Love Thy Queen

I'm not perfect. I will never, ever claim to be perfect. I don't claim to know it all; I just claim to know what I know and speak on that. I'm not speaking on, How To Maintain Your Marriage After Year 5 because I've never been married. If you see me write about it, you better believe I have experience with what is being said! I think it's important to say all of this because it allows you, as the reader, to have a very clear understanding of WHY I go so hard, in the manner that I do:

WE NEED TO HAVE MORE HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS THAT TRANSITION INTO RELATIONSHIPS, THAT CONTINUE TO BUILD UPON THAT EXISTING FRIENDSHIP! Period!

I digress

I've been in countless relationships where I've fuc*** up. Yes, I am man enough to admit that without hesitation: I've fu**** up in every single one of my relationships! I'm not saying I'm the reason we've ended...I'm just admitting to you, as the reader, that Renaissance Brotha (not Man) has done some shit in his past relationships, that he...I, am not happy/proud about. Now, with that being said I can also admit that, there have been tons of things I have done right! I mean, no one stays with someone for years just because the d*** is that good, I mean, I would hope not but, yea...that wasn't the case because my D ain't s***!

I digress, again

Sometimes, we get caught up in trying to take care of the weeds so much, that we forget to smell and enjoy the roses.

"Renaissance Brotha!"

"Yes, you over there"

"Well, what do you mean by that?"

*class is in session*

Sometimes, we get caught up in trying to take care of the weeds so much, that we forget to smell and enjoy the roses. I'm saying it again because I want you to fully understand what I'm saying and WHY I'm saying it but, we shall touch on that later.

From social networks, the media, your mother, your grandmother, your best friend whose been single since who knows when, to magazine articles, all these different things/persons will advise ladies on how they should treat and care for and love a man. Some of them make valid points but right now, here today, I wanna speak on the opposite: how fellas should treat their queen/woman.

Yes...how we should treat our queen/woman!

This isn't just for the men within the Black community, this is speaking to men of all races, color, creeds, religions, gangs, socioeconomic status, so on and so forth. So pay attention to message and suspend the personal judgement you may have, for the messenger.

Love thy QUEEN

I'm here to tell you that if a woman tells you that words don't mean a thing...then why do they love compliments so damn much!? YES, actions speak louder than words but words play a major part in how we view those actions. Compliment her! Tell her she looks good. Tell her you appreciate her all that she does. Tell her thank you, for the sh*t she does, for YOU! Show her you appreciate her! Ok, I'm not saying do the following every damn week or month or every few months but, try it, at least once (depending on the length of your relationship)

Have her call her out of work and pamper her, the entire, daaay! I'm talking about from morning to night, you plan an entire day dedicated to her and not another soul. Hell, if you even wanna give her the money from the time she missed at work, do it!

I say that because we have to find new ways of maintaining the relationship we have with our partner. You wanna do things that are comfortable with you but also that she'll appreciate as well. A foot rub won't kill ya. A full body massage won't kill ya. Head on the side of the highway won't kill ya...unless the cops spot you guys, then...you know...they might might kill ya. The point of me saying all of this, is to love her in a way that works best for Y-O-U! Be patient with her. Sometimes things won't materialize at a pace of your liking...and that's ok. Just know that: if it's meant to happen, it's meant to happen; there's never a need to rush things within your relationship, especially because it's a never ending building process. Also, don't sit there and throw in her face all the things you do/did for her- she knows what you do/did, she was/is present for it! I had made the mistake of saying, "well you should be happy I cook for you...it's not like any other dude you had did!" And for that, I was deadass wrong. From that I learned; we do things (at least in my opinion) out the kindness of our heart because we love our partners. We have to get back to loving our women, with a pure heart.

Love Thyself, For Your Queen

I know a lot of women that let themselves gooooooo, once they get into a relationship! Like: stop eating good, do whatever with their hair/make-up, say f*** the gym, and all the rest of that sh** but I also know, a lot of dudes who do the same! Some of ya'll don't clean up your place, won't clean out the car, don't get a haircut as often, don't groom "downstairs", dodge the gym, and so on and so forth. Fellas- don't do that. I don't know which OG told you, sh** like that was cool but your lady...she ain't got time for it! Have some pride in how you look!!! We as men, pride ourselves on how our women should look like this or that but never go look in the mirror and hold ourselves to such a high standard. I myself will always admit, that I'm not the tallest, I'm not the funniest, I don't have a bunch of abs, I'm not the smartest and that may be the same for you as well. What works for me is that I know who I am and I will never, ever, ever, everrrrrr let a soul get a chance to tell me anything different! We as men have to hold ourselves to some kinda fu***** standard; it is ok to have standards, fellas. Insecurities and pride are two of the BIGGEST contributing factors, as to why men can't/don't maintain healthy relationships. I don't need statistics from USA Today or some Harvard University scientist to back me up here. If you sit and talk to a man long enough, what you will get is typically the same thing,

"I didn't feel like doing x y z"

"I just couldn't trust her blah blah blah"

"I didn't feel like I was the right man yada yada"

The above examples all speak to who a man is on the inside! Men: deal with them insecurities and put that pride to the side for a better YOU! And don't rebuttal me with that bullsh**, "it's easier said than done" because we are creatures of action- less excuses and more moves!

Feed, Thy Queen

Cook for her. I'm not just saying that because I love to cook, I'm saying that because men like me who DO cook, will offer her a plate of some shit that will have her second guessing why she's even with your ass! I kid, slightly. We as men know LeBron's stats from his rookie year but can't take the time to read a f***ing recipe!? Geeeeeet outta here! 

You might laugh at the above but at least it shows the person tried. I learned to cook because I loved women and because of Dr. Seuss. Green Eggs and Ham is my favorite book (of all time) and I figured, well, if I learn how to cook some creative sh** like that, maybe, just maybe, the ladies will love me! 

Eventually they did. All I'm saying is that, it won't hurt to cook her up a meal. Not every day or every other day but maybe once a week. You don't have to be a damn chef, but cooking her a meal or even helping her, hell, maybe just doing it TOGETHER, shows you at least give a damn! Women (hand clap) love (hand clap) to eat (hand clap, hand clap)! It won't kill you to cook for your queen.

Sex, Thy Queen

(If you're celibate or don't believe in sex before marriage, then skip this one)

I'm not even gonna sugar coat this one or pu***foot: be on point. Women enjoy sex just as much as men, if not, moreeee- not up for a debate and I ain't got the statistics for this one either. You gotta know what you're doing even before you get her in the bed. Sexting works. Send her some sexy ass pictures. A di** pic or some provocative sh** like that aren't only reserved for women. Verbally stimulating her throughout the day works too:

"You know I wanna see you throw that ass back on this d*** in them heels you wore 3 Fridays go, right?!"

"I can't wait to slide my tongue all the way inside of you later...so how's your day?"

You say things like that because mentally, it helps her prepare for what's to come later. Also, don't forget foreplay! Don't just stimulate her mind...stimulate her body, man (Smokey from Friday voice)! Yes, some women just want you to slide inside and do what it do but...some women enjoy the art of seduction. Get some ice cream, some fruit, hell, if you don't wanna do all that, just plant some kisses all over. Start from the neck and work your way down and once you get in between her thighs- eat her. If you're not eating the pu*** in 2015...you're...you're corny. Sex isn't the end all be all but for those who have it and enjoy it, it is important and I will not sit here and tell you otherwise. Go read, "Make It Nasty," ... just cause.

Maintain Le Fire With, Thy Queen

I'm not gonna write a bunch of sh** for this one because there's an entire blog dedicated to this very point on the site that you should go read, if you haven't done so already. Go read, "Maintaining The Romance," AFTER you read this tho. Proceed on.

Converse, With Thy Queen

I saved this one for last because this one is EXTREMELY important- communicate with your queen. I look back on all my relationships and it hurts to know that part of the reasons why we didn't work is because communication sucked elephant d***. I look back on potential partners and it hurts because the communication sucked dolphin d***. I look back on friendships that didn't work or are now estranged and it hurts because the communication sucked whale nuts. We as men have to get to a place where we communicate better. This "fallback" craze is stupid! No one is Charles Xavier from the X-Men, no one is Ms. Cleo, no one is a fu**ing mind reader, so if you aren't expressing how you feel, verbally...how can things get better!? The goal is to work through and...wait for it...get though, motherf***a! The excuse that, men don't communicate well, blah blah is tired and old and ladies I'm telling you to not accept it because if you accept it for 6 months...you'll accept that sh** for 6 years! I've said this before and I will say it again: if you can communicate to her how you want her to suck your d*** then you can communicate to her how you want to be loved and all the things you have an issue with! If she pushes you away...if she turns it around and ignores what you're saying makes it about her...that sh** will continue to happen and she ain't the one for you, bruh. I don't care if she sucks the soul from your d*** and lets you f*** her best friend with the fat ass and natural hair- if her communication skills suck, step away. Communication is so key, it's so crucial, it's so fu**ing necessary! Talk to your lady. Talk with your lady. It's healthy. It won't hurt you to ask how her day was. It won't hurt you to tell her that you've been hurt before. It won't hurt you to say, "hey, I made plans for us to go see x y z and afterwards we're doing a b c...don't make other plans." It won't hurt! I'm not telling you to spill your guts. I'm telling you to....I'm suggesting you learn how to communicate better, not just for yourself but for the betterment of ya'll, as a couple. 

"You really feel like that tho?"

"Yes, yes I do!"

We gotta know when to check our fellow men, for the fu** shit they do. You might call it hatin or blocking but real men call it...wait for it...accounta-fu**in-bility! Now, the way Meek did it to Drake...wasn't cool. Doing s*** like that, behind the scenes, is completely ok. Checking other men needs to happen more because the more the fu** slides...lol...wait for it...the more these women go get women and build happy ass homes with. Not saying that's a bad thing but if @...never mind. Sometimes, we get caught up in trying to take care of the weeds so much, that we forget to smell and enjoy the roses. When you think about the analogy of women being like flowers and men being like weeds...things being to be put into a better perspective. So often, we are told to focus on the weeds (men) that we forget that even after the weeds are taken care of...the flowers (women) get neglected. We gotta stop neglecting the flowers. We have  to learn how to love our women better because now, more than ever, it is important! It is fu**ing vital! We all want better and all that jazz but wanting better will always start with self, before anyone else. I know I said this was for all kinds of men but Black men...BLACK MEN...we gotta do better! I'm not saying this to make my vagina rate go up because I can care less about how women look at me and the ones that wanna hand off the pu*** to me like Russell Wilson to Marshawn Lynch. I'm saying this because I wholeheartedly mean the sh**! Black women are leaving Black men alone because 1) we don't get the basics 2) we don't wanna do the basics 3) we're disrespectful 4) we're womanizers and so on and so forth and it is counterproductive when building a kingdom fit, for a king and queen. If you take in all of what I'm saying, she won't have time for another man. This isn't some blueprint on how to keep your partner from cheating because we should trust our partner enough to believe that they won't cheat but this to help enhance the friendship/relationship we have already in place. If you keep your partner feed mentally, spiritually, sexually, and so on and so forth...you will never have to worry about if your love is enough fellows...her actions will show it- love thy queen!

*class is dismissed*

@Renaissance_Brotha_

I'm Sorry But...You're Marrying The Wrong Guy

Now, it's rare that I touch on matters of the heart when it comes to us (men) and how we tend to deal with heartache and anything else associated with it. It's one of those things that we try not to talk about, for we fear how we'll be perceived by others; so fu** it- we keep our feelings/emotions ourselves. I'm not sure how many men will openly admit to this, but I know the following statement is something I can personally identify with: it's hard living with the fact, that the woman you saw yourself spending the rest of your life with...has moved on to spend her life with someone else.

*gasp*

I've dealt with it. It's not hard to admit now, but before that wasn't the case. It's a surreal feeling:

one minute you're planning out the day you wanna propose and how that's gonna look, who you wanna invite to the baby shower, living arrangements, sex hours once she's prego (not in that order), and the next min...you find yourself trying to piece your life back together.

You ever feel like the last person took every single bit of you: mentally and emotionally? Well, imagine doing that while in a relationship. "You don't know what you got till its gone," is what they say but what happens if you knew exactly what you had, but you didn't know how to hold on to it? You don't have your sh** together. You're still dealing with baggage from the last relationship. You struggle with insecurities and sometimes those insecurities run so deep within you, that you begin to question why the person is even with you! Each and everyone one of us deals with something that can potentially hinder us from moving forward.

We as men might not never, ever outwardly admit it, but there's that one woman who we feel is/was the ONE for us, who got away for whatever reason. Sh** happens. Life happens. And sometimes s*** happens in life, that can either makes us or breaks us! I've learned that in order for life to make us better, we have to break:

• break away from bad habits/old ways

• break down emotional and mentally (yes, crying cleanses the soul)

• break away from those with bad intentions or who seek to hinder our progression

So, in order for life to "make us better," we must first be broken down and rebuild from the breakage!

All of what you're about to read is 110% authentic and true from the heart. If it feels like I'm taking directly to you, I am. Read this piece as if you and I are having a one on one convo. Read this piece with an open heart and mind. For all the men who can identify with losing that "one"- this is for you. To all the ladies- enjoy. To the ex, who has moved on and is happy, I'm sorry but

...you're marrying the wrong guy.

*class is in session*

I know you're reading this. I know that because I know you. I've had a lot of time to myself since the break up. I mean, it's been years and I've tried to move on but for some reason I couldn't because every single thing reminded me of you! We've had a few convos but eh. The reason why I couldn't move on is because I never was honest with myself about why we broke up. I was a di**. I'm not saying I was a complete d*** the entire time we were together but as the roller coaster stopped peaking, I became a different man. That night I came to you on your birthday ,the year you were set to move- I meant every word. See, I thought...well, never mind, here's the truth:

WHAT I THOUGHT WAS...

(N)ope..."my pride won't let me admit as a man that I f**ked up. I'm sure I'll regret this one day but right now, RIGHT NOW!? I can't admit that I'm hurt because you're deciding to finally leave..."

THE HARSH REALITY...

As a man, we think and/or say that to ourselves or to our partner once the relationship is coming to an end. All those times we put pride over you and not fully understanding the impact it will have on the relationship over a period of time- will f*** us up something serious. When you would call/text? My pride declined/ignored. You wanted to talk face to face? I'm prideful, I'm nonchalant, I'm dismissive, or sarcastic to the point nothing gets resolved. "Babe, maybe we should go see somebody about us..." But I think we should f*** and get over it. All those times when I should've said sorry or you're right, or apologized? Eh, instead it was,

"f*** you! Ok... I'm sorry, I didn't mean that, just- you just make me so angry that I can't control my anger!"

Now all those times have led us here; me here and you there...with someone else. All those times I said,

"If you don't like the way I act or treat you, why you with me, huh?! Because I'm not holding you hostage you know, you can always find someone else!"

Those words...I meant them within the moment but not overall. One can only be hurt but so much and I guess you knew something I didn't. All those damn arguments and where did it get us, huh? Well, you knew. You knew and you gave me chance after chance to correct myself, not for the betterment of myself, but for the betterment of us. Thing about it is...I loved my pride a little more than you and ironically, that same pride is what destroyed us. 

WHAT I KNOW NOW...

Pride kills and hinders, so kill the pride or you'll hinder your heart and the person you give it to. 

REMEMBER WHEN I SAID...

(Y)ou.. "wanna talk every single time there's an issue and I just don't feel it's important to discuss the little sh**! I been working on things you say you have a problem with but I swear you don't do the same sh*t! STOP WIT THE F***IN BIT**IN AND GET YA SH** TOGETHER OR IM OUT!"

HARSH REALITY

I found it hard to talk to you. Nothing you did honestly, just, I held onto a lot of what I say my parents go thru growing up. Now, I won't make excuses or give you some bullsh** ass justification- we as men just suck when it comes to things like that. Those first couple of years of the relationship are tough grounds when it comes to communicating our issues. For women, it's second nature. How can I admit that I'm wrong or I've mistreated you as a man, without looking/sounding like a bi***? That's my truth. I rationalized as: if I admit that I'm wrong, if I express how I really feel...I'm gonna come across like I'm soft! Once again, that last sentence is a clear example of me having too much pride! Learning how to communicate when there's a problem starts at home when you're young. For some of us, we were never taught to express ourselves especially as boys. Your father didn't wanna hear that crying s***!

"Man up! Stop with that crying, you sound like a little girl!"

If we've experienced getting cut off while we're trying to express ourselves- we shut down. When the convo goes from: inside voice to outside voice- we tune you out. If these things (and more) continuously happen, we'll become uncomfortable and shut down or react in an irrational manner. When it comes to insecurities, those can stem from: a past friendship/relationship, the loss of a parent, not having a parent around, or maybe it's a generational curse.

"I don't know how to communicate to you because my mother/father didn't do that with me," lies true with a lot men.

My pops didn't (verbally) communicate to me...he whipped my ass. My mother did her best but she died right before I could actually learn something of value from her and my step moms did her best but...bless her heart. Life's experiences taught me how to better communicate.

There were times I would come to you and say, "I don't like it when you do this or that," or "I hate it that you accuse me of yada yada and it's not even true," and you would turn around and say, "ok babe, I'll work on it." And you did work on it but...I was blind to the fact that you were making an attempt to change for the betterment of us because all I would do is bring up old sh** and make it relevant again. So, like a d***, I would continuously point out the little sh** and make it bigger than it really was. You wanted for me to acknowledge the fact that you're taking steps to make things right and all I did was find a way to discredit you. How can one see the good in a person, when you don't see the good they do? Read that one more time. You changed for us, but I changed us...for the worse. 

WHAT I KNOW NOW... 

Communication is key. Too many times we as men use the excuse of "not being good at communicating our feelings," but are quick to communicate when we want sex- funny how that works. Knowing how to communicate effectively, cuts down on misunderstandings and mistreatment within the relationship. I should've came to you more to ease the tension amongst us. I should've expressed, how I felt all those times you cried about me not understanding the strain I was putting on the relationship. I should've talked more...

WHAT I'VE SAID

(L)ove... "you? How can you think I don't love you, sh** I love you more than I love my damn self! I f*** up, I can admit that but don't say I don't love you because I do..."

We as men will play these games and get to the end of playing them to only realize we were losing all along.

I took your love for granted- "nah, she ain't goin nowhere bro, I got this!"

I manipulated you- "If you don't like the things I say or do then why you with me to begin with! You think someone is gonna put up with that kid sh** you do?!"

...but what I really meant was,

"if you don't like what I say or do then leave because I'm not about to kiss your ass but if you do leave then ima make you feel bad about that sh** every second, minute, hour, day you're away!"

I alienated you within the relationship- "ok, you lettin me stay with you and I appreciate that but I don't feel the need to talk to you all the damn time! We been together how long now...what else is there to talk about if you text me all day! Sh** is annoying...I'll talk to you when I feel like it."

I threatened to leave. I disrespected you. But through all that, I had the audacity to turn around and say, "I love you." You grew tired of that sh**, like most women do but you stayed because you didn't know what else was out there for you because all you knew was me...

till you left.

I knew how much you loved me and how much it hurt to see me begging for that chance but you needed to do something for you, for once.

There...there were times who you cried yourself to sleep and me wrapping my arm around you just didn't work. Who cares that I cooked for you, when the night before I put you through hell! I never did or said anything to maliciously hurt you, I hope you understand. 

THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS...

(E)ternally...I'm grateful because you've helped me become a better man...

We all have that "one" that we see ourselves settling down with. We are gonna make mistakes, I guess that's in the nature of being a man. I thought the love you had for a person ended when you no longer had that person but...I was wrong. I wasn't honest with myself because for the longest time, I never let go of my mother promising to love me forever and never leaving so much so I placed those burdens on our relationship. I always thought you would leave me like she did so I pushed because who wants to feel that hurt again?. You may never love me the same and I'm fine with that. I know you're happy...my soul is at ease, finally, because I know you're happy. I just wanted that one chance, one opportunity to show you I had my sh** together and I was the man you needed but, it was too late. I lost everything when I lost you; literally and figuratively speaking and it was my own doing. As as you're happy, I'm good. The Bible says, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord," so I guess the guy who decides to marry you, obtains that favor. I'm not even sure if you're still with the same guy but all I do know is...you're marrying the wrong man and nothing will ever change that feeling. We as men might not never admit that we can see ourselves with just one, starting a family with just one, getting down on one knee for just one, spending the rest of our lives with just one...but I can...I have. For all those times you cried and I didn't care. For all those times you wanted me to listen, that I didn't hear. For all those times you put you before we and I put pride in the middle of that. For all those times you were right, and I wasn't. For all those times you held on to us and I let ago...I'm sorry. The last thing you said to me was,

"I...I'm not in love with you anymore,"

But I knew that before that night.

A Different World Wedding

@renaissance_brotha_

Is You Dumb Or Nah

*class is in session*

Since I’ve started this website, better yet, since I’ve started blogging, the reception from women has been great! I’m talking, “OMG Anthony, you saved me so much heartache by switching to not giving a f***!” Ok, maybe not that exactly, but you get the point. Even with all the success, I still get those texts or phone calls or emails from women at crazy times like, “I’m sorry to wake you but I just can’t deal! I think my man is cheating and I mean, I checked his emails and there are naked women in there, he got bitches CALLIN at weird times, like, I was givin him head and O-M-G Ant, I seen some chick named Tori calling him at 1...AM...1! What should I do? I-I cant bring myself to leave him alone!”

Bitch is you dumb? Like really…bitch, is you dumb!?

As much as I wanna see women win, too many of you ladies are allowing men to treat you just any ol' way and you seem perfectly fine with it. Ladies, I love ya'll but some of ya'll...ain’t S***! Ya’ll (claps hands) never (claps hands ) learn (claps hands, claps hands)!

No matter how much sh*t these dudes put ya’ll thru, ya'll keep going back for more and more and I know love is strong but lets talk about BEFORE you even fall in love with the guy; is you dumb or nah? A lot of you ladies have a bark that rings loud but a bite that is equivalent to that of a teething child. To all the, “I can’t leave him cuz I love him even tho he’s been doing me wrong since we’ve been dating,” women of the world, this blog is for you.

according to single ass Renee

 

Your girlfriends, yo momma, yo sister(s), yo granny, yo co-workers will all tell you that you can do better but honestly...they're lying to ya ass! You’re in a bad relationship, you’ve been in one for a long period of time and every single time something goes wrong, they break out the lil’ ass violin and spring that, “girl don’t worry about it, you’ll be fine, you can do better” sh*t on you like that's suppose to inspire some change in you; bruh! I’m all for motivation and what not but here’s the thing: you can’t TEACH self worth! You know what fear is? Fear is knowing that the guy that treats you like garbage will one day stop treating you like such and he will leave. When you have self worth and you realize this, you brush it off and go on with your life but when you don't...you wallow in your tears. This applies to women with college degrees, women who collect welfare checks, and every other kind in-between; you’re no different. White, Black, Latino, Asian, Middle Eastern, Native American...you're no different. Every damn Friday or Saturday there’s a female, at home, waiting for her man to get in after being out all night, smelling like liquor, stripper ass, and cheap cologne so she can curse him out and have make up sex! That is her LIFE! “I’m sorry I did you wrong” sex and breakfast in the morning and a few nights of “let me hide my tongue in the crack of your ass” will hold her over until the next argument. Now most don't understand why this happens because a lot of women haven't experienced this (yet). I’m here to tell you this: you havveee to stop giving people credit for knowing their worth; period! I can give you the numbers to a bunch of great men who will treat you like a queen but if yo ass has a ton of baggage, you don’t love yourself enough to allow a man to love you, you have no self worth…what’s the point? By your friends telling you, “you can do better yada yada,” you will go home and STILL text/call the dude that does you wrong on a daily basis! Misery doesn’t only love company…it turns you women ON! What you also gotta think about is if she’s only had a handful of BFs in her life:

• Sean: was her first love but it didn’t last long
• Mark: a rebound to help get over Sean who was ok, but eh
• Keith: college sweetheart who treated her ok but cheated too damn much
• Tony: great guy but...he didn't satisfy her sexually so she cheated and he found out and took her back...

So, she dumps Tony and is now with her current...John:
a combination of all the previous guys she’s ever been with mixed with his own style and personality. He’s mediocre and she knows that but guess what? It sure as hell beats being with those other guys despite the fact that she still gets treated like s***. Settling is what we call this folks.

Honestly, some of you ladies are only as good as the men you’ve actually been with. You take a person who flips burgers and make them a general manager, I mean, sure, to someone who has been a general manager before, that might not mean much but to that regular ol' burger flipping employee? That means the WORLD and then some; same thing goes for these females. He might not be making a lot of money, hell, he might not even be MCM (Man Crush Monday) material but if he is texting her sweet good mornings and chatting with her on the phone at night and calling her pretty, I mean that right there is enough (for some women) to feel like a queen...

HA, how blinded is she!


oh no bitch you stupid

Any woman that can sit there and tell you to your damn face that, “he’s a good liar” or something else along those lines in order to save face from looking stupid, like we don't know what's going on...needs to be shot. That playing victim sh*t is weak. Once you allow him to slide and slide like he’s a damn baseball player with sh*t upon sh*t and and then play victim: you have a problem. I couldn’t see the chalkboard as kid and blamed bad grades on everybody/thing BUT myself and my father whipped MY ass. I didn’t wanna look like little gay Urkel with glasses, so, I never said anything. You know who suffered and who had a sore ass? Me! Just like you women who allow guys to say whatever and do whatever and you KNOW it ain’t right; you suffer, not him. He’s gonna continue to have sex withwhatshername. He’s gonna continue to use your car when you gotta go to school to go chill with his boys and come pick yo ass up late. No one cared if I got a C- in Math because I couldn’t see and no one cares if you marry dumbass Darren.

You know what men are good at:

• Getting mad over sports
• Letting our pride get the best of us
• And manipulating women

There’s not a man alive who hasn’t “tested” their woman. A man will try you, just to see how dumb yo ass is and see what he can and can not get away with. He’ll stop texting, he’ll stop calling, he’ll stay out later and later, he’ll start to flirt with other women more and more, he’ll call you out your name, hell, he’ll even say some off the wall mess about another woman in front of you! If he is successful with getting away with the behavior, it will continue. It’ll go from: double tapping a pic on Instagram and leaving "flirty emojis"…to you bringing it up to him…to him in her DM getting the number…to you "finding" a nude pic of her in his photos…to you bringing it up to him…to him going out with his boys…and you finding out from one of his boy's GF that the boys are actually in Miami for the weekend, tryna convince D. Wade to come to NY…to you bringing it up to him…to him denying everything and calling you crazy…to you two arguing…to you guys having sex…to him doing the same exact sh*t gain a month later…to you finding out and saying nothing.

You might laugh and say that’s not real, but it happens all the damn time and it could very much be your situation right now…but that’s no business of mine.

If you keep looking the other way and settling for make up sex and thinking that will ease the pain; you're stupid. Stevie Wonder is blind, so, he gets a pass but you…YOU?!? You don't get a pass for allowing yourself to be mistreated and blaming him and not blaming yourself! You think by looking the other way, not saying anything that he will eventually hang himself with the rope you've been giving him but boo boo...his ass will take that rope you gave him and hang you and move on to the next one. At some point, you'll decide to do something but he knows how to bring you down from level 10 to a 2 and guess what? You don’t have the ovaries to leave his ass. At this point he doesn’t think you’re dumb- oh noo, he knows it! “I’m not stupid, I know what you’re doing!!! I know you f***in whatshername off of Twitter Brian!” is like telling the bully, “I walk home by myself so if you wanna beat me up, you can,” instead of telling someone about the bullying. Stop letting s**t slide.

and you thought Yvette had it bad...bruh!

 

And why should he!? All that crying, man, you just want someone to feel sorry for that ass. You run crying to him and what...he's gonna magically care? No! Wipe them tears and realize this guy’s actions and words don’t go hand-in-hand. Saying he cares and actually giving a damn are not the same thing, but you don’t understand that. How do you know if someone cares? They show it! If you’re hungry- you get something to eat. You tired- you take a damn nap. Sex, getting your ass ate, some designer bag, and a movie/dinner date will never ever be enough to fix long-term relationship problems; just saying. Now of course he cares about you…he cares if you die! He will continue to dick you down and rub your shoulders and allow you to sleep on his chest after it’s all said and done. A man who shows you respect at all times…is deserving of your love…not just your vagina and mouth. You think because you look good in a selfie, he won't cheat? You think because you suck his penis every damn day, he won't creep? There's more to it...no...there's LEVELS to this relationship sh**! Don't feed me that love ish when love has you miserable. YES, men eff up but on a man who f***s up on a consistent damn basis is not the man for you!

...according to WHO!?!

I’ve seen this on Instagram so much man, it’s just hilarious. I love a woman with confidence but never should that be confused with…idk, ummm, egotistical arrogance. Your ego will keep you single ladies and your ego will keep you in a relationship that should've been done a long damn time ago! You Let Beyoncé tell you that his ass CAN be replaced if and when he f***s up and guess what? He still drinking the OJ and eating up all the pasta noodles with fried hot dogs and using his check to go to the club to buy drinks! This dude has had the free range to do whatever and say whatever to you for years and the threats you come up with get thrown out the window, why? Because the moment you muster up the courage to be Wonder Woman…you’re ass naked getting penis Moon Walked inside of you. Regret losing you? Bitch, he hardly cares that he has you! These men don’t respect you women and you expect one of these dudes to give you a ring…bitch is you dumb?! We can’t control the weather- but we can control who we decide to deal with (cliché), how? OPEN YOUR EYES TO HIS SH*T! You living with a man that doesn't respect you; you're dumb. He gives you penis and not an apology; you're dumb. He cheats on you and you KNOW he's lying when he's telling you no and you let it go till months later and threaten to leave but don't; you're dumb. You giving a dude money and he's using it to do the complete opposite of what he said he would be doing with it and you KEEP giving him money and then complain to him that he's using you; you dumb. He puts his hands on you while you argue because he can't control his temper and you're f***ing him hours later; you're dumb.

...but I digress

Can you do better? Yes. Will you do better? Well, that’s dependent on you hun. T.I. has a song about not wanting mediocre and people are responding to him like, “n****…you married Tiny!” You know how many people settle for mediocre? Plenty! You know how many women settle for men that are half-assed? Plenty! There are plenty of great men that will treat you right, I mean, hell, get ya ass up and go out and enjoy life and mingle and start conversations with the cute guy at the bar or on line at Chiptole! A man will accept your flaws but too many of you ladies have this attitude about you like someone owes you something because of what happened in the past with whatshisface. I’m not paying for the crimes of the last douche, so, you better get ya ass in order before you meet me or be working ya ass off towards doing so because the same behavior will continue: the vicious cycle of you being used and abused. You know what the issue for a lot of you single or in bad relationship/marriage women are: your mindset. You put sh** in your mind and call it truth and its nothing more than bull AND sh**, honestly. You’re worried about everything but checking the man you’re with and that’s why you’re looking stupid to others. You’ve been hurt so bad but with these Instagram posts/memes and Rob Hill/Just Mike/Tony G. got ya ass so caught up in your feelings…you don’t know if you wanna be single or go get a dick to replace the vagina you have. WISE UP LADIES! No man will jump through your window and give you his number; it takes going out. No stop fuc*ing you over; it takes leaving his ass and making him learn the hard way. Part of the reason you can’t do better is because you aren’t willing to work for it. You're too afraid, shy, or prideful to put yourself out there, and would rather deal with lames in your comfort level. Finding a better man is too hard, so stick with the one you got until he tosses you to the side. Even after he moves on, complain about how good he used to treat you as if you suddenly got amnesia when it comes to the nights he had you crying your eyes out. I laugh at you types because ya'll are the MAIN ones tryna offer someone advice on how to do better; bitch, shut ya ass up and check your man. I can write a million blogs and you can read them word for word like (some) of you do now and guess what…

Nothing

@renaissnace_brotha_

Bronocchio & The Boy Who Cried Thot

I'm often asked why I don't write blogs about men and yada yada yada and honestly, the answer is simple:

I, don't, give, a sh*t, about, these, dudes!

I mean in a sense I do, but really...I don't be caring.

The part of me that actually cares is the responsibility we as men have when dealing with women and the lack of accountability we as men hold ourselves to. Men are strong creatures that will hold sh** down and whip another dude's as the moment he gets outta line, but the moment it comes down to telling his woman the truth...

Yup, *Mike Woodson face* (former head coach of the New York Knicks...you know, that team with Melo on it...you know, Lala Anthony's husband).

Men, lieee! Now, of course you ladies knew this already but I figured I'd touch on it since I seem to touch on just about everything else.

I(ve) lied. I'm not saying I'm out here lying and sh** to women about sh** but the lies I hear that some men are telling women and getting away with; ridiculous! I will say this: women are better liars; always have, always will be. That's nothing to glorify but too many men are under the impression that the lies they tell, trump that of a woman...nah bruh, nah. The reason why I'm not lying to women no more...

I remember when Left Eye from TLC (RIP) set this n**** clothes on fire in that tub and that tub caught fire and that house caught fire and his house burneddddd down to the ground! I'm also reminded of the time of this song by R&B artist, Jazmine Sullivan, where she talked about busting the windows outta some n**** car and even tho my black ass don't own a car (yet), when I do get a car...I don't even want her weave strands being left in my car let alone a f***ing brick or some next s***! And lastly, I'm reminded of Lorena Bobbit...

I mean, she literally cut his wee-wee off...OFF!

But without further ado

*class is in session*

My D*** Big Or Nah:

I mean, sure, some dudes are packing but the ones who are usually bragging? That's a form of a deep seeded insecurity and they feel, "If I can convince her that I got a big ol' d***...she's gonna wanna f***!"

So what he do? Send you a d*** pic!

All that sh** he was talking and his sh** ain't even longer than the toothpick you get in the mall food court when they give you a sample of the food?!?! Oh hell nah! 7/10 of you dudes who claim to be packing, ain't packing! (some) Females will stroke a man's ego and tell him that it's "decent" and that sh*t ain't even a-ok! Dudes get gassed thinking they "Sweet D*ck Willie* but in reality...they be coming up short…like the collection plate with a cheap congregation. If 1 chick says you were a great, the next 1 says you were good, and the next 3 say you were, “iight,” there’s a problem; 1 great + 1 good + 3 iight’s = (doing calculations)…a fair and last time I checked, saying someone is fair in the sex department, wasn’t a good look. But ya’ll take that 1 chick who said ya’ll was great and go out in the world and tell all kinda lies; “I beat the p**** up, up, up,” when in all actuality, “you ain't even make her nut, nut, nut, nut, nut!" Just be honest! 8/10, she'll still let you have sex and if you know what you're doing, you'll get to do so over and over again.

We Gotta Good Thing Or Nah:

"I like you, I really do...but I don't want a relationship right now." - said by 94.29% of men

Peep the scenario:

Mike & Marsha are cool. They like each other. One day, she invites him over for a Netflix night...you know, that kinda night where you guys eat and watch half the movie because the other half of the movie you're in her so deep, you can feel her stomach! Marsha says,

“I’m not ready to be committed, solo, what’s gonna happen between us? I just got outta a bad relationship and to be honest...I'm just not ready.”

“I mean, I like you, but I’m not ready for a serious relationship right now…but we can be friends,” replies Mike…

WHAAT!! *Trey Songz voice*

This is a common lie guys tell females A LOT, when they just wanna have sex with no strings attached. Mike knew what he was doing. He knew what he was saying. He knew Marsha wanted him to take it down like Ray J did Kim K! All in all, he was running game like LeBron is about to do to these Bobcats! When Marsha stated, “…I’m not ready for a commitment,” this really meant, "I’m DTF (down to f___), only if you’re willing to commit!" At that point, this gave Mike the, “beat it up, even tho I’m not in a relationship” pass. At the end of the day, this will be a lie guys continue to tell…ladies, just be smart, use your words wisely because not being direct will get you hurt.

I Been Busy Or Nah:

BEST SH*T EVEEEER!

I'm joking, but no one is that damn busy where they cant send a text or call for a minute or two. Like seriously? We live in time where people live with their phones in their hands and guys? Sure, he might actually be busy but with school, work, his kids, running errands, and things of that nature, but honestly, there are so many opportunities to let someone you're talking to/married to/going out with know you're thinking about them. I've had this problem but, this ain't the blog for that to talk about women and their bullish*t, but no man is truly THAT busy; it's bs ladies. (some) Dudes be too busy...GETTING busy' respect it, check it, or neglect it (you know my motto). No dude wants to come off as being thirsty, so how is he gonna act? The exact opposite. “I’ve been too busy even for myself,” is utter malarkey, think about it; Monday – Friday evening I’ve been busy, (so I say), 6PM rolls around and you hit me up and all of a sudden, NOW I’m not busy? HA! Ladies, be careful, once you become “open” he becomes open, #ThinkAboutIt.

I Got Dem Js Or Nah:
I know a lot of dudes lying about basic sh*t like...Jordans because they think a woman will be like, "oh you aint got no damn degree but you got a Masters in Jordanology!" I know grown ass women who want matching sneakers with their man and matching f***ing clothes and matching f****ing Gucci belts and it's sickening! But what grown man lies about dressing nice? Like, this shouldn't even be a topic but dead ass it's crazy! Thanks to Instagram, dudes are able to search for a pic, crop it, add a filter, add some corny ass caption, and post it like it's theirs. You tell her you got all these Steve Harvey suits and Burberry ties and she comes to your house searching around and now she's looking like...

When you're in your mid 20s and up still lying about materialistic sh*t like that will impress a WOMAN...bruh, you need to look in the mirror...

and smash ya face.

Ima Leave Her For You Or Nah:
People think that side pieces are this new age thing anddd...they are not:
“Woman to Woman," - Betty Wright (my favorite)

"As We Lay" - Shirley Murdock 

"Friend of Mine" - Kelly Price

“Can’t Be the Other Woman" - Changing Faces

A man will fill your head up with this bs about, "leaving his main woman for you," and months down the line...it's the same f***ing sh*t! These songs illustrate just that: these dudes ain't loyal! Come and tell Renaissance Brotha how good that pu*** is that it'll make him leave the woman who washes his clothes, irons, cooks, cleans up his car, gives him money, sucks and f***s him whenever, wherever without fear of being seen and someone telling...

...I'll wait...

Oh yea b*tch, it ain't happening. This lie is great because he gets to keep manipulating you and he gets to go home to his girl like everything is cool. Oh, you thought he was doing something when he double tapped on your pic? Haaa! You MUST be on the same thing Frank Ocean was on while he was messing with the, “model broad w/ the Hollywood smileee,” to think that this bold face lie holds any kinda truth. Ladies:

DON’T (claps hands) GIVE HIM (claps hands) THE (claps hands) TIME OF DAY, (claps hands) UNTIL (claps hands) THE (claps hands) MAIN CHICK (claps hands) IS NO LONGER IN THE WAY (claps hands 2x)!!! 

I Got Kids...Or Nah:

Ahhh, the world we live in where men openly lie or decide to omit info about that they're fathers to women they decide to talk, outta fear of scaring her off or...because he just doesn't give a f***! The moment you treat your children like a hand in a game of Spades where your partner ask you, "how many you got homie," and you're like this...

shoot yourself. 

We're talking kids here...kids...not your baby mama situation...kids *A.I. voice*

So many women are understanding of a man who has kids because that helps them get some kinda understanding as to who you are and what you're about and what kinda man you will be (in a sense) to her/for her. A man who don't take care of his kids, more times than none won't take care of you REGARDLESS of the situation (I am willing to debate this one, even tho I am not a father). If he lying about his kids, sh*t, he might be lying about the girl who always drops them off who ain't his baby moms...

which brings me to my last point

She’s Just a Friend Or Nah:
I have many female friends, hell, I'm still best friends with one of my ex GF, why? Because we were FRIENDS before we got into a relationship. Now I know many women are gonna be like, "what the f*** do ya'll still need to be friends for?" When you're an adult, this crazy thing called maturity gets factored in and you're able to hold convos and go out and chill. Some dudes I know and some dudes you'll meet ladies aren't "just friends" with some of their female friends...they're f***ing them...and when I say f*cking, I mean, he's sticking his penis inside of her, from missionary, doggy, and reverse cowgirl. Because of Instagram, females are lead to believe that any female who tends to leave an emoji face or some kinda of comment that suggest more than the relationship actually is...that the dude is f***ing her. I'm here to say that's wrong...sometimes. Dudes will tell you this and erase the comment so fast, *phew*. When you ask him and he starts to smile, giggle, chuckle even...he's giving her the D in, and or around her mouth! This doesn't apply to new couples or "just talking/getting to know" because ya'll don't have sh"t established, so have a seat elsewhere. This applies to couple with some years because a dude will lie in your face while having sex, mid stroke, I'm talking while you're moaning and mutter to you that he is not f***ing the girl who ALWAYS takes ya'll order at Red Lobster. What you ladies need to do is to gather evidence, approach his ass, ask him, and if he denies, present it to him and then you slap his punk ass and then you find that b**** and ask her to do it for the Vine...while you cock your gun back!

*We at A Better Breed Of Man do not support gun violence and no adult problem should be handled with such brash decisions*

I'm not even gonna come up with some fancy ass ending: just don't lie fellas. I know it's hard because the truth hurts, hell, life hurts, point is, the one you love don't deserve that. Lie to your boss. Lie to the cop about to write you a ticket. Don't lie to your woman...KARMA SUCKS, TRUST ME I KNOW! We, have, to, do, BETTER guys and I mean that. If it has to start with one, so be it, but, let it be a step forward and not a step to the side or backwards. Be about progression…you’ll get more outta life. 

@Renaissance_Brotha_

Fumbles & Interceptions

Before I start, just a few things:

• chivalry has been around for, idk, forever! So with that being said: a guy (because this seems to be an issue [some] women have with [some] men) texting you "good morning" is NOT chivalry; it's just a kind gesture.
• communication is a two way street: not a one way or a dead end; #ThinkAboutIt
•keep your relationship problems/issues off of social networking sites...we don't care about'em! If its a cry for attention you want...hit up the person you're in the relationship with! The moment you post "x y z" someone is gonna chime in with "a b c" and you gonna be a-n-g-r-y.
•if you're near 30 or in your 30s...stop acting like you're in your early 20s/mid 20s; men and women. All the stubbornness, sense of entitlement, faking interest, so on and so forth will only get you put on that "Summer Jam" screen f****ng around, period.

*class is in session*

Let me tell you right now that this blog will focus on the mistakes we as men make in relationships; nothing more nothing less. I as a man have made tons of mistakes which is why my ex is my ex but I have learned from those mistakes and I would like to believe I am a better man for it.

To say that women are to blame for ALL relationship issues, is absurd. To say that there WON'T be bumps along the way, is ridiculous. To say that they have this virtual market where you can buy hair, clothes, diet supplements, weed, henny coladas, food, and damn near a spouse and we call this place Instagram...is down right ludicrous!

But I digress

We as men get too comfortable early in the relationship and forget that consistency is key. We forget that: whatever we did to win you over, should be done to keep you there as well. If we get you to let your guard down, we're content and that...is where we f*** up! So without further ado, here are some relationship mistakes us as guys make...

Ok...So Now What:
We meet the girl, get to know her, date, get to know her some more, date more, f***, date even more, f*** some more, get into a relationship, send flowers randomly,do a bunch of romantic sh*t, listen to her complain about how much she hates working at Victoria Secret on weekends, we cuddle up and watch Bad Girls Club when we'd rather watch a blind person change a baby's diaper in a snow storm, I mean, we do all this stuff and then...we fall flat. We're caring, affectionate, honest, and open in the beginning, thinking that because we've, "won her heart" if you will, we can kick our feet up; negative.

Fellas, the worst thing you can do is slack off. She kept you at a distance to get a better understanding of you, you won her over, now you're the one being distant and you're mad because she's starting to grow distant? Bruh! Once you push her to that point of no return, it'll be late night R&B mixed with crying, wishing you can get that ol thang back! The same attention you gave her in the beginning, keep that consistent throughout the relationship.

I Can See Myself With You, Like...Forever:
On one side of the coin: you'll get the guy who is afraid of commitment and on the other side of that coin: you'll get the guy who will let you know, "I can see me spending my life with you," only after knowing you a few months! "Yea, I can see you being my queen! We'd make some good lookin babies. Plus, moms is talkin about grandkids.

Wait a min, wait a min - Kevin Hart voice.

For some females, that's enough to change the number, change the Twitter name, deactivate the FB, and start a whole new Instagram! Fellas, take it eaassy! Forever tho? Forever is a mighty long time to spend with a person you've only known for 2 months, 2 weeks, and 4 days. Pump ya brakes. Let time take its course and if it's meant to be, it will be.

Another Again/..That's It?:
First few months we're like ANIMALS! You can't keep us from jumping on top you any opportunity we get,

In the mirror while you're doing your hair/in the shower while you're applying Nair/by the cabinets where the dishes go/in back row of the movie theaters, on the low

After some months pass, females are left asking, "is that it...?". Some dudes get into relationships and think minimal sex is cool and don't realize and what happens is that, weeks go by, and we haven't even considered to have sex because subconsciously, them weeks really feel like only a few days. Contrary to popular belief, sex is a major deal in most relationships (I stand by that last sentence). Now on the flip side of that you have dudes that want it too much (yes, I said too much). For some females who work, go to school, have to come home cook and clean...sex can be the last thing on her mind. I know you read that but seriously, think about that for a minute or two. It's not that she doesn't want sex, it's just, she doesn't want it all the time and what happens is that because we as men don't understand, we take that as, "oh this b**** wanna act up and not f***? Cool, let me go f*** wit a side jawn!"

Bruh!

Learn to compromise! period, point, blank!

Attention Deficit:

One of the things I know to be certain is that when you pay lil attention to your partner...your partner will give her attention elsewhere. It's like we're there physically but mentally, we've checked out. I'm not saying, quit your job, diss ya homeboys, or spend less time with your family just to be all up, under her now, but ignoring her? Will be the quickest way to have every Big Sean, Justin Timberlake, Rick Ross, Trey Songz, Lil' Mama in the face, look-a-like at her door wanting to "do it for the Vine" inside her...and trust me...she will let 'em do it.  The sad thing about it is, she'll actually consider entertaining them because you have now created what I like to call, "The Attention Void". Don't let it get to a point where you begin to lose sight of who she is and the reasons you're with her. Either you find that necessary balance that all relationships need or find yourself arguing with some dude that looks like her celebrity man crush.

I'll takeee, "backbone" for 500 Alex:
Dude + no backbone = a "welcome home" mat. Your woman will treat you like a welcome mat when you become too relaxed in your relationship. F*** all that submission sh*t...BE A MAN! These women want m-e-n, not a damn dog! Yet sadly, some men believe that the only way they can keep a woman around is by doubling as her pet, and agreeing with everything that she says. Big damn mistake buddy...big mistake! She'll start to feel this sort of, "entitlement", to make you do whatever, feel whatever, act however, wherever, when you don't stand up for yourself and you become a "yes man":

"Yes dear, I'll cut my hair even though I cut it last week."
"Yes babe, we can have sex, even tho my leg hurts from getting dunked on by Terry at the gym."
"Yea babe, your mother can come visit, even tho when she brings that damn dog that likes to piss all over the couch."

The ladies from my job always tell me, "Ant-nee (Anthony w/ a Jamaican dialect), we want a big, strong man, not a lickkle dog.". Case and point: ladies want a man who will stand firm beside them and not quiver underneath them...

Treadmillship:
Treadmill + relationship = treadmillship. How many of you have been or are currently in, a relationship that feel similar to a treadmill? Time sees to go by and by but certain things seem to remain the same. (some) Females hate that stagnant feeling in regards to relationships, which is why ultimatums come up when things get to a standstill:

"Either, (hands clap) you (hands clap) get (hands clap) ya sh*t together or (hands clap) I'm (hands clap) though (hands clap, hands clap) through!"

or
"Listen, we've been dating for 5 years now and the convo of engagement hasn't even come up yet...what do you want me to do? Because I can and I won't wait forever you know..."

I mean, the last one is a lil' over exaggerated, but, you get the point.

The biggest mistake we can make as guys is thinking that every thing is mashed potatoes and gravy, with the relationship stuck with no direction.

Here's the thing...

I feel we as guys need to communicate better because with that, we open up more doors for opportunities to grow together, or, grow apart. Mistakes will happen, I mean, sh*t, what relationship won't encounter some stumbles along the way? The goal is to push forward! Make sure you have a direction in which you want the two of you to go in. Have an understanding of self because as a man...if you don't have an understanding of self, there's no way you will be mentally ready to be the nigga/man/king whatever, for any female out here. Realize your mistakes, compromise, be HONEST not only with her but with yourself because if you're not honest with who you are...you think she'll take you seriously?

Nah, the answer to that is nah. Don't let the best thing slip away...because you wanna be a di**, trust me, I know.

@Renaissance_Brotha_