Back-SEAT, Windows UP pt. 2

*class is in session*

"I'll take the lobster mac n cheese to go and...the head for dessert":

...because there's something sexy about watching a woman eat certain types foods or maybe that's just the freak in me. You ever been out on a date and all to can think about is, "damn...what if I cleared this table RIGHT now and gave her the b

usiness?" or "damn...what if i dropped my fork RIGHT now and went under the table and gave that d*** the business?"

Ok, so maybe you never thought to do that but I'm almost certain the thought to, I don't know...sneak off to the bathroom for a quickie has crossed your mind maybe once or twice? Something like this can only truly be done when on a double date or with just a lot more people than the two of you. It's summer, weather is good, you put on a dress and lets say you decide to not wear panties; you're already ahead of the game! Fellas, slide off to the bathroom, text her, "coast is clear, come get the part of the tip the waitress can't!"

And if you're gonna skip out on the check...have sex before, not after.

tombstone lovin:
The following might be a lil disrespectful and all I'll say is I apologize but...

If you're horny, crazy, and adventurous like myself...you will sneak away to a cemetery and have sex around a bunch of dead folks. Don't hit me with the, "omg, you are insane...I would never..." because a lot of you who've had sex, done sucked and f***ed in some places the law wouldn't allow or Jesus probably raised his eyebrow to! They're dead, you ain't, so, live ya life (ay ay ay)/don't concentrate on the tombstones, just squeeze'em tight.

Ok, so I'm corny and slightly joking but if you want a real rush: hit the cemetery for your next orgasm.

goalpost d*** down:
In every town there's a high school that has a football field or just a big ass field with grass, that is usually used to play some sport on, which could also be used to have sex on! In high school (or college), many of us had some form of sex behind a stairway, old classroom, library, locker room, I mean, that list goes on, but not many have had the pleasure of getting some ass...ON...the grass! Throw caution to the wind and take a trip to a local high school and just, go for it! Have sex in the middle of the field, have sex against the goalpost, have sex in the stands, why don't ya! Sex will always be fun in places that were off limits as a teen and the field is one of them.

"I'm sorry ladies and gentleman, I don't mean to bother ya'll...":

If you're from New York...you've heard that before on a train...

If you're from New York or maybe you've been here to visit, then you know of our hectic ass subway system. Here, we have plenty of trains that can take you were you wanna go, that run at all hours of the morning and night. If you are looking for a good rush for the summer; train sex is a great adventure! Always go for a cart that is either in the front or all the way in the back. Never and I mean never not keep your eyes peeled open for homeless folks, crazy ass teenagers, folks who are either coming from work or going to work or going home or coming from home, and more importantly, the cops! This would be the time for a quickie or hell, even a lil oral action! Hold on to that pole ladies as he subway surfs inside of you! Hold your lady up fellas, as she dangles from the bar like she's Mimi...but better looking! If all of this doesn't interest you...just let her ride, as you ride...save the missionary for...

"after hours project" - Dr. Evil voice:
THE COPY MACHINE!

See what I did there? I digress...

Work place sex is always good because if you have that one co worker that you hate, you can always have sex right there on their desk and let them sit in your ass juices the next morning. Boss says you need to finish up on a project? Great! Work on the project, while she works on that d*** under your desk! Boss gives you the green light to catch up on some work because you were on vacation last week? Awesome! Give her head on the copy machine and make her call you by your last name as you stroke her in the kitchen area! The supply closet, the utility closet, the janitor's closet, hell, your boss (or company) doesn't have cameras all over the place...have sex in the boss office! Could you imagine being deep inside of her and your boss comes off the elevator and she's screaming your name...bruh!

"stuck" in the elevator:
You're on vacation...elevator sex on the last night! Forgetabout the cameras that will be watching; give'em a show! You go down on him...he goes down on you..foot on his shoulder...rubbin his face all in it...lookin down at him...back up at the camera...back down at him...bite your lip a lil...bend her over...grip her by the waist...fu** it, moan if it's good (women love that sh*t)...just make sure...you not in the p**** making love bruh. You know how sexy it is to finish up and how funny is to be walking off the elevator and someone is coming on and the whole damn thing smells like sex...bruh!

parents trap':

I'm totally for having sex in the parents bedroom, why? Because 9/10 the parents aren't doing Ray J and Kim K sh** in there to begin with! I'm putting the pillow that pops put his head on every night right under her lower back, so I can have that p**** in the air just so I can taste it better and...hit that g-spot a lil better. Ride me till you cum and do it again on the side of the bed that your mom sleeps on. Grip them sheets as I enter you from the back and slap ya ass so hard that it echoes throughout the room. As kids, we slept in our parents bed and got mad when they kicked us out but what mommy don't know, won't hurt her. F*** it, film that sh**! What do you have to lose by filming it? Not (claps hands) a (claps hands) thinggg (claps hands, claps hands)! I'm not saying do this with a dude you've just met, hell, not even your partner of 1 year, but whatever you do...make sure you make that person do some ish that they wouldn't want anybody in the world to see.

Like eating that ass like a waffle cone from Mr. Softee.

Pleaseeee, be mindful of your height and weight restriction before you consider sex in any damn place! Use condoms! I didn't mention a place like the plane because I have a phobia of heights and my ass ain't never seen a plane, let alone been on one! If you're adventurous, try hitting a fair or amusement part and have sex somewhere around there. Wherever you decide to get freaky...keep them eyes and ears open because getting caught eating pu*** in Central Park after work...never mind.

@Renaissance_Brotha_