So I Have This Friend: Mr. Anti-Oral pt. 2

now, for the conclusion of, "So I Have This Friend: Mr. Anti-Oral"

Me: Nope! I don't date nurses (insert laugh)
Him: Liar, but Na, I wouldn't bro.

Me: So when you DID go down, did you enjoy it any?
Him: It was cool you know, I was ready to do it and I did it and I enjoyed it but it's not my cup of tea.

Me: Who hurt you?
Him: I remember seeing my sister get pipe'd down by some dude she was talkin to and then he left and a few mins and I literally mean, a FEW mins later...her BF came over and just ate it with no problem. I had to stop playin Tekken fam, word.

Me: Yikes, but I see where you're coming from.
Him: It's all about trust to me. A man like me has to trust you enough to do it or I have to be college, white girl wasted to put my tongue inside of you.

Me: I see.
Him: And I'm not a saint either. I don't want people to read this and think that's the case...I've cheated.

Me: Well, who hasn't. So you're telling me she has to, "slob on ya knob, like corn on a cob?"
Him: Nah, nah (insert laugh) that's not the case man. A vagina is just soooo, dirty. Working in the hospital you hear and learn and SEE a lot of things and it's quite the turn off. If she gives me head, that's cool, I can go take a bird bath and rinse my joint off and be cool, not so much with her.

Me: You're a clown. You can't wash off a VD or STD son.
Him: True and I thank baby Jesus I haven't caught anything.

Me: But what about...
Him: I don't mean to cut you off but you and I are one and the same in a sense. It takes time for me to even consider doing something like that and it doesn't have to do with love either. The more questions you ask about her sexual history, the more you learn, the better you go about those kinda things.

Me: I see what you're saying.
Him: I remember having that party and seeing mad of them Howard girls use my bathroom and not use the tissue and they was touching EVERY-DAMN-THING Ant!

Me: I remember! Taye ass was rubbing Kev face!
Him: Exactly! I'll keep it real tho, I'll eat but it won't be for that long. I'm definitely not on no half hour tip...ain't nobody got time fo dat!

Me: I feel you.
Him: I'm not spending time down there when we could be doing other stuff, it's just not happening over  here. She want head, we can have a threesome, somebody who will do that because me...I'm not doing it and I don't care how that makes me sound.

Me: Ah, so in parting?
Him: Ladies, stop listening to Lil' Wayne and expecting guys to eat your vagina all types of crazy and for long periods of time because it's unrealistic. It's like the Repubs and Dems getting along...a cold day in hell before that happens.

*****

Ladies, before you attack him all crazy, I hope that you've thoroughly read and respond from a place of understanding because that would be the rational thing to do.  Also, not all guys are like him, I'm not like this, but he's not the ONLY one is what I'm tryna say. I will never knock a person's sexual preference so if you don't like one thing, we'll do another, simple as that.

Ladies, what did you think of all of this? Let me know
Fellas, can ya'll agree or are writing him off? Let me know

@renaissance_brotha