He's Not That Into You, Respect The Curve

Me: So, when we chillen again?
Her: I gotta get back to you. I got a busy work week coming up and I don't wanna plan something and something come up, you know.
Me: But isn't your schedule set?
Her: Yea, and?
Me: And, if your schedule is set, and you know what time you get off everyday, how could something that WE plan, together, get rescheduled?
Her: I mean, I'm just keeping my options open. I loved our first date and I would like to see you but I...
Me: But you're swerving me? Be honest.
Her: Those are your words, not mine. I would like to see you again...I just don't know when Sha...
Me: Don't even have to finish that...I'll be in touch.

Was I upset or anything like that? No. I wholeheartedly respect anybody that can keep it 100% with me at ALL TIMES! In this particular case, I saw it coming and once I began to hear another man's name come out, I knew what it was.I was being swerved. I've been swerved more than the Yankees has championships! I can handle rejectionI've learned to handle rejection as I got older and what rejection does is this:

1) keep you down and discourage you from trying again or
2) it can make you look at what might have went wrong, work on that, and approach the next situation, differently.

Now on the flip side...I've swerved more women than the Knicks have championships (they have 2, I've swerved 4 to be exact). Sometimes, women miss the signs that are in front of them because often times, those signs aren't so clear. Other times, they're clearer than a MOTHERF****!!! This piece doesn't come from a place of malice or hurt or any of that (no-no). I'm not using this platform of mine to talk down on the opposite sex or belittle them any (no-no). I'm using this platform of mine to help the women of the world (ok, the ones who frequent my blog) to get a better understanding of what it means when a guy is JUST not that into them as they are lead to believe.

*class is in session*

I know what you're thinking, "what in the HELL does swerve mean?" Well, according to urbandictionary.com, "swerve" is often used to imply dodging someone.

Example:
Brandon: Yo, y'all wait for me! I wanna go to lunch with y'all.
Maria: You really gon wait for him?
Jon Jon: Nah, I'm bout to swerve him and tell him we bout to go Subway!

I digress...

No female wants to be swerved! Y'all will do everything in yall powers to swerve a dude before he swerves you, why? Because (some) women don't know HOW to deal with rejection in a rational manner and will allow it to harbor for a long period of time and so on and so forth. On the other hand...a lot of y'all aren't reading the warning signs placed in front of you! There's this thing called...*thinking to self*...oh, I got it...it's called A HINT! Remember when you were younger and you would play a game and somebody didn't wanna give you a DIRECT response/answer and they would give you a hint? Well, men do the same thing, but we do it in different ways and the following will help you to be able to better identify...

If hints were horse sh*t, you'd be Miley Cirus twerkin all in it! Sure, certain signs aren't that easy to recognize like a guy not calling and texting you if he’s not interested, because men who do that will still entertain you in different ways. "Yo, you really need to stop hittin me up, I'm not feeling you like that," usually gets translated into some sorta bs mixed signal. Sure, he might be thinkin, "damn, you're personality is boring as sh*t but you got some good ass p****...I'll hit you when I need some of those back shots," but what gets said is..."oh yea, oh yea, I enjoyed it too...I can't wait to see you again babe (insert smiley emoji)." Most dudes are gonna curtail what they REALLY wanna say because honestly, things flow better that way, so, he'll keep texting and what not, even tho he's not that interested. Dudes will fake interest in an effort to spare feelings. It’s ironic, by refusing to be rude and leading women on, we create this fake reality which not only wastes her time, but ends up scarring her worse than that initial rejection would have. You think Mike is being nice when he tells you he's busy Monday-Friday to grab something to eat but FINDS time to talk and text with you a majority of the day...hmmm, something smells fishy. You think he doesn't want to get into a relationship with you because he told you over and over...and over, how his last GF did him wrong but he finds time to get into your panties and doesn't look to be in a relationship with you anytime soon...hmmm, something smells fishy. He can tell you the grass is blue and the sky is green and explain the SH*T outta why it is but because you're so caught up, you can't see what dude is doing! Dude ain't busy, he's not incomplete like Sisqo was, you're not his type, and he's not into you like that. He's still a boy, dressed up like a man...give that man an Emmy!

That man performs like Denzel and TALKS pretty damn smooth...but the two of y'all never talk about sh*t! While looks may draw you to each other, one conversation can be the difference between turning someone on and turning someone off. There are girls who assume that because a guy asked for her phone number that he’s interested, that’s half true. He was interested initially, but that doesn't mean you are going to automatically keep his attention. You could be great the first few weeks and then, you fall flat. You know what it's like meeting a new chick? Like Tyrone Biggums taking a hit of CRACK! We as men act like Rick Ross at an all you can eat buffet when we meet a new chick! If you're not doing your job and we've been on a few dates and things are just blah and we meet someone new...8/10 you're getting swerved hun. You think those basic ass convos y'all have mean something? Nah. Think about all of what yall talk about. Now I want you to think about how much of that is VALUABLE info....calculate that...*add the 1*...if you guys spend 1 1/2 hours or more on the phone and only 20-sumthin mins of it is useful info, that's something to think about. The contents of your conversation will reveal all if you’re willing to take your head out of your ass, stop smiling, and actually pay attention. When a dude is young, all he has is his convo, why? Because he's not allowed to do much BESIDES talk and get to know you & plus, it's bs convo. An older man ain't got time to be spending on the phone, talking about basic issues like y'all did in HS. There’s a difference between a man who asks how your day was and means it, and one who is just trying to get brownie points. If he really cares he will ask deeper questions: is your co-worker still getting on your nerves? How's so&so doing? Hell, if he kicks you off the phone because he knows you have school work to do, *ding ding ding*. A man who is interested will be invested. If you’re a grown woman and your “friend” only wants to talk about sending nudes, when you’re coming over, or always playing video games or watching t.v., not paying you no-neva-mind, then he’s not invested in your life, he’s invested in his life. Stop the HS sh*t and grow up.

"But the guy I'm with took me out already and we're friends on social networks!" - student sitting in the middle.

I'm glad you said that because that brings me to my next point: a date or two and following each other on social networks means sh*t these days! You think ima let you tag me in your pics when we go out on a date? Nah. B****, crop me out the photo and say you're out with "him"...b****es like "him. Now, just because we talk a lot via DM, FBM, etc means nothing! How the hell can I tell if you're being nice or sarcastic via a convo thru your inbox? I can't, unless you state it. Guys are a lot more thirsty, which is easy to pick up on but ladies, it's done differently. Just because he entertains you on these networks, doesn't necessarily mean he's feeling you. Honesty is brutal, but it’s also the most decent thing a person can practice. Dudes who are interested, will ask you for your number and continue it offline, and as the two of you have built up enough familiarity, he might even ask you on a date. Now I know a lot of you ladies will shake ya heads at this but if a guy likes you, he will try to have sex with you early. We might get rejected but a man likes a challenge.  This is done...well, I won't say why it's done. Guys who aren't really interested may still try to hit, but it’s a half-ass attempt because she’s not worthy of his "LeBron in the Playoffs type game." You got him to take you to the place that has great margaritas and mediocre steak, round of applause. But what did you learn on that date? I'll answer: sh*t. He wasn't that interested so he allowed you to pick the place and lies to you when he said, "oh yea, I had a good time, when ima see you again?" Probably never because you ain't let him hit it, you ordered mad sh*t and only ate a quarter of it, talked about how North West is a dumb name for a child, how your professor is always late, and...you ended the date with a messily ass church hug, you're lucky if you get a text! It's not all about sex, but, if you're not f***king by date two, considered yourself canceled.

If a man likes you, he will do any and every thing it is in his powers to see you, point blank. If he rearranges his schedule just to fit you in, that's a clear sign he wants to see you especially if he plans the damn date. If he gives you some sh*t like, "I can't do it, I tol my cousin I'd wait on line with him for them new Js," or some s*** like, "I don't wanna stay out too late because I have work at 1...pm," clearly that's a sign he's not into you. No man makes excuses not to see a woman he likes, but he will create a laundry list to avoid the women he doesn't like. Open your f***ing eyes, if he was down for you, he would be around you. Where’s that "him" you’re refusing to talk to other guys for? Where’s that "him" you've been making subtweets/post about? Where’s the "him" that you’re thinking about right now? He’s where he wants to be, and clearly that isn't with you. Talk is cheap...and so is the leather quality on the Jordans he wears while he's out with the chick he's REALLY interested in! If you think you're too "all that" to not get curved...consider the last guy you've talked to and it didn't go accordingly...I'll wait...

Stop ignoring the signs and making excuses! If a guy is not that into, he's simply not that into you. Fellas, stop leading this women on as well. Not only are you f***ing yourselves up but you're damaging her as well! Insecurities don't just come from family, friends, and life experiences, they come from the relationships they have with men! At the end of the day tho, ladies

...you gotta respect the curve.

@renaissance_brotha_