Bronocchio & The Boy Who Cried Thot

I'm often asked why I don't write blogs about men and yada yada yada and honestly, the answer is simple:

I, don't, give, a sh*t, about, these, dudes!

I mean in a sense I do, but really...I don't be caring.

The part of me that actually cares is the responsibility we as men have when dealing with women and the lack of accountability we as men hold ourselves to. Men are strong creatures that will hold sh** down and whip another dude's as the moment he gets outta line, but the moment it comes down to telling his woman the truth...

Yup, *Mike Woodson face* (former head coach of the New York Knicks...you know, that team with Melo on it...you know, Lala Anthony's husband).

Men, lieee! Now, of course you ladies knew this already but I figured I'd touch on it since I seem to touch on just about everything else.

I(ve) lied. I'm not saying I'm out here lying and sh** to women about sh** but the lies I hear that some men are telling women and getting away with; ridiculous! I will say this: women are better liars; always have, always will be. That's nothing to glorify but too many men are under the impression that the lies they tell, trump that of a woman...nah bruh, nah. The reason why I'm not lying to women no more...

I remember when Left Eye from TLC (RIP) set this n**** clothes on fire in that tub and that tub caught fire and that house caught fire and his house burneddddd down to the ground! I'm also reminded of the time of this song by R&B artist, Jazmine Sullivan, where she talked about busting the windows outta some n**** car and even tho my black ass don't own a car (yet), when I do get a car...I don't even want her weave strands being left in my car let alone a f***ing brick or some next s***! And lastly, I'm reminded of Lorena Bobbit...

I mean, she literally cut his wee-wee off...OFF!

But without further ado

*class is in session*

My D*** Big Or Nah:

I mean, sure, some dudes are packing but the ones who are usually bragging? That's a form of a deep seeded insecurity and they feel, "If I can convince her that I got a big ol' d***...she's gonna wanna f***!"

So what he do? Send you a d*** pic!

All that sh** he was talking and his sh** ain't even longer than the toothpick you get in the mall food court when they give you a sample of the food?!?! Oh hell nah! 7/10 of you dudes who claim to be packing, ain't packing! (some) Females will stroke a man's ego and tell him that it's "decent" and that sh*t ain't even a-ok! Dudes get gassed thinking they "Sweet D*ck Willie* but in reality...they be coming up short…like the collection plate with a cheap congregation. If 1 chick says you were a great, the next 1 says you were good, and the next 3 say you were, “iight,” there’s a problem; 1 great + 1 good + 3 iight’s = (doing calculations)…a fair and last time I checked, saying someone is fair in the sex department, wasn’t a good look. But ya’ll take that 1 chick who said ya’ll was great and go out in the world and tell all kinda lies; “I beat the p**** up, up, up,” when in all actuality, “you ain't even make her nut, nut, nut, nut, nut!" Just be honest! 8/10, she'll still let you have sex and if you know what you're doing, you'll get to do so over and over again.

We Gotta Good Thing Or Nah:

"I like you, I really do...but I don't want a relationship right now." - said by 94.29% of men

Peep the scenario:

Mike & Marsha are cool. They like each other. One day, she invites him over for a Netflix night...you know, that kinda night where you guys eat and watch half the movie because the other half of the movie you're in her so deep, you can feel her stomach! Marsha says,

“I’m not ready to be committed, solo, what’s gonna happen between us? I just got outta a bad relationship and to be honest...I'm just not ready.”

“I mean, I like you, but I’m not ready for a serious relationship right now…but we can be friends,” replies Mike…

WHAAT!! *Trey Songz voice*

This is a common lie guys tell females A LOT, when they just wanna have sex with no strings attached. Mike knew what he was doing. He knew what he was saying. He knew Marsha wanted him to take it down like Ray J did Kim K! All in all, he was running game like LeBron is about to do to these Bobcats! When Marsha stated, “…I’m not ready for a commitment,” this really meant, "I’m DTF (down to f___), only if you’re willing to commit!" At that point, this gave Mike the, “beat it up, even tho I’m not in a relationship” pass. At the end of the day, this will be a lie guys continue to tell…ladies, just be smart, use your words wisely because not being direct will get you hurt.

I Been Busy Or Nah:

BEST SH*T EVEEEER!

I'm joking, but no one is that damn busy where they cant send a text or call for a minute or two. Like seriously? We live in time where people live with their phones in their hands and guys? Sure, he might actually be busy but with school, work, his kids, running errands, and things of that nature, but honestly, there are so many opportunities to let someone you're talking to/married to/going out with know you're thinking about them. I've had this problem but, this ain't the blog for that to talk about women and their bullish*t, but no man is truly THAT busy; it's bs ladies. (some) Dudes be too busy...GETTING busy' respect it, check it, or neglect it (you know my motto). No dude wants to come off as being thirsty, so how is he gonna act? The exact opposite. “I’ve been too busy even for myself,” is utter malarkey, think about it; Monday – Friday evening I’ve been busy, (so I say), 6PM rolls around and you hit me up and all of a sudden, NOW I’m not busy? HA! Ladies, be careful, once you become “open” he becomes open, #ThinkAboutIt.

I Got Dem Js Or Nah:
I know a lot of dudes lying about basic sh*t like...Jordans because they think a woman will be like, "oh you aint got no damn degree but you got a Masters in Jordanology!" I know grown ass women who want matching sneakers with their man and matching f***ing clothes and matching f****ing Gucci belts and it's sickening! But what grown man lies about dressing nice? Like, this shouldn't even be a topic but dead ass it's crazy! Thanks to Instagram, dudes are able to search for a pic, crop it, add a filter, add some corny ass caption, and post it like it's theirs. You tell her you got all these Steve Harvey suits and Burberry ties and she comes to your house searching around and now she's looking like...

When you're in your mid 20s and up still lying about materialistic sh*t like that will impress a WOMAN...bruh, you need to look in the mirror...

and smash ya face.

Ima Leave Her For You Or Nah:
People think that side pieces are this new age thing anddd...they are not:
“Woman to Woman," - Betty Wright (my favorite)

"As We Lay" - Shirley Murdock 

"Friend of Mine" - Kelly Price

“Can’t Be the Other Woman" - Changing Faces

A man will fill your head up with this bs about, "leaving his main woman for you," and months down the line...it's the same f***ing sh*t! These songs illustrate just that: these dudes ain't loyal! Come and tell Renaissance Brotha how good that pu*** is that it'll make him leave the woman who washes his clothes, irons, cooks, cleans up his car, gives him money, sucks and f***s him whenever, wherever without fear of being seen and someone telling...

...I'll wait...

Oh yea b*tch, it ain't happening. This lie is great because he gets to keep manipulating you and he gets to go home to his girl like everything is cool. Oh, you thought he was doing something when he double tapped on your pic? Haaa! You MUST be on the same thing Frank Ocean was on while he was messing with the, “model broad w/ the Hollywood smileee,” to think that this bold face lie holds any kinda truth. Ladies:

DON’T (claps hands) GIVE HIM (claps hands) THE (claps hands) TIME OF DAY, (claps hands) UNTIL (claps hands) THE (claps hands) MAIN CHICK (claps hands) IS NO LONGER IN THE WAY (claps hands 2x)!!! 

I Got Kids...Or Nah:

Ahhh, the world we live in where men openly lie or decide to omit info about that they're fathers to women they decide to talk, outta fear of scaring her off or...because he just doesn't give a f***! The moment you treat your children like a hand in a game of Spades where your partner ask you, "how many you got homie," and you're like this...

shoot yourself. 

We're talking kids here...kids...not your baby mama situation...kids *A.I. voice*

So many women are understanding of a man who has kids because that helps them get some kinda understanding as to who you are and what you're about and what kinda man you will be (in a sense) to her/for her. A man who don't take care of his kids, more times than none won't take care of you REGARDLESS of the situation (I am willing to debate this one, even tho I am not a father). If he lying about his kids, sh*t, he might be lying about the girl who always drops them off who ain't his baby moms...

which brings me to my last point

She’s Just a Friend Or Nah:
I have many female friends, hell, I'm still best friends with one of my ex GF, why? Because we were FRIENDS before we got into a relationship. Now I know many women are gonna be like, "what the f*** do ya'll still need to be friends for?" When you're an adult, this crazy thing called maturity gets factored in and you're able to hold convos and go out and chill. Some dudes I know and some dudes you'll meet ladies aren't "just friends" with some of their female friends...they're f***ing them...and when I say f*cking, I mean, he's sticking his penis inside of her, from missionary, doggy, and reverse cowgirl. Because of Instagram, females are lead to believe that any female who tends to leave an emoji face or some kinda of comment that suggest more than the relationship actually is...that the dude is f***ing her. I'm here to say that's wrong...sometimes. Dudes will tell you this and erase the comment so fast, *phew*. When you ask him and he starts to smile, giggle, chuckle even...he's giving her the D in, and or around her mouth! This doesn't apply to new couples or "just talking/getting to know" because ya'll don't have sh"t established, so have a seat elsewhere. This applies to couple with some years because a dude will lie in your face while having sex, mid stroke, I'm talking while you're moaning and mutter to you that he is not f***ing the girl who ALWAYS takes ya'll order at Red Lobster. What you ladies need to do is to gather evidence, approach his ass, ask him, and if he denies, present it to him and then you slap his punk ass and then you find that b**** and ask her to do it for the Vine...while you cock your gun back!

*We at A Better Breed Of Man do not support gun violence and no adult problem should be handled with such brash decisions*

I'm not even gonna come up with some fancy ass ending: just don't lie fellas. I know it's hard because the truth hurts, hell, life hurts, point is, the one you love don't deserve that. Lie to your boss. Lie to the cop about to write you a ticket. Don't lie to your woman...KARMA SUCKS, TRUST ME I KNOW! We, have, to, do, BETTER guys and I mean that. If it has to start with one, so be it, but, let it be a step forward and not a step to the side or backwards. Be about progression…you’ll get more outta life. 

@Renaissance_Brotha_

Fumbles & Interceptions

Before I start, just a few things:

• chivalry has been around for, idk, forever! So with that being said: a guy (because this seems to be an issue [some] women have with [some] men) texting you "good morning" is NOT chivalry; it's just a kind gesture.
• communication is a two way street: not a one way or a dead end; #ThinkAboutIt
•keep your relationship problems/issues off of social networking sites...we don't care about'em! If its a cry for attention you want...hit up the person you're in the relationship with! The moment you post "x y z" someone is gonna chime in with "a b c" and you gonna be a-n-g-r-y.
•if you're near 30 or in your 30s...stop acting like you're in your early 20s/mid 20s; men and women. All the stubbornness, sense of entitlement, faking interest, so on and so forth will only get you put on that "Summer Jam" screen f****ng around, period.

*class is in session*

Let me tell you right now that this blog will focus on the mistakes we as men make in relationships; nothing more nothing less. I as a man have made tons of mistakes which is why my ex is my ex but I have learned from those mistakes and I would like to believe I am a better man for it.

To say that women are to blame for ALL relationship issues, is absurd. To say that there WON'T be bumps along the way, is ridiculous. To say that they have this virtual market where you can buy hair, clothes, diet supplements, weed, henny coladas, food, and damn near a spouse and we call this place Instagram...is down right ludicrous!

But I digress

We as men get too comfortable early in the relationship and forget that consistency is key. We forget that: whatever we did to win you over, should be done to keep you there as well. If we get you to let your guard down, we're content and that...is where we f*** up! So without further ado, here are some relationship mistakes us as guys make...

Ok...So Now What:
We meet the girl, get to know her, date, get to know her some more, date more, f***, date even more, f*** some more, get into a relationship, send flowers randomly,do a bunch of romantic sh*t, listen to her complain about how much she hates working at Victoria Secret on weekends, we cuddle up and watch Bad Girls Club when we'd rather watch a blind person change a baby's diaper in a snow storm, I mean, we do all this stuff and then...we fall flat. We're caring, affectionate, honest, and open in the beginning, thinking that because we've, "won her heart" if you will, we can kick our feet up; negative.

Fellas, the worst thing you can do is slack off. She kept you at a distance to get a better understanding of you, you won her over, now you're the one being distant and you're mad because she's starting to grow distant? Bruh! Once you push her to that point of no return, it'll be late night R&B mixed with crying, wishing you can get that ol thang back! The same attention you gave her in the beginning, keep that consistent throughout the relationship.

I Can See Myself With You, Like...Forever:
On one side of the coin: you'll get the guy who is afraid of commitment and on the other side of that coin: you'll get the guy who will let you know, "I can see me spending my life with you," only after knowing you a few months! "Yea, I can see you being my queen! We'd make some good lookin babies. Plus, moms is talkin about grandkids.

Wait a min, wait a min - Kevin Hart voice.

For some females, that's enough to change the number, change the Twitter name, deactivate the FB, and start a whole new Instagram! Fellas, take it eaassy! Forever tho? Forever is a mighty long time to spend with a person you've only known for 2 months, 2 weeks, and 4 days. Pump ya brakes. Let time take its course and if it's meant to be, it will be.

Another Again/..That's It?:
First few months we're like ANIMALS! You can't keep us from jumping on top you any opportunity we get,

In the mirror while you're doing your hair/in the shower while you're applying Nair/by the cabinets where the dishes go/in back row of the movie theaters, on the low

After some months pass, females are left asking, "is that it...?". Some dudes get into relationships and think minimal sex is cool and don't realize and what happens is that, weeks go by, and we haven't even considered to have sex because subconsciously, them weeks really feel like only a few days. Contrary to popular belief, sex is a major deal in most relationships (I stand by that last sentence). Now on the flip side of that you have dudes that want it too much (yes, I said too much). For some females who work, go to school, have to come home cook and clean...sex can be the last thing on her mind. I know you read that but seriously, think about that for a minute or two. It's not that she doesn't want sex, it's just, she doesn't want it all the time and what happens is that because we as men don't understand, we take that as, "oh this b**** wanna act up and not f***? Cool, let me go f*** wit a side jawn!"

Bruh!

Learn to compromise! period, point, blank!

Attention Deficit:

One of the things I know to be certain is that when you pay lil attention to your partner...your partner will give her attention elsewhere. It's like we're there physically but mentally, we've checked out. I'm not saying, quit your job, diss ya homeboys, or spend less time with your family just to be all up, under her now, but ignoring her? Will be the quickest way to have every Big Sean, Justin Timberlake, Rick Ross, Trey Songz, Lil' Mama in the face, look-a-like at her door wanting to "do it for the Vine" inside her...and trust me...she will let 'em do it.  The sad thing about it is, she'll actually consider entertaining them because you have now created what I like to call, "The Attention Void". Don't let it get to a point where you begin to lose sight of who she is and the reasons you're with her. Either you find that necessary balance that all relationships need or find yourself arguing with some dude that looks like her celebrity man crush.

I'll takeee, "backbone" for 500 Alex:
Dude + no backbone = a "welcome home" mat. Your woman will treat you like a welcome mat when you become too relaxed in your relationship. F*** all that submission sh*t...BE A MAN! These women want m-e-n, not a damn dog! Yet sadly, some men believe that the only way they can keep a woman around is by doubling as her pet, and agreeing with everything that she says. Big damn mistake buddy...big mistake! She'll start to feel this sort of, "entitlement", to make you do whatever, feel whatever, act however, wherever, when you don't stand up for yourself and you become a "yes man":

"Yes dear, I'll cut my hair even though I cut it last week."
"Yes babe, we can have sex, even tho my leg hurts from getting dunked on by Terry at the gym."
"Yea babe, your mother can come visit, even tho when she brings that damn dog that likes to piss all over the couch."

The ladies from my job always tell me, "Ant-nee (Anthony w/ a Jamaican dialect), we want a big, strong man, not a lickkle dog.". Case and point: ladies want a man who will stand firm beside them and not quiver underneath them...

Treadmillship:
Treadmill + relationship = treadmillship. How many of you have been or are currently in, a relationship that feel similar to a treadmill? Time sees to go by and by but certain things seem to remain the same. (some) Females hate that stagnant feeling in regards to relationships, which is why ultimatums come up when things get to a standstill:

"Either, (hands clap) you (hands clap) get (hands clap) ya sh*t together or (hands clap) I'm (hands clap) though (hands clap, hands clap) through!"

or
"Listen, we've been dating for 5 years now and the convo of engagement hasn't even come up yet...what do you want me to do? Because I can and I won't wait forever you know..."

I mean, the last one is a lil' over exaggerated, but, you get the point.

The biggest mistake we can make as guys is thinking that every thing is mashed potatoes and gravy, with the relationship stuck with no direction.

Here's the thing...

I feel we as guys need to communicate better because with that, we open up more doors for opportunities to grow together, or, grow apart. Mistakes will happen, I mean, sh*t, what relationship won't encounter some stumbles along the way? The goal is to push forward! Make sure you have a direction in which you want the two of you to go in. Have an understanding of self because as a man...if you don't have an understanding of self, there's no way you will be mentally ready to be the nigga/man/king whatever, for any female out here. Realize your mistakes, compromise, be HONEST not only with her but with yourself because if you're not honest with who you are...you think she'll take you seriously?

Nah, the answer to that is nah. Don't let the best thing slip away...because you wanna be a di**, trust me, I know.

@Renaissance_Brotha_

So I Have This Friend...Whose In a Situationship

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent*

Email from @UHateMe__JoinDaClub

Subject: U give advice…I need some

Hi Renaissance Man, my name is Jasmine and my bestie is in love with your lil blogs so I had to read one for myself and I will say, you got it goin on! They be long, but it covers a lot and I like that you kno what you talkin bout. So, basically I need advice because she said you good with the advice. Me and my man have been together, off and on tho (you kno how that be) for about 3 years now and I love him but I don't feel like we goin nowhere you kno what I mean? Like, he cheated, so I cheated. He be talking to other chicks on the gram, so I talk to other dudes on the gram, its only fair lol. But seriously, idk if you listen to Fab but he has this song called Situation ships and I feel that song fits him and me perfectly you know what I mean. So, if you could, could you help me out a lil, I would appreciate that or if you could. thank you renaissance man!!

So I Have This Friend…Whose In A Situationship

For those who are unaware of what a "situationship" is, ABetterBreedOfMan defines a "situationship" in two different ways...

1) a relationship where both parties argue on a constant basis and can't seem to find a common ground with their differences. You become used to each other after a period of time but you're unsure if things should end, stay as is, or change for the better. It's a "situation" that you KNOW needs to be dealt with more sooner than later, but, you're unsure of how to address the problems at hand.

2) something more than a friendship, with relationship like characteristics, but...without the title. So basically: you're having sex, you're going out on dates, you're getting to know each other, all that good stuff but...the two of you HAVE feelings for each other (and this is known) but, you're not together as boyfriend-girlfriend.

stupid, I know, but I digress...

We've all been in a "situationship" once or twice (some more than others) but this song helps to capture just WHAT a "sitatuinonship" truly is in every essence of it's title. For those who have never heard the song by Brooklyn rapper Fabolous, please take a minute to listen (Situationships) before you read the blog.

Done?

*class is in session*

So, you need advice, here it is...

"and all we do is fuck and argue/Yeah that's it, fuck and argue"

When I first heard this, I thought he was saying, "and all we do is fuckin argue/yea that's it, fuck AND argue," as some sort of play on words but I digress. Arguments usually come from a few different places:

A) misunderstanding
B) miscommunication
C) I was hurt by something you said and or did/didn't do

and so on and so forth. Whatever the reason may be, they always lead to sh** being said, that shouldn't have been said in the first place and you regretting whatever it was that you said in the heat of the moment. You're not thinking, you're mad, so, who cares if I hurt your feelings at the moment because all I wanna do is express how I feel and make YOU understand where I'M coming from. You're not responding from a place of understanding, 9/10 it's coming from a place of hurt and anger, so I'm not even thinking logically, I'm just responding and that's where that misunderstanding of the situation can lead to miscommunication. How might you ask? Because now someone is yelling!

You: "You mad over Instagram?"
Them: "No! I'm mad over how you CARRY yourself ON Instagram!"
You: "That makes no sen..."
Them: "NO, NO, BECAUSE I DON'T CARE! YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME! ALL YOU DO IS FUCKING, BEAT AROUND THE BUSH AND NEVER LISTEN NOR SEE WHAT THE FUCK I BE SAYIN!!!"

An argument can go from 0-60 in no time when things get heated. Things get said...feelings are hurt...days go by...and now there's that awkwardness. What fixes arguments better than Dr. Phil and Iyanla? S-E-X! You're sorry and they're sorry, so, yall end all that with some sex! You remember what happened in Baby Boy: Yvette and Jody was yelling at each other in one scence, "I hate you...I hate you!", next scene... "Oh I love you! (insert moans and screams here)". Point being: arguments and sex go hand in hand...but does sex, ever truly solve anything? I'll get to that later...

"why have somebody lying with me every night/If they just gon be lying to me every night"

Shit ain't right...them long days gon turn into real awkward nights, trust me! Lying is one of the BIGGEST things we as people hate the most but tend to ignore or put on the back burner quite often when it comes to someone we love. Ya'll in bed talking and you ask your partner something that you KNOW they're gonna lie about but for some reason, you let it slide. If you're laying in the bed with a liar, not only is THAT person a liar, but it makes you an even bigger liar because: what was it that you told that person that you hated the most when ya'll first started talking? You hate, LIARS! "If there's one thing I despise the most: its liars!". I know what youre thinking, "well how am I a liar?" well,

1) you told that person you hate liars but you allow the lying to happen and check it half ass
2) how can you know a person is lying to your face and do not a damn thing about it?!? (that's like me robbing you with condom over a banana, and spray painting it black and saying...its a gun; sh** makes no sense!)
3) you're lying about how you feel! Oh, now y'all Eminem and Rihanna huh, you love the way they lie...f*** outta here! Lying to yourself about how you feel doesn't hurt that person, it hurts YOU ya dumbass!

You might be confused now, but I'll bring it together later...

"used to be lovers, now we, used to each other/keep accusing each other, of us, using the other/and what's crazy is, soon as you fall back they crawl back/saying they sorry and want it all back"

Shit ain't right...after awhile, you just become, used to each other. I put up with ya sh*t- because I love you. You come in late and don't say sh*t- because I've grown not to care. Oh, you don't care- well I don't care. After awhile, your partner becomes like, idk...your roommate and you only go to your roommate when you want/need something. That's when you begin to feel like you're being taken advantage of, used even and that's when, sh*t starts to hit the fan. You stop doing for that person, then you break up, and then it turns into, "this is my sorry fooorrr, 2000 (whatever) " or "I'm sorry babe, I, I just wanted to see if you would fight for me,"

Bruh!

***"titles ain't shit if the story don't match it/now you got a itch, looking for a way to scratch it/flirting online hoping shorty don't catch it"

I star this one because this is probably the biggest thing when it comes to "situationships": non-titled relationships. What this means is: you're with someone, you guys have sex, date, you've become friends, you know their friends, you've met the family, you post subliminal messages about each other on social networks, you've met the kids, basically, it's LIKE you're in a relationship but...neither one of you have decided on taking it to that next level. After awhile you'll want something after not wanting, kinda like the female who wants what you're eating, when her ass could've just ordered it her self. Never and I mean never should no male or female accept being in no, "oh i like you but I'm not looking for anything right now, just someone to kick it with and if things go to that level, ima wait for you to say it because that's not what I wanted in the first place and yes, we will have sex, but you can't be out here having me look stupid, f*cking other people, and if I love you, you have to love me the f*** back," kinda relationship. Why? Because if that person decides to, idk, entertain someone else, technically, you have no right to be mad (unless they blatantly lie to you about it). Now when you're in a relationship, at some point, you're gonna get that itch, and you're gonna wanna explore new options. Twitter, Instagram, and other social networking sites allow you to do just that but the problem with that is, now you gotta keep it on the down low like R. Kelly and don't get caught up, like R. Kelly, and get an asswhippin like, R. Kelly. Flirting online: is cool. Flirting online with the intention on doing something BEYOND just flirting: not cool. To be blunt as possible: stop allowing social networking sites to dictate how your relationship should look and stop allowing yourself to be in these situationships that only benefit you for the meantime; after 25 years old, it's about building into something greater than meaningless sex and matching Jordans...I'm thinking...marriage, kids, house, cars, joint accounts, relationship with the Lord, sex at basketball game.

"you tryna take back something you already said /that's like giving CPR to something already dead"
I'll be as frank as possible with this one: think before you speak because once those words leave out, maannn will, they, do, damage! Verbal abuse is so crazy in a relationship, like, it has the potential of f***ing someone up so bad for the next person and we as the abuser...don't even realize it. You can tell that person you adore them, love them, and all that mushy stuff but the moment, the very moment you say something that catches them off guard, that's totally left field, I mean something sooo hurtful; it's like everything you said PRIOR to that, has gone out the window. You ever burn a bridge and then realize...

how the f*** am I gonna get back across?!

You can't. I mean, you could, if and only if that person decides to send a boat (wants to make amends) and most times, they don't. Never burn a bridge before fully knowing if you're gonna need that same bridge to cross again in life. You know how hard it is to fully forgive someone who you love and trust so much after that same mouth that they just used to tell you they loved you with, rips you apart?!?! 

Bruh!

HOW I SEE IT IS...

*with regards to sex and arguments*
Sex after an argument is cool because that orgasm helps you relax but then what? You cum and those feelings that you have for that person a few minutes, hours, days, weeks ago are still there! Sex did nothing really if you take into consideration that in a few days or a week or so, you're still gonna argue about crap that already happened. My solution: thoroughly talk about what it is without yelling and over-talking. Don't cut each other off, don't dismiss, don't disregard what they're saying, and most importantly...listen AND hear where that person is coming from and think, before you speak.

*with regards to love, trust, & lying picture*
This is how we picture it:

I love you, so I trust you, and because I trust you, I expect you not to lie to me...

But, this is how it goes is:

I love you, I really do, but I don't trust you, so, I lie to you so you won't get(feel) hurt because of what I do(did) because I really do love you!

All of that sh*t is intertwined with each other...think about it.

Situationships my dear, don't work...ever! I say, have a face to face convo with your man and hash things out because if you don't, things will only get worse! Don't wait till its too late to realize that the person who's been riding with you for so long...will actually get out the car and help you fix that flat: let it marinate. Being with someone who is unsure of what you are and where you're going, isn't the person for you. If you need anymore advice, just let me know. Hopefully this song break down helped you.

@renaissance_brotha_

So I Have This Friend: Whose Sex is Wack!

*names have been changed to protect the innocent*

Email from friend:
"Yo Ant, this bi*** @geminisweet p**** is wack! It smelled like 22 Africans in leather suits b! It's like, she dead came and then got up and showered and left, like, are you serious! I almost blacked on her! If I didn't have to study for MCATs I would've blacked b! Why these b****es think they can get theirs and bounce like that? Why was she so stiff?!?! I don't wanna waste your time but I want you to make a blog about this b, like, that's ya homegirl and I blame you for tellin me to f***. I wasted my night and I coulda been in Mel b, like, I curved Mel for this b****! Make a blog about her sex being wack or something because I'm not f***in these b****es no more man, it got me aggy!

Dilla"

Women think that they're the only ones who experience bad sex but guess again ladies, you're not. For the past few months, swarms of guys have been hitting me up asking me to make a post or blog about women and their lackluster sex, so, here we are. Now, in no way, shape or form am I degrading women in any way, nor do I want this to come across as sexist, but ladies...sometimes your sex ain't on point. I've experienced some bad sex partners in my day, fortunately not a crazy amount because I'm not out here giving the d*** away like Rondo dishing the ball but the ones that I have experienced...*phew*! I figured I'd put together a list of complaints I've gotten and also share some of my insight for your reading pleasure. Without further ado, I present to you:

So I Have This Friend...whose sex is wack!

*class is in session*

Spider-Man:
I will NEVER, be able to understand: how a woman can say, "yea, yea, just make sure you give me all that d***!" and then

10 minutes later...

"baby...babe...wait, wait, hol'up, hol'up!"

Oh, so you Big Sean now? Men don't like women who run from the d*** just like women don't like men who can't keep their d*** up! You wanna be a runner? Apply at Applebee's or Friday's. I'm suckin' and lickin' on that clit, don't stop me. I got your legs on my shoulders, hittin' that spot, don't put your clammy ass hands on my chest to push me away. I got ya face down, ass up, hands grippin' ya waist, don't scoot away. If it hurts, say so, if not, let me pin you down and enjoy it because all that movin' n'sh*t like lil' boys do in the barber chair... #AintNobodyGotTimeFoDat
Tip: If its feelin' good to you, let it be so you can cum and speaking of cummin'...

tap-out:
I will NEVER, be able to understand: how a woman can even fix her lips and say some sh*t like, "I'm bout to cum, YES...*wooo*...I'm done (insert smiley face)." Done? B***h, you done making that box macaroni and cheese you make every Tuesday? Or are you done leaving hair in the shower because I'm confused. I know loads of men are guilty of the same behavior but all it takes is a 5 minute blow job and 10 minutes of penetration and we're good; women on the other hand require a lot more time and effort. No man wants to hear, "yea, yea, yea just make sure you ain't stingy with the d***!" and then she's stingy with the p****, WTFeezy!? Just because yo ol' selfish ass is finished don't mean I'm done! You better make that mouth work or them hands work because I counted two orgasms for you and 0 for me and I better nut before I turn into the Incredible Hulk over here.

Oh, you thought I was a "1-minute man" ha. You thought I was gonna get a taste of dat p****, bust a nut n'go to bed ha. You thought I was like Tyrone ha; you thought them backshots was gon' take me out my zone ha. Well baby girl see you wrong ha. You came a few times, now you surprised I last long ha...

I digress,

Tip: You may have laughed at that musical break but seriously: don't just leave him hangin', finish what you start.

doorknob stiff:
I will NEVER, be able to understand: how you can post videos of you "twerkin dat ass" for Vine or Instagram but when it comes to sex...you're like a fish outta water! Maybe it's me, may-be-it's-ME, but how you gon' climb yo ass in the bed and then don't climb on the d*** to ride!? You better put some movement on dat d***! (Pops from Friday voice). I'm not saying you have to go ape s*** on the d***, but hell, if you moving like Sara from Save The Last Dance when Derrick taught her how to dance when we out at the club, don't be as stiff as President Obama when he was on Ellen (Obama Dancing) when we f***, plain and simple.
Tip: Don't let me be the only one putting in some action! If we're in doggystyle position, throw that ass back! If you're on top ridin', get on your tippy-toes and bounce!

The Nicki Minaj-er:
I will NEVER, be able to understand: how after only TWO damn strokes...you screaming like a damn exorcist is being performed! Can I get to stroke 17 before you start reciting sexual scriptures!? Oh, so you want a Tony Award for your performance? Or, or maybe you thought you were gonna get an Oscar? Keep the Nicki Minaj- voices and faces outta the bedroom! I know the d*** be good but if you wanna perform and live out your inner thespian, become a YouTube actress; cut the sh*t.
Tip: Grab a damn pillow and yell into it. Grab your panties, roll them into a little ball and shove them in your mouth, unless your vagina smells like pig tongue and sauerkraut, which brings me to my next point...

all-day-p**** (ADP):
I will NEVER, be able to understand: how any woman can expect a man to lick, suck, finger, or stick his penis into a vagina that has not been cleansed! If you know you've been out all day at work, or in the gym, or grocery shopping, or shoe shopping, or at bible study and then you want me to come over (or you come over) and you're expecting sex and you ain't take some soap and water to that vagina? I hope your clit falls off! Seriously tho, that sh*t ain't cool. Hygiene is important and should be a top priority when it comes to sex. Also ladies, stop going to the bathroom to pee and/or sh*t and then getting back in the bed expecting us to resume sexual activities, it's just not happening.
Tip: Cleanliness is next to Godliness; make sure you wash the holy hell outta your vagina, amen!

what dat mouth DON'T do?:
I will NEVER, be able to understandable: how any woman can expect a man to go deep sea divin' and then turn around and won't play a clarinet solo on the penis! Do I look like Charlie Brown? You not gon' play me! Now me personally, Anthony, I'm not a fan of it, but a normal dude who ENJOYS receiving oral sex, will feel some kinda way. Also, no teeth; this ain't a BBQ and my d*** is NOT a piece of corn! Lastly, for all you women who expect men to swallow your vaginal juices when we're performing oral but you scrunchie your face up when we want to cum in YOUR mouth, listen: either you're swallowing or yore taking it on your upper lip because if not...stay at home and watch Law & Order.
Tip: If you don't like the way it taste, have him increase his fruit intake. If you're not a 'flute blower' or you know you "suck d***" at suckin' d***, just stay at home and watch a Netflix movies.

*non-positional:
I will NEVER, be able to understand: how the only positions you do are:

•doggystyle
•missionary
•ridin' a dude's face

Don't nobody got time for that, "but I only cum when he hittin it from the back!" ... have you TIRED sex while on your side, one leg flat, the other wrapped around him or in the air and he just goes deeper and deeper...and deeper? Probably not but guess the f*** what: IT'LL MAKE YOU THANK HIS MAMA FOR BRINGING HIM INTO THIS WORLD! You don't have to be Gabby Douglas on the d*ck (No R. Kelly) but f*** out-SIDE your comfort zone! I'm not asking you to be a trapeze artist but expand your horizons! On the other hand tho, ladies, stop tryna do positions that don't fit your body type. If you know you can't ride the d***, spare the both of us because if I'm bored, I'm grabbing my phone and watching Hey Arnold on YouTube. Stop tryna do splits n'sh*t when you know good-and-damn-well your body ain't set up that way. If you're athletically challenged: find a yoga class, Zumba, or come to me for some ballet moves that you can utilize...my services don't come cheap tho.
Tip: Listen to Usher's, "That's What It's Made For," for some inspiration or seriously, take up Yoga.

squirt without warning:
I will NEVER, be able to understand: how a woman can KNOW she's a squirter but decides not to disclose that info to me before sex. I, like many other men, LOVE a squirter but without warning? Nah (Chief Keef voice). If I'm tongue drillin' you, you start screaming, legs start shakin', and it turns into splash waterfalls...I'm going into the kitchen, grabbing the biggest pot, filling it with water, and tossing it on your face! Give me a warning at least so I can use some old bed sheets and a couple of towels, so we both not looking at each other like, "rock-paper-scissors for who sleeps in the wet spot?" because 9/10 I'm gonna win and you're gonna be mighty upset about having to sleep in that sh*t.
Tip: Give me a heads up, that simple.

leave my ass alone:
I will NEVER, be able to understand: how any woman can think its cool to run their lil' manicured fingers anywhere near a man's ass. Oh, ohhhhhh, orrrr their tongue!!! Consult (claps hands) your (claps hands) man (claps hands) before (claps hands) deciding (claps hands) to (claps hands) Lamborghini his doors (claps hands)! What I mean is: don't just assume because you go from the d*** to the balls, that you gotta move your damn tongue down into my booty hole! YES- it's a pleasure zone for men; NO- no man wants his salad tossed without warning! This ain't HBO Oz! Some dudes enjoy it-hey, more power to them but ask first. If you wanna grab my ass while we're in missionary, go for it but please...don't move those fingers elsewhere. You stick your fingers in my ass, I'm d**k'-dippin' in ya butt!
Tip: Just ask because no man wants a "Lamborghini Mercy" outta nowhere.

Now I'm sure there are a lot more I forgot to mention so, share some, if you don't mind! All feedback is welcomed and highly encouraged!

I hope you enjoy this Dilla and make sure you tell other dudes to read and follow the movement too boy!

@renaissance_brotha_

Girl Code

So back in 2011 MTV thought of the great idea to bring the unwritten laws of man to T.V. and since then, this show has been a success! This show ladies and gentlemen...

is Guy Code.

Honestly, I was against the show because to me, how in the hell are you gonna expose some of the great things that bond US, as men, together regardless of race, age, color, creed, religion, or gang affiliation. So when it first started to come on, I watched, not too much impressed, but now, I watch it whenever it's on! And why? Because it's pretty damn accurate for the most part and...it's hilarious! Now the show doesn't explain all things regarding men but it does a pretty good job covering the basic things. In reality, there are certain things we just don’t do to one another (men) unless betrayed first. There's been PLENTY of times where a dude would hit me up and say, "aye bro, ummm, I've been talkin to so&so and we think that blog sh*t you're doin is cool, we f**k wit it but ummm...why you snitchin on us bruh!?" To me, I don't see it as snitchin, I mean, a lot of men snitch on themselves way more but, I digress. Today's class won't be about Guy Code, oh no, today we're gonna dicuss...Girl Code.

No, not the spin off show that MTV is doing of Guy Code...well, yea, it is like that, but just in blog form, and a lil more ratchet and funnier. I've learned over the years that there is no unwritten rule between women, which is why females constantly say, "I don't hang with b****es because they can't be trusted! That's why I hang with men more,"...righ-t! Here's what I've learned over the years: a female will betray another girl to gain favor with a man, how fucked up is that? My good friend tells me this all the time, "you know Ant, you're a good guy, because I don't see HOW you f***in befriend these chicks because on the real...females ain't s***!" You know how guys handle sitautions that are too much for words, they fight. Females on the other hand, are a lot more mean and vicious and won't stop till tears are messing with the makes-up, blood is drawn, and weave is missing. A man will see another man out and they could be beefin over he say-she say and they'll be at the club and they'll either

A) step outside, talk about it and if words don't work,
B) they'll fight

and once they fight, they'l go back to that friendship they had but better. A female could be in the same situation and throw shade the whole night and then two weeks later they'll be dancing to "Doo Doo Brown" together with dudes who are more than likely to follow them around the club the whole night, just as THIRSTY as they wanna be but then next week...won't be messin with each other.

So for those men/women who are uncertain of Girl Code, here you go

*class is in session*

"Girlll, I'm Goin Thru IT!":
Don't ever share your struggle with the next chick, not even ya mama! Ok, I'm joking about your mother, but seriously, don't share your problems with the next chick. “Girlll, let me tell you how bad sh*t is right now: I can't afford this weave, I can't get them heels, I can't keep a man because he don't want nothin to do with me or lil' Javoni. My check came up short and I had to borrow money from that big headed ass n**** A.J. and you know he said yes...but only if I gave him head." I don’t care if you have money issues, health issues, or relationship issues, don’t share your struggle with these chicks. You and Sherri might be cool this month, she may even give you good advice, but one day soon you will be beefing over something stupid and Sherri will tell Nicki n' dem: “You know she be sucking n****s dicks for money when her phone bill due?” or “They found a crabs all in her coochie? It came from fucking all those dirty dudes who be at the club” or “You know her Mother lost her job and be borrowing money from her, bet she on crack again!? Girlll, you know her mama like Keyshia Cole mama now!” Anything you tell your present bestie, know it can be used to slander once she becomes your future enemy. I’ve seen it happen dozens of times.

"Let Me Borrow Money Till Thursday So I Can Fill My Tank Girl":
I don't care if you're White, Black, Asian, Middle Eastern, Latino, or a damn alien...your homegirl will ALWAYS keep a running tab on the money she's lent you. If I pay for my boy to get in the club or buy him dinner, it’s not, “remember you owe me $37.50”that's just that. When a girl does another girl’s hair she’s counting how much grease she used, the oil sheen, and the electricity consumed while that b**** had the blow dryer running. You go out to the club; you can’t get a nigga to buy you that Patron & Pineapples that you need to back ya ass up? “Oh I got you girl” b**** please, best believe your homegirl just added that 9 dollars to her mental note pad. Next time you’re out and its time to pay for something, “ummm, but what about that $103 you owe me tho” The other girl will have no idea how she’s amassed this much debt, she thought her friend was helping her out. And don’t try and get out of paying unless you want to ruin your credit score, it goes Experian, Equifax, TransUnion, and Amber Washington. If you don’t pay up she will go to the sisterhood and ruin your credit with them by saying, “don’t let that b**** hold nuffin girl, she dead ass won't pay you back.” So if you’re on hard times, and need 20 dollars to get in the club, I suggest you make up an excuse as to why you can’t come out. When you put money between two females the friendship will not last.

"Terrance? Yea, His Pipe Game Is Good Girl!":
Females talk about sex, that's a given. I use to think it was cute to be talked about amongst females, "oh Ant, yea girl, he can do some-THANGS with his tongue and girlll, he..." you get the point but these woman today go IN. I once walked into a speaker phone conversation of a girl explaining how some guy’s dick wasn’t that long but it was wide, and how she prefers short thicker ones rather than long skinny ones, I had to walk out of the room because it grossed me out, yet that description stuck with me because it was so traumatizing to hear a girl talk like that. But for a woman it satisfies a curiosity, and plants seeds. If you tell your homegirl how good he is at eating pu$$y or that he went extra and ate your ass, she stores that in her head. You talk about his dick game being the best you’ve had, even the most loyal woman will store that data like a motherf***ing usb drive. You’re sisters, nothing will happen right? #Haaaaa! You told her he made you cum…this girl doesn’t even know what that feels like. Why wouldn’t she want conduct her own test? I’ve had it happen on a few different occasions where the friends of an ex gave me their number. This one girl was my ex’s super best friend, they were like blood sisters. I started talking to her on the phone and I’m like, “so yall don’t hang anymore?” this hoe had the nerve to say, “she was just over here, that’s what reminded me to call you”. I’m a man, I have no obligation to the ex not to f*** her friend, but her friend should have enough respect for her not to go there. I stopped talking to her because I knew what the end result would be between the two of them, but in retrospect I should have smashed and let them deal with it. Don’t kiss and tell.

Three Months:
I know she’s your friend, and you don’t want to end up as “that girl” who picked up the leftovers, but f*** that. If your friend dates a guy for three months or less, you have the right to sign him to a contract. Don’t ask permission because she’ll say, “I was thinking about getting back with him” just to keep you at bay. I suggest giving her a one month period after the breakup to pick up the option on the ex boyfriend. If she doesn’t get back with him in those 30 days or talk about going back to him, then you’re free to do your thing.

"Oooo, Girl, Where You Get That From?":
“That is FLY...where you get that from girl?" I hate hearing that s***. Every time I’m out with one of my homegirls, someone asks her some random question about a bracelet or a blouse. Why do you care? Why would you want to go buy something another girl has? I remember girls used to front back in the day, “I got this from (insert some famous spot)” for some reason when I was younger every girl would lie and say they brought clothes from (insert some famous spot) where in reality they brought it from Aero or Rainbow. Thanks to the internet you can get fly with clothing from Paris, Japan, or even some hand me down shit you found on Craigslist and no biting ass hoe can steal your swag as long as you delete your browser history. Where did you get that? Just say, “Craiglist”.

"Darren, That's My Bro Girl, You Better Keep Him, I Like Him":
A good man is hard to find, so use your three month rule. You know your homegirl has issues, she doesn’t know how to keep a man, and she’ll always go running back to her ex from four years ago. So why not do some pre-gaming of your own? Talk to her current boyfriend, see what he likes, if he’s cool, has a good job. Give him the flirt test to make sure he’s not a cheater. Your homegirl will fill you in on the sex stuff and there you have it, more info than eHarmony could ever give you. Who knows, he may be way more compatible with you than he was with her. By the end of their two month relationship, you can pretend to just find him on Facebook, and then proceed to ask, “so what have you been up to, buddy?”.

Fri-enemy:
You love her, you’ll do anything for her, she’s your motherf***ing girl— I understand. But do me this one favor, in the back of your head; know that any moment she can turn on you. Have you ever seen the Terminator sequels? The T2 has been reprogrammed to be John Connor’s friend and protect him. But Sarah Connor, being the wise woman that she is, warns her son, “He’s still a Machine”. John Connor loves the Terminator, but he has to be prepared for that son of a b**** to go Skynet on him. So while they laugh and say “Hasta La Vista Baby”, John is only seconds away from blowing his f***ing head off. That’s what it’s like to be a girl, you can trust your girlfriend all you want, but as soon as a new girl comes around, a cute guy comes into the picture, or a promotion is up for grabs, she will Terminate your ass using all the information you’ve given her over the years.

So in closing, women all across the world need to establish a set group of laws, so that the friendship can stay intact thru hell and high waters.

*class dismissed*

@renaissnace_brotha