Tuuh...Like You Know What I Want

Me: "I know what women want, and it's not that basic mess ya'll post on Instagram and or Facebook, or retweet on Twitter...it goes much deeper than that, trust!"
Female friend: "Oh yea? So you really think you're Steve Harvey huh? Tuuh, you're not Ant, you don't have a clue at all, as what it is that women WANT!"
Me: "No I don't think I'm Steve Harvey..he's bald and warm brown, I'm..."
Female friend: "Wait wait wait, did you just say he was warm brown tho? (chuckle) I'm sorry but that was..."
Me: "I don't mean to cut you off but, I don't think I'm Steve Harvey...well, then again, a lil bit."
Female friend: "Maybe you should do a blog on that and see how it goes. I guarantee you're off."

So, here's the thing: what DO women want?

I'm 25 20-somethin, and in the course of my dating career I've had a lot of ups and downs all of which have helped me get a basic sense of what it is that women want. I've had a lot of conversations with women in college to women who've been married for decades! Out of all those conversations I've learned this:

1) women do NOT like questions!
and
2) ...men need to be more attentive when it comes to the basics of dealing with women in general.

So, today's class will be all about: what a woman wants. Pay attention, save all questions till afterwards, but most importantly...take notes fellas!

*class is in session*

1) S-E-XXXXX:
And I'm not talking about sex here and there, I'm talking sex on a consistent basis! Here's the thing: MOST SOME women enjoy sex just as much as any man, hell, if not more! I'm willing to bet your homegirls probably enjoy it waaaay more than you (I know a lot of mine do). The key is to keep the sex interesting and good, if not great. Don't just penetrate in those boring positions, add some spice to it! Lay her on her back and put her legs on your shoulders and stroke her fast and slow and run your tongue around her nipples...women love the nipple foreplay. Also, DON'T BE AFRAID TO GO DOWNTOWN! Also, surprise her with breakfast in bed and even give her some oral while she's eating: breakfast in bed=breakfast and head! #Winning

2) Be A Support System:
One of the things some of us men let fall by the waistline is not being a support system to the one we love. Without a doubt, a woman wants to KNOW that if she had a dream about quitting her job that she hates so much and goes into work that same day and quits, no matter how irrational it might seem at the moment, she wants to know that you'll be there to support her decision and her actions thereafter. Corny as this may sound but, "teamwork will make the dream work" more times than none! Reassuring her that you have her back and that you will defend her when it is necessary...goes a long way. Like a NBA basketball team has cheerleaders, women need to know and FEEL that she is being supported no matter what.

3) "I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T Do You Know What That Means!?":
Yup, Beyonce, Kelly, & Solange Michelle sang it best, "all the la-dies, who indepen-dent! Throw your hands up...somewhere" idk, anywho, women run sh*t! I mean, I know A LOT of women who get things done without the help of any man and to me, that's sexy! In order for a relationship to be successful (and this is just my opinion) you have to be a lil selfish, in order to to be selfless. What that means is: a woman must first love and honor and be able to take care of herself before she can take care of her man...because what good is it if you try to teach your man to cook and you can't even toast some bread. If she wants to plan things for the two of you to do, allow her to do so. If she asks for your input, input, otherwise, let her be. Point being: she needs space to be who she is and like the old saying goes, "behind every good man, there's a good woman."

4) "L-O-V-E-E-E-E and Affection":
Thanks to Steve Harvey and his Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man book, women have become more and more emotionless but honestly...it's all a defense mechanism. It doesn't matter how bad she's been hurt by her past; all she really wants is some love and affection at the end of the day. Someone who won't give up on her (that goes back to #2) and someone who will hug her even, at times she doesn't even need a hug and she has her guard/wall up. That right there will help bring that guard down. Forms of affection: hugs, kisses to different parts of her body (cheeks, lips, nose, forehead, neck, hell, even her stretch marks), cuddling/spooning, flowers, and even a massage...shoulder or a foot massage are usually the best forms.

5) Babe...You're Beautiful:
And it doesn't even have to necessarily be beautiful, it can be any other variation of the word, just as long as it comes from you. This is a huge and I mean a HUGE deal! (put a star next to this). Ask any female in your family and I'm sure they will agree that compliments are key in any relationship/marriage! Annddd, what you WON'T do...yea, I'm sure you know the rest of that statement.

6) Good Ol' QT:
Quality timeeee, she just want some quality timeeee! Sure, hangin' out with her girls is fun, but spending time with you...it means THAT much more to her. With school and or work or even if she has children, getting the chance to spend time with you and just you means more than any text message or FaceTime or phone call ya'll can have. It's important for couples to spend face to face tome together to help with the times you guys DON'T get see each other. The more time you spend together, the more memories, the better connection and I'm speaking from experience. Spending time is an indicator that you really DO care and she's not just any ol' girl.

and last but not least,

7) ...You Are Appreciated:
There's nobody on the face of this Earth that doesn't want to be appreciated! Hell, I know I do, and the way you guys do that is...by telling everybody about this blogspot lol.

Joking (but not really)

Admiration for your girl goes a long way as well. If she's doing good in school, let her know. If she tried her hardest to cook a meal that you particularly like, but didn't do such a great job like mama do, praise her nonetheless. Let her know that you appreciate her for all that she does for you and for the relationship because sacrifices were made, and those have helped shape the relationship into what it is today. Mostly importantly before I concluded...let her know you're proud of her, period, point, blank! (underline and circle that last sentence).

Now in conclusion, the list was basic BUT, it will help you in your relationship. Take heed to what was said and apply them and you will be a better man for it.

Any feedback, please feel free.

*class dismissed*

@renaissance_brotha