I haven't taken a break from blogging...I've just been getting a lot of tings together is all.. This tho comes from a reader/supporter who needed advice and I posted the email simply because I feel a lot of people have questioned a lot of what I do, sooo...here you go.
*class is in session*
This will be simple and straight to the point because I don't want to bore anyone and because...
I got something bigger coming! (insert the eyes emoji)
For all the single ladies who somewhat struggle with dating and things of that sort, this for you. If you're in a relationship, hell, this can be for you as well. Either way, I hope this helps.
**********
From my perspective and just, I don't know, general thoughts on single women, I feel you must work on yourself, FOR yourself before you even consider dating. What that means is:
Making sure you know what you want in a guy and what you don't want aka what you won't allow.
I've seen a lot of women/girls just date date date and with no purpose at alllll and then get mad at the guy on some, "I let you have my time...and YOU wasted my time!" and the whole time she herself ignored all the signs and said f*** it, let me see what it's hittin for anyway because he makes me laugh and he looks good...
Sh** like that you can't do!
You also have to be honest with yourself because if you aren't, a guy will sense that and manipulate you how he sees fit! Being honest with who you are is the best thing to do because then you can be completely honestly with what you allow; what you allow says a lot about who you are as a person.
Getting to know your likes and dislikes early on are key for self development and self awareness. You also want to make sure you're actually going out with your girls or even by yourself (as corny as that sounds) and you're talking to guys. Talking/flirting is good, because it allows convo to happen and when convo happens, you get a good sense of what kind of men you attract (Law of Attraction). Basically, whatever energy you put out into the dating world, you will get back. But you can't put half positive/half unsure vibes into the air becauseeee...you'll get a lot of in-between, not only with guys but what you should allow and don't allow.
Dating is good, because it allows you to build with guys and form a friendship rather than just jumping outta the "window" and start dating and you hardly know the guy. Don't do the friends with benefits thing even if you KNOW yourself to not get caught up because it could be that one time it happens...and then what? Or, he might catch feelings and all you wanted was some penis and somebody to watch Walking Dead with, you know. If you're dating, I would also stay away from sex as well, unless it's someone you can see yourself taking it to the next level with because feelings and emotions willlll get attached.
Now as far as places to meet guys...hmmm...I would say...anywhere honestly. There's no one spot were there will be great guys and not so great guys at lol. Like, just get out. It's the summer, the weather is good, lots of free events to do and lots of things to do in general (depending on we're you live). If you honestly want to meet someone, you will, that's all dependent on you and your comfort level because the worse thing they can say is no. If you see a guy looking at you and he hasn't made a move...walk over there and spark a convo. Many times what happens is, women will feel like, "I'm not gonna talk to him, even if we do spend the whole night eye fucking each other! He better be a man and come talk to me!"
Kill yourself!
If you like what you see, talk to him; simple. Stop allowing social media to dictate how you interact with a guy because you will be single and your vagina will decompose (generally speaking). Don't allow your single female friends get in your ear either...most times they've been single for a long damn time or they can't keep a relationship nor can they keep a guy's attention long enough to know what her last name is.
The reality tho:
Making sure you know what you want in a guy and what you don't want aka what you won't allow.
I've seen a lot of women/girls just date date date and with no purpose at alllll and then get mad at the guy on some, "I let you have my time...and YOU wasted my time!" and the whole time she herself ignored all the signs and said f*** it, let me see what it's hittin for anyway because he makes me laugh and he looks good...
Sh** like that you can't do!
You also have to be honest with yourself because if you aren't, a guy will sense that and manipulate you how he sees fit! Being honest with who you are is the best thing to do because then you can be completely honestly with what you allow; what you allow says a lot about who you are as a person.
Getting to know your likes and dislikes early on are key for self development and self awareness. You also want to make sure you're actually going out with your girls or even by yourself (as corny as that sounds) and you're talking to guys. Talking/flirting is good, because it allows convo to happen and when convo happens, you get a good sense of what kind of men you attract (Law of Attraction). Basically, whatever energy you put out into the dating world, you will get back. But you can't put half positive/half unsure vibes into the air becauseeee...you'll get a lot of in-between, not only with guys but what you should allow and don't allow.
Dating is good, because it allows you to build with guys and form a friendship rather than just jumping outta the "window" and start dating and you hardly know the guy. Don't do the friends with benefits thing even if you KNOW yourself to not get caught up because it could be that one time it happens...and then what? Or, he might catch feelings and all you wanted was some penis and somebody to watch Walking Dead with, you know. If you're dating, I would also stay away from sex as well, unless it's someone you can see yourself taking it to the next level with because feelings and emotions willlll get attached.
Now as far as places to meet guys...hmmm...I would say...anywhere honestly. There's no one spot were there will be great guys and not so great guys at lol. Like, just get out. It's the summer, the weather is good, lots of free events to do and lots of things to do in general (depending on we're you live). If you honestly want to meet someone, you will, that's all dependent on you and your comfort level because the worse thing they can say is no. If you see a guy looking at you and he hasn't made a move...walk over there and spark a convo. Many times what happens is, women will feel like, "I'm not gonna talk to him, even if we do spend the whole night eye fucking each other! He better be a man and come talk to me!"
Kill yourself!
If you like what you see, talk to him; simple. Stop allowing social media to dictate how you interact with a guy because you will be single and your vagina will decompose (generally speaking). Don't allow your single female friends get in your ear either...most times they've been single for a long damn time or they can't keep a relationship nor can they keep a guy's attention long enough to know what her last name is.
The reality tho:
dating is simple...it's our expectations that complicate things.
If you want to know what a man is thinking- hit him up. Yes, I'm fully aware guys aren't the most vocal, but, if you notice that (and I'm speaking to the single ladies) then you give that ish a window period (a time frame where you feel enough is enough) and you let his ass go.
You cant allow guys to get away with elementary bull and then play victim,
If you allow a guy to blow yellow lights...he will eventually speed his ass thru reds and not give two f***s. All this means is, you aren't allowing a guy to waste your: time, energy, and attention (TEA) when there is a guy who will gladly spend it well.
All in all...date! I'm not sure of your age or anything or anything more than what you've explained but I say, date around, keep your options open. Dating should be like a buffet: you try a lil of this and a lil of that and you leave what you don't like on your plate and if you like what you had, you go back for more.
If you have anymore questions, please feel free to hit me up any damn time and I promise you I will hit you back a lot quicker! If you need anything I said further explained, please let me know, I gladly will. But more importantly...thank you for taking the time out to reach out annddd reading the blogs because when I tell you I appreciate it...
I truly do :)
@renaissance_brotha_
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