The Stevie J. Theory

If you are unfamiliar with the show, Love & Hip Hop ATL, please take a lil time to look up the show and come back.

One of the more popular characters off the show is a lovable, funny, music producer known in the Hip Hop world by the name of Stevie J. Besides being so charming; he's an all around manipulative d***! His intentions might be good some of the time, but every other time...he's a d***! I like him tho because he's real and upfront about a lot of his actions. So for today's class, we'll focus on men LIKE Stevie J and the women, who tend to fall for them. If you're familiar with who he is, great! If you're not, Google him before you read this and then come back...

And enjoy the mother****** show!

SHABBA!

*class is in session*

Love sucks! Ok, I don't mean that but THIS, I do mean: at some point in your life, you will find that one person to love you the way you want to be loved, forever and a day. Sappy, I know, but it's something I truly believe. Here's the kicker tho; although there are plenty fish in the sea, no matter how great of a catch you would like to think you are, there's always gonna be somebody who looks at you and says, "tuuh...I'm good!" and "toss you ass back in that water". You see, there's a big difference between a guy being your friend vs. him being the potential love of your life and many times women get that confused for whatever reason and all hell tends to break loose! We as men, aren't that complicated when deciding such tings! Let's look at it like this: you have your "lead actress" and then you have your "supporting actress." The "leading lady" is like your GF, plain and simple. Now on the OTHER hand, you have your "supporting actress," who is not QUITE like your GF but, is similar in some ways. These "supporting actresses" aren't side pieces, heauxs, or anything like that, oh no; these are girls guys meet and sometimes treat like our real GFs but we never give them the title. They’re simply practice, a warm up for the "lead actress" we're currently seducing or the lead actress that we know will come our way. When you think about this in terms of Love & Hip Hop ATL (and I hope you did your HW) you think about the "love triangle" that is Stevie J x Mimi x Joseline.

Mimi: is the on again/off again "leading lady" (baby mother of Stevie J's daughter) who gets put thru more sh*t than a hog in mud.Joseline: is the on again/off again "supporting actress" to Stevie J with hopes of becoming an international "supastar" who gets put thru more sh*t than a shovel in horse sh*t!Stevie J: ...is the mother****** man! Shaft, Dolomite, ain't got S*** on him! If you ain't "on the bus," (as he frequently puts it from time to time) you better catch up, or get left!

Now let's look at how all of that applies to you reading.

Nowadays, these "supporting actresses" think they are gaining points by meeting family and friends when in reality...none of that means sh*t! You think meeting my moms is gonna somehow make me wanna wife you up? No b****! You think because you and my brothers think LeBron is a piece a sh*t and y'all laugh at his receding hairline, that ima put a baby in you? No b****! You think because you and my lil sister follow each other on IG/Twitter and repost/retweet each others sh*t, that you've become closer to me? No b****! Oh, so you hyped at the fact that my uncle Vern said you look good and felt on your booty just a lil bit...that n**** was drunk and he do that to everybody! I brought one girl around my family and they loved the hell outta her! Hell, it got to a point where they asked about her more than they did about me and WE'RE RELATED! Ladies, don't confuse a nice gesture for an act of love unless otherwise stated, or you'll only end up feeling like s*** and looking stupid. A dude can bring you around his parents and say, "she might be the one," in front of you and yo ass will light up like the sky on the fourth of July and his ass won't mean it! I'm not saying this to crush hopes and dreams, I'm saying it from a realistic point of view. Men play this manipulative game and women follow right along with it, happier than a kid at a school pizza party. Once again, I'm not telling you this to crush your dreams and spirit, I'm telling you this so you can be aware of what COULD (be) happen(ing). Enjoy your time around his family. Laugh, joke, eat, but don't read too far into it. Just because you meet his family doesn't mean you’re close to joining his family. So don't hop on Twitter talking about, "babe got me around his family! His moms can cook her ass off...gotta love my mother-in-law!" And speaking of Twitter...

There's no need for me to put on any social network that we are BF & GF. "Put you're in a relationship with me on Facebook, so I know it's real!" Uhhh, no! "Post a pic & tag me in it, so they know it's real!" Uhhh, no! "Tweet that you love me babe, so they know it's real!" Uhhh, no! "Po...," you get the point I'm tryna make. You think I'm gonna be dumb enough to say we're in a relationship when we're only dating? Ha! If I take you on a date here and there every other week and don't mention anything about you being my GF, but you have concluded that after a few months of us just "dating"...then I'm in a relationship with my barber, hell, I'm in a relationship with the dude at the deli who sells me the scratch offs because we see each other just as much as I see yo ass. Men aren't stupid to state that you two are in a relationship, why? Because it lessens his "pool of pu***"! You think he's gonna dig himself a hole all because you want to make it "Instagram official"? Not gon happen, neva! If he hasn't given you the title in real life, why would he acknowledge your ass in the cyber one? Only dummies make their "supporting ladies" social network official knowing they’re going to be up at 2am liking pics of girls they really want to be with. #FactsOfLife

Now I know what you're thinking, "does it get any worse?" Yup, but not entirely too bad...keep reading.

(Some) women are quick to say, "I throw on that Freak-um dress and some heels and I will have him hooked!" Uhhh, no! You think just because you throw on some leggings, some Jordan's, and a cut up shirt I'm suppose to be impressed? Nope, try again! You think a maxi dress with a thong in between yo ass with some wedges and your make-up done nice, is gonna get my d*** hard? Nope! (ok, a tad). The point I'm tryna make is that, guys don't really care too much about how you dress ESPECIALLY if you look like every other chick...then you're a basic b****! And no (real) man wants a basic b****! Just like you don't like him sagging his pants like all those dudes that you see on the block, he doesn't want someone who looks like the girl he was dancing with at the club last night or the annoying chick from work who's always fashionably late. Sure, we like a lil cleavage, a lil make-up done nicely, a nice ass in some jeans or whatever, but there's no need to come out the house looking like you're about to audition for the next Rick Ross, Lil' Wayne music video because you think that's what all men like! Noooo! It's nice, but it shouldn't be the norm. Getting us to break our neck to look at you is easy; getting us to want to be with your ass is the hard part. You know why Stevie J keeps Joseline around (other than the sex is crazy, I imagine)? Because she has sex appeal. You know WHY he goes back to Mimi time and time again, other than the fact that she's his baby mama? Because SHE has class. A woman who knows how to carry herself will always beat out a woman who only looks to carry herself for attention purposes. It’s not all about image, it’s mostly personality. Let’s be honest, a lot of women are annoying. Men are afraid to say that, but a lot of you gorgeous women annoy the hell out of us. It’s not about being ratchet or giving attitude, that’s easy to handle. Talking too much, being flighty, being too needy, not communicating– that sh*t will get you left alone with the quickness  A woman with some swag and confidence out beats the woman with just swag, 9/10 and those are the ones that get that title regardless of how long you've been in the "supporting role" position.

"So how do you feel when a girl says, 'good p*** make a n**** listen!'?" - female student in front, far right.

...yea, listen to sound of his d*** going in and outta your vagina!

"But what if he stayed around for months before they even had sex, and its not about sex...its about love."? - male student in the back, far right.

She's the "supporting role," not Kat Stacks. Listen, he's doing this so he can be ready for when "the one" comes along into the picture. Men know that the lead actress is going be tough as nails to have sex with, so there's no need to focus on the sex right out the gate. He's not coming over to seduce you midway into that Netflix movie so he can slam dunk the d*** in you; he's coming over to talk, chill, and better get to know you. Women can be used for more things than their vagina. Just because he’s not trying to throw the pipe in every time he sees you doesn't mean he’s not using you...manipulation is a b**** huh? Don't worry, we're almost done.

You know how much it hurts Stevie J and guys like him to not be able to be with someone they love dearly, especially the mother of the child? Dudes are sensitive, contrary to popular belief. A lot of you reading this are probably thinking its bs but it's the truth, we get hurt, we push people away, we put up walls, and communicate from behind that wall hoping you understand. Girls don’t seem to understand when a man is in a fragile state because we try and hide it. We’ll still go out, laugh, joke, and watch sports like we’re normal. But internally we’re still thinking about how ohwhatshername told us "I don't love you anymore," and is f***in some other dude, in another state. That's a pain that's very real for men...and was once real for me not too long ago. You think his homeboy is gonna allow him to cry on his shoulder? Nope! He's gonna say, "it's ok man...Tisha & Kia wanna meet up tonight, try and f*** Kia." We f*** Kia and she now becomes the "supporting actress" because our hearts won't allow us to give her such a BIG role in our lives. Somewhere down the line we'll heal, but for now, it's all about getting over that old one, and getting under a new one. No matter how much she held you down, the chances of her becoming your main...slim to none, ironic, I know.

Ladies, ladies, LADIES...don't (hand clap) play (hand clap) a (hand clap) role (hand clap) that (hand clap) you (hand clap) know (hand clap) you're (hand clap) not (hand clap) in a position to play (hand clap, hand clap)

Many of you watch Love & Hip Hop and say, "oh that could never be me, I could never be Mimi or Joseline," and end up in situations just like them. You think just because your vagina is good, it'll keep him at home? Nope! You think because you can cook, it'll keep him under you? Nope! If I'm your man and I want you to be my GF, I'm gonna give you every damn indication that you're my woman, period, point, blank! We can go out on dates, have sex, talk about a future, meet each others families...I can dress up in leather pants, some Gucci shades, a Gucci polo, and a Rolex, but that don't make me Kevin damn Hart now does it? Y'all let the lil things get to you and make it to where, in YOUR head, you're a couple but in reality, that isn't the case. You're a ladder, that leading lady is at the top, get it? Got it? Good. Y'all stay in these position, praying for brighter days and then outta nowhere, get blindsided. Don't be a Mimi, don't be a Joseline, be you! Never allow a man to dictate your worth FOR YOU, only you should be doing that. F***in around w/ dudes like Stevie J...and you'll forever be on that bus...but what do I know, right?

Feedback and questions and concerns and suggestions are always welcomed btw!

@renaissance_brotha_