A) not gonna find what you were looking for so that will leave you feeling some type of way.
or
B) you WILL find it and once you find what it is that you're looking for...9/10 you're NOT gonna be too pleased with your findings.
Nowadays, it seems like both men AND women wanna play the role of Inspector Gadget or his niece Penny...have a seat. Leave that, "investigation" BS to the real life detectives and law enforcement agents and people of that nature and worry more about the pressing issues that's going on in your relationship. You know what grinds my gears the most? The people who go snoopin, who DON'T know what it is that they're looking for and who lack the ability to trust. Now on the FLIP side to that, I understand why many play the role of detective...motherf***as lie so much! Lying is at an all-time high! Its to the point that a person lies so much that they aren't even deserving of your trust! Any person lie to your face, how you respect'em? Don't worry, I'll wait...
Oh
But I digress...
Today's class we will discuss, "snoop troopers" better known as snoopers.
*class is in session*
Snooping has been around for centuries! Back in the day, cave women would travel by foot to see if their husband was at work like he said he would be and then travel BACK home by foot and made sure that the house was clean and that dinner was done by the time he got home. Nowadays...that's not the case, hell, you'll be lucky if you get Chinese take out after your girl finds that a condom is missing from your drawer. Guys always wonder why a woman will go through emails, texts, call logs, wall post on Facebook, your inbox on Facebook, see who you're retweeting, old comments on Instagram, pockets, and even your drawers where you keep condoms and your underwear. To me, there's a difference between being a snooper and a person who is insecure with no real given suspicion nor rational motives.
"But if you in a relationship right and you have snooped, like myself..." (young lady in the far left corner)
If you my dear, and I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off, are in a committed relationship and you have to snoop...there's no REASON for you to be in that relationship. Sure, you might get that gut feeling telling you to go through his stuff and that's cool because that shows that you care enough about your sanity but in the same light, no one wants to be the crazy one and there is NO woman walking this Earth that wants to be made out to be the "crazy GF,"just as simple as that. Not all those who snoop are crazy or insecure, let me just state that now. When you know/feel there is a reason behind your suspicion which isn't based off of insecurities, you go through with your search.
You know why people snoop? Because they know deep down inside they aren't crazy. And no, I don't mean crazy like; letting your man rip that dress you had planned on returning to the store the next day because ya'll were in the heat of the moment or crazy like letting some dude step on those new sneakers and he look back at you and you don't say anything to him when he CLEARLY knows what he did...I'm talking bat sh*t crazy. Don't lie all the damn time and then expect someone not to go through your sh*t to find the truth, sh*t, that's like dropping money, getting in your car, driving off, and then you realize that it's gone once you get home, but you expected that person to chase after your car to return it...ain't nobody got time fo dat! Many of us like to make our partners out to be the crazy ones because we think that they're naive or oblivious to our weird ass behavior but guess what, we aren't. I for one am not about that, "making you out to be the crazy one" in the relationship because I fear I might get stabbed and if I get stabbed that means I have to go to the hospital, and if I gotta go to the hospital, that means I have to wear that gown with the ass all out and 9/10 I put it on wrong and don't realize it so that means my penis will be out and some nurse...well, you get where I'm going with this. If someone has been with you for years, why wouldn’t you expect for them to notice certain behavioral changes. Snooping is a result of not keeping it 100 with your significant other, period, point, blank!
The number one problem with women is that they snoop without having any ultimatum for their cheating partner. "I knew his ass was no good, I KNEW IT, UGHH!! Glad I caught his dumb ass!" But if you don’t have a consequence such as leaving or an ultimatum, then you’re simply wasting your precious time by snooping because nothing will change. A female will put herself through all kinds of hurt knowing good and damn well she ain't going nowhere! He already know you’re not going to leave, so what does he do,
"Yea...uh-huh, I hear you babe...you right...I'm sorry...Ima do better not just for you, but for US because at the end of the day, at the top, it's just us *pulls forward and kisses*" and then, minutes later, "Go deeper babe, yasssss...I'm bout to cum!!" and you settle for the same BS.
I know I've joked a lot but this is a serious matter but know this: if a woman wants to find out any kinda info, she will do a better search than the damn FBI and CIA, trust! You know why Obama is such a great president, because he caught Bin Laddy (joking of course). Bush wasn't that smart so, once Obama got into office, he was like, "I wonder how ima find this n**** without sending troops over there and getting them possibly killed?!" So, he sent a Twerk Team and if you aren't familiar with what a "twerk team" is I suggest you YouTube "twerk team" to get that answer. Anywho, long story short: he filled them in on what they needed to do, gave them a lil bit of money so they could get some outfits, gave them ample time to practice their routine, flew them to his hideout and BAM...the rest is history. So that whole story about the guys with the guns finding out his whereabouts, that sh*t is false, Obama sent a team of young women over there and why...because women know how to find sh*t, plain and simple. Now, of course I'm joking but seriously, there's never a need to hide anything from your partner and I truthfully mean that. What's done in the dark will eventually come to the light, period.
*class dismissed*
@renaissance_brotha
Very well put together. I wish people would actually get this. Women are definitely the best at finding things out. Been there done that.
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