Fumbles & Interceptions

Before I start, just a few things:

• chivalry has been around for, idk, forever! So with that being said: a guy (because this seems to be an issue [some] women have with [some] men) texting you "good morning" is NOT chivalry; it's just a kind gesture.
• communication is a two way street: not a one way or a dead end; #ThinkAboutIt
•keep your relationship problems/issues off of social networking sites...we don't care about'em! If its a cry for attention you want...hit up the person you're in the relationship with! The moment you post "x y z" someone is gonna chime in with "a b c" and you gonna be a-n-g-r-y.
•if you're near 30 or in your 30s...stop acting like you're in your early 20s/mid 20s; men and women. All the stubbornness, sense of entitlement, faking interest, so on and so forth will only get you put on that "Summer Jam" screen f****ng around, period.

*class is in session*

Let me tell you right now that this blog will focus on the mistakes we as men make in relationships; nothing more nothing less. I as a man have made tons of mistakes which is why my ex is my ex but I have learned from those mistakes and I would like to believe I am a better man for it.

To say that women are to blame for ALL relationship issues, is absurd. To say that there WON'T be bumps along the way, is ridiculous. To say that they have this virtual market where you can buy hair, clothes, diet supplements, weed, henny coladas, food, and damn near a spouse and we call this place Instagram...is down right ludicrous!

But I digress

We as men get too comfortable early in the relationship and forget that consistency is key. We forget that: whatever we did to win you over, should be done to keep you there as well. If we get you to let your guard down, we're content and that...is where we f*** up! So without further ado, here are some relationship mistakes us as guys make...

Ok...So Now What:
We meet the girl, get to know her, date, get to know her some more, date more, f***, date even more, f*** some more, get into a relationship, send flowers randomly,do a bunch of romantic sh*t, listen to her complain about how much she hates working at Victoria Secret on weekends, we cuddle up and watch Bad Girls Club when we'd rather watch a blind person change a baby's diaper in a snow storm, I mean, we do all this stuff and then...we fall flat. We're caring, affectionate, honest, and open in the beginning, thinking that because we've, "won her heart" if you will, we can kick our feet up; negative.

Fellas, the worst thing you can do is slack off. She kept you at a distance to get a better understanding of you, you won her over, now you're the one being distant and you're mad because she's starting to grow distant? Bruh! Once you push her to that point of no return, it'll be late night R&B mixed with crying, wishing you can get that ol thang back! The same attention you gave her in the beginning, keep that consistent throughout the relationship.

I Can See Myself With You, Like...Forever:
On one side of the coin: you'll get the guy who is afraid of commitment and on the other side of that coin: you'll get the guy who will let you know, "I can see me spending my life with you," only after knowing you a few months! "Yea, I can see you being my queen! We'd make some good lookin babies. Plus, moms is talkin about grandkids.

Wait a min, wait a min - Kevin Hart voice.

For some females, that's enough to change the number, change the Twitter name, deactivate the FB, and start a whole new Instagram! Fellas, take it eaassy! Forever tho? Forever is a mighty long time to spend with a person you've only known for 2 months, 2 weeks, and 4 days. Pump ya brakes. Let time take its course and if it's meant to be, it will be.

Another Again/..That's It?:
First few months we're like ANIMALS! You can't keep us from jumping on top you any opportunity we get,

In the mirror while you're doing your hair/in the shower while you're applying Nair/by the cabinets where the dishes go/in back row of the movie theaters, on the low

After some months pass, females are left asking, "is that it...?". Some dudes get into relationships and think minimal sex is cool and don't realize and what happens is that, weeks go by, and we haven't even considered to have sex because subconsciously, them weeks really feel like only a few days. Contrary to popular belief, sex is a major deal in most relationships (I stand by that last sentence). Now on the flip side of that you have dudes that want it too much (yes, I said too much). For some females who work, go to school, have to come home cook and clean...sex can be the last thing on her mind. I know you read that but seriously, think about that for a minute or two. It's not that she doesn't want sex, it's just, she doesn't want it all the time and what happens is that because we as men don't understand, we take that as, "oh this b**** wanna act up and not f***? Cool, let me go f*** wit a side jawn!"

Bruh!

Learn to compromise! period, point, blank!

Attention Deficit:

One of the things I know to be certain is that when you pay lil attention to your partner...your partner will give her attention elsewhere. It's like we're there physically but mentally, we've checked out. I'm not saying, quit your job, diss ya homeboys, or spend less time with your family just to be all up, under her now, but ignoring her? Will be the quickest way to have every Big Sean, Justin Timberlake, Rick Ross, Trey Songz, Lil' Mama in the face, look-a-like at her door wanting to "do it for the Vine" inside her...and trust me...she will let 'em do it.  The sad thing about it is, she'll actually consider entertaining them because you have now created what I like to call, "The Attention Void". Don't let it get to a point where you begin to lose sight of who she is and the reasons you're with her. Either you find that necessary balance that all relationships need or find yourself arguing with some dude that looks like her celebrity man crush.

I'll takeee, "backbone" for 500 Alex:
Dude + no backbone = a "welcome home" mat. Your woman will treat you like a welcome mat when you become too relaxed in your relationship. F*** all that submission sh*t...BE A MAN! These women want m-e-n, not a damn dog! Yet sadly, some men believe that the only way they can keep a woman around is by doubling as her pet, and agreeing with everything that she says. Big damn mistake buddy...big mistake! She'll start to feel this sort of, "entitlement", to make you do whatever, feel whatever, act however, wherever, when you don't stand up for yourself and you become a "yes man":

"Yes dear, I'll cut my hair even though I cut it last week."
"Yes babe, we can have sex, even tho my leg hurts from getting dunked on by Terry at the gym."
"Yea babe, your mother can come visit, even tho when she brings that damn dog that likes to piss all over the couch."

The ladies from my job always tell me, "Ant-nee (Anthony w/ a Jamaican dialect), we want a big, strong man, not a lickkle dog.". Case and point: ladies want a man who will stand firm beside them and not quiver underneath them...

Treadmillship:
Treadmill + relationship = treadmillship. How many of you have been or are currently in, a relationship that feel similar to a treadmill? Time sees to go by and by but certain things seem to remain the same. (some) Females hate that stagnant feeling in regards to relationships, which is why ultimatums come up when things get to a standstill:

"Either, (hands clap) you (hands clap) get (hands clap) ya sh*t together or (hands clap) I'm (hands clap) though (hands clap, hands clap) through!"

or
"Listen, we've been dating for 5 years now and the convo of engagement hasn't even come up yet...what do you want me to do? Because I can and I won't wait forever you know..."

I mean, the last one is a lil' over exaggerated, but, you get the point.

The biggest mistake we can make as guys is thinking that every thing is mashed potatoes and gravy, with the relationship stuck with no direction.

Here's the thing...

I feel we as guys need to communicate better because with that, we open up more doors for opportunities to grow together, or, grow apart. Mistakes will happen, I mean, sh*t, what relationship won't encounter some stumbles along the way? The goal is to push forward! Make sure you have a direction in which you want the two of you to go in. Have an understanding of self because as a man...if you don't have an understanding of self, there's no way you will be mentally ready to be the nigga/man/king whatever, for any female out here. Realize your mistakes, compromise, be HONEST not only with her but with yourself because if you're not honest with who you are...you think she'll take you seriously?

Nah, the answer to that is nah. Don't let the best thing slip away...because you wanna be a di**, trust me, I know.

@Renaissance_Brotha_