B.A.D.

*cracks neck*

I know what you're thinking, "what does B.A.D. mean!?"
Well, B.A.D. = bitch ass dude(s)

That's right: B**** ASS DUDES!

Now if you already knew that, kudos to you and if you didn't, you just learned something new; and learning is only HALF the battle...
but oh how I wish I could say that about some of you dudes out there!

In 2013, some of you dudes STILL ain't winning, but you want us to believe that you are? Get ALLLL the way the f*** outta here with that; ain't nobody got time fa dat! I've lost respect for you dudes, why? Because you've become just like the women you often talk about, (re)tweet about, slander on FB, and make sub post about on Instagram. Gossiping and spreading rumors?!?! That's what females do! S*** like that is never cool! I Hope this entire blog gets texted/emailed/retweeted/reposted to you!

(peep how I just flowed there)

But I digress,

But on a serious note, it's gotten to the point where women have come to me and begged me to write a blog on the fact that: at times, their man makes them feel like they're in a "same sex" relationship/marriage. The behavior a lot of you "so called men" display has gotten to a point where women are saying, "enough is enough already...MAN UP!" This goes for Blacks, Asians, Latinos, Middle Eastern, Whites, Jews, Christians, Catholics, Muslims, Atheist, fat, skinny, tall, short, old, young, middle aged, educated, stupid, from the dude with a career, to the dude who sells weed and works at Rite Aid: ALL OF YOU NEED TO STEP IT THE F*** UP! If it sounds like I'm being too critical, good. If it sounds like I'm judging, good, glad we're on the same page. A lot of you dudes don't know better, so you can't do better, because you haven't learned better, because no one has taken the time to properly SHOW you just what better IS! I don't speak for all men, let's get that clear. I'm not speaking up for all the women of the world, let's make that clear as well. This comes from a place of self realization and what I've realized as I've gotten older: I ain't shit and we NEED to do better...so peep the piece I'm presenting.
*class is in session*

I don't blog to bash, I blog to help and offer a different perspective from a man who has been thru some s*** in his life. What we as men need to know and thoroughly realize, is that as we get older, we need to DO better. The ways of when we we're younger, shouldn't be continued in our mid 20s and older. One of the things I love about my circle of male friends is that, we hold each other accountable for our words and actions. What that means is: if someone is f***in up in the group, you better believe it'll be brought to your attention. Nobody is going to make a subliminal diss song, no talking behind each other's back, no silent treatment, none of that; straight up and down man to man convo. In blackand white: if you have an issue, you bring it to THAT person; not his mama, sister, brother, uncle, GF (BF if he swings that way), aunt, grandmama, Twitter. Instagram, FB, his dentist, doctor...you get the point. Now that same mindset, this should be applied to friendships that transition into relationships and relationships that transition into marriages between male & females but...that'll be discussed in my book coming out next year.

Fellas...stop the gossiping, pillow talking, dry snitching, cockblockin, subliminal messages:

It's gotten to the point where men call other men up or text or whatever and have full blown discussions about what OTHER men are doing: WTF!? Unless you on some, "we bout to move out on these n****s," type sh*t, talking about another man should never and I mean never be discussed in such a hateful/disrespect manner (unless y'all got beef). Another bad habit some of you dudes got, is that you suffer from "faucet mouth":

"Nah, the f*** wit him, he no good for you! You still f***in with J from your job? You know he f***in Michelle right?"
or
"Yea, I know Robbie: he the dude who got the baby mother who live in New Jersey, that he f*** every other week when he not f***in you. He corny! How you drop outta school and start credit card scamming?! Oh...you ain't know that? Yea, he lame."

...once your mouth gets turned on, you keep goin and goin and goin and goin. That's dry snitchin and where I'm from, dry snitchin isn't something grown men take lightly. After sex, don't lay around and talk her head off about why she shouldn't give another dude a chance you don't even know ESPECIALLY when she put up with your wack sex ass; get some juice, stretch, and prepare for round 2! Also, stop with the cockblockin! If you can't get p**** in a Earth this big, you worthless kid, and you don't deserve to live (joking, but not really).

Fellas...know when to displace your feelings and emotions:

Instagram, Twitter, FB are NOT your damn diaries! Being too sensitive is a sign of weakness. I'm not saying you can't express how you feel, but there's a time and a place for all of that and on social networks...it's not the place nor the time (in my opinion). You think women are looking at what you post like, "awww, he's so sweet, bendito"? No! They're looking at you like, "if this dude don't man up with his b**** ass!" No woman wants to be with a man who is more feminine than she is, period point blank. You get on Instagram and post some sh*t about how "all women aint sh*t but hoes," nahhh cat daddy, all YOUR women ain't sh*t but hoes! What you don't see by doing that is- women who begin to come to the conclusion like, "damn, why he so sensitive? All because I didn't answer his comment back or give him my number?" That right there, is something that's discussed every & any where, with all her friends, and if you think she's not screenshottin ya sh*t and talking about it with her homegirls...hahaha, wooo!

Fellas...stop with hate:

Listen and listen good: there's a difference between being hated on and being disliked. Being hated on...well, if you're familiar with the movie Belly, the part where Nas & DMX are riding thru the neighborhood and ol' boy is eating a banana and says, "Might have to drop a dime on them n****s...I don't like that sh*t...I don't like that sh*t." THAT, that's hate! Being disliked is when I actually know yo monkey ass and you've done sh*t to make me wanna put you in a headlock and toss you head first in a kiddie pool filled with crabs and roaches. You will never see a dude who is educated, hate on another man, why? Because he's too focused on progressing. What you WILL see, is a dude who ain't about sh*t, because he ain't amount to shit, so, he's mad at the fact that you're successful. "He think he fly cause he got them Js on...everybody got them Js!" (but he don't got them) or "that n**** ain't ballin like Meek Mill or Fabolous tho...that's why he pushin that 03 Benz still!" (he taking the bus and train with me every damn day). How you mad at the next man for creating and taking opportunities to better himself tho? And speaking of bettering...

Fellas...stop with the "crab in the bucket" sh*t:

Now if you're unfamiliar with what that means, allow me to explain: if you put some crabs in a bucket, you never have to worry about any escaping because if one looks like he's going to climb out...the others will grab its leg and pull his lil ambitious ass back in! I personally hate the fact that as a man, another man can't be successful without another man trying to pull that man down in some form or fashion. This applies for any race, color, creed, and religion too. I'm not saying you have to be "happy go lucky" for the next man, but there's already added outside pressure on him from other races and women on TOP of the hate you dishin out!

"So if I hang with dudes who ain't about nothin, I ain't nothin too?" - student in the back, far left

In a sense, yes. If you surround yourself with individuals who aren't about progression, you will succumb to that, guaranteed! Dudes have this bad habit of hatin on their own friends instead of celebrating their success and get mad when that friend begins to move away from him. All hate is: someone who admires whatever is that you do (what you're about) and can't duplicate that for themselves. There's this song by Common - "Black, Maybe" listen to it.

Fellas...stop purposely fucking up in relationships:

I will admit: I am part to blame for why I am not in a relationship today. It takes a man to admit his wrong doings and own up to them and seek forgiveness...but straight up and down: you're a bitch if you sabotage your relationship and then put all the blame on your woman like you ain't have a hand in why ya'll ended. You can't expect her to stay faithful, if you're cheating. You can't expect her to stay quite, when all you do is yell. You can't expect her to stay, if you're verbally and/or physically abusive. I was raised without a mother, so at times, I say my pops do some wrong shit and guess what? I grew up to do the same sh*t! We learn from our father's actions and words or the lack thereof. We learn indirectly or directly on how a woman is suppose to be treated. Yes, a woman can raise a man but...it takes a man to show a boy HOW a man is suppose to conduct himself. If you as a man get into a relationship and you know you're gonna want more than one chick to sleep with, stay single. If you know you're not ready to commit, let her know that, don't string her along. The problem isn't that she's crazy (although some of y'all are)...it's us as men doing sh*t to drive her crazy and get mad when she flips the f*** out! All women aren't the same; Cynthia isn't a loud mouth and a bitter b**** like Brandy is and Brandy isn't insecure and heartless, like Cynthia. The more you hurt her, the more conditioned she becomes in believing that men ain't s*** and that Shakira looks more and more attractive each day. You might not wanna hear this fellas but: how you gon look your daughter in the eyes when lil Leo hurt her heart the same way you did her mother... something to consider. Relationships can not and will never be able to stand the test of times, if the foundation is built on lies. I know gettin sex is cool and all but at what point do we look in ourselves and say, "you know what, I think I wanna settle down with Brandy, and build with her!"?

Fellas...we need to do B-E-T-T-E-R!

Dr. MLK Jr. had a dream...y'all dumb-d***heads turned it into a damn nightmare! I'm saying this to challenge you to do better, hell, to want better! F***in them same girls/women/bitches who ain't about sh*t will grow tired and then what? "Ima go stay with moms and stack money?!" Nahhh, because moms enjoys walking around the house, ass naked, watching Golden Girls, while ya pops massages her down in lotion...or, my lil ass will be over there watching bootleg movies, eating up all the chips n' dip! The reality is that as we get older, women look to younger dudes who have promise and potential, not dudes around her age who still lookin to have sex with her and her best friend or who haven't figured out what it is that they want to make of themselves. I'm 26, and I've figured out that at the end of the day, when it's all said and done; ima want someone to watch Golden Girls with and eat apple pie. The problem with us men is that there isn't enough male accountability. Holding each other accountable for our actions, needs to happen more. I'm not saying tattle-tale on your homie, I'm saying bring the man to the side or have an intervention with him because what you don't want is

...your homie eating all your food, drinkin up all the juice, not flushing the toilet, leaving dishes in yo sink, asking you for money, while living on your couch.

Education is key fellas and not just book knowledge: knowledge of self. Be the kind of man that you would want your daughter to date and marry. Blame Kendrick Lamar for this! This was long overdue fellas and real sh*t, I'm here as a man telling...there's more to life than Jordans, side chicks, drugs, and all that crazy stuff. I still have ways to go but, at least I'm on the road...are you? Let's build our kingdoms and become KINGS...leave that peasant life alone.

@renaissance_brotha_