So I Have This Friend: Got Cancer?

Usually, those who have the most problems tend to wear the best disguises. For myself, I remember being homeless at one point and the toll that it took on my work and personal life day after day was beyond words. Most didn't know and because of pride, I just never told them because I saw it as, "how could this person help me, if they didn't know me well enough?" Even with family it was a struggle. So...I kept to myself and did what I had to do to get where I needed to be, but for others, that's not the case. So many of us go thru struggles that can either make us or break us and help define who we are as individuals. "Tough times never last, tough people do!"

I thought I was crazy until I met this young lady in high school by the name of Kira. Beyond nutty, to say the least. We didn't interact THAT much but we knew of each other, kinda like most blacks in high school do. Fast forward some years later and here we are now, good friends and all. With this weekend series (So I Have This Friend) I try to give the best advice I possibly can based off of the information I've learned thru the years and knowledge I've learned from others. The advice is real and the stories are realer.

So I Have This Friend...who's fighting cancer.

World, meet Shakira

Me: So I'm confused, do you have breast cancer or...
Kira: I don't have breast cancer. I am BRCA positive. Had Hodgkins Lymphoma and am a ticking time bomb for breast and ovarian cancer.

Me: Wait, BRCA? This might be a stupid question but does that mean: breast cancer?

Kira: Yes, that's the breast and ovarian cancer gene.

Me: Oh ok, got it. So, is it a correct to say that you're battling cancer?
Kira: My battle now is avoiding cancer as much as I can, though the doctor makes it seem inevitable.

Me: When did you find out?

Kira: About 2 years ago because my aunts got tested and had it. One had breast cancer very early stage. All 3 did a mastectomy and reconstruction and one had the hysterectomy also.

Me: So, this is genetic?
Kira: Yea, the BRCA gene is genetic. They say if the mother has it there is a 50:50 chance the child may have the gene also. My grandmother and mother don't wanna get tested, but three of us from my grandma side definitely have the gene.

Me: So, I'm researching online and according to http://m.cancer.gov/topics/factsheets/BRCA it says, "A woman’s lifetime risk of developing breast and/or ovarian cancer is greatly increased if she inherits a harmful mutation in BRCA1 or BRCA2."
Kira: Yup and with me having radiation when I had cancer it increases my risk even more, I think I'm in the 80 something percentile. So mammo every year, breast soon every 6 months, breast MRI every year. and pelvic sono every 3-6 months because I'm extremely high risk.

Me: Yeesh! How do you stay sane...outside of your love for Beyoncè, Big Bang Theory, and food?

Kira: I have trained myself to not dwell on it. When a doctor tells u EVERY, SINGLE, TIME with a serious face that your just a ticking time bomb (their exact words) there really isn't any other choice but to stay "sane" besides blocking it out or being in denial. You have too many questions that have no answers and too many angry feelings towards life in general, plus...I'm bipolar, so being in denial is better on me mentally.

Me: Ha! I'm Bipolar myself, mild stages tho.
Kira: Well I don't take my lithium because in my head I'm normal lol. The other day I threw out all my meds.

Me: Lol, I never took meds, just started reading dictionaries, writing, did some sports and sh*t like that. In my head...ain't nobody have time for no meds!
Kira: Exactly! I'm mental but the meds messed my body up. Can't f*** with it. I usually just black out and come back to normal. It's ok, I can deal lol.

Me: How has your mother been as far as supporting you is concerned?
Kira: The thing about it is, I don't speak on my health with anyone really. I don't care for the pity. And my mother is a hypochondriac so she would then think she has everything in the book lol.

Me: Lol, understandable. Are you single?
Kira: Yea.

Me: So in the past, you and your partner never talked about it?
Kira: No, I haven't. Usually they will ask can they go to an appointment and I'll tell they can't or tell them how it with afterwards very briefly.

Me: Have you ever asked tho?
Kira: Yea, but barely. I did my appointments by myself and stuff. I never want(ed) to feel like a burden.

Me: When you first found out, what was your first initial reaction?
Kira: I bawled like a baby and asked why the f*** can't I get a break! Being in remission from my childhood, cancer had me at ease and feeling as if the worst was over. Living everyday not knowing there's a high possibility of being diagnosed, the cancer again is worse than when I found out the first time.

Me: I couldn't imagine.
Kira: S*** who u telling!

Me: Have you ever thought about speaking somewhere?
Kira: To who?

Me: Like at schools, you know, high schools or a college or something.

Kira: I was supposed to at the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society: Light The Night Walk, but I arrived late, I was scheduled to be a guest speaker. If you Google my name a picture of me comes up and if you click it, you will see what I wrote. (http://www.lightthenight.org/li/localchapter/patients third one down, Shakira Henry)

Me: Do you take any meds? Like are you required to?

Kira: For the cancer? No.

Me: Would you sat it's been more of a mental or physical strain for the most part?

Kira: For the most part I would say mental.

Me: Why is that?

Kira: Everyday is a constant reminder of what COULD be but I live everyday to the fullest. I've learned to just enjoy life for what it is regardless of anything and for the most part, it's been working out for me.

Me: I concur. Lastly, what's something you would like to share with the readers?

Kira: ...never judge a book by its cover.

Me: Facts!

I would like to thank you (Kira) for agreeing to be interviewed and sharing your story with us, a very powerful one and an eye opener as well. She's right though, "never  judge a book by it's cover!" This is true and we all can say this but a lot of times we don't practice what we preach, I myself am guilty of this. We have no idea of what others go thru on a daily basis and to judge someone else when we don't do the same to ourselves...is criminal, but such as life.

Thank you all for reading,

@renaissance_brotha