Maintaining The Romance

I used to think romance was important as a teenage; some flowers, a crappy "I love you" poem", some candy, and dinner & a movie and that was it…funny how times change. You get older and realize just how much that plays a part in your relationship and well into your marriage. Sure, taking your significant other out for dinner and a movie is cool…but that can't be the only thing! Nowadays, it's not about being predictable- it's about being creative. It's not about cliche- it's about putting some effort into whatever it is you're doing for that person. I will admit; we as men will do all this romantic and kind sh*t in the beginning and once we get you…that's it.

Well, I'm glad that a good friend of mine hit me up to tackle just that very problem: the lack of romance amongst the sexes. Not only do women feel that men have strayed away from being romantic, but men feel the same as well (crazy, I know). If you feel that you're alone in the struggle to maintain the romance, think again. Below you will find ways of how to maintain the romance within your relationship/marriage from a woman's perspective, as well as a man's. The guest writer here on A Better Breed Of Man goes by the name of MzCottonCandyKiz (all her material can be found here: MzCottonCandyKiz) and you can also follow her on Instagram (@epiccandiz).

Please take note: anything you notice in the red, is what she's saying and anything in the black, is voiced by myself.

*class is in session*

MzCottonCandyKiz: For me, romance is about creating epic and memorable moments that are long lasting! Now, contrary to the thoughts of the “new” females, the true ladies (such as myself) still very much believe in romance. Unfortunately though, it seems that males where more romantic in their teenage years and then once again, in their 40s: so what happens to all of those years in between (20-39), I mean, do the men just stop...being romantic?

Renaissance Brotha: No, men don't just stop being romantic, ma'am! You mean to tell me that between the ages of 20-40 (20-damn-years) men aren't being romantic? Ludicrous! YES, [some] men DO struggle with the idea of being romantic, but then you have plenty others who are making sure to maintain the romance within their relationship/marriage. In my opinion; romance is about being inventive...being spontaneous! And while you feel that men aren't that romantic, my dear, [some] women aren't stepping up to the plate themselves.

MCCK: Okay, okay you're right, but romance for a woman is the act of her significant other going above and beyond to please her and by please her- I don’t mean just physically either!

Babe give me more than the usual!!! (In my Trey Songz voice).

RB: EXACTLY! Romance is about going above and beyond for your partner and making sure they're happy at the expense of doing something nice, just because. If y'all think y'all the only ones who wanna be romanced- think again.

MCCK: I see what you're saying but how about putting some REAL thought and effort into making us smile fellas! This isn’t just any kind of smile; this smile has a glow to it. Her eyes become glassy and she drifts off into another place just for a minute. It's the kinda smile, that makes her tell all her friends how great you are. This smile...makes her have a great day at work no matter what's been going on.

RB: I wanna be the reason you smile (50 Cent voice)

If smiling is your concern, then you have to set the standard ladies! If being romanced is something you enjoy, then make sure that blueprint is laid from jump. We wanna make you happy, we wanna make you smile, I mean, what man wouldn't want that for his lady! In my opinion, it's all about equal treatment in your relationship/marriage not, "babe take me here because it's romantic, babe do this because it's romantic." Plain and simple: romance should be a two-way street.

MCCK: I agree and romance can/should be expressed in many different ways! Romance is going to a new restaurant and saving some so she can taste how great the food was.

RB: Romance for us is about setting the MOOD (because it's not just about the food, it's the mood that helps to set a romantic scene). Instead of going out for dinner, maybe you can shoot him a text,

"hey honey, I wanted to cook dinner tonight, would you like anything special!? Oh, and pick up some flowers on your way home please."

You're direct and to the point! Just making dinner and sitting in front of a TV gets boring, so, spice that s*** up! You dress up, have some music on, candles lit, bottle of wine chilled...after a long day who wouldn't like that kinda treatment (but not all the time). It's not just the act of cooking dinner, it's what comes along with dinner that we find romantical (not a word but you get my point).

MCCK: Romance is getting her flowers but getting them in her favorite color. Or maybe getting a single rose and putting it on the bed, while she’s in the shower just because before you head out. Sending her flowers to her job is also a nice romantic gesture and I mean come on now, what woman wouldn't want a nice bouquet of flowers and or some Edible Arrangements!

RB: Getting flowers or some Edibles from your man...while at work or just because and it's not a day of significance and they're your favorite color…?

I get it, I get it! Some men don't understand the importance of flowers but I do; they help to lively up the soul and all that's around you. On the flip side of that ladies, how about treating you man to game or a concert! Men (hand clap) like (hand clap) that (hand clap) sh** (hand clap)! Some of you reading this could give a f*** about Carmelo Anthony going against LeBron James or going to a football game or going to see his favorite artist, but we as men love to do sh** like that! Same way ya'll was doing all types of crazy sh*t to see On The Run, we enjoy being live in person. Surprise him with some tickets to a game or a show because at the end of the day, not only does it show that you care about him but you care enough to show interest in what he enjoys.

MCCK: Romance is making dinner and having it ready when she gets home from a hard day of work.

RB: I agree 110%! After a long day of work and/or class and/or having to deal with a child, who wants to come home to have to clean AND cook…

Hell, cooking dinner isn't an issue but to that, I say this- can we get a date thooooo! You might be suckin ya teeth right now like, "what is this fool talking about!?" but I'm serious; take your man on a date and PAY FOR IT! Pick the place, make the reservations, make sure you tell him to get dressed accordingly, and when it's time to place the order, ask him what he wants to eat and when the waitress/waiter comes over to take the order, YOU speak! Not only does it show initiative but that sh*t is sexy as f***! Hell, even feed him the dessert and when you get home you feed him you!

MCCK: And some women do that already but can ya'll put a little more thought into the regular ol' "dinner and a movie" kinda date because that's something I can do with my girls! Instead of the usual, find a Groupon or look online get some great date night ideas at a great price; we don't have to spend a bunch of money to enjoy a night out on the town, just as long as we're spending the time together! Sometimes we wanna hear, “hey babe, tonight let’s do something a little different. Put on those jeans I love to see you in, you know...the ones that make your ass stick out and don't take too long because we're going to paint some pottery.”

RB: And that's a great idea outside of the usual "dinner and a movie" because then it forces us to put some actual thought into the date. An act of romance for us tho- showing you appreciate us. Sex is cool, hell, a watch is nice but how about writing an actual letter and...*wait for it*...actually mailing it to him! F*** a text, f*** an email, f*** posting your "love and appreciate" for him on some social networking site: sit your ass down, write out how you feel and what you appreciate most about him. It's thoughtful and it's genuine. It's SHOWS that you care because sometimes...words convey a better message that actions can't.

MCCK: Romance is waiting until she gets out the shower and as she's drying off, you grab the lotion and rub her body down. This isn’t to lead to sex or anything, but just a genuine rub down.

RB: This is something I agree with wholeheartedly because we too, enjoy a good rub down. After the gym- sure. After a long day at work- you bet ya. Beating the guy's ass who was a little too friendly at the restaurant- rub daddy down! All jokes aside tho, I think it's something that both parties can enjoy because there's nothing like a good body rub...caressing all those areas the sun misses...sensually...taking your time...sh** like that is pleasurable. Massage the stress away ladies and gents!

MCCK: Romance is giving her the hoodie that you normally wear that smells like that cologne she loves.

RB: Smelling him when he is not around; cute but if you thought I wouldn't mention sex in this blog...guess again. I know what you're thinking ladies,

"all you gotta do is: play with his thing till it gets hard, suck on it, then get on top and ride him, say some nasty stuff, and then he cums and that's it!"

WRONG!

...to an extent at least. Any woman can do those things but what separates YOU from the others is HOW you do it! Sure, men like the simplicity of oral, followed by intercourse, but [some] of us men enjoy a good build up every now and then; please AND entertain us! Get some lingerie, put on some music, light some candles, steal one of his shirts and put on some heels and earrings, and then...do a dance for him! You dislike that he's goes to the strip club? Be his stripper! You, put, that, p****, on, him! So many of y'all ladies listened to Destiny's Child "Cater 2 U" and didn't cater! Sex and romance are linked because of the connection it builds between the both of you; get closer, creative, and captivate!

*****

Romance is all about doing something nice because you care about the person, not because you feel forced to. No woman should have to force her man to take her out, but also shouldn't rely on the man to be the only one who has to bare the burden of the romance within the relationship/marriage. The idea is to be spontaneous; the element of surprise goes a long way! If she enjoys receiving flowers- send her ass flowers. She enjoys candlelight- eat breakfast by candlelight. Do something SHE enjoys! The idea is to keep the fire burning so you will never ever have to worry about the next man (or woman) doing so! Affection, attention, and some consideration is all she really wants, believe me, but learn when to and when not to. Too much romance and then you create a monster. Too little and you now you have a partner with one foot in and the other one out. Unsure of when to be romantic; take the "odd day/even day" approach: you take odd days and she takes the even days and two even/odd days out of the month, you have to come up with something romantic for the both of ya'll to do. Sounds cheesy, but I guarantee you it will keep things thriving. Don't be afraid to be cheesy but also make sure EFFORT and THOUGHT goes into whatever it is you come up with! Maintain the romance in your love life fellas or…I will some other man (or woman) will. Maintain the romance in your love life ladies…or some other woman (or man) will.

@renaissance_brotha_

Friends With Benefits: An Ugly Truth

Who gives a f*** about commitment! Yup, I said it: who gives a f***, about, com-mit-ment!

Ok I'm joking.

But what ISN'T a joke, is something that's been sweeping the nation (no, not Ebola) for years and probably will continue to do so, for many more years to come...

Friends With Benefits!

*class is in session*

Basically, friends with benefits is an individual that you have sex with...when you're horny in the mood, without the commitment. He/she isn't someone you look at as BF/GF material nor is it a best friend because you don't wanna ruin the friendship, by "screwing" around! You don't do the whole "dating" thing because then there's this sense of, "obligation" that comes along with dealing with that individual outside of having sex. There's no accountability, there's no holding fu**ing hands (only when she's about to orgasm), I mean, none of that is on the table, when you're only using that "table", to have sex on. Your concern isn't about who else that person is f***ing; well, maybe it should be if you and that person are having unprotected sex but I would hope you're practicing safe sex! This, person, is, only, called, upon, for, sex; nothing more, nothing less. Read that one more time and then meet me at the second paragraph.

Things are different these days. Men are different. Women are different. The concept of relationships, friendships, marriage, and everything else are just...different. Being a friend with benefits isn't something that can work because 8/10 someone is bound to catch feelings and someone is more than likely gonna get hurt because 8/10 those feelings aren't reciprocated. A man will tell you,

"I'm not tryna f*** with her bro because I know my d*** and because I know my d***, I know she's gonna catch feelings and I ain't got time for that bro! In and out nah mean."

A woman will tell you,

"I require too much attention to be JUST a friend with benefits because that s*** is just too fake. If I like him and he don't like me or vice versa...I'm not tryna end up on Snapped nor do I wanna be all in my feelings about some d***!"

You might laugh at those above scenarios, but they're true! Think about the movie Friends With Benefits with Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis: where Justin and Mila both agreed to the terms of being "friends with benefits" and how Mila's character begins to develop feelings for Justin as the movie progresses. Yada yada happens and he's like, "nah, no way, f*** outta here, what you mean, we swore on the Bible app that it would only be about the sex, now you're coming at me like this...I don't understand." Well, eventually he found that understanding and realized...she made a better GF than FWB! But in this day-in-age, things are different. Nowadays, [some] men can't handle a woman who can just have sex with them and not get attached. Nowadays, a man's ego can't handle when a woman says, "that was good...*phew*...so what you about to do?" Nowadays, men can't handle...when the roles are reversed.

I will always and forever be about "male empowerment" and respecting the guy code but certain things make my balls itch! When I see men in skinny jeans/leggings or jeggings/tights or any other tight ass clothing- my balls itch. When men call women sluts/bit**es/hoes/whores/thots for having multiple sexual partners but then brag about being a side dude- my balls itch. When dudes manipulate women to the POINT, of no return and f*** them up and send them back into the world for the rest of us to have to deal with- my balls itch! You hear that fellas:

MY (hand clap) BALLS (hand clap) ITCH (hand clap, hand clap).

A lot of you so called real n****/men/boys/bosses/kings: whether Black, Asian, Latino, White, whatever, are real lame! A woman who is in control of her sexuality is a threat to a man, why? Because she understands who she is as a woman and who she is in the face of society. SOME might care what society thinks of her but a REAL woman will be like, "society don't pay my bills so society can eat peanut butter and jelly out my ass!". The moment she agrees to being your f*** buddy you think, "yes, gotcha bit**! I'm bout to have you doing all the sh** a GF would do and all I gotta do is send some text messages here and there give you the D when you in the mood!" The problem lies is when she agrees to it being strictly physical...and doesn't get attached. She'll take the text messages- but she has a bunch of other dudes doing the same sh** you doing. She doesn't need you to keep her warm at night- she got somebody else for that. You wanna start going back on that agreement of it being only about sex- she got other dudes willing to eat her vagina fresh off the toilet without knowing if she wiped or not! You can't control her like you want to and that grinds yo motherf***in gears!!! 

All the things y'all agreed upon, she adheres to and that f***s you up because you thought the "ball was in your court" to only find out she's not up for playing a game of one on one. She might like ya pics, but that about it/might suck ya d***, but that about it- and deep down inside it gets to you; I get it. Most men can't handle not being in control because it makes them feel like LESS of a man! She can arrange for y'all to have sex and after the deed is done get on some, "well, it was fun, but I'm outta here (deuces)" type shit and that's something MOST men can't phantom! It's common that you hear of a woman who catches feelings and usually breaks it off with a guy because he doesn't feel the same as her but for a woman to do that sh*t is like Kobe averaging assist like Chris Paul; it's unheard of!

I can sit here and say, "oh, I would never catch feelings yada yada yada," and then get the p**** put on me so damn good that I wouldn't know WHAT to do with myself! What you DON'T want is me outside ya damn place; watching you through the window, waiting till you fall asleep! We as men have to realize that we can't/wont be in control of every situation. Some women just like having sex and that's that! I've learned a long time ago that a woman will be demeaned and degraded because of her want/need for sex and nothing more. I hate double standards! Society tells you as a woman, "be free, be independent, be you...but if you're out here f**king multiple men you're a hoe!". That same society turns around and tells us as men, "f*** all the women you want, hell, if you don't wanna use a condom, that's ok too!". Bull AND shit! Men want these FWB and the moment they can't manipulate and mold them to their liking there's a problem. Y'all blockheaded ass goofballs be f***in it up for all the other guys, because y'all want these ladies to feel bad about the SAME sh** y'all want; sex! Friends with benefits will never be a concept that fully works because no matter what gets said/doesn't get said, no matter what gets done/doesn't get done...someone will catch feelings and be left to play the bad guy! Women are capable of catching feelings and side stepping yours...just depends on the breed of woman. If you can't handle the maturity that comes along with FWB...beat ya di** till you find someone to beat it for you!

Any questions, comments, or maybe you're seeking advice or any concerns or even feedback- hit me up @ brotharenaissance@gmail.com

@renaissance_brotha_

You Shouldn't Aspire To Be Just...

*names have been changed to protect the innocent*

Friend: don't you HATE when a b**** brag about a n**** that ain't hers?"

Me: yea, but, that's the way of the world I guess

Friend: ugh, I hate that you're so nonchalant Anthony...but this bi*** Kira is sleeping with ol boy.

Me: Hamilton?

Friend: ...

Friend: how did you know that?

Me: she told me

Friend: and you're not mad? What happened if some f***ed your GF?! All that writing you do, you should do a blog on bi*** who ain't s*** and who f*** other girl's men

I know one day I will have a daughter and I will have to explain to her that having a BF is hard work and you should never advise him to "choke and stroke" you during sex because that will only lead to him potentially choking you in real life! I say that to say this: I hope my daughter(s) never aspire to be on reality TV, dating a rapper, who can only read at a 4th grade level and who gets so high, that he can barely park his spaceship (I'm pretty sure I'll have a child by the time those are invented). So, to my future wife (if you're reading this) this piece is for you!

I pray to lil baby Jesus that my daughter never has to go thru what I see so many women go thru today! So, here's on my piece on "labels" or "titles" a woman should NEVER want to aspire to be in life...

*class is in session*

A "baby mama":

Sometimes, things don't work out between you and the father of your child(ren) and for that...I understand. I won't sit here and judge, criticize, talk down on, nor will I ridicule any woman who is currently going thru that type of relationship/situation, but, the REST of you?! Nah! [some] Of y'all ladies are content with being JUST a baby mama to a man who won't commit to anything MORE than eating your vagina when you're angry and picking you up from the gym so that creepy guy won't hit on you anymore. He says,

"I like what we have babe...you got my child, so I ain't going nowhere, (insert forehead kiss) I love you!"

But you know, like I know, like we all know...he full of it!

The fear of being a single mother is a very daunting one, I get it, but I don't get why so many women allow a man to just give them children and not a ring! If all you're getting is pregnant on top of spoon fed bullsh*t on top of excuses on WHY he won't make you a mother AND wife, well, what does that say about you and, what do you then tell your child(ren)? There are too many baby mommas and not enough wives and I'm not saying pressure him because he'll either A) leave B) cheat C) keep giving you the run around. What I am SAYING is: want (hand clap) more (hand clap) for (hand clap) yourself (hand clap, hand clap).

A "career GF":

"Our kids would look so good together...I always wanted a house out in the suburbs...where you wanna have wedding at (insert crazy laugh)...I'm just joking...where's this waitress at?!"

If a chick is talking about weddings and babies and y'all JUST started dating; run! [some] Women are content with being a girlfriend who has all these plans for the future...with a guy she's JUST met! You hardly know his whole damn name and already looking to settle down; relax, he ain't going nowhere. If she says, "men usually don't know what they want and that's why I'm single," and then turns around and says, "...I was thinking long term...and they weren't," and THEN, goes on to say, "but I can see myself being with you tho...forever," and y'all have only been dating for about a month? Exit stage left! The goal is to build and get to know the guy not speak on what hasn't been built with someone you hardly know...where's the logic in that! You see yourself as being a wife...one day, but you're scaring men off to the idea of actually being your man!

A "some day" GF:

If you ask your man, "when are you gonna wife me up," or whoever you contextualize it and he responds like...

hell if I know

or he'll say, "I like what we have (kiss) I just don't, wanna mess things up with a title and then we start arguing..."

7/10 he doesn't see a future with you. Before you gave him the pus** he said, "let's not rush things and see where we end up," and then you gave him the kitty and now he's dancing around your questions better than Justin Timberlake when he was in Backstreet Boys *NSYNC! Lil orphan Annie thought the sun would come out tomorrow, hell, she was hanging on to the fact that the sun was gonna bring it's ol' bright ass out and guess what...we still don't know if it did or didn't. See, Annie had hope, but she wasn't getting di** from Christopher with the green eyes and milk chocolate skin; you are! And no matter how much he dances around the question and into your vagina, the more you allow him or any other man to do the same...you'll forever be a "some day" kinda woman. 

A "side piece":

I laugh at women...

(and apologies to those who this might offend)

I laugh at women who pride themselves in, idk, thinking it's some sort of accomplishment by fu**ing another woman's man like karma doesn't exist. How could you ever fix your lips to ask a man to take you serious, when you take pride in laying down with another's woman's man?! How can you pray to God/Allah/King James or whomever you pray to, to send you a man, when you're not fit, to be a man's one and only option?! Sure, he's content with sexing you down, why? Because after he's done fu**ing you, he goes home, and more than likely tosses his penis into his GF/wife's mouth and they go to bed happy. You on the other hand go to bed lonely as f*** watching old episodes of Law & Order, scrolling thru Instagram, tappin twice n'sh*t! Your ego is the only thing that wins here! You say, "girl, I don't about his bi*** because CLEARLY he don't, so why should I?! He's f**king me AND her and tells me he loves me...I ain't worried bout nothing!" and then you wonder why you can't keep a man! You seen what happened to Sanaa Lathan in that Tyler Perry movie "The Family That Preys," when she thought that the husband was gonna leave the wife for her ass...yea, exactly; ain't happenin captain!

A"booty call":

He calls you and because the d*** is good or because you're lonely or because the dude you're currently talking to is playing more games than an arcade...you head on over to his place; you're a booty call. He took you to that semi nice restaurant and a couple times to them corny ass chain restaurants, for them decent drinks and mediocre ass, warm ass food and that did it for you...bit** kill yourself.

If he never hits you up to go out anymore- you're a booty call.

If he only ask you to come over to chill or ask to come over- you're a booty call.

If the text he sends, always begin after 11 pm- you're a booty call.

The only things open late nights are drive thrus, hole in the wall clubs, strip clubs, and your legs. This man doesn't see a relationship with you, no kinda commitment, no kinda nothing! Sure, he has good sex...but what else does he offer.

*****

I pray my daughter never has aspirations to be anything less than a Queen. I know there was some humorous moments in this blog, but I know sooo many women who are happy with just being: the baby mom, who gets a child support check or the side piece who looks for happiness in the arms of a married man. Why not want more for yourself ladies...why not demand more from these men! You have a choice, you have leverage, you are Queens- Black, White, Latino, Asian, whatever, YOU, are a Queen! It doesn't take a blog to know that or a stupid ass post or tweet to confirm that! How could you be content with knowing that a man only sees you as JUST sex?! There are too many women giving passes and letting excuses run wild and not enough women who stand up and CHECK these men on their sh*t! I want to see you ladies happy...and I'm not talking happy with the new bag bae got you or the heels he got you or the once of month date he takes you on, where 60% of the time, ya'll are on the phone! DEMAND MORE! One day you'll look in the mirror and realize that being a man's wife, a man's life partner...is a lot better than being his cinnamon apple with good pussy, with a college degree, and decent credit!

*class is dismissed*

@renaissance_brotha_

Like a Broke Car, Bro...You're Pushing It

*I know this will get read and I hope it gets read and that it lights a fire under the ass of those who do this: ladies, stop mentioning to men, that WE have all these other f***ing women after us and yada yada yada because it's unattractive and it makes you look weak as a woman! I put it in a blog because if I text, Tango, Skype, email, KiK, SnapChat, Vine, Instagram DM, Tweet, FB post it 8/10 all you'll do is like and/or reference it back in the midst of a convo...STOP DOING THAT SH*T! No man mans to hear it! Ok, women comment and like things upon social media...that's the point! You think you're being funny but the moment a man feels offended then it's, "I need a man that's not a p***y of a God fearing solider," or some tom-foolery like that. Be mindful of how you converse with a man but more importantly how you come across as a woman because you will be blessed with someone exactly like you and if you think that ish is attractive or that it validates something...it doesn't. Cut the sh*t ladies, period.*

**********

Men cheat but women, women?!?! Women CHEAT! I'm not here to bash women or anything like that because I do feel (some) women have their reasons for cheating and this is what this entire blog is about:

reasons why she cheated.

I'm not saying cheating is right, just like I don't agree with Mona Scott producing more Love & Hip Hops but, that's neither here nor there. Sometimes the relationship isn't going too smoothly and she's tired of explaining things to you that you should be understanding after the 1000th time or maybe because you thought it was a good idea to step outside of ya'll commitment and sleep with the heffa Jennifer, you know, the one she's no longer friends with. Whatever the reason is, she's cheated, now what? If you're a typical man, you won't be able to stomach the fact that she's stepped out on you and if you're a typical man, you probably aren't reading this but, to the ones that are,

grab a seat, get comfy...

*class is in session*

1. Not The Man She Fell In Love With:

You remember getting her flowers because it was the nice thing to do or telling her to get dressed to go out to eat because she didn't feel like cooking or massaging her feet after she's had a long day at work...you might not, but she does. You were romantic! I'm talking: Gerald Levert, Keith Sweat, Joe (R&B music in the 90s) kinda romantic but now...you're like The Weeknd,

"can you let me stretch that pu*** out or nah/I'm not the type to call you back tomorrow..."

and while all that will get the vagina wet, if said properly, she's not that interested, why? Because you've changed. Who knows why or what has happened to you but unless that got communicated to her...you messed up bruh. When she goes from voicing her issues on why you don't do what you used to do to not giving a f***, just know she has begun to move on and more than likely she's moved on top of another man (or woman)...but that's none of my business.

2. You're Boring:

You've (hands clap) gotten (hands clap) too damn (hands clap) com-fort-able (hands clap)!

When you've become a robot or a "yes man" I can almost guarantee things will take a turn for the worst. She wants to have sex some place spontaneous- you wanna f*** her on the couch or the bed like always. She wants ya'll to cook together- you wanna go to out to eat or order in. She wants to try something new and you- "I don't know babe, that sounds like it's going to be boring!" YOU'RE boring and I'm talking:

watching paint dry while listening to Ice JJ Fish sing opera music BORING!

All that "naggin" she's doing isn't because she actually wants to...it's because she's tryna convey to you why she's upset and why she misses the way things USED to be! You've gotten all comfortable with the idea that you've got her, well, I hope you get comfortable with the idea that another man will have her like you had her...but that's none of my business.

3. Your Insecurities Are To Blame:

You know what's worse than seeing Flavor Flav and Momma Dee on tape having sex?

A man who is too damn insecure! The same way we as men tend to not wanna deal with women who bring too many insecurities into a relationship...is the same way women tend to get tired of men who use their insecurities as a crutch within the relationship. A real woman won't leave you because you're making less than her- she'll leave you because you aren't motivated to do more or want more. You complain about you being short- she doesn't. You've gained some weight- she tells you she'll go to the gym with you if you want but you're reluctant to do so. Your insecurities as a man has the ability to push her away into the arms of another man...but that's none of my business.

4. Relationship Sabotage:

We as men would like to believe that we're these, pitbull like kinda men and we're stone cold when it comes to dealing with matters of the heart but that isn't the case; we're vulnerable. We can play with a chick's heart and mind but the very moment she turns the tables around... 

THIS bitch!

Honestly, some of us are only filling a void and what's worse about that little piece of info is that a female will keep you around till she's done with you. Oh, you thought we were the only ones to do such trickery? Ha! She will cheat and make sure you find all kinds of pieces to the puzzle so YOU can be left with the dreadful decision: should I stay or should I go... 

Women sabotage on a different level of men and cheat far greater as well. Who lets you go thru their phone knowing evidence is all thru it and leaves the room long enough for you to snoop...but that's none of my business.

5. Karma Is A Bitch:

You remember how you f**ked whatsherface and got caught and thought karma wouldn't catch up to ya, well, it did...and karma is the white dude from her job, who always brings her those snacks she likes with beard that smells like lavender and the penis made of gold! I am no longer a fan of "revengeful cheating" only because I did it and it cost me the love of my life but you have to think about this:

why did you cheat in the FIRST place!?

She might act like it's no big deal...ok, I'm lying, she cares, but it's the fact that you didn't tell her and she found out or it's because you told her and your reasoning sucks! A woman will cheat back on you whether it's physically or emotionally and that sh** wil hurt you...

physically AND emotionally...but that's none of my business.

6. What You Won't Do...:

When you don't make her feel beautiful- another man will. It's simple, I know, but when I tell you that women look towards their man to be their biggest motivator and supporter; bruh! F*** all that, "WCW" ah ah ah, social media validation sh*t because your pops ain't have Instagram and guess what? He and your mom worked out just fine! YOU have to tell her she's beautiful! YOU have to let her know that you appreciate her and the things she does for you and the relationship! YOU have to support her when she needs it most! It's either you do it or have a brotha like me taking her out to bowl n'sh*t...but that's none of my business.

7. She Wasn't Sh*t To Begin With:

Some of these women ain't sh**

and we as men are to blame but

the rest that haven't been tainted or hurt...ain't sh**!

Someone women aren't designed to be in relationships because the idea seems, idk, foreign. The funny thing is, we'll do everything in our powers to convince her that we are just the right kinda man to change her mind, and when she obliges...she treats you like a Meg from Family Guy. When you force a relationship upon a woman who enjoys coming and going as she pleases and for whatever reason you feel that you can change that, I'm sorry but you will get hurt and cheated on...but that is my business...

Why?

Because cheating is f***ing awful! Women cheat fellas and we are partly the reason. Maybe her insecurities lead her to "throw her ass in a circle" on ol dude that drives the BMW or maybe it's the fact that you don't pay enough attention to her. Ladies, I love y'all and I always will but what happens when you have a man that spoils you, is loyal, gives you sex so good that you hug his mama extra tight every time you see her even tho you hate her ass? I would like to believe that men are part of the reason to you cheating but I also know that some women entertain another man and will begin to fall for his ass. If the dude you re with is boring, please let his ass know. If the dude you re with penis looks like a 6th grader's pinky and it doesn't satisfy you but you love him, let him know that. Take responsibility and stop allowing outside options and actions dictate how you go about your duties as a woman. If you are that weak, that you can bring yourself to cheat, that you've lost the ability to talk and make things work or just, idk, leave...that isn't my business...it's yours.

*class dismissed*

@renaissance_brotha_

Back-SEAT, Windows UP pt. 2

*class is in session*

"I'll take the lobster mac n cheese to go and...the head for dessert":

...because there's something sexy about watching a woman eat certain types foods or maybe that's just the freak in me. You ever been out on a date and all to can think about is, "damn...what if I cleared this table RIGHT now and gave her the b

usiness?" or "damn...what if i dropped my fork RIGHT now and went under the table and gave that d*** the business?"

Ok, so maybe you never thought to do that but I'm almost certain the thought to, I don't know...sneak off to the bathroom for a quickie has crossed your mind maybe once or twice? Something like this can only truly be done when on a double date or with just a lot more people than the two of you. It's summer, weather is good, you put on a dress and lets say you decide to not wear panties; you're already ahead of the game! Fellas, slide off to the bathroom, text her, "coast is clear, come get the part of the tip the waitress can't!"

And if you're gonna skip out on the check...have sex before, not after.

tombstone lovin:
The following might be a lil disrespectful and all I'll say is I apologize but...

If you're horny, crazy, and adventurous like myself...you will sneak away to a cemetery and have sex around a bunch of dead folks. Don't hit me with the, "omg, you are insane...I would never..." because a lot of you who've had sex, done sucked and f***ed in some places the law wouldn't allow or Jesus probably raised his eyebrow to! They're dead, you ain't, so, live ya life (ay ay ay)/don't concentrate on the tombstones, just squeeze'em tight.

Ok, so I'm corny and slightly joking but if you want a real rush: hit the cemetery for your next orgasm.

goalpost d*** down:
In every town there's a high school that has a football field or just a big ass field with grass, that is usually used to play some sport on, which could also be used to have sex on! In high school (or college), many of us had some form of sex behind a stairway, old classroom, library, locker room, I mean, that list goes on, but not many have had the pleasure of getting some ass...ON...the grass! Throw caution to the wind and take a trip to a local high school and just, go for it! Have sex in the middle of the field, have sex against the goalpost, have sex in the stands, why don't ya! Sex will always be fun in places that were off limits as a teen and the field is one of them.

"I'm sorry ladies and gentleman, I don't mean to bother ya'll...":

If you're from New York...you've heard that before on a train...

If you're from New York or maybe you've been here to visit, then you know of our hectic ass subway system. Here, we have plenty of trains that can take you were you wanna go, that run at all hours of the morning and night. If you are looking for a good rush for the summer; train sex is a great adventure! Always go for a cart that is either in the front or all the way in the back. Never and I mean never not keep your eyes peeled open for homeless folks, crazy ass teenagers, folks who are either coming from work or going to work or going home or coming from home, and more importantly, the cops! This would be the time for a quickie or hell, even a lil oral action! Hold on to that pole ladies as he subway surfs inside of you! Hold your lady up fellas, as she dangles from the bar like she's Mimi...but better looking! If all of this doesn't interest you...just let her ride, as you ride...save the missionary for...

"after hours project" - Dr. Evil voice:
THE COPY MACHINE!

See what I did there? I digress...

Work place sex is always good because if you have that one co worker that you hate, you can always have sex right there on their desk and let them sit in your ass juices the next morning. Boss says you need to finish up on a project? Great! Work on the project, while she works on that d*** under your desk! Boss gives you the green light to catch up on some work because you were on vacation last week? Awesome! Give her head on the copy machine and make her call you by your last name as you stroke her in the kitchen area! The supply closet, the utility closet, the janitor's closet, hell, your boss (or company) doesn't have cameras all over the place...have sex in the boss office! Could you imagine being deep inside of her and your boss comes off the elevator and she's screaming your name...bruh!

"stuck" in the elevator:
You're on vacation...elevator sex on the last night! Forgetabout the cameras that will be watching; give'em a show! You go down on him...he goes down on you..foot on his shoulder...rubbin his face all in it...lookin down at him...back up at the camera...back down at him...bite your lip a lil...bend her over...grip her by the waist...fu** it, moan if it's good (women love that sh*t)...just make sure...you not in the p**** making love bruh. You know how sexy it is to finish up and how funny is to be walking off the elevator and someone is coming on and the whole damn thing smells like sex...bruh!

parents trap':

I'm totally for having sex in the parents bedroom, why? Because 9/10 the parents aren't doing Ray J and Kim K sh** in there to begin with! I'm putting the pillow that pops put his head on every night right under her lower back, so I can have that p**** in the air just so I can taste it better and...hit that g-spot a lil better. Ride me till you cum and do it again on the side of the bed that your mom sleeps on. Grip them sheets as I enter you from the back and slap ya ass so hard that it echoes throughout the room. As kids, we slept in our parents bed and got mad when they kicked us out but what mommy don't know, won't hurt her. F*** it, film that sh**! What do you have to lose by filming it? Not (claps hands) a (claps hands) thinggg (claps hands, claps hands)! I'm not saying do this with a dude you've just met, hell, not even your partner of 1 year, but whatever you do...make sure you make that person do some ish that they wouldn't want anybody in the world to see.

Like eating that ass like a waffle cone from Mr. Softee.

Pleaseeee, be mindful of your height and weight restriction before you consider sex in any damn place! Use condoms! I didn't mention a place like the plane because I have a phobia of heights and my ass ain't never seen a plane, let alone been on one! If you're adventurous, try hitting a fair or amusement part and have sex somewhere around there. Wherever you decide to get freaky...keep them eyes and ears open because getting caught eating pu*** in Central Park after work...never mind.

@Renaissance_Brotha_

Back-SEAT, Windows UP

It's been a lil' minute since I've written a blog about sex, so, I figured, with summer coming to an end...let's talk about sex ba-by!

I love sex...especially in different places, example:
you go out on a nice date, you guys are conversing and you start kissing, "ooo gimmie that face, let me kiss it," all that silly sh*t and now she's like, "babeee, let's get back home already I'm wet!" Why wait to get home to make her touch her toes when you can hit an alley and throw her that di** that'll have her screaming louder than Meek Mill on a track (Free Meek)! I mean, if two dogs can enjoy a nice pasta dinner in an alley...you can serve her di** harder than Papa John's crust!

The point I'm making is; be spontaneous! Spice up that relationship/marriage! Sure, the cops are out here buggin or ya'll been bored the entire summer and yada yada yada but guess what? Sex cures all! Ok, I'm joking, but, having sex in different places is a better alternative than having sex in the living room; that's for sure.

I won't bore you any longer...

*class is in session*

"nah...pull over right there":

you ever got head while driving tho? im not talkin real fast, im talkin kinda slow...

BARS *Kevin Hart voice*

Whether it be oral or just plain ol' sweaty, hot, nasty sex in the car: sex in the car is a great thing! Some might argue that it brings bad luck upon the car, but how many of ya'll done had some form of sex in the car on Tuesday and two weeks later...the brakes gave out? Exactly, NEVER!

Ladies: rub on his penis while he's driving and just start talking crazy to him,

"say I won't put all that d*** in my mouth right now while you at the light!?"

or

"pull my d*** out babe...let me kiss it"

I guarantee YOU...he will whip his penis out faster than a chick with an EBT card at the supermarket from her Gucci bag!

Fellas: ya'll on the way home from a date, forget all that, "wait till I get you in the house" ish...handle her ass in the car!

"ah, babe...pull over right there...yea, right there...don't worry, don't worry"

or
"babe...babe...look...*rubbing penis ever so gently*"

That's right fellas, you or her should park up somewhere and climb in the backseat and get right into it! Fog them windows up! Have her ride you reverse cowgirl while you grip the back of her neck and whisper some nasty stuff in her ear! Give her backshots while she's grippin the dashboard, hell, have her lay out ON the dashboard and go ahead and get you a mouthful of her...you get the point. Just make sure you watch out for people and the cops...an orgasm one minute and Miranda Rights the next," don't mix!

public places:

You want an adrenaline rush? Have sex in a public place! Nothing says, "that was a great date," or "I love you" more than sex in the park! Forget all that, "oh babe, but, the bums sleep here," bs and sit her ass down that bench and treat right! Throw her legs in the air, lick on the clit and finger her at the same damn time! Not a fan of that bench? Have sex on the grass: missionary or let her ride you. Not cool with the park idea? Cool, hit a rooftop and enjoy the summer breeze and some sex your mother would be disappointed about you having! Hit a park...and enjoy natures first ever "sex swing". If you're up for a real challenge: hang from the monkey bars and have your partner give you oral and see how long you can last...whoever last longer...cooks dinner for a week! You ever had your woman's legs rested upon your shoulders while you suck on them lips!? Bruh! Just make sure you keep an eye out for the cops..."baby I'm cummin" one minute and "FREEZE," the next, don't mix!

"marco...marco...marco...G-SPOT!":

As kids, pools were always fun for playing basketball, seeing who could swim the fastest, hosting parties/BBQs, but as an adult...it's only good for skinny dippin' and having sex! Yup, you read right: s-e-x! If you don't have a pool of your own, that's cool, hit a public pool or drive to an area that might have one, you know, one those nice neighborhoods with the big driveways and green ass grass. Throw ambition to the wind and give him head under water! Not cool with that idea because you're afraid to get your hair wet: sit his ass on the edge of the pool, while you're still emerged and pretend his penis is a microphone and you're auditioning for America's Got Deep Throaters! Maybe you're not a fan of the pool idea, ok, cool...maybe a hot tub/Jacuzzi will work better. Have him sit down on the first few steps, straddle him, place your hands on his shoulders, and you ride him! Or, you lounge back and have him enter you and stroke you till his legs give out! Just make sure you keep an eye for the cops...looking back at your ass, as it makes waves one minute and "...do you guys live here?" while the cuffs dangle the next, don't mix.

give the neighbors a show:
I'm a huge fan of balcony sex because there's something about the freedom of knowing someone might be watching and allowing your partner to moan and scream as loud as they want; ahhh! Doggystyle while over looking a great view? Priceless! Whenever you go on vacation and your hotel or wherever you stay at has a balcony, I suggest sex happens. Receiving head while that annoying ass neighbor, that always keeps their blinds open, who decides to finally look over and takes notice to what you're doing? Priceless! Screaming so loud that you wake up the neighbors or your roommates (ha...sigh)? Priceless! Ladies...put on some heels and do a lil dance for him before you throw that ass back on him! Fellas...smack her ass, grip her by the waist, grab her by the shoulders and thrust harder, pull on her hair and play with her breast! The objection of balcony sex is to enjoy the view, be as loud as you want to while you're enjoying each other...not to be on some timid sh*t!  Just make sure you keep an ear out for the cops...your neighbors will call'em quick fast, because you re the one gettin ass.

"let me suck that d*** and see how many you can get done babe": 

I'm talking...sittin her on top of the counter and taking a step back, biting your bottom lip right before you place your face between her thighs. I'm talking...you giving him sloppy top (head, oral) while he's washing dishes and seeing how many he can wash before he cums. I'm talking...ignoring that pasta sauce and riding him in the chair while that sh** bubbles over. I'm talking..."let's go out to dinner babe," one minute and, "take them panties off and climb up on that table and let get a taste..." the next. I'm talking...69'in on the floor! You ever had sex for so long the damn steak got over cooked? You ever listen to the sound of them moaning so loud, that you forget that the water has been on for over 40 minutes!? Whatever you decide to do, just make sure you clean up after...because pubic hair and a bowl of cereal, don't mix.

fitting room action:

Maybe its the risk seeker in me but there's something sexy about sneaking into a dressing room and enjoying a quickie. This isn't the time to be making love or, "oh, I just wanna enjoy it, take it easy," kinda sex...this is that, "put these panties in your mouth babe and fuck me like you hate me before we get caught!" kinda action. F*** I look like, Michael Jackson Moonwalking in the pu***...I'm tryna Bobby Shmurda Shmoney Dance these strokes, bang-bang, and then boogie back into my dressing room before that annoying ass sales associate comes to double check on me. Go for a large department store, not those corny H&M kinda places where they rush you out of the dressing room because everybody is either A) tryna steal some sh** or B) trying on some sh*t they aren't even gonna buy after walking around for the next few minutes. There's no cameras and, if you get one with a mirror?! #Winning! Just make sure you keep your eyes and ears open...cops will break that sex session up quicker than the St. Louis riots!

..too soon?

Saving Ryan's Privates:

Mannn, who gives a damn about going to the movies and seeing ol' boring ass Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles after you JUST took your lil brother; not a damn soul! Movie theater sex is always good because you can go at certain times, to see a movie that 9/10 not a soul will be watching! Mid afternoon...who in their right mind is going to see Lucy? No one! Go for the back or mid section if you get caught so you can make a quick dash to the exit or head to the top so you can a lil more privacy from that annoying ass usher who wanna decides to finally do his job. Get a big ass thing of popcorn (yes, a LARGE *he/she got moneeeey*) and make a penis hole big enough for you to, you know, give a nice lil hand job or...maybe some head, depending on how you're feeling. Try to see if you can sneak into the projection room or the steps, this way, if usher "They Don't Pay Me Enough" puts his flashlight on you or blows his whistle...you can run for it, run for it, RUN! Just make sure you keep an eye out for an usher because he will more than likely be with a cop and, well...these cops ain't f***in around outchea!

If you wanted more, don't worry...part 2 drops tomorrow!

@Renaissance_Brotha_

Chivalry...You Know, The Sh*t Ya'll Call Thirsty

For those who don't know just quite what chivalry is or even what the word thirsty means...let me explain:

Thirsty is a slang term that describes the actions of a person who is overly persistent, too eager, or even desperate.

Example:

Boy: "aye...miss...aye...miss lady bit**!...yea, YOU...you look good...let me get ya number?!"

Girl: "uh-uh, you rude as f*** tho! I got a man anyways!"

Boy: "And?!?! He ain't here to be ya BF, so waddup!"

Girl: "boy bye"

Chivalry comes from back in the days, you know, when we had knights and lords, queens and sh*t like that, and it was a system of values that knights HAD to follow (think Game Of Thrones time period). Nowadays, it's a reference to how a man is suppose to act towards a woman:

• holding the door, so that she may enter before him (so he can take a look at that ass)
• holding her chair before he sits down at the table (so he can take a look at that ass)
• wearing a condom, so they can enjoy a night of lust and passion...

ok, so that last one was a joke...but I digress

We often hear, “chivalry is dead!” but that’s not the case. You know what happened...men continued to do the same things to/for women and somewhere along the lines, some men began to go a little overboard with it, thus, creating the term thirsty. It started with opening the car door so she can get in...to opening the zipper to his pants and letting his penis out. It went from, being friendly on social networking sites...to stalking on social networking sites! Some dudes weren't taught the art of chivalry- I get it; I wasn't taught how to cook but I picked the skill up along the way as I got older. If anything, I'm here to help both men AND women with this whole chivalry thing. So grab a seat, something cool to drink, relax because...

*class is in session*

1. "check please":

Paying for dates is a major damn deal! I’ll even go as far as to say that THIS right here is a major deal breaker for (some) women, why? Because if you're interested in getting to know her and you ask her out on a date and the bill comes and you look at her like, "so, you got this right?" Don't be mad if she tosses the water in your face! Unless otherwise stated: you (claps hands) are (claps hands) suppose (class hands) to pay (claps hands) for (claps hands) the date (claps hands, claps hands)! I don’t care if you work retail, a nursing assistant (I know a couple men who are nursing assistants), slangin' McChickens at Mickey Ds, cleaning tables at Ruby Tuesdays, a recent college grad, living at home with your mama, or you drug dealing…them first few initial dates, make sure the only time she go inside her bag is for her phone, I.D. and or the gloss for her lips! Depending on where the dates are, you pay, unless you really ain't got it like that then you can always go dutch (split the bill in half). If she's real about hers, she will understand, but that also means that you date within your means. I will get more into this in the next blog: "She Will Have The Lobster...And I Will Have The Head To Go".

2. "oh, let me get that for ya":

You dudes that don’t hold doors for chicks are stupid! I know some of you hate holding the door for her and then mad other people come right after and either don't say thank you or step all over your shoes but if that is the case: hold the door for her and like the next two people and then just walk the f*** in...ain't nobody got time for that! Any woman that is coming near a door and her and I are approaching that SAME door, but I'm there before her, not only is it common courtesy but it’s the RIGHT thing to do. Now with that being said ladies, if you are at the door before me and you wait for me to open it for you...we both waiting; serious as cancer. Case and point here fellas: if you find yourself at the door before her, just open it...and look at her ass as it walks out; win-win.

3. curb side service:

I do this a lot and usually get looked at like, "ummm...ok?" When you're out and about, it's customary for the woman to walk on the INSIDE, why? Because say a car jumps the curb...you wanna make sure your body is there to catch that car, like the Incredible Hulk (joking). But the point of you walking curb side is to protect her from any danger or hazardous sh*t like a biker, a criminal, a bullet, or maybe even your crazy ex who secretly follows you on Instagram and knows that once you take her to the Thai spot up the block from your house that serves the good drinks, more 9/10 you're taking her home t...you get the point. Nothing says, "OMG, you saved my life from that vicious thug like," "OMG, don't just put the tip in, put the WHOLE thing in me NOW!"

4. "here, you can sit here":

If you're on a train or bus and its crowded and you just so happen to be sitting down…please and I mean, PLEASE offer your seat to that lady that’s standing. Do this for pregnant women, senior citizens, women with babies, etc. Do this even when you're on a date! When I tell you karma works in the weirdest ways, bruh, you never know what that seat can possibly lead to. Word to mommy: gave up my seat on my way to work for this lady with her 4 kids (no lie) at like, 8 in the morning, she was so thankful, when I got into work they had breakfast catered AND lunch! (claps hands) Dead (claps hands) ASS, walked into the staff kitchen like...

4. "she will have the...":

Unless she’s undecided, allow her to order her meal first. If you really want some cool points, you’ll ask her what she’s eating and then proceed to order it for her. Also, if you’re at bar, sitting at a table or whatever, be a gentleman and get yo ass up and get the drinks, unless there’s table service.

5. "...that ass tho...":

Now I know some of you dudes are just THAT eager to sit down and order and spark up a convo but before you do that, do this: PULL OUT THE CHAIR FOR HER! Show her you're a gentleman and not only be nice, but earn some cool points as well. Learn from Obama...check her ass out on the way down *wink*. Also, speaking of seating , whenever you're taking seats at the movies, church, restaurant, or even a concert, the woman is supposed to precede you into the row of seats. So next time ya’ll getting lead to ya’ll seats at IHOP(my favorite place to eat) make sure SHE precedes YOU, this way you can be like...

6. "oh, hey, you're cold?":

If she’s cold, offer your: coat, sweater, cardigan…so she doesn't get hard nipples and feels embarrassed. (I know its summer but if you're by the water or something or a place where its cold, this comes in handy). She hits you wit the, "babe, I'm cold," you can just be like...

7. make an impression:

When you're at the nail salon, just waiting around, offer to help out after she gets her nails/toes done! Not only will she appreciate it but the girls in the salon will as well. They pay good money to look nice, so be nice and offer a helping hand. Hold her bag for her, open her Snapple, hell, feed her lol, point is: be a helping hand. Things like this show you appreciate her outside in front of others...simple things matter most fellas.

8. "wipe me down":

Sex happens, right? Right! Now, w/ that being said, if ya’ll in the heat of the moment and she WANTS you to… “relieve yourself on her” or she's a squitter…make sure AFTER ya'll are done, you clean her up, before yourself. You might be laughing but if the sex is good, she's not gonna want to get up, period. A brotha like me will whip a chick down like Boosie...or maybe like tha homeless guy at the light tryna earn a couple bucks. That’s all ima say on this, moving on...

Lastly,

9. be a gentle-mannn:

Be respectful, be kind, be caring, be on time, call/text when you say you are. If you’re saying “yo babe, ima call you later,” and don’t do it and it becomes a habitual thing…consider yourself NOW in the dog house. You have to be a man of your word…truthfully and honestly speaking. In other words, follow the rules of basic courtesy because “being chivalrous is NOT the same as kissin ass.” (food for thought)

Chivalry is built around common sense but like I say every so often…sometimes common sense, ain't that common. Good morning text aren't necessary nor are they part of being chivalrous but if she likes it, do it, fu** it but let me just make this clear again: sending a good morning text isn't a part of chivalry; period. Ladies: stop buying into these ridiculous societal norms and just live your damn life. Fellas: don't get comfortable with allowing her to text first all the damn time either. How you treat a woman says a lot about you and says a lot more about how you were raised but that's a different topic altogether. Chivalry ain't die tho, so ladies please stop calling these men thirsty the moment he pays you a compliment or does something nice just cause. And fellas stop doing creep shi* like, idk, brushing up against her ass purposely or gazing off into her breast...that's just creep. Be great men and be chivalrous.

@renaissance_brotha_

Is You Dumb Or Nah

*class is in session*

Since I’ve started this website, better yet, since I’ve started blogging, the reception from women has been great! I’m talking, “OMG Anthony, you saved me so much heartache by switching to not giving a f***!” Ok, maybe not that exactly, but you get the point. Even with all the success, I still get those texts or phone calls or emails from women at crazy times like, “I’m sorry to wake you but I just can’t deal! I think my man is cheating and I mean, I checked his emails and there are naked women in there, he got bitches CALLIN at weird times, like, I was givin him head and O-M-G Ant, I seen some chick named Tori calling him at 1...AM...1! What should I do? I-I cant bring myself to leave him alone!”

Bitch is you dumb? Like really…bitch, is you dumb!?

As much as I wanna see women win, too many of you ladies are allowing men to treat you just any ol' way and you seem perfectly fine with it. Ladies, I love ya'll but some of ya'll...ain’t S***! Ya’ll (claps hands) never (claps hands ) learn (claps hands, claps hands)!

No matter how much sh*t these dudes put ya’ll thru, ya'll keep going back for more and more and I know love is strong but lets talk about BEFORE you even fall in love with the guy; is you dumb or nah? A lot of you ladies have a bark that rings loud but a bite that is equivalent to that of a teething child. To all the, “I can’t leave him cuz I love him even tho he’s been doing me wrong since we’ve been dating,” women of the world, this blog is for you.

according to single ass Renee

 

Your girlfriends, yo momma, yo sister(s), yo granny, yo co-workers will all tell you that you can do better but honestly...they're lying to ya ass! You’re in a bad relationship, you’ve been in one for a long period of time and every single time something goes wrong, they break out the lil’ ass violin and spring that, “girl don’t worry about it, you’ll be fine, you can do better” sh*t on you like that's suppose to inspire some change in you; bruh! I’m all for motivation and what not but here’s the thing: you can’t TEACH self worth! You know what fear is? Fear is knowing that the guy that treats you like garbage will one day stop treating you like such and he will leave. When you have self worth and you realize this, you brush it off and go on with your life but when you don't...you wallow in your tears. This applies to women with college degrees, women who collect welfare checks, and every other kind in-between; you’re no different. White, Black, Latino, Asian, Middle Eastern, Native American...you're no different. Every damn Friday or Saturday there’s a female, at home, waiting for her man to get in after being out all night, smelling like liquor, stripper ass, and cheap cologne so she can curse him out and have make up sex! That is her LIFE! “I’m sorry I did you wrong” sex and breakfast in the morning and a few nights of “let me hide my tongue in the crack of your ass” will hold her over until the next argument. Now most don't understand why this happens because a lot of women haven't experienced this (yet). I’m here to tell you this: you havveee to stop giving people credit for knowing their worth; period! I can give you the numbers to a bunch of great men who will treat you like a queen but if yo ass has a ton of baggage, you don’t love yourself enough to allow a man to love you, you have no self worth…what’s the point? By your friends telling you, “you can do better yada yada,” you will go home and STILL text/call the dude that does you wrong on a daily basis! Misery doesn’t only love company…it turns you women ON! What you also gotta think about is if she’s only had a handful of BFs in her life:

• Sean: was her first love but it didn’t last long
• Mark: a rebound to help get over Sean who was ok, but eh
• Keith: college sweetheart who treated her ok but cheated too damn much
• Tony: great guy but...he didn't satisfy her sexually so she cheated and he found out and took her back...

So, she dumps Tony and is now with her current...John:
a combination of all the previous guys she’s ever been with mixed with his own style and personality. He’s mediocre and she knows that but guess what? It sure as hell beats being with those other guys despite the fact that she still gets treated like s***. Settling is what we call this folks.

Honestly, some of you ladies are only as good as the men you’ve actually been with. You take a person who flips burgers and make them a general manager, I mean, sure, to someone who has been a general manager before, that might not mean much but to that regular ol' burger flipping employee? That means the WORLD and then some; same thing goes for these females. He might not be making a lot of money, hell, he might not even be MCM (Man Crush Monday) material but if he is texting her sweet good mornings and chatting with her on the phone at night and calling her pretty, I mean that right there is enough (for some women) to feel like a queen...

HA, how blinded is she!


oh no bitch you stupid

Any woman that can sit there and tell you to your damn face that, “he’s a good liar” or something else along those lines in order to save face from looking stupid, like we don't know what's going on...needs to be shot. That playing victim sh*t is weak. Once you allow him to slide and slide like he’s a damn baseball player with sh*t upon sh*t and and then play victim: you have a problem. I couldn’t see the chalkboard as kid and blamed bad grades on everybody/thing BUT myself and my father whipped MY ass. I didn’t wanna look like little gay Urkel with glasses, so, I never said anything. You know who suffered and who had a sore ass? Me! Just like you women who allow guys to say whatever and do whatever and you KNOW it ain’t right; you suffer, not him. He’s gonna continue to have sex withwhatshername. He’s gonna continue to use your car when you gotta go to school to go chill with his boys and come pick yo ass up late. No one cared if I got a C- in Math because I couldn’t see and no one cares if you marry dumbass Darren.

You know what men are good at:

• Getting mad over sports
• Letting our pride get the best of us
• And manipulating women

There’s not a man alive who hasn’t “tested” their woman. A man will try you, just to see how dumb yo ass is and see what he can and can not get away with. He’ll stop texting, he’ll stop calling, he’ll stay out later and later, he’ll start to flirt with other women more and more, he’ll call you out your name, hell, he’ll even say some off the wall mess about another woman in front of you! If he is successful with getting away with the behavior, it will continue. It’ll go from: double tapping a pic on Instagram and leaving "flirty emojis"…to you bringing it up to him…to him in her DM getting the number…to you "finding" a nude pic of her in his photos…to you bringing it up to him…to him going out with his boys…and you finding out from one of his boy's GF that the boys are actually in Miami for the weekend, tryna convince D. Wade to come to NY…to you bringing it up to him…to him denying everything and calling you crazy…to you two arguing…to you guys having sex…to him doing the same exact sh*t gain a month later…to you finding out and saying nothing.

You might laugh and say that’s not real, but it happens all the damn time and it could very much be your situation right now…but that’s no business of mine.

If you keep looking the other way and settling for make up sex and thinking that will ease the pain; you're stupid. Stevie Wonder is blind, so, he gets a pass but you…YOU?!? You don't get a pass for allowing yourself to be mistreated and blaming him and not blaming yourself! You think by looking the other way, not saying anything that he will eventually hang himself with the rope you've been giving him but boo boo...his ass will take that rope you gave him and hang you and move on to the next one. At some point, you'll decide to do something but he knows how to bring you down from level 10 to a 2 and guess what? You don’t have the ovaries to leave his ass. At this point he doesn’t think you’re dumb- oh noo, he knows it! “I’m not stupid, I know what you’re doing!!! I know you f***in whatshername off of Twitter Brian!” is like telling the bully, “I walk home by myself so if you wanna beat me up, you can,” instead of telling someone about the bullying. Stop letting s**t slide.

and you thought Yvette had it bad...bruh!

 

And why should he!? All that crying, man, you just want someone to feel sorry for that ass. You run crying to him and what...he's gonna magically care? No! Wipe them tears and realize this guy’s actions and words don’t go hand-in-hand. Saying he cares and actually giving a damn are not the same thing, but you don’t understand that. How do you know if someone cares? They show it! If you’re hungry- you get something to eat. You tired- you take a damn nap. Sex, getting your ass ate, some designer bag, and a movie/dinner date will never ever be enough to fix long-term relationship problems; just saying. Now of course he cares about you…he cares if you die! He will continue to dick you down and rub your shoulders and allow you to sleep on his chest after it’s all said and done. A man who shows you respect at all times…is deserving of your love…not just your vagina and mouth. You think because you look good in a selfie, he won't cheat? You think because you suck his penis every damn day, he won't creep? There's more to it...no...there's LEVELS to this relationship sh**! Don't feed me that love ish when love has you miserable. YES, men eff up but on a man who f***s up on a consistent damn basis is not the man for you!

...according to WHO!?!

I’ve seen this on Instagram so much man, it’s just hilarious. I love a woman with confidence but never should that be confused with…idk, ummm, egotistical arrogance. Your ego will keep you single ladies and your ego will keep you in a relationship that should've been done a long damn time ago! You Let Beyoncé tell you that his ass CAN be replaced if and when he f***s up and guess what? He still drinking the OJ and eating up all the pasta noodles with fried hot dogs and using his check to go to the club to buy drinks! This dude has had the free range to do whatever and say whatever to you for years and the threats you come up with get thrown out the window, why? Because the moment you muster up the courage to be Wonder Woman…you’re ass naked getting penis Moon Walked inside of you. Regret losing you? Bitch, he hardly cares that he has you! These men don’t respect you women and you expect one of these dudes to give you a ring…bitch is you dumb?! We can’t control the weather- but we can control who we decide to deal with (cliché), how? OPEN YOUR EYES TO HIS SH*T! You living with a man that doesn't respect you; you're dumb. He gives you penis and not an apology; you're dumb. He cheats on you and you KNOW he's lying when he's telling you no and you let it go till months later and threaten to leave but don't; you're dumb. You giving a dude money and he's using it to do the complete opposite of what he said he would be doing with it and you KEEP giving him money and then complain to him that he's using you; you dumb. He puts his hands on you while you argue because he can't control his temper and you're f***ing him hours later; you're dumb.

...but I digress

Can you do better? Yes. Will you do better? Well, that’s dependent on you hun. T.I. has a song about not wanting mediocre and people are responding to him like, “n****…you married Tiny!” You know how many people settle for mediocre? Plenty! You know how many women settle for men that are half-assed? Plenty! There are plenty of great men that will treat you right, I mean, hell, get ya ass up and go out and enjoy life and mingle and start conversations with the cute guy at the bar or on line at Chiptole! A man will accept your flaws but too many of you ladies have this attitude about you like someone owes you something because of what happened in the past with whatshisface. I’m not paying for the crimes of the last douche, so, you better get ya ass in order before you meet me or be working ya ass off towards doing so because the same behavior will continue: the vicious cycle of you being used and abused. You know what the issue for a lot of you single or in bad relationship/marriage women are: your mindset. You put sh** in your mind and call it truth and its nothing more than bull AND sh**, honestly. You’re worried about everything but checking the man you’re with and that’s why you’re looking stupid to others. You’ve been hurt so bad but with these Instagram posts/memes and Rob Hill/Just Mike/Tony G. got ya ass so caught up in your feelings…you don’t know if you wanna be single or go get a dick to replace the vagina you have. WISE UP LADIES! No man will jump through your window and give you his number; it takes going out. No stop fuc*ing you over; it takes leaving his ass and making him learn the hard way. Part of the reason you can’t do better is because you aren’t willing to work for it. You're too afraid, shy, or prideful to put yourself out there, and would rather deal with lames in your comfort level. Finding a better man is too hard, so stick with the one you got until he tosses you to the side. Even after he moves on, complain about how good he used to treat you as if you suddenly got amnesia when it comes to the nights he had you crying your eyes out. I laugh at you types because ya'll are the MAIN ones tryna offer someone advice on how to do better; bitch, shut ya ass up and check your man. I can write a million blogs and you can read them word for word like (some) of you do now and guess what…

Nothing

@renaissnace_brotha_