You Shouldn't Aspire To Be Just...

*names have been changed to protect the innocent*

Friend: don't you HATE when a b**** brag about a n**** that ain't hers?"

Me: yea, but, that's the way of the world I guess

Friend: ugh, I hate that you're so nonchalant Anthony...but this bi*** Kira is sleeping with ol boy.

Me: Hamilton?

Friend: ...

Friend: how did you know that?

Me: she told me

Friend: and you're not mad? What happened if some f***ed your GF?! All that writing you do, you should do a blog on bi*** who ain't s*** and who f*** other girl's men

I know one day I will have a daughter and I will have to explain to her that having a BF is hard work and you should never advise him to "choke and stroke" you during sex because that will only lead to him potentially choking you in real life! I say that to say this: I hope my daughter(s) never aspire to be on reality TV, dating a rapper, who can only read at a 4th grade level and who gets so high, that he can barely park his spaceship (I'm pretty sure I'll have a child by the time those are invented). So, to my future wife (if you're reading this) this piece is for you!

I pray to lil baby Jesus that my daughter never has to go thru what I see so many women go thru today! So, here's on my piece on "labels" or "titles" a woman should NEVER want to aspire to be in life...

*class is in session*

A "baby mama":

Sometimes, things don't work out between you and the father of your child(ren) and for that...I understand. I won't sit here and judge, criticize, talk down on, nor will I ridicule any woman who is currently going thru that type of relationship/situation, but, the REST of you?! Nah! [some] Of y'all ladies are content with being JUST a baby mama to a man who won't commit to anything MORE than eating your vagina when you're angry and picking you up from the gym so that creepy guy won't hit on you anymore. He says,

"I like what we have babe...you got my child, so I ain't going nowhere, (insert forehead kiss) I love you!"

But you know, like I know, like we all know...he full of it!

The fear of being a single mother is a very daunting one, I get it, but I don't get why so many women allow a man to just give them children and not a ring! If all you're getting is pregnant on top of spoon fed bullsh*t on top of excuses on WHY he won't make you a mother AND wife, well, what does that say about you and, what do you then tell your child(ren)? There are too many baby mommas and not enough wives and I'm not saying pressure him because he'll either A) leave B) cheat C) keep giving you the run around. What I am SAYING is: want (hand clap) more (hand clap) for (hand clap) yourself (hand clap, hand clap).

A "career GF":

"Our kids would look so good together...I always wanted a house out in the suburbs...where you wanna have wedding at (insert crazy laugh)...I'm just joking...where's this waitress at?!"

If a chick is talking about weddings and babies and y'all JUST started dating; run! [some] Women are content with being a girlfriend who has all these plans for the future...with a guy she's JUST met! You hardly know his whole damn name and already looking to settle down; relax, he ain't going nowhere. If she says, "men usually don't know what they want and that's why I'm single," and then turns around and says, "...I was thinking long term...and they weren't," and THEN, goes on to say, "but I can see myself being with you tho...forever," and y'all have only been dating for about a month? Exit stage left! The goal is to build and get to know the guy not speak on what hasn't been built with someone you hardly know...where's the logic in that! You see yourself as being a wife...one day, but you're scaring men off to the idea of actually being your man!

A "some day" GF:

If you ask your man, "when are you gonna wife me up," or whoever you contextualize it and he responds like...

hell if I know

or he'll say, "I like what we have (kiss) I just don't, wanna mess things up with a title and then we start arguing..."

7/10 he doesn't see a future with you. Before you gave him the pus** he said, "let's not rush things and see where we end up," and then you gave him the kitty and now he's dancing around your questions better than Justin Timberlake when he was in Backstreet Boys *NSYNC! Lil orphan Annie thought the sun would come out tomorrow, hell, she was hanging on to the fact that the sun was gonna bring it's ol' bright ass out and guess what...we still don't know if it did or didn't. See, Annie had hope, but she wasn't getting di** from Christopher with the green eyes and milk chocolate skin; you are! And no matter how much he dances around the question and into your vagina, the more you allow him or any other man to do the same...you'll forever be a "some day" kinda woman. 

A "side piece":

I laugh at women...

(and apologies to those who this might offend)

I laugh at women who pride themselves in, idk, thinking it's some sort of accomplishment by fu**ing another woman's man like karma doesn't exist. How could you ever fix your lips to ask a man to take you serious, when you take pride in laying down with another's woman's man?! How can you pray to God/Allah/King James or whomever you pray to, to send you a man, when you're not fit, to be a man's one and only option?! Sure, he's content with sexing you down, why? Because after he's done fu**ing you, he goes home, and more than likely tosses his penis into his GF/wife's mouth and they go to bed happy. You on the other hand go to bed lonely as f*** watching old episodes of Law & Order, scrolling thru Instagram, tappin twice n'sh*t! Your ego is the only thing that wins here! You say, "girl, I don't about his bi*** because CLEARLY he don't, so why should I?! He's f**king me AND her and tells me he loves me...I ain't worried bout nothing!" and then you wonder why you can't keep a man! You seen what happened to Sanaa Lathan in that Tyler Perry movie "The Family That Preys," when she thought that the husband was gonna leave the wife for her ass...yea, exactly; ain't happenin captain!

A"booty call":

He calls you and because the d*** is good or because you're lonely or because the dude you're currently talking to is playing more games than an arcade...you head on over to his place; you're a booty call. He took you to that semi nice restaurant and a couple times to them corny ass chain restaurants, for them decent drinks and mediocre ass, warm ass food and that did it for you...bit** kill yourself.

If he never hits you up to go out anymore- you're a booty call.

If he only ask you to come over to chill or ask to come over- you're a booty call.

If the text he sends, always begin after 11 pm- you're a booty call.

The only things open late nights are drive thrus, hole in the wall clubs, strip clubs, and your legs. This man doesn't see a relationship with you, no kinda commitment, no kinda nothing! Sure, he has good sex...but what else does he offer.

*****

I pray my daughter never has aspirations to be anything less than a Queen. I know there was some humorous moments in this blog, but I know sooo many women who are happy with just being: the baby mom, who gets a child support check or the side piece who looks for happiness in the arms of a married man. Why not want more for yourself ladies...why not demand more from these men! You have a choice, you have leverage, you are Queens- Black, White, Latino, Asian, whatever, YOU, are a Queen! It doesn't take a blog to know that or a stupid ass post or tweet to confirm that! How could you be content with knowing that a man only sees you as JUST sex?! There are too many women giving passes and letting excuses run wild and not enough women who stand up and CHECK these men on their sh*t! I want to see you ladies happy...and I'm not talking happy with the new bag bae got you or the heels he got you or the once of month date he takes you on, where 60% of the time, ya'll are on the phone! DEMAND MORE! One day you'll look in the mirror and realize that being a man's wife, a man's life partner...is a lot better than being his cinnamon apple with good pussy, with a college degree, and decent credit!

*class is dismissed*

@renaissance_brotha_

Like a Broke Car, Bro...You're Pushing It

*I know this will get read and I hope it gets read and that it lights a fire under the ass of those who do this: ladies, stop mentioning to men, that WE have all these other f***ing women after us and yada yada yada because it's unattractive and it makes you look weak as a woman! I put it in a blog because if I text, Tango, Skype, email, KiK, SnapChat, Vine, Instagram DM, Tweet, FB post it 8/10 all you'll do is like and/or reference it back in the midst of a convo...STOP DOING THAT SH*T! No man mans to hear it! Ok, women comment and like things upon social media...that's the point! You think you're being funny but the moment a man feels offended then it's, "I need a man that's not a p***y of a God fearing solider," or some tom-foolery like that. Be mindful of how you converse with a man but more importantly how you come across as a woman because you will be blessed with someone exactly like you and if you think that ish is attractive or that it validates something...it doesn't. Cut the sh*t ladies, period.*

**********

Men cheat but women, women?!?! Women CHEAT! I'm not here to bash women or anything like that because I do feel (some) women have their reasons for cheating and this is what this entire blog is about:

reasons why she cheated.

I'm not saying cheating is right, just like I don't agree with Mona Scott producing more Love & Hip Hops but, that's neither here nor there. Sometimes the relationship isn't going too smoothly and she's tired of explaining things to you that you should be understanding after the 1000th time or maybe because you thought it was a good idea to step outside of ya'll commitment and sleep with the heffa Jennifer, you know, the one she's no longer friends with. Whatever the reason is, she's cheated, now what? If you're a typical man, you won't be able to stomach the fact that she's stepped out on you and if you're a typical man, you probably aren't reading this but, to the ones that are,

grab a seat, get comfy...

*class is in session*

1. Not The Man She Fell In Love With:

You remember getting her flowers because it was the nice thing to do or telling her to get dressed to go out to eat because she didn't feel like cooking or massaging her feet after she's had a long day at work...you might not, but she does. You were romantic! I'm talking: Gerald Levert, Keith Sweat, Joe (R&B music in the 90s) kinda romantic but now...you're like The Weeknd,

"can you let me stretch that pu*** out or nah/I'm not the type to call you back tomorrow..."

and while all that will get the vagina wet, if said properly, she's not that interested, why? Because you've changed. Who knows why or what has happened to you but unless that got communicated to her...you messed up bruh. When she goes from voicing her issues on why you don't do what you used to do to not giving a f***, just know she has begun to move on and more than likely she's moved on top of another man (or woman)...but that's none of my business.

2. You're Boring:

You've (hands clap) gotten (hands clap) too damn (hands clap) com-fort-able (hands clap)!

When you've become a robot or a "yes man" I can almost guarantee things will take a turn for the worst. She wants to have sex some place spontaneous- you wanna f*** her on the couch or the bed like always. She wants ya'll to cook together- you wanna go to out to eat or order in. She wants to try something new and you- "I don't know babe, that sounds like it's going to be boring!" YOU'RE boring and I'm talking:

watching paint dry while listening to Ice JJ Fish sing opera music BORING!

All that "naggin" she's doing isn't because she actually wants to...it's because she's tryna convey to you why she's upset and why she misses the way things USED to be! You've gotten all comfortable with the idea that you've got her, well, I hope you get comfortable with the idea that another man will have her like you had her...but that's none of my business.

3. Your Insecurities Are To Blame:

You know what's worse than seeing Flavor Flav and Momma Dee on tape having sex?

A man who is too damn insecure! The same way we as men tend to not wanna deal with women who bring too many insecurities into a relationship...is the same way women tend to get tired of men who use their insecurities as a crutch within the relationship. A real woman won't leave you because you're making less than her- she'll leave you because you aren't motivated to do more or want more. You complain about you being short- she doesn't. You've gained some weight- she tells you she'll go to the gym with you if you want but you're reluctant to do so. Your insecurities as a man has the ability to push her away into the arms of another man...but that's none of my business.

4. Relationship Sabotage:

We as men would like to believe that we're these, pitbull like kinda men and we're stone cold when it comes to dealing with matters of the heart but that isn't the case; we're vulnerable. We can play with a chick's heart and mind but the very moment she turns the tables around... 

THIS bitch!

Honestly, some of us are only filling a void and what's worse about that little piece of info is that a female will keep you around till she's done with you. Oh, you thought we were the only ones to do such trickery? Ha! She will cheat and make sure you find all kinds of pieces to the puzzle so YOU can be left with the dreadful decision: should I stay or should I go... 

Women sabotage on a different level of men and cheat far greater as well. Who lets you go thru their phone knowing evidence is all thru it and leaves the room long enough for you to snoop...but that's none of my business.

5. Karma Is A Bitch:

You remember how you f**ked whatsherface and got caught and thought karma wouldn't catch up to ya, well, it did...and karma is the white dude from her job, who always brings her those snacks she likes with beard that smells like lavender and the penis made of gold! I am no longer a fan of "revengeful cheating" only because I did it and it cost me the love of my life but you have to think about this:

why did you cheat in the FIRST place!?

She might act like it's no big deal...ok, I'm lying, she cares, but it's the fact that you didn't tell her and she found out or it's because you told her and your reasoning sucks! A woman will cheat back on you whether it's physically or emotionally and that sh** wil hurt you...

physically AND emotionally...but that's none of my business.

6. What You Won't Do...:

When you don't make her feel beautiful- another man will. It's simple, I know, but when I tell you that women look towards their man to be their biggest motivator and supporter; bruh! F*** all that, "WCW" ah ah ah, social media validation sh*t because your pops ain't have Instagram and guess what? He and your mom worked out just fine! YOU have to tell her she's beautiful! YOU have to let her know that you appreciate her and the things she does for you and the relationship! YOU have to support her when she needs it most! It's either you do it or have a brotha like me taking her out to bowl n'sh*t...but that's none of my business.

7. She Wasn't Sh*t To Begin With:

Some of these women ain't sh**

and we as men are to blame but

the rest that haven't been tainted or hurt...ain't sh**!

Someone women aren't designed to be in relationships because the idea seems, idk, foreign. The funny thing is, we'll do everything in our powers to convince her that we are just the right kinda man to change her mind, and when she obliges...she treats you like a Meg from Family Guy. When you force a relationship upon a woman who enjoys coming and going as she pleases and for whatever reason you feel that you can change that, I'm sorry but you will get hurt and cheated on...but that is my business...

Why?

Because cheating is f***ing awful! Women cheat fellas and we are partly the reason. Maybe her insecurities lead her to "throw her ass in a circle" on ol dude that drives the BMW or maybe it's the fact that you don't pay enough attention to her. Ladies, I love y'all and I always will but what happens when you have a man that spoils you, is loyal, gives you sex so good that you hug his mama extra tight every time you see her even tho you hate her ass? I would like to believe that men are part of the reason to you cheating but I also know that some women entertain another man and will begin to fall for his ass. If the dude you re with is boring, please let his ass know. If the dude you re with penis looks like a 6th grader's pinky and it doesn't satisfy you but you love him, let him know that. Take responsibility and stop allowing outside options and actions dictate how you go about your duties as a woman. If you are that weak, that you can bring yourself to cheat, that you've lost the ability to talk and make things work or just, idk, leave...that isn't my business...it's yours.

*class dismissed*

@renaissance_brotha_