mixed with his own style and personality. He’s mediocre and she knows that but guess what? It sure as hell beats being with those other guys despite the fact that she still gets treated like s***. Settling is what we call this folks.

Honestly, some of you ladies are only as good as the men you’ve actually been with. You take a person who flips burgers and make them a general manager, I mean, sure, to someone who has been a general manager before, that might not mean much but to that regular ol' burger flipping employee? That means the WORLD and then some; same thing goes for these females. He might not be making a lot of money, hell, he might not even be MCM (Man Crush Monday) material but if he is texting her sweet good mornings and chatting with her on the phone at night and calling her pretty, I mean that right there is enough (for some women) to feel like a queen...

HA, how blinded is she!


oh no bitch you stupid

Any woman that can sit there and tell you to your damn face that, “he’s a good liar” or something else along those lines in order to save face from looking stupid, like we don't know what's going on...needs to be shot. That playing victim sh*t is weak. Once you allow him to slide and slide like he’s a damn baseball player with sh*t upon sh*t and and then play victim: you have a problem. I couldn’t see the chalkboard as kid and blamed bad grades on everybody/thing BUT myself and my father whipped MY ass. I didn’t wanna look like little gay Urkel with glasses, so, I never said anything. You know who suffered and who had a sore ass? Me! Just like you women who allow guys to say whatever and do whatever and you KNOW it ain’t right; you suffer, not him. He’s gonna continue to have sex withwhatshername. He’s gonna continue to use your car when you gotta go to school to go chill with his boys and come pick yo ass up late. No one cared if I got a C- in Math because I couldn’t see and no one cares if you marry dumbass Darren.

You know what men are good at:

• Getting mad over sports
• Letting our pride get the best of us
• And manipulating women

There’s not a man alive who hasn’t “tested” their woman. A man will try you, just to see how dumb yo ass is and see what he can and can not get away with. He’ll stop texting, he’ll stop calling, he’ll stay out later and later, he’ll start to flirt with other women more and more, he’ll call you out your name, hell, he’ll even say some off the wall mess about another woman in front of you! If he is successful with getting away with the behavior, it will continue. It’ll go from: double tapping a pic on Instagram and leaving "flirty emojis"…to you bringing it up to him…to him in her DM getting the number…to you "finding" a nude pic of her in his photos…to you bringing it up to him…to him going out with his boys…and you finding out from one of his boy's GF that the boys are actually in Miami for the weekend, tryna convince D. Wade to come to NY…to you bringing it up to him…to him denying everything and calling you crazy…to you two arguing…to you guys having sex…to him doing the same exact sh*t gain a month later…to you finding out and saying nothing.

You might laugh and say that’s not real, but it happens all the damn time and it could very much be your situation right now…but that’s no business of mine.

If you keep looking the other way and settling for make up sex and thinking that will ease the pain; you're stupid. Stevie Wonder is blind, so, he gets a pass but you…YOU?!? You don't get a pass for allowing yourself to be mistreated and blaming him and not blaming yourself! You think by looking the other way, not saying anything that he will eventually hang himself with the rope you've been giving him but boo boo...his ass will take that rope you gave him and hang you and move on to the next one. At some point, you'll decide to do something but he knows how to bring you down from level 10 to a 2 and guess what? You don’t have the ovaries to leave his ass. At this point he doesn’t think you’re dumb- oh noo, he knows it! “I’m not stupid, I know what you’re doing!!! I know you f***in whatshername off of Twitter Brian!” is like telling the bully, “I walk home by myself so if you wanna beat me up, you can,” instead of telling someone about the bullying. Stop letting s**t slide.

and you thought Yvette had it bad...bruh!

 

And why should he!? All that crying, man, you just want someone to feel sorry for that ass. You run crying to him and what...he's gonna magically care? No! Wipe them tears and realize this guy’s actions and words don’t go hand-in-hand. Saying he cares and actually giving a damn are not the same thing, but you don’t understand that. How do you know if someone cares? They show it! If you’re hungry- you get something to eat. You tired- you take a damn nap. Sex, getting your ass ate, some designer bag, and a movie/dinner date will never ever be enough to fix long-term relationship problems; just saying. Now of course he cares about you…he cares if you die! He will continue to dick you down and rub your shoulders and allow you to sleep on his chest after it’s all said and done. A man who shows you respect at all times…is deserving of your love…not just your vagina and mouth. You think because you look good in a selfie, he won't cheat? You think because you suck his penis every damn day, he won't creep? There's more to it...no...there's LEVELS to this relationship sh**! Don't feed me that love ish when love has you miserable. YES, men eff up but on a man who f***s up on a consistent damn basis is not the man for you!

...according to WHO!?!

I’ve seen this on Instagram so much man, it’s just hilarious. I love a woman with confidence but never should that be confused with…idk, ummm, egotistical arrogance. Your ego will keep you single ladies and your ego will keep you in a relationship that should've been done a long damn time ago! You Let Beyoncé tell you that his ass CAN be replaced if and when he f***s up and guess what? He still drinking the OJ and eating up all the pasta noodles with fried hot dogs and using his check to go to the club to buy drinks! This dude has had the free range to do whatever and say whatever to you for years and the threats you come up with get thrown out the window, why? Because the moment you muster up the courage to be Wonder Woman…you’re ass naked getting penis Moon Walked inside of you. Regret losing you? Bitch, he hardly cares that he has you! These men don’t respect you women and you expect one of these dudes to give you a ring…bitch is you dumb?! We can’t control the weather- but we can control who we decide to deal with (cliché), how? OPEN YOUR EYES TO HIS SH*T! You living with a man that doesn't respect you; you're dumb. He gives you penis and not an apology; you're dumb. He cheats on you and you KNOW he's lying when he's telling you no and you let it go till months later and threaten to leave but don't; you're dumb. You giving a dude money and he's using it to do the complete opposite of what he said he would be doing with it and you KEEP giving him money and then complain to him that he's using you; you dumb. He puts his hands on you while you argue because he can't control his temper and you're f***ing him hours later; you're dumb.

...but I digress

Can you do better? Yes. Will you do better? Well, that’s dependent on you hun. T.I. has a song about not wanting mediocre and people are responding to him like, “n****…you married Tiny!” You know how many people settle for mediocre? Plenty! You know how many women settle for men that are half-assed? Plenty! There are plenty of great men that will treat you right, I mean, hell, get ya ass up and go out and enjoy life and mingle and start conversations with the cute guy at the bar or on line at Chiptole! A man will accept your flaws but too many of you ladies have this attitude about you like someone owes you something because of what happened in the past with whatshisface. I’m not paying for the crimes of the last douche, so, you better get ya ass in order before you meet me or be working ya ass off towards doing so because the same behavior will continue: the vicious cycle of you being used and abused. You know what the issue for a lot of you single or in bad relationship/marriage women are: your mindset. You put sh** in your mind and call it truth and its nothing more than bull AND sh**, honestly. You’re worried about everything but checking the man you’re with and that’s why you’re looking stupid to others. You’ve been hurt so bad but with these Instagram posts/memes and Rob Hill/Just Mike/Tony G. got ya ass so caught up in your feelings…you don’t know if you wanna be single or go get a dick to replace the vagina you have. WISE UP LADIES! No man will jump through your window and give you his number; it takes going out. No stop fuc*ing you over; it takes leaving his ass and making him learn the hard way. Part of the reason you can’t do better is because you aren’t willing to work for it. You're too afraid, shy, or prideful to put yourself out there, and would rather deal with lames in your comfort level. Finding a better man is too hard, so stick with the one you got until he tosses you to the side. Even after he moves on, complain about how good he used to treat you as if you suddenly got amnesia when it comes to the nights he had you crying your eyes out. I laugh at you types because ya'll are the MAIN ones tryna offer someone advice on how to do better; bitch, shut ya ass up and check your man. I can write a million blogs and you can read them word for word like (some) of you do now and guess what…

Nothing

@renaissnace_brotha_

So I Have This Friend...Whose In a Situationship

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent*

Email from @UHateMe__JoinDaClub

Subject: U give advice…I need some

Hi Renaissance Man, my name is Jasmine and my bestie is in love with your lil blogs so I had to read one for myself and I will say, you got it goin on! They be long, but it covers a lot and I like that you kno what you talkin bout. So, basically I need advice because she said you good with the advice. Me and my man have been together, off and on tho (you kno how that be) for about 3 years now and I love him but I don't feel like we goin nowhere you kno what I mean? Like, he cheated, so I cheated. He be talking to other chicks on the gram, so I talk to other dudes on the gram, its only fair lol. But seriously, idk if you listen to Fab but he has this song called Situation ships and I feel that song fits him and me perfectly you know what I mean. So, if you could, could you help me out a lil, I would appreciate that or if you could. thank you renaissance man!!

So I Have This Friend…Whose In A Situationship

For those who are unaware of what a "situationship" is, ABetterBreedOfMan defines a "situationship" in two different ways...

1) a relationship where both parties argue on a constant basis and can't seem to find a common ground with their differences. You become used to each other after a period of time but you're unsure if things should end, stay as is, or change for the better. It's a "situation" that you KNOW needs to be dealt with more sooner than later, but, you're unsure of how to address the problems at hand.

2) something more than a friendship, with relationship like characteristics, but...without the title. So basically: you're having sex, you're going out on dates, you're getting to know each other, all that good stuff but...the two of you HAVE feelings for each other (and this is known) but, you're not together as boyfriend-girlfriend.

stupid, I know, but I digress...

We've all been in a "situationship" once or twice (some more than others) but this song helps to capture just WHAT a "sitatuinonship" truly is in every essence of it's title. For those who have never heard the song by Brooklyn rapper Fabolous, please take a minute to listen (Situationships) before you read the blog.

Done?

*class is in session*

So, you need advice, here it is...

"and all we do is fuck and argue/Yeah that's it, fuck and argue"

When I first heard this, I thought he was saying, "and all we do is fuckin argue/yea that's it, fuck AND argue," as some sort of play on words but I digress. Arguments usually come from a few different places:

A) misunderstanding
B) miscommunication
C) I was hurt by something you said and or did/didn't do

and so on and so forth. Whatever the reason may be, they always lead to sh** being said, that shouldn't have been said in the first place and you regretting whatever it was that you said in the heat of the moment. You're not thinking, you're mad, so, who cares if I hurt your feelings at the moment because all I wanna do is express how I feel and make YOU understand where I'M coming from. You're not responding from a place of understanding, 9/10 it's coming from a place of hurt and anger, so I'm not even thinking logically, I'm just responding and that's where that misunderstanding of the situation can lead to miscommunication. How might you ask? Because now someone is yelling!

You: "You mad over Instagram?"
Them: "No! I'm mad over how you CARRY yourself ON Instagram!"
You: "That makes no sen..."
Them: "NO, NO, BECAUSE I DON'T CARE! YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME! ALL YOU DO IS FUCKING, BEAT AROUND THE BUSH AND NEVER LISTEN NOR SEE WHAT THE FUCK I BE SAYIN!!!"

An argument can go from 0-60 in no time when things get heated. Things get said...feelings are hurt...days go by...and now there's that awkwardness. What fixes arguments better than Dr. Phil and Iyanla? S-E-X! You're sorry and they're sorry, so, yall end all that with some sex! You remember what happened in Baby Boy: Yvette and Jody was yelling at each other in one scence, "I hate you...I hate you!", next scene... "Oh I love you! (insert moans and screams here)". Point being: arguments and sex go hand in hand...but does sex, ever truly solve anything? I'll get to that later...

"why have somebody lying with me every night/If they just gon be lying to me every night"

Shit ain't right...them long days gon turn into real awkward nights, trust me! Lying is one of the BIGGEST things we as people hate the most but tend to ignore or put on the back burner quite often when it comes to someone we love. Ya'll in bed talking and you ask your partner something that you KNOW they're gonna lie about but for some reason, you let it slide. If you're laying in the bed with a liar, not only is THAT person a liar, but it makes you an even bigger liar because: what was it that you told that person that you hated the most when ya'll first started talking? You hate, LIARS! "If there's one thing I despise the most: its liars!". I know what youre thinking, "well how am I a liar?" well,

1) you told that person you hate liars but you allow the lying to happen and check it half ass
2) how can you know a person is lying to your face and do not a damn thing about it?!? (that's like me robbing you with condom over a banana, and spray painting it black and saying...its a gun; sh** makes no sense!)
3) you're lying about how you feel! Oh, now y'all Eminem and Rihanna huh, you love the way they lie...f*** outta here! Lying to yourself about how you feel doesn't hurt that person, it hurts YOU ya dumbass!

You might be confused now, but I'll bring it together later...

"used to be lovers, now we, used to each other/keep accusing each other, of us, using the other/and what's crazy is, soon as you fall back they crawl back/saying they sorry and want it all back"

Shit ain't right...after awhile, you just become, used to each other. I put up with ya sh*t- because I love you. You come in late and don't say sh*t- because I've grown not to care. Oh, you don't care- well I don't care. After awhile, your partner becomes like, idk...your roommate and you only go to your roommate when you want/need something. That's when you begin to feel like you're being taken advantage of, used even and that's when, sh*t starts to hit the fan. You stop doing for that person, then you break up, and then it turns into, "this is my sorry fooorrr, 2000 (whatever) " or "I'm sorry babe, I, I just wanted to see if you would fight for me,"

Bruh!

***"titles ain't shit if the story don't match it/now you got a itch, looking for a way to scratch it/flirting online hoping shorty don't catch it"

I star this one because this is probably the biggest thing when it comes to "situationships": non-titled relationships. What this means is: you're with someone, you guys have sex, date, you've become friends, you know their friends, you've met the family, you post subliminal messages about each other on social networks, you've met the kids, basically, it's LIKE you're in a relationship but...neither one of you have decided on taking it to that next level. After awhile you'll want something after not wanting, kinda like the female who wants what you're eating, when her ass could've just ordered it her self. Never and I mean never should no male or female accept being in no, "oh i like you but I'm not looking for anything right now, just someone to kick it with and if things go to that level, ima wait for you to say it because that's not what I wanted in the first place and yes, we will have sex, but you can't be out here having me look stupid, f*cking other people, and if I love you, you have to love me the f*** back," kinda relationship. Why? Because if that person decides to, idk, entertain someone else, technically, you have no right to be mad (unless they blatantly lie to you about it). Now when you're in a relationship, at some point, you're gonna get that itch, and you're gonna wanna explore new options. Twitter, Instagram, and other social networking sites allow you to do just that but the problem with that is, now you gotta keep it on the down low like R. Kelly and don't get caught up, like R. Kelly, and get an asswhippin like, R. Kelly. Flirting online: is cool. Flirting online with the intention on doing something BEYOND just flirting: not cool. To be blunt as possible: stop allowing social networking sites to dictate how your relationship should look and stop allowing yourself to be in these situationships that only benefit you for the meantime; after 25 years old, it's about building into something greater than meaningless sex and matching Jordans...I'm thinking...marriage, kids, house, cars, joint accounts, relationship with the Lord, sex at basketball game.

"you tryna take back something you already said /that's like giving CPR to something already dead"
I'll be as frank as possible with this one: think before you speak because once those words leave out, maannn will, they, do, damage! Verbal abuse is so crazy in a relationship, like, it has the potential of f***ing someone up so bad for the next person and we as the abuser...don't even realize it. You can tell that person you adore them, love them, and all that mushy stuff but the moment, the very moment you say something that catches them off guard, that's totally left field, I mean something sooo hurtful; it's like everything you said PRIOR to that, has gone out the window. You ever burn a bridge and then realize...

how the f*** am I gonna get back across?!

You can't. I mean, you could, if and only if that person decides to send a boat (wants to make amends) and most times, they don't. Never burn a bridge before fully knowing if you're gonna need that same bridge to cross again in life. You know how hard it is to fully forgive someone who you love and trust so much after that same mouth that they just used to tell you they loved you with, rips you apart?!?! 

Bruh!

HOW I SEE IT IS...

*with regards to sex and arguments*
Sex after an argument is cool because that orgasm helps you relax but then what? You cum and those feelings that you have for that person a few minutes, hours, days, weeks ago are still there! Sex did nothing really if you take into consideration that in a few days or a week or so, you're still gonna argue about crap that already happened. My solution: thoroughly talk about what it is without yelling and over-talking. Don't cut each other off, don't dismiss, don't disregard what they're saying, and most importantly...listen AND hear where that person is coming from and think, before you speak.

*with regards to love, trust, & lying picture*
This is how we picture it:

I love you, so I trust you, and because I trust you, I expect you not to lie to me...

But, this is how it goes is:

I love you, I really do, but I don't trust you, so, I lie to you so you won't get(feel) hurt because of what I do(did) because I really do love you!

All of that sh*t is intertwined with each other...think about it.

Situationships my dear, don't work...ever! I say, have a face to face convo with your man and hash things out because if you don't, things will only get worse! Don't wait till its too late to realize that the person who's been riding with you for so long...will actually get out the car and help you fix that flat: let it marinate. Being with someone who is unsure of what you are and where you're going, isn't the person for you. If you need anymore advice, just let me know. Hopefully this song break down helped you.

@renaissance_brotha_

On Instagram STILL Flexxxin, pt. 2

If you thought the last one was offensive...just wait till you read this one!

*class is in session*

I advise you (if you haven't already done so) to go read "On Instagram Straight Flexxxin" before you even consider reading this piece, THIS way...you can keep up a very high level of laughter.

Ladies, it's almost the end of the year and since the last time we met the f***ery level was high but not, the f***ery level is at an all TIME high and I ain't happy. So, with THAT being said,

Let's begin shall we

"#LostFootage, #LateUpload, #OldToMeNewToYou" Pic:
Seeing these hashtags make my balls itch. Lost footage? That sh*t been in your phone since last-damn-week and you ain't wanna upload it after ladies night for whatever reason and now we have to be subjected to this f***ery?! Spare me.

*whiny female voice*
"#LostFootage from ladies night (insert emojis). We was too turnt uuup!"

Ughh, I wish your phone turnt up missing! All you gon do is add a filter on that s*** and either

A) keep it up, if it gets over 20+ likes in 5 minutes or
B) delete it, if it doesnt

Also, the #OldToMeNewToYou and #LateUpload hashtag/pic, #KillThatSh_tLadies. Keep that old pic in your phone! You looked like Miley Cyrus for Halloween and you wanna post it now? B****, Halloween was last damn month! You're better off posting a pic from Thanksgiving!

"Nipps & Cleav" Pic:
Allow me to play good cop/bad cop here for a min: YES, I love women and their assets, especially a woman with some nice ass nipple rings but what I don't like is (and I'm sure Chief Keef will agree with me on this)...

women who DO IT and get mad at the attention it garners!

YES, you're gonna get attention from dudes (and women who swing that way) whenever you post a pic like that. YES, you're "thirst trappin" and YES, men WILL be on one of your old pics, asking if you're single and leaving everything from a thematic essay to a number, pager, or P.O. box info on it. If you don't like the "thirst" that comes along with posting a pic like,

"my lips look on POINT!"
but
*all I see is the breast, all I, all I see is breast* (Rih Rih voice)*

put a halt on that: nipple (ring) pressed hard against the wife beater/t-shirt, cleavage looking like two scoops of skin toned ice cream pic then. Always remember ladies: if you trap them...the thirst will come!

"The Selfie" Pic:
This selfie overload s*** has become a lil' too much. I know it's only Instagram and the following will totally contradict the prior of what I JUST said but a selfie every other post is annoying! Selfie in the car, selfie on the toilet, selfie at church, selfie in class, selfie on the plane, selfie at work, selfie when you're bored, selfie when you're bored at work or school, selfie while you're drinking, selfie when you're performing oral, selfie in the shower, selfie in that dirty ass mirror that ain't been clean since Obama first took office, selfie from when you graduated pre-k, selfie at your grandmother's funeral, selfie at the doctor's office, selfie when your "him" doesn't call/text/double tap/email/FaceTime you, sel...you get my point. I enjoy a good selfie just as much as the next self absorbed IG account holder but selfie addiction is no laughing matter. Addiction to selfies can f*** up your friends, your HEALTH, and scary enough, your money...it's a disease ladies.


YOU KNOW HOW CRAZY A PAGE FULL OF SELFIES LOOK!








"WCW for today is...me, duuh!" Pic:
For those who are out of the loop and don't know what WCW stands for and the significance of it (or lack thereof), allow me to be a jackass help you out, just a lil:

WC/WCW = woman crush/woman crush Wednesday.
Significance: to highlight a woman who is a crush, of importance in your life, or hell, even your bestie, e.g. Halle Berry, @eyes2pretti2cry__, or your mom.

B****, we already get a thousand selfies of you a day and now on Wednesdays I gotta see recycled pics of you as your OWN woman crush!!! F*** outta here with that Dorian Gray s***!

*pic of self*
"Of COURSE I'm my own WCW...duuh! With school, work, dating, bills, weave rotations, cooking, #TURNINUPPPPP, being blessed n not chasing NO MAN, WCW belongs to me (insert kissy face emojis)."

Listen, ima tell you what other dudes think when they see this s***; sh*t is wack b and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. I understand you're a woman who works hard but, I thought the purpose of the day was to highlight a crush, not yourself...but I could be wrong.

Videos:
Ever since Instagram gave us the option to upload a 15 second video of whateverness...sh*t has been crazy! Ima fan of the twerk videos, hell, ima man, but the annoying ass females who can't twerk depress my penis something awful! I click on the video to see ass bouncing and I see nothing but headdddd, shoulders, knees and bones, (knees and bones) moving! Or the females who believe its cool to drive and record a video like car crashes aren't real! B****, save your singing for the shower and spare us the fact that you're sitting in traffic. Oh, ohhhhh, and let me not forget about the ones who start the video with, "hiii Instagram!!" anytime you hear that s***, you KNOW the video is about to be about bull AND s***! And lastly, let me not leave out the ones who post videos of themselves duck lippin, play in their hair, showing us mad different angles, but...not, saying, a, f***in word! Half of you ladies will read this and be like "sooo, I love postin videos, I'll never let it go!". Give us a break, looking like a damn mime n's***! Post a video of you taking a test, getting some work done, or cleaning your mirror that you utilize for every damn full body selfie.

And speaking of mirrors...

"Bathroom & Dressing room" Pic:
"Quick bathroom flick...women love bathroom flicks!". No they don't, well, sh*t, I hope not. To all you ladies taking bathroom & fitting room pics, answer these right quick:

• are you actually trying on anything?
• if you are, are you actually buying the item(s) or anything else from that store?
• do you feel weird knowing you're taking a bunch of damn pics & not purchasing a damn thing?!
• do you use the bathroom before or after you take like 10+ pics to post before you actually get it right?
• if you use the bathroom...do you wash your hands before taking the pic?
• when deciding on takin a bathroom pic: do you wait for it to clear it out or do you wait until someone JUST gets into the stall?
• do you take these pics b/c their mirror is cleaner there, vs. your house?

If you answered yes to 80% of the questions, I'm sorry to inform you but: you're a THOT! Urbandictionary what a THOT is, if you are unfamiliar.

You SEE how clean that mirror is ladies...you wish yours was that damn clean on a GREAT day!












"Ughh, he so thirsty" Pic:
The world we live in where any female will waste their energy and time on posting exposing, men/n*ggas because they give them a compliment on an old pic, via Twitter DM, FB inbox,thru text, or wherever, when its TOO much. Now, I will admit, some guys do go way over the top with their s*** like below for instance,











THIS is the sh*t females get and I hate it because now I can't text nothing close to this, without having to be put in a damn "thirst" category. But the ones who just say simple things or who have actually found a genuine interest in you based off of what you post, always seem to be the ones getting put "on that Summer Jam screen" (a point in Hip Hop history, when JayZ exposed Prodigy from Mobb Deep). YES, some dudes need to check themselves into the nearest Thirst Clinic, ASAP, but every dude who gives a compliment isn't thirsty. To me, there's a difference between having an interest in someone vs. being thirsty but that's a different blog in itself. Ladies, you don't need to post the convo from when sh** turned left between you and @TheRealMoetDon and totally leave out the fact that you were damn near begging him to take you out to dinner and lustin' for his d***! We get it, dudes like you, you're pretty, dudes are thirsty, and a government shutdown is right around the corner a-GAIN; who gives a f***! Just imagine if dudes started doing that...hmmmm.

"Collage" Pics:
I'm tired of seeing the collages with 3 pics and two of them are the SAME exact ones, just flipped around or some sh**.

"Imagine if there were 3 of me!?!? #TripleTrouble."

I don't even like the idea of 1 of you let alone two more. I also have grown to despise the fact that sometimes, one of the pics will be small, appearing that is further away, and it just gets closer and closer and closer in each box of the collage; it's like in the scary movie and you know the killer is RIGHT behind the white girl because her dumb ass just stopped running and the music stopped and BA-BAM B****...you're dead! Why not use different pics? Or the ones with like 5 different boxes: 2 of the boxes have the same pic, 2 others have different filters, and 1 is flipped...I'm sorry but Jesus needs to flag every pic on your page.

"Zamnnnn, I need my p**** worked baaddd!" Pic:
Ok, ok we get it b****, you want your p**** ate and some d*** to wash away the pain your vagina feels from being lonely but every other post tho?! Come on! I love sex, don't get me wrong and that's the reason why my last account got deleted but females need to realize the attention they'll receive when they constantly post s*** like,

Dudes will flood your old pics with questions galore about your relationship status and why #NoNewFriends need not apply to them! If a dude could leave you his house key under your pic, tuuh, he would! I love you ladies but: you (claps hands) can't (claps hands) post (claps hands) lusty (claps hands) s*** and (claps hands) (claps hands) expect (claps hands) men (claps hands) not (claps hands) to (claps hands) lust (claps hands) you dumbass! Men see this and we're not thinking, "oh, *like*" and that's it. We're thinking, *like" along with some freak ***t we wanna NOW do to you, even tho you're the daughter of pastor...nvm. 24 hours in a day and you spend it posting about sex and you wonder why you can't get attention outside of a hard di**...

Now, in closing ladies...just cut the sh**! This of course was merely a joke, a piece for entertainment if you will, but you know what they say about jokes, so...yea. If I have offended you, I'm sorry, just think about what I DIDN'T say...

@renaissance_brotha_

LeBron Has Rings...Do You?

*disclaimer*
If you are easily offended...this blog is not for you.

Me: How long have y'all been going out again, 5 years?
Friend: Aww, you remembered Ant!
Me: I did! Has he mentioned or even hinted at a ring appearing anytime soon?
Friend: Nooo! We've been off and on so much, I don't know if that's a possibility but I...
Me: ...love him!
Friend: Why you say it like that? I mean, I see him proposing to me, I mean, why wouldn't he? We've been together for so long!
Me: I guess but...I don't know ma'am.

Many women are currently in relationships and those, "...do you see us spending our life together?" talks and that's good...if you and him are on the same page. Let me be honest here for a second: a lot of you beautiful, ambitious, hard working, educated, sexy women deserve the world and everything in it but, don't deserve a ring. Now some of you will get that ring, while others, just won't and you (meaning the woman) will be to blame. Don't get me wrong, I love marriage and all that comes with it but nowadays with relationships being complicated as much as they are, I can only imagine what marriage is gonna look like. It takes a special kinda woman to hear her guy say, "will you marry me?" and then stick around thereafter, which is why I believe...marriage isn't for everyone. Some of our parents marriages didn't work and hell, some of you reading this may have journeyed down that road and it didn't work but that should never turn you off to the idea. With that being said...

*class is in session*

Society has helped f*** up everything that was once considered good to us. Going to the strip club, sodas, Big Gulps, eating white bread, fried foods, McDonalds, and more importantly, relationships. Relationships have sustained a lot of problems because of society and individuals in society. You know what else plays a part in this as well? Social networks! Yup, I said it, social networks! Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, MySpace (yup, you read right), and hell, even Aim! Then you look at celebs and their relationships/weddings being televised that don't last that long, and although they're just like you and me, it makes me wonder: are marriages made to last? I'll answer that question later but too many times I've seen women drag men thru the dirt and back and turn down good guys left and right. I love you ladies, really I do, but too many of you are running your mouths (which run men away) and catch attitudes instead of talking things over (which run men away) and expect to hear those 4 words: will you marry me? Haaaaa!

While its true that a women's brain matures faster, when it comes to handling certain personal issues...(some) women can't seem to get it right. So, today I bring to you: reasons why you WON'T get a ring but you'll get a bacon, egg, & cheese, a threesome, and your master's degree before you get a man to propose...

BREATHE (1 and to the 2, 2 and to the 3):
I, as a man, am not a fan of being smothered by my significant other and I'm sure other men would concur. Actually, I don't think ANYBODY else does for that matter! Now we all know communication is key, but when you do it too much ladies, it becomes a problem. Constant questions, about the same sh*t just worded differently is annoying.

"Hey babe, what you doin?"
10 mins later
"Still watchin tv babe?"
10 mins later
"Babe, this is why I can't watch the news because they always got some bad s*** on...wyd??"

That's that sh*t I don't like!

When you do too much, that's when we begin to move away and I mean farrr away! Guys need room to breathe because being too over bearing isn't welcomed in a relationship. It's kinda like being micromanaged at work, ain't nobody got time for that. For example: if he doesn't respond ASAP to your text, don't throw up a post taking indirectly about him, that's petty. If he wants time to himself, let him be. If he wants to go out with the homies, let him be. Just because you're in a relationship, doesn't mean you need to spend every single minute WITH that person...everyone needs their space.

"Cause tonight ba-by, I wanna get FREAKY with youuuu!":
Men like women who can be a lady in the streets but a freak in the bed! That whole, "9-5" and then come home and cook up a meal and then be able to show him "what that mouth do" routine...quite sexy. There (hand clap) is (hand clap) nothing (hand clap) wrong (hand clap) with (hand clap) getting (hand clap) freaky (hand clap) for (hand clap) your (hand clap) man! I'm not saying you have to put on a production every night but at least have an open mind and be a lil adventurous...in the bedroom, at the movies, at your friend's wedding reception, on the F train coming back from Coney Island, you know, places like that. Giving him missionary sex and then "spicing" it up by letting him do doggy, aint gon keep him. Lap dances, strip teases, hell, send him random twerk videos but make sure you're doing whatever it is you have to do to keep the relationship afloat! And know this: whatever you WON'T do, another female (and her friend) will...seriously.

T-R-U-S-T:
Trust is needed in every aspect of our lives, especially in relationships. Without trust, you virtually have nothing. Now, let me make this CRYSTAL clear

Until you've got a good enough reason and when I say good enough reason, I mean, a female sending you a video of YOUR man deep sea diving in her sea of love, you have no reason to NOT trust him! Now I know (some of) you have trust issues because of past relationships, I know that and I'm sorry to hear that but you have no reason to NOT trust when he hasn't given you a reason to not be trusted. If you know you have problems trusting, don't get into a relationship because it will ultimately screw it up in the long run. It's one thing if your man is d***in down Tanya, Sarah, Marie, and loud mouth Gwen from your job and you have probable cause but if he's faithful, let him be. The more you come to him with false allegations about "what you found (didn't find)" in his phone, the more you push him away, and I mean farrrr away!

...and speaking of phone

"So, ummm, who's this b****!?":
Ladies, I can't stress this enough: leave the damn phone a-loneee!

What happens if he lets you check it tho? - student in the back

If he lets you check it, fine.

But what happens if he lets you check it AND you find something? - same student.

The better question is, are you LOOKING for something to find? Because if you are, then shame on you. If you happen to find something and you wholeheartedly feel it is not right and needs to be questioned, go for it. But the problem is that, when he DOESN'T allow you to go thru his phone and you do so anyways because you got a "hunch"...h-h-h-hunch yo ass over that stove and make a meatloaf with you nosey ass! Didn't you graduate with a Masters in Education? So why are you snooping around sh*t like you auditioning for Law & Order? Don't try to hack his Twitter, don't go to old pics on Instagram and see if he's been conversing with any females (fellas, make sure you're deleting those convos), don't search thru his emails and go thru his trash to see if you can find a possible "lead", nor should you check his pockets...that went out in the 90s. In other words, relive your Carmen Sandiego childhood fantasies elsewhere, not in your relationship. I know (some of) you work but for the ones that don't, make sure your place is up to par.

Woman Up:
Just like you're quick to tell us to "man up," ladies: woman, the, F***, UP! It's more than putting on a pair of heels or making sure you're not over-doing it with your make-up or making sure your dress hugs your curves, it's more than that. Women are nurturing, kind, caring individuals first and foremost. If your man likes to eat, cook. If you can't cook, learn. Go to a bookstore and buy a cook book and read the directions, it's really that simple. I'm not talking that minute rice with the Tyson's frozen "ready to cook wings, just thaw out and cook in the oven for 40-45 mins" bs either. I'm talking, a REAL, meal! Also, keep things clean. If you don't work as much as your man, it's your job to keep things nice and neat. Sure, he can do the same too, but that's a whole different blog in itself. It's your job to do everything (not so much anything) that YOU can, to keep YOUR man happy. Not a n**** or a boy, but your man. And men...make sure you're meeting her half way too because what you won't do...I will! (just joking, but...not really)

Lastly,

Relationship Problems & Social Networks Don't Mix:
...just like two d***s and a horse (extreme, I know). But in all seriousness the two do not belong together whatsoever. The moment your bring your relationship problems to social media is the moment you allow others to voice their 2 cents into whatever is going on in YOUR relationship. Sure, talking to your friends and family sometimes works but do you think people on Twitter care about what's going on between you and your man? No. Instagram and Facebook aren't places to vent either. Why might you ask...because you're not in a relationship with then, you're in a relationship WITH HIM! The moment you take to throwing dirt on him via social networks, is the moment you've decided that the relationship needed non expert advice from motherf****s who are more than likely to hit you up saying, "hey girl! I hope you make it thru whatever you're going thru because you can do bad all by yaself girl!" or "hey, if you need to talk about anything, I'm here for you. I mean, if he's no good for you, maybe you need to be with me...jk jk...but hit me up tho." Keep all problems off of social networks, plain and simple.

Ladies, please don't take offense to what has been said, take heed. These are just some of the reasons why guys aren't dropping to one knee and asking for your hand in marriage quicker than a stripper for some dollars. In order to enter any relationship, you must first love yourself because when you don't, you don't allow yourself to be loved the way you want. Relationships are about compromise, amongst other things. Check your insecurties before you try to check his. Be truthful with yourself before you even begin to be truthful with him. Relationships are a two way street...don't drive him down a dead end.

Feedback is welcomed...all the time, anytime and if you need advise, hit my email up as well! I would love to chat.

@renaissance_brotha_

On Instagram Straight Flexxxin

...because if you feel offended by the end of this blog, then my job is done!

Ladies, oohhh ladies...some of ya'll get on Instagram and act nuttier than squirrel sh*t! I love you ladies, really I do, but the amount of f***ery you post on a daily basis needs to stop! Now I'm fully aware that it's only a social networking site but c'mon on, ya'll not thinking before ya'll upload? Sure, you have the right to post whatever it is that you want but in the grand scheme of things...some of the things you post are for attention and that purpose only! Now in no way shape or form am I complaining but at the end of the day somethings just need to be kept in the phone and off of social media. Feel offended No offense but I just wanna know this: where does your creativity come from when you decide you wanna take a picture? No, seriously, I wanna know, like, are you watching the Bad Girls Club? Or maybe Real Housewives? Or maybeee, you just scroll thru your timeline and just get ideas of how to "one up" the next chick who decided to take a pic like the one you're about to post? Idk, but whatever the reason is, "do (claps hands) ya (claps hands) thang (claps hands) boo boo!" This is for all the IG models, "celebs", and thirst-trappin' ass females...I hope this blog not only offends you makes you laugh, but makes you delete your account or unfollow me opens your eyes as well.

Today's class is strictly about sh*t I hate to see on my timeline and the types of females who decide to post...fellas, take note and ladies, do the same:

*class is in session*

1. "I Don't Even Like This Pic Tho" Pic:
"Zammn, I mean, I don't even like the way my eyebrows look in this pic tho, ughh!! But...ima post it and see what they think!" Oh...so you don't like the pic tho huh? So why ya silly dilly ass post it in the FIRST damn place?! If you don't like it, 11/10, WE won't like (thirsty dudes/females will). Ima be forreal, think about all those stupid pics ya'll look to post but then you decide against it and then you re-decide to post...indecisive sh*t like that will get you unfollowed. Now your girls and them thirsty dudes will hit the like button but me...nah (Chief Keef voice). We as an IG community don't wanna see the pic you ain't really feeling! I have a hard enough time looking at the pic with mad different filters and you lookin like a damn lost member of the X-Men and speaking OF filter pics...

2. "Filter...#NoFilter" Pic:
Listen, I love a good filter to help alter a pic but there is no damn reason why 13 filters should be added on a pic! There's no damn reason why we should look at your pic and almost have a seizure because you got too damn much going on. Filters take a chick who look like Seal and have them looking like Rih Rih in no time! What happens if we need to repost because you go missing...them filters on allll yo damn pics and now ya family gotta use a pic from HS, sh*t don't make sense to me, that's all I'm sayin. On the other side of the coin you have a lot of you (females) who are QUICK to hashtag, #NOFilter when in reality you NEED about 232 filters on that damn pic! Don't talk about how @RealBeauty_RealEyez look when you're beauty is hurting out here. I can't appreciate ya busted ass pics, sh*t, none of us can, I just have the heart to say it. Just because you lazy in real life, don't mean you should be lazy on the Gram...I'll turn that green to blue in a heartbeat, #HashtagThat.

3. "Stop everything you're doing; feeding your child, wiping yourself, writing that paper and go follow (insert name) not now, but RIGHT NOW!" Pic:
I literally have a low tolerance for S/O's and sh*t like that, so usually I just keep scrolling, but deadass tho, it's really at an all-time high in 2013! Why should I follow your brother who just got outta jail or your homegirl who was 2,000-ish in followers and she's following 200-ish? Nah, you can keep that s/o because I ain't got time for that. Once a month or every few months, cool but every other day or every week, be prepared to get unfollowed. Ya'll girls be having some of the shallowest followers and a majority of them in real life only have 4 friends and according to them, have 232 enemies! "Stop what you're doin and follow my homegirl (insert name)! She a good look fellas and she show love and this is her 5th page...s/o to you haters!" Nah, she won't be gettin my request.

4. "Ughh, you dudes ain't yada yada yada" Pic:
*fellas, put a star next to this and pay close attention*
Ladies...first and foremost, getcha damn life! Not all dudes are "ain't sh*t" n****s/men, it's just the ones that you attract. Reposting those post about what a "n****/man is suppose to do" is complete and utter BS, real talk. IG has turned into eHarmony and a lot of you women/b*tches/girls are subscribing to the BS and in reality, ya'll ain't sh*t your damn self! Sure, there's a good majority of dudes on IG who are overly thirsty and annoying and every other word you can think of. What about the cool dudes? You know, the "nice guys" who don't trip every single time you put up a pic of you with some cleavage showing? You scoff at those dudes and entertain the other kind. This applies to all types of females, I mean, from the section 8ers to ones chasing degrees, oh no, I don't discriminate, trust and believe me (Keyshia Cole voice). Stop with the TextGram/TweeGram/Notes pic bashing dudes when you ain't right yourself. If you are single talking about, "a man is supposed to make a Queen outta a princess," or some corny ass sh*t like that, what kinda message does that send out? You know what you can do for me tho...tell me what a good WOMAN does and then maybe I'll consider reading that post.

5. "These bubbles are EVERYTHING!" Pic:
...soooo, what's the message you're tryna send by posting the bathroom tub pic? I mean, cause this is what we doing now huh? Oh...ok. How would you ladies feel if a dude posted a pic of him ass naked in the tub covered in some suds or if he had bubbles covering his privates? The jokes would be nonstop and I'm sure you would unfollow and question his sexuality (unless it was a celeb of sorts). Who cares about you and them ashy ass legs with the 5 o'clock shadow in that dirty ass water with the A'Jax bubbles? A LOT OF US DON'T CARE, let's be forreal! And then you got the nerve to use the candles that you know good and damn well you'll need next time a storm or blackout comes along. In your mind, you think it's an attempt to be sexy but to US...it's a good laugh because you're only being thirsty! Sip some of that bath water and masturbate to some old school R&B, thank you.

6. "Struggle Meal" Pic:
...if you can't cook, stay the hell out the kitchen, it's that simple. I'm not gonna sugarcoat it but a LOT of you ladies are posting pics of food and it looks like something not even a pig would digest and I mean that from the bottom of my heart! It looks like death! Your ribs look skimpy, that rice looks dry and I mean, HELLA dry, them veggies...look like they're fresh out the baby food, and then you have the nerve to put it on a plastic plate??!! I hope someone robs you of all your pots and pans or takes a huge sh*t in them and aligns them in your kitchen on the floor. Sh*t that comes already made doesn't constitute you "thrown down"...it just means you were too lazy too cook and please, don't add no damn filter either, it's sickening to say the least. Find a seat and sit yo ass ALL the way down, thanks in advance.

7. "Fine Wine *& Ashy Feet" Pic:
This...THIS (claps hands) RIGHT (claps hands) HERE (claps hands) GETS (claps hands) ON MY NERVES! I love feet, not as much as I enjoy lips but I enjoy some nice feet. Does this mean I'll go around sucking toes? No. Does this mean I'll give you a massage if your feet look right? Yes. But the underling message for number 7 is...if your feet are ugly, don't ever, and I mean EVER, post a pic of them and you drinking some cheap ass wine. Sure, I know we all can't afford the finer things like good wine or whatever, but a pedicure...nah!!! I'm the captain, lieutenant, and every damn thing else of the Petty-Pedi-Police and some of you ladies need to get your pictures flagged. I don't wanna see those bear paws, that cheap bottle of rose moscato in that mason jar, them raggedy bedsheets, and that 16' inch TV playing Scandal! Here's a tip ladies: trim those toe nails down, if you got long ass toes that look like that can be mistaken for fingers and can palm a football, don't post, and apply lotion if you're feet look ashy! And let the wine breathe! Slurping it down like it's...never mind.

8. "Yassss, #TurnUp" Pic:
When something gets too exciting or an event is too poppin', females will yell out, TURN UP! In 2013...everything is "#TurntUp/#TurnUp":
"Just got my taxes, #TurnUp!"
"Waiter just brought the food to the table, #TurnUp!"
"Just got an adoration, #TurnUp!" (yup, seen it twice since the start of the year)
"Pastor just delivered a powerful ass message, #TurnUp!"
The point of the matter is...we don't care about the #TurnUp pic lol, I mean, seriously now. Every damn pic isn't #TurntUp! You getting your degree, ok. You getting a new car or apartment, ok. You getting that new job or meeting a celeb, ok...you going out for drinks at Applebee's or getting sushi, not so much. Yup, sorry to be a kill joy, but that's just the way it is. If the party is really good like you keep saying...think about what I JUST said (I'll say it again)...If the party is good, scratch that...there's no damn way you're taking mad pics and posting them if the party is that #TurntUp! I hope somebody elbows your phone out your hand and it gets A-Town stomped on, let's see if you'll be #TurntUp then.

9. "(insert baby name) is my everything!" Pic:
Listen, because I know many will be offended by this so I say sorry in advance but...there's no need to continuously remind us that (insert child's name[s]) is your everything in one post but you're bashing the baby father in the caption. Not only is that hypocritical but it is also contradicting to say the most and it's counterproductive to say the least. Its great when your child has given you a new lease on life and it's even better when they are the reason you are now fully focused on making a better life but we as a community shouldn't be subjected to the everyday post about how much they mean the world to you, truthfully speaking. All you're doing is fishing for compliments and reassuring and that right there...that's that sh*t we don't LIKE!

and last but certainly not least

10. "lusTrappin" Pic:
You take the word "lust" and "trappin" and combine them and you get my favorite word, lusTrappin! lusTrappin is when a female intentionally post a pic exposing a lil more than the law should allow, examples: breast, nipples, nipples hard in a shirt or any form of a top, nipple rings in a shirt or any form of a top, you licking the top of your breast or your nipple or someone else's, you butt, visible camel toes, your butt in panties/jeans/a thong/g-string/sweatpants (you want us to focus on other things in the picture but the caption reads differently...opposing ideas), your vagina, someone else's vagina, your vagina in any form of bottoms, a post of something sexual but the caption paints a different picture, and everything else you can think of. The reason I saved this one for last is because in all honesty, this one is the funniest but truest one of'em all (not to take away from the others). You in your bed, looking away from the camera, "just relaxin," or "damn...I'm hungry" and your ass is all out and about. I love women and the whole nine but don't post lusty ass pics and expect dudes to just like and that's it because clearly that's your purpose, to garner attention. I will not sit here and pretend like I haven't double tapped on a few lusTrappin pics before, because I have, but don't get mad at dudes who take it a step further and comment wild crazy. "Just got them bundles innnnnn..." but clearly you forgot to put on a bra...oh. ok. Fellas, don't fall victim to the pics because before you know you'll end up leaving your number and she will screenshot it and store or...I will screenshot it and save it for my future blog about thirsty dudes like you.

Now in conclusion class, here's the take away: fellas, don't fall for the thirst traps, period! Ladies, if you are offended, I apologize but, come on, you know exactly what you're doing when you post those pics and trust and believe me, I'm not the only one who feels the same way, I'm just the one who has created a forum for me to express myself creatively and...in a hilarious but serious manner. If you're having second thoughts about posting any kinda pic, just send it to me, I won't judge, laugh maybe, not judge tho, that's me...or maybe that's what I'm doing now? Who knows, but the point of the matter is that I understand you have every right to post whatever it is you want but just be mindful. This is a serious matter and right now, some young lady is getting unfollowed and or blocked as we speak...don't be one of them.

*class dismissed*

@renaissnace_brotha