Seriously,
Height
Only
Reminds
The
Intellectual
&
Educated
*of*
Shallowness
Height
Only
Reminds
The
Intellectual
&
Educated
*of*
Shallowness
Ok, so I added an "o"...sue me but how great is that acronym! But before you start getting all defensive, know this:
1) I'm like 5'6...ish
2) if you don't believe me, take ya ass to Home Depot or Lowes (you know, the place where you can buy the Mimi shower rods at), find the aisle where the measuring tapes are, come measure me (no pun intended), and get an answer, to your question.
3) cool your jets because you're about to read some real sh*t!
I digress,
*class is in session*
Peep the scenario:
Rita and Candice are best friends. Candice, has a man, whom she loves and has been with for over 3 yrs. Rita on the other hand: runs thru men like newborn babies do diapers! Rita, tired of dealing with “dudes who aint bout sh**,” often calls Candice to vent about the shortage of good men. Candice, frustrated, decides to tell Rita about Jon: a co-worker she often talks to during her lunch break.
Jon: a recent college school grad with a M.A. in Dental Sciences, outgoing, personable, under 700 followers on Instagram, has often been called, “the light skin Morris Chestnut,” cooks a mean mac & cheese with some garlic mashed potatoes, and fried chicken, has his own place, pays his own rent/bills, loves reality tv on his down time, and single...gets set up on a blind date with Rita.
Candice, having talked to Rita before she goes out on her date, forgot to disclose one thing
…his height.
Rita, standing tall at 5’1" (5’6" in heels) swore to NEVER date a man under 6 foot! When Rita finds out that Jon is 5’8", she is no longer interested. Candice, mad as all hell, decides to hook Rita up with Maggie: aspiring model/IHOP waitress, which results in a “happy ending".
This scenario may sound crazy but trust me, it's real! How many times have you heard,
“Oh damn, he got it going on like that?!
Wait, what you say girl...he’s what?!?!
How tall!?!?"
*dial tone*
Wait, what you say girl...he’s what?!?!
How tall!?!?"
*dial tone*
I feel a lot women have irrational, illogical, and idiotic height preferences these days, especially the ones that are short as sh**! The average height for a man is 5’9 BUT for some odd reason, to ladies, that’s still considered short! Short dudes (myself included) who are shorter than the average, get thrown waaay under the proverbial short yellow bus more times than none. The fact that a woman can say in one instance, “I’m not dating him because he looks like he could be my lil brother,” and then turn around say, “I rather date a dude who hustles & keeps me on his IG," to me, that is utterly f****** absurd!
Now I know you're laughing but this way of thinking is also associated with:
•If I’m 6'5" and a jerk to people: then I’m just a jerk.
•If I’m 5'5" and I’m a jerk to people: then I have Napoleon Complex.
•If I’m 6'5" driving a truck: then that's ok.
•If I’m 5'5" driving a truck: then I’m overcompensating.
Exactly...what the F***! |
The women who are fully self-aware, still take part in this tom-f***ery, saying things like, "girl I know I’m wrong, but how’s it gonna look when I bring my midget man to the family BBQ and they get him confused for one of my students?". Yup, I know you're laughing, but just imagine if the tables were turned and we as men went around saying, “man, I know I’m wrong for saying this, but aint it gonna look weird when I bring that big b**** to the family BBQ and she eats all the damn food? Now my auntie lookin at me like I did sumthin wrong!”
Shallow, s***!
The same females that indict men on charges for being too picky/superficial, are the same ones that attend mass services at Holy Double Standard I’ll Pass on The Short Men Community Baptist Church, are shallow-super duper-ficial ass females that need to plank off the Empire State building. Do I honestly care that a female isn’t going pick me over a tall dude like fat kids, Asians, and nerds are picked last for dodge ball? Yes, just a little! But I care because I'm quite sure (outside of my height) ima qualified candidate to be some woman's future baby daddy/side piece/MCM (man crush monday)/King/BF/husband or whatever.
What makes the situation even funnier is that some women will get all Bill Nye The Science Guy and say sh*t like, "a tall man? Honey I needs one! I need to feel like safe, secure, like I'm in a Snuggie when I'm in his arms...not a hand towel (making reference to being with a short man)." Average height for a woman is 5’4...5-flippin-4! Now, for those who wear heels, hell, kudos to you, I love me a woman in some heels; nothing is sexier! But when you're not in heels and yo ass is short, I mean to the point where I can rest my chin on yo forehead, you have no damn right to call me nor any other dude that's taller than you, short. I understand the importance of physical attraction, and I’m sure those who are reading this will remind me of that as well but unless you're already tall (5'8" and up) you can't be out here being picky when your dad stayed with your mama and her ass was wearing weave since Jim Crow days and he STILL ain't see her natural hair!
Your preference is taller men, why? Because you're afraid of what your friends are gonna say about you when they see you out and about with a man who is either slightly shorter or your height? You wanna feel secure? Oh, you WANT a man that's tall? How about HAVING a man that will "stand tall" in the face of adversity! Spare me with the heels sh** because no secure man will even think twice and say some sh** like, "heels? I mean, you sure you wanna be that much taller than me babe, I mean, we only going to Red Lobster!" Noooooo, a real man isn't gonna care! Unless you're tall already, that height preference makes you shallow - there, I said it. I understand your preference is that of your own, but if you not that tall, yo ass don't need to be that choosy. You're attracted to men with some height, I get it. You wanna be able to look up at him, I get it. A guys preference for titts and ass is just that...titts and ass, not, "oh babe, make sure those titties don't pop out while you're drinking your daiquiri!"
Who gives a f*** about yo preference! (French Montana voice)
If you're dating a man who cares about height...don't waste your time, energy, nor attention because 8/10, he's gonna bring that sh*t up continuously. Now I like tall chicks, I would date one in a heartbeat, just like I would date a short one because the only few things that matter to me is: how great her personality is, is she educated, will she compliment me, and will she let me eat her p****, the way Niko did Mimi! So you damn right I’m mad when I get rejected by tall ass Lisa Leslie with the 38D breast, Buffie booty, pretty feet, and smile that out shine the sun. I also get mad when ol’ brown skin Kelly Rowland with the curly natural hair and the booty that look like two apples in her jeans tell me, “na chocolate…I’ll pass!” when we're virtually the same F***ING HEIGHT! You're wiling to pass up a good man because you can't look up at him and eye fu** him? Please, get ya life! Don't say, "oh, you're saying that because you're short," no, I'm saying that because height (unless you're already tall) doesn't matter. You know how many times I've been curved by taller women because they didn't feel secure (yup, I'm pretty sure a few of you are reading this and will hit me up and ask)? Many! If I don't care about my height, why should you?
-signed, every short man in America!
I'm completely understanding of preference but if you're not tall...why be so picky? Do women not admire confidence in a man?
Lemme hear what you gotta say
@renaissance_brotha_
I'm 5'6...5'7 if I stand up straight. ...I live in heels. So I'm easily 6 feet when fully dressed. I can't say that I have ever rejected someone for height. I've been on a date or 2 and the person asked me to please not wear such a high shoe next time and they were super self conscious during the entire date. So yea you are right...waste of time (I've never even considered myself tall, considering I'm the midget of my family )
ReplyDeleteI am tall (5' 10") and my soon to be husband is my height, maybe even an inch shorter than me if I stand up straight. He loves it when I wear heels too. He calls me his glamazon, which is a title I used to hate because those women are so tall it seems masculine. Every woman has been taught the guy should be taller to make you feel more feminine, dainty, etc. Where would I be today had I stuck to that? Not getting married to the man of my dreams..... nuff said.
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