Moan, Stretch, Cum, Let It Go

The language and content of this entire piece is raw and uncut and if you are sensitive, I highly suggest you do not read,

like, at all...

deadass.

*****

You ever just look at somebody and be like, DAMN...I wonder what you fuck like!? For me, it happens often. There are just some women who just look like, well...they look like they can take a good dick! Not to take away from the fact that they're probably amazing in other areas of their lives but yea, some just look like they can take a good dick...

for about an hour or 2.

Now, don't get all in your feelings and come at me with that, "omg, you're a sexist pig...a womanizer...misogynist!" jargon because the moment a picture some appealing ass dude gets posted somewhere, with a dick print or with his shirt off, (some of) you ladies get your panties in a knot and start confessing all the nasty s*** you would do to him! But I ain't here to judge you, just like I hope you ain't here to judge me but if you are, who cares.

I digress

I'm not gonna lie to you...I love sex. I love a great mental connection and all but I really enjoy, bending a woman over eating the entire soul and every single middle school memory, from her vagina. Or maybe even just a nice and simple choke n' stroke- who knows. Point of the matter is: I love sex and I love doing different positions. Positions that'll have the body shaking and yearning for more. Positions that'll make it feel as if there's an earthquake happening in the pelvic region. Positions...that'll have you laid out across the bed like a damn starfish. Now today's class is dedicated to some positions, that I like and I hope some of you will like as well. Maybe you've tried them, maybe you haven't but if you haven't, I suggest you do!

*class is in session*

Legs On Shoulders:

There's something sexy about a woman's legs resting on my shoulders, I don't know what it is, but it just does something to me. Maybe because I like legs...who knows. Ladies, lay on your back and put either one of your legs on his shoulders or both, it's up to you. By doing this, your vagina will become tighter and will allow him to hit that G-G-G-spot better. If you want, you can even place a pillow underneath your lower back to give you an added lift, choice is yours. Let him start off slow and then pick up the pace. As he begins to go faster, have him lean in while holding your leg(s) or you can hold'em yourself. As he continues to go faster, he can ease up and hold your leg and push it forward (only if you're flexible). When that leg is pushed slightly forward and he long stroking you deeeeep, bihh, ain't no, "ba-ba-bae stop," because in our head, you saying stop but all we thinking is:

The reason this position is great...he can hit your spot and if you enjoy cummin together, you can do so. Sh**, you can also get that good ol' choke n' stroke done too...not the kinda choke like when you eating a dry ass biscuit, the kind where you can barely hear yourself moaning but you can feel him all up in you.

P**** Pon Di Face:

Always check with the dude beforehand because if you go climbing him like Spider-Man does buildings and you say, "well, Renaissance Brotha SAID it was ok..." and he come looking for me on some crazy mess...your dude, will be outta commission for a bit, so, yea, ask first. You can do this either facing him or in the reverse cowgirl position (I suggest doing both ways to be honest). Don't be aggressive starting off either, let the anticipation build up. If you're facing him: straddle his face and have him stick out his tongue and just dip...and bring it back up...dip...and bring it back up...and dip. Fellas, allow her to get comfortable and then you wrap your arms around her thighs. Ladies, grip his head and just sit there and let him do his thing. Fellas, suck on her lips but also allow your tongue to go in and out at the same time. Now if you do it in the reverse, I suggest getting on your tippy toes ladies and just ride his face. Bounce up and down! Wine your waist, grind on his face, I mean...we men love that sh**! The reason this position is great...it secretly gives men the power to dictate the orgasm. I'm a firm believer in talking sh** during sex and when you have a mouth full a pu***, it may be hard but you will have your moments where you can say things like,

"you like that sh**..."

"you like the way I suck that clit..."

"feed me that pu***..."

"cum in my mouth...

Because when you talking that sh** and you eating it right...it will bring about a very pleasurable orgasm altogether. Also, play with her nipples, lick and rub on the clit while you're eating, smack her ass even...keep it sexy.

That's Swahili For Doggy-style:

Doggy-style might be one of the top rated positions when it comes to sex. It's pleasurable to both parties and it's also an ego booster. A guy thrusting a chick from the back, all hard and fast or a woman throwing it back while looking back...it just does something to one's ego within the moment. I love it when her back is arched and...I'm deep in it. I love it when her face is down and her ass is up...and I'm deep in it. Her back is arched, I got that left leg up, just stroking away...sh** is better than the way they described heaven! Fellas, fellas, felllaaass...don't get her in this position and start off all fast: take (hand clap) yo (hand clap) time (hand clap, hand clap)! You gotta tease her a little bit. Slide it in nice and gentle and pull it out slow; that sh** will drive her crazy! As soon as you see her reaching her arm to the back to pull you closer, slap it away on some, "don't touch me or ima fuck your harder!" WOMEN LOVE THAT SHIT! Just keep sliding it in and out for a couple of minutes, get it all wet, hell, rub it on her clit even, don't be afraid to take control. After awhile, you start to build up the momentum and you can go as fast/slow as you like. Grip her waist, hold onto her shoulders, you know, basic sh** at first. She start moaning more, grab her arms, pull'em back and you fu** her harder. The reason this position is great...you can get your choke n' stroke on! I'm not telling you to Ike Turner choke her, just: get a nice little grip around her neck and stroke her! Slap her ass while you're doing it! Another reason why this position is great...I'm almost 94% sure this and missionary are the two positions that women get pregnant in the most! Ima be honest with you; if we in missionary and you looking me in the eyes, witcho pretty ass or you throwin it back, biting on that lip and moan "f***"...I'm not pulling out, like, at all. So, you better cut that sh** out or we will be up in Zales, ring shopping and deciding baby names because you will be stuck with me.

Let Her Ride:

Sometimes...I just want to be submissive. I'd be a liar if I said otherwise and frankly...I'm not in the business of lying to you. A woman on top is quite sexy, especially if she knows what she's doing. I know for some it can be awkward with all that eye contact but once you get passed all that, everything else is a go. Ladies, get him him to lay down and relax,

"bae, put your hands behind your head,"

is what you tell him and if he moves say,

"bae don't move or ima f*** you harder!"

GUYS LIKE THAT SHIT! There are times when we want you to be all cute and whatnot but then there are other times when we want you to ride us like a Kentucky Derby horse. Lean back and hold his knees while you ride him. Place your hands in his chest as you go up and down. Go down slow...come up fast or vice versa. Stay at the top and only come down 3/4 of the way and then go back up; any way you want to ride him is completely up to you. Get on the balls of your toes, grab your own breast and lick your nipples, sh**, be sexy! Tell his ass to keep his eyes on you while you riding that d***. Fellas, if you don't want to just lie there; grab her by the waist and fuck her back! That upward motion will hit her spot and her legs will get weaker by the min and that's when you tell her,

"turn that ass around...and ride me!"

Reverse cowgirl is perfect for women who love hearing the sound of her ass clappin. It's also great for women who enjoy twerkin on the d***. It's also perfect for dudes who love ass. What's better than looking at a nice ass and watching your penis go in...and out...in...and out and hearing her moan,

"smack my ass daddy! That pu*** feel good, don't it babe!?"

That sh** right there is probably one of the best things, we as men enjoy hearing during sex. More importantly ladies, you're in control! If you wanna hula hoop wine on the D, you can. You wanna bounce that booty like a basketball on the D, you can. You wanna, "cause my best friend finnaaaaa, she finnaaaaa (ohhhh)" twerk on the D, be my guessst! The reason this position is great...it never takes her that long to cum, if you got the right "equipment" and if you know what you're doing. Plus, women who like being in control basically hold the key, to the D! If you get him to moan during sex...you own his damn soul. Anytime he tells you he's about to cum ladies and tries to push you away: ease up a little bit and then quickly tighten the p**** and shift your weight into your hips and keep riding him...his punk ass won't go nowhere.

Edge Of The Bed:

If he pulls you to the edge of the bed, I can almost guarantee you 9 months later you will be in the hospital giving birth. I kid but seriously...you get pulled to the edge of the bed and it's a wrap! There's truly something sexy about it that, I don't even think scientist have managed to figure out just why. I love it! Grab you by the legs and just pull you away and watch the sheets underneath you get all fu**ed up- sexy. Spreading your legs and telling you play with your pu*** for me, I mean, how could one NOT marvel at such a sight! Fellas, get her to the edge of the bed, not to where she's more off than on the bed but to where she's balanced good enough so you can do some work. Don't even slide in her (yet) start by eating her. Tell her hold her legs and literally, just lick on the clit. Don't do NOTHING else- lick on the clit, ONLY!!! Do that for a few minutes and THEN you slide in because at this point, she'll be tired of holding her own legs so, you can hold'em for her. Slide it in, slow...I mean reaaal slow and take it out and slap it on her p****; don't even question me, just do it! Then you wanna slide all the way in and go to work. The great thing about doing all that is...you can put her right on her side (you decide) and hold one leg up, while the other remains flat and just, pump hard and fast. The reason this position is great...she won't have ANY control as to what's going on and if you stroking it good and you can hold that leg up and you can play with the clit

she just might squirt...

which is never a bad thing.

Listen, I know that was a lot to take in right but the beauty of sex is that when it's done right, I mean, not decent, I mean RIGHT...two people are left with smiles on their faces and the world is a better place. I encourage everyone to enjoy sex, safely. Yes, use condoms! If you have a partner, don't be afraid to take their ass to the clinic to get tested. If you have a new partner and you know that you're not a fan of using condoms...TAKE THEIR ASS TO THE CLINIC or make them show their results- I'm deadass when I say that. Too many people are having unprotected sex and catching a bunch of shit and passing it along like Chris Paul to Blake Griffin and in no way shape or form is that sh** cool! Just because a person doesn't LOOK like they have something, means sh**! Use protection and get tested, I promise you, it's really painless and easy and will keep you safe out here. I know sex feels way better without a jimmy hat but fellas, you don't wanna be in some p**** one day and a few weeks later your crotch is itchy and you doing the whip & nae nae to your johnson. Ladies, I know brown skin with the good teeth and full beard looks good but he can have a some sh** that'll have your whole vagina in the toilet swimming like Michael Phelps. I know light skin with the nice eyes or the dark skin dude with dreads got a d*** that'll have you praising Allah but you gotta stop allowing these men to go in raw and leaving your box with a filter on it (take your pick). I know this wasn't your typical ending but it has to be said because if one of you ladies burn me or give me some shit I can't get rid of...I'm getting you fired from your job, evicted, selling your shoes, cutting the front panel of your panties out, tossing your car keys, blowing up your car, leaving dog doodoo in from of your parents house, leaking your nudes to Baller Alert, and flushing your make-up and recording that sh**! Be safe!

Do you have any favorite positions? If so, what are they and why.

@renaissance_brotha_

So I Have This Friend: Whose Sex is Wack!

*names have been changed to protect the innocent*

Email from friend:
"Yo Ant, this bi*** @geminisweet p**** is wack! It smelled like 22 Africans in leather suits b! It's like, she dead came and then got up and showered and left, like, are you serious! I almost blacked on her! If I didn't have to study for MCATs I would've blacked b! Why these b****es think they can get theirs and bounce like that? Why was she so stiff?!?! I don't wanna waste your time but I want you to make a blog about this b, like, that's ya homegirl and I blame you for tellin me to f***. I wasted my night and I coulda been in Mel b, like, I curved Mel for this b****! Make a blog about her sex being wack or something because I'm not f***in these b****es no more man, it got me aggy!

Dilla"

Women think that they're the only ones who experience bad sex but guess again ladies, you're not. For the past few months, swarms of guys have been hitting me up asking me to make a post or blog about women and their lackluster sex, so, here we are. Now, in no way, shape or form am I degrading women in any way, nor do I want this to come across as sexist, but ladies...sometimes your sex ain't on point. I've experienced some bad sex partners in my day, fortunately not a crazy amount because I'm not out here giving the d*** away like Rondo dishing the ball but the ones that I have experienced...*phew*! I figured I'd put together a list of complaints I've gotten and also share some of my insight for your reading pleasure. Without further ado, I present to you:

So I Have This Friend...whose sex is wack!

*class is in session*

Spider-Man:
I will NEVER, be able to understand: how a woman can say, "yea, yea, just make sure you give me all that d***!" and then

10 minutes later...

"baby...babe...wait, wait, hol'up, hol'up!"

Oh, so you Big Sean now? Men don't like women who run from the d*** just like women don't like men who can't keep their d*** up! You wanna be a runner? Apply at Applebee's or Friday's. I'm suckin' and lickin' on that clit, don't stop me. I got your legs on my shoulders, hittin' that spot, don't put your clammy ass hands on my chest to push me away. I got ya face down, ass up, hands grippin' ya waist, don't scoot away. If it hurts, say so, if not, let me pin you down and enjoy it because all that movin' n'sh*t like lil' boys do in the barber chair... #AintNobodyGotTimeFoDat
Tip: If its feelin' good to you, let it be so you can cum and speaking of cummin'...

tap-out:
I will NEVER, be able to understand: how a woman can even fix her lips and say some sh*t like, "I'm bout to cum, YES...*wooo*...I'm done (insert smiley face)." Done? B***h, you done making that box macaroni and cheese you make every Tuesday? Or are you done leaving hair in the shower because I'm confused. I know loads of men are guilty of the same behavior but all it takes is a 5 minute blow job and 10 minutes of penetration and we're good; women on the other hand require a lot more time and effort. No man wants to hear, "yea, yea, yea just make sure you ain't stingy with the d***!" and then she's stingy with the p****, WTFeezy!? Just because yo ol' selfish ass is finished don't mean I'm done! You better make that mouth work or them hands work because I counted two orgasms for you and 0 for me and I better nut before I turn into the Incredible Hulk over here.

Oh, you thought I was a "1-minute man" ha. You thought I was gonna get a taste of dat p****, bust a nut n'go to bed ha. You thought I was like Tyrone ha; you thought them backshots was gon' take me out my zone ha. Well baby girl see you wrong ha. You came a few times, now you surprised I last long ha...

I digress,

Tip: You may have laughed at that musical break but seriously: don't just leave him hangin', finish what you start.

doorknob stiff:
I will NEVER, be able to understand: how you can post videos of you "twerkin dat ass" for Vine or Instagram but when it comes to sex...you're like a fish outta water! Maybe it's me, may-be-it's-ME, but how you gon' climb yo ass in the bed and then don't climb on the d*** to ride!? You better put some movement on dat d***! (Pops from Friday voice). I'm not saying you have to go ape s*** on the d***, but hell, if you moving like Sara from Save The Last Dance when Derrick taught her how to dance when we out at the club, don't be as stiff as President Obama when he was on Ellen (Obama Dancing) when we f***, plain and simple.
Tip: Don't let me be the only one putting in some action! If we're in doggystyle position, throw that ass back! If you're on top ridin', get on your tippy-toes and bounce!

The Nicki Minaj-er:
I will NEVER, be able to understand: how after only TWO damn strokes...you screaming like a damn exorcist is being performed! Can I get to stroke 17 before you start reciting sexual scriptures!? Oh, so you want a Tony Award for your performance? Or, or maybe you thought you were gonna get an Oscar? Keep the Nicki Minaj- voices and faces outta the bedroom! I know the d*** be good but if you wanna perform and live out your inner thespian, become a YouTube actress; cut the sh*t.
Tip: Grab a damn pillow and yell into it. Grab your panties, roll them into a little ball and shove them in your mouth, unless your vagina smells like pig tongue and sauerkraut, which brings me to my next point...

all-day-p**** (ADP):
I will NEVER, be able to understand: how any woman can expect a man to lick, suck, finger, or stick his penis into a vagina that has not been cleansed! If you know you've been out all day at work, or in the gym, or grocery shopping, or shoe shopping, or at bible study and then you want me to come over (or you come over) and you're expecting sex and you ain't take some soap and water to that vagina? I hope your clit falls off! Seriously tho, that sh*t ain't cool. Hygiene is important and should be a top priority when it comes to sex. Also ladies, stop going to the bathroom to pee and/or sh*t and then getting back in the bed expecting us to resume sexual activities, it's just not happening.
Tip: Cleanliness is next to Godliness; make sure you wash the holy hell outta your vagina, amen!

what dat mouth DON'T do?:
I will NEVER, be able to understandable: how any woman can expect a man to go deep sea divin' and then turn around and won't play a clarinet solo on the penis! Do I look like Charlie Brown? You not gon' play me! Now me personally, Anthony, I'm not a fan of it, but a normal dude who ENJOYS receiving oral sex, will feel some kinda way. Also, no teeth; this ain't a BBQ and my d*** is NOT a piece of corn! Lastly, for all you women who expect men to swallow your vaginal juices when we're performing oral but you scrunchie your face up when we want to cum in YOUR mouth, listen: either you're swallowing or yore taking it on your upper lip because if not...stay at home and watch Law & Order.
Tip: If you don't like the way it taste, have him increase his fruit intake. If you're not a 'flute blower' or you know you "suck d***" at suckin' d***, just stay at home and watch a Netflix movies.

*non-positional:
I will NEVER, be able to understand: how the only positions you do are:

•doggystyle
•missionary
•ridin' a dude's face

Don't nobody got time for that, "but I only cum when he hittin it from the back!" ... have you TIRED sex while on your side, one leg flat, the other wrapped around him or in the air and he just goes deeper and deeper...and deeper? Probably not but guess the f*** what: IT'LL MAKE YOU THANK HIS MAMA FOR BRINGING HIM INTO THIS WORLD! You don't have to be Gabby Douglas on the d*ck (No R. Kelly) but f*** out-SIDE your comfort zone! I'm not asking you to be a trapeze artist but expand your horizons! On the other hand tho, ladies, stop tryna do positions that don't fit your body type. If you know you can't ride the d***, spare the both of us because if I'm bored, I'm grabbing my phone and watching Hey Arnold on YouTube. Stop tryna do splits n'sh*t when you know good-and-damn-well your body ain't set up that way. If you're athletically challenged: find a yoga class, Zumba, or come to me for some ballet moves that you can utilize...my services don't come cheap tho.
Tip: Listen to Usher's, "That's What It's Made For," for some inspiration or seriously, take up Yoga.

squirt without warning:
I will NEVER, be able to understand: how a woman can KNOW she's a squirter but decides not to disclose that info to me before sex. I, like many other men, LOVE a squirter but without warning? Nah (Chief Keef voice). If I'm tongue drillin' you, you start screaming, legs start shakin', and it turns into splash waterfalls...I'm going into the kitchen, grabbing the biggest pot, filling it with water, and tossing it on your face! Give me a warning at least so I can use some old bed sheets and a couple of towels, so we both not looking at each other like, "rock-paper-scissors for who sleeps in the wet spot?" because 9/10 I'm gonna win and you're gonna be mighty upset about having to sleep in that sh*t.
Tip: Give me a heads up, that simple.

leave my ass alone:
I will NEVER, be able to understand: how any woman can think its cool to run their lil' manicured fingers anywhere near a man's ass. Oh, ohhhhhh, orrrr their tongue!!! Consult (claps hands) your (claps hands) man (claps hands) before (claps hands) deciding (claps hands) to (claps hands) Lamborghini his doors (claps hands)! What I mean is: don't just assume because you go from the d*** to the balls, that you gotta move your damn tongue down into my booty hole! YES- it's a pleasure zone for men; NO- no man wants his salad tossed without warning! This ain't HBO Oz! Some dudes enjoy it-hey, more power to them but ask first. If you wanna grab my ass while we're in missionary, go for it but please...don't move those fingers elsewhere. You stick your fingers in my ass, I'm d**k'-dippin' in ya butt!
Tip: Just ask because no man wants a "Lamborghini Mercy" outta nowhere.

Now I'm sure there are a lot more I forgot to mention so, share some, if you don't mind! All feedback is welcomed and highly encouraged!

I hope you enjoy this Dilla and make sure you tell other dudes to read and follow the movement too boy!

@renaissance_brotha_

So I Have This Friend: Whose GF Can't Ride...

Names have been changed, but the story remains the same.

Nick: "But deadass Ant...this b**** can't ride d*** for the life of her!!!"
Me: "Bro...tell her how you want it to be done!"Nick: "If only it were that EASY bro, it's not. We went for a bike ride the other day and this b**** was like Meek Mill & his boys on a damn CitiBike...a CITIBIKE!"Me: "Wait, you went, YA'LL went for a bike ride? (insert hard laughing)"Nick: "You mad cause you ain't got no b**** to ride WITH! But deadass boy, she can't ride d***, what should I do?? I know you be writing blogs for these b****es, write one for me fam!"

So I Have This Friend...whose girl can't ride d***!

First and foremost...

DID YOU MISS MEEE!?!?

No? Oh...ok, I digress, but before I start:

Warning: If you are a friend and/or a family member and you MIGHT feel a tad bit uncomfortable with reading/hearing me talking about sex; this blog ain't fo yo ass.

#TURNUP

A lot of you women are out here throwing dirt on guys who can't seem to get it together in the bedroom and for that...may the Lord take vengeance upon thee! Are (some) men garbage in bed? Yes, yes SOME are, but there's a whole lot of them who are NOT (and this blog ain't for them). My boy isn't the only man to feel this way, hell, I've had a few ladies who couldn't ride a d*** but could "drop down and get their eagle on" and hit the electric slide at the drop of a dime! Some of you chicks be like, "Babe, I can't ride, can we just do doggy?" No, not now. Or, "Babe, I've never really...I mean, I don't normally do this (while climbing on top)," well, I've never been to Six Flags, but you gon ride this roller coaster! I know you're laughing while reading this, but how some of y'all claiming to be #BedroomBullies...and can't ride a d***?! That s*** puzzles me! So, here at #ABetterBreedOfMan, I wanna help you ladies get in touch with your...inner, freak if you will. I present to you: how to ride the D SO good, yo mama's mama...would be proud!

Yo Nick, you owe me bro because I'm sure your girl will be reading this!

*class is in session*

Some of you beautiful, intelligent, sexy women are reading this and can identify with the topic: you can't ride d*** well! And that's cool, dot worry boo, I got yoouuu! If you have a man, don't be afraid to practice on him, that's what he's there for; what is he gonna say, no? No man will turn down p****! "I ain't afraid of no man or no d***!" yea yea, I know: that's why you can't ride d***? What's that old saying, "practice makes perfect"? Well, you better lay his ass down, and climb on top, and ride him like a Low-Ridah out in Cali! Something to always keep in mind (and this is with anything): you can’t get better at something if you’re scared to fail. When you tell someone you haven’t done something before, that statement should then be accompanied by you trying. You don’t say you haven’t done something and continue not to do it; without trying you’ll never learn. I'm not suggesting ANY one of you ladies go out here, and have sex with just ol' any guy, just so you can practice...that sh*t ain't cool nor is it attractive. Now Nick, if Amanda comes to you and says, "let's f***! I know you like me being on top so I want to trying something new", strip down to your socks and enjoy the ride my brotha!

Secondly ladies

In order to feel comfortable pleasing your man, you have to be able to please yourself first and him, SECOND! It's just like in life: in order to be selfless, you have to be a lil selfish; so selfishly pleasure yourself with toys me or fingers all you want! There's not a dude out here that won't appreciate you jumping on top and riding him like that mechanical bull at your local bar. If you want to get your nut off and not worry about Minute-Man Mark, go for it. Ladies, in plain English: I want you to do all the nasty sh*t you do in your alone time, when no one is watching, to your man! Make it so nasty, you'll have to pray EXTRA, in church on Sunday (y'all don't hear me tho)! It's not the Mark and Laura show, oh no, it's the Laura Show, co-starring Mark...and his d***. However once you get to that point, learn what pleases him. Who knows you might actually like what he likes and can start killing two birds(freaks) with one stone(move). Dudes like Nick, complain about women that get on top only to please themselves and that’s just selfish; if you want to be a skilled rider you have to learn how to do both. Don't trip tho, I got some techniques that'll have you riding like Ciara (pun all the way intended).

baby grind on meeee! (Pretty Ricky voice)

Remember them guys? Well, if you don't, YouTube them but if you do, ladies: I want you to grind like you're at a high school party! There's not a woman reading this who doesn't enjoy grinding her warm, wet, tight, (meow), and rubbing her clit at the same time until they achieve orgasm. Work them hips, lose some of those calories, and dig your fingers into his chest...not too rough tho! Most guys aren't cumming from grinding, but from friction, there's a difference. Men need to be stroked to achieve orgasm, which grinding can limit.

b-b-b-bounce that p**** and shake dat ass

You know what turns a man on with the quickness, other than you dropping to your knees and putting his d*** in your mouth: watching and feeling you bounce on top of him. The woman who can push a man on his back, climb on top, and f*** him till he has no more energy in his tank...is a keeper! Women that bounce on the d*** usually know exactly what they’re doing and they ride with purpose. You're not worried about the fact that you just got your hair done, noooo. You're not worried about the fact that, you have work in a couple hours, noooo. You're worried about pleasing yourself, because he will be led to believe, you're really doing it for him; which sometimes is never the case (I be knowin ladies). That bounce action is cool for the dudes who enjoy having the breast in their face (like me) or who enjoy watching the ass go up...and down...and up...and down in the Reverse Cowgirl position AND who enjoy smackin that ass while you're at it (I be knowin ladies).

...you got the juice now (insert your name here ladies

I know what you're thinking: what the hell is this fool talking about now! Well, it doesn't mean "juicing" like combining fruits and veggies and sh*t; it simply means to pull and squeeze at the same damn time! Some of y'all (women) don’t know about juicing, but just think about grinding for a second. Grinding is the rubbing of two surfaces to cause friction. However, juicing is when you squeeze AND pull away from him to cause the friction. It’s basically like you’re trying to squeeze and ring him out (kinda like a wash cloth). I want you to squeeze his d*** with your vagina and just look him in the face while you're doing it; I guarantee you he will speed up his pumping, which will make him cum like that! The best position to do this in, is in Reverse Cowgirl...

and speaking OF Reverse Cowgril...

Men like when you ride it...facing the other way! When you climb on top, ride it for a lil bit facing him and then, turn around and: MAKE SURE YOU KEEP THE D*** INSIDE OF YOU (I can't stress that enough)! Place his hands around your waist, and continue with what you were doing. You can lick your nipples if you want, massage your clit while he slaps your ass, hell, you can even fantasize about someone else. It’s just better suited for two people to please one another, yet have the privacy they want while having sex as weird as that may sound.

One time, a friend of mine said, "when I get on top, he does whatever we wants, it's like, I don't have no control of the situation." My answer to that: f*ck him back. Put his hands inside of yours, pin them down, and f*** him until he cums, that simple. A lot of women are quick to say men are intimidated by them but become intimidated by men, in the bedroom: the irony. Here's something you can try: to make you feel a lil more at ease, make him put his hands behind his head, tell him to keep put, and go to work...men like taking orders n' s***.

Lastly,

I spoke about this in the paragraph before last but once again (because it's really that important): don't let the d*** slip out! Now before you start going off and dismiss miss this piece of info, consider this:

size matters! I don't care what any one of you have to say, size matters. Now, with that being said (Kevin Hart voice), it's up you take a peek at the pole he's packing and make sure it doesn't come out! If you have control and I mean COMPLETE control over your body/abilities...the d*** can never and I mean never come out, period-point-blank.

Nick, make her feel comfortable at all times; sex isn't just about catching a nut or two and rolling over and knocking out, it's way deeper than that, it's brackets to this s***. There's levels to this sh*t, and while that may be a line from Meek Mill, it's true in every sense! If you want to give some advice, simply just express how you feel when the two of you are most comfortable and laugh n' sh*t like that, this way, it comes across a lot better.


If you need anything else, holla at me!

Ladies: have you ever felt embarrassed when you got on top? Did you get better? What advice could you offer other women about riding better? Did this post miss anything?

@renaissance_brotha_