Saturday, March 16, 2013

So I Have This Friend: Mr. Anti Oral

Names have been changed...

"I'm not eating no p****! I don't care HOW good she looks, I'm not doing that...but she can give me head tho."

Meet Rakeem, a mid 20 something year-old male nurse who loves volunteering at children hospitals, cooking, and going to the movies. Rakeem ALSO loves the ladies but, there's one thing he DOESN'T enjoy doing,

and that's going down town!

"When I tell you, it's one of the nastiest things a man can do, (insert head shake) I mean...I would rather get her a** out to be straight up with you."

"So I Have This Friend...who doesn't eat pu$$y"

I come to you today with a piece about a good friend of mine who is against going down on a female, let's begin.

Me: When do you find time as a nurse to even have time for women?
Him: All the time actually, you'd be surprised! I'm one of the few black men in my hospital, and I'm the youngest as well...they like that sh*t!

Me: I can imagine! So you're not apart of the "PC" crew huh?
Him: ...what?

Me: Pleasure Clit crew! Ima member of course and so it Teek, Ra, and Trey.
Him: Damn! Just put everybody on blast huh, I feel you boy, but na, (insert laugh) I'm not pleasuring no clit, vagina, nothin like that. Do I look like Weezy?

Me: Na (insert laugh) you don't bro but Weezy talks about eating it ALL the time! I always wonder if he uses his dreads on these chicks at the same time! So you're not a Lil' Wayne huh?
Him: Nope, I'm not about that life at ALL! Come on bro, you should know this.

Me: I know, I know. So tell me what you problem is.
Him: Ima proud member of the Anti-Eating Club! I don't agree with it at all...whatsoever. To be honest, I just don't agree with the idea of being between some female's legs. You can't trust these women these days...it's a dirty game. A dude who's out here eating box, 9/10 isn't safe and secure with what he has and that can apply to women too.

Me: Wait, what? Elaborate.
Him: Iight: basically, he must have a small penis or he doesn't know how to f*ck correctly.

Me: Wait, wait, waiiitttttt...you mean, a dude who's comfortable with giving head to a female, lacks the ability to have good sex?
Him: Yessir.

Me: I can't speak for all men, but for some, that might be the case you know but, idk brother. To me, going down on a woman is a normal activity. Now sure, men shouldn't be out here "slam dunkin" their tongues into every "hole" so to speak, but it's an essential duty. I'll tell you this: a female who loves to get it, won't give it AND she'll tell other females about you...you know we live in a social network world. But it's all about pleasing your partner and ima people pleaser! So, how does it usually work: do you usually tell them before hand or just swerve them in the course of sex?
Him: I'm very straight forward with them! I told this chick she would have to let me cum all over her in order for me to eat her out a...

Me: Wait, _________?
Him: Yup, she was ready to GO son! But like I was saying, I tell them and they just either accept it or they don't, simple as that. If you givin them good d***, they not worried about getting head. You know how many girls have said, "nah, ima make you eat me," and they've failed? Plenty!

Me: Keem, have you EVER done it before?
Him: Yea man, a few times. With Diane and Sharee, and to Kate, but I was wasted beyond comprehension with Kate.

Me: When did you start doing it actually?
Him: Diane had come to visit me at my school and one thing lead to another and I just ended up doing it and afterwards, I did a few more times thru the course of our relationship.

Me: What happens if a chick wanted to wait to go down on you or just didn't want to at all?
Him: That's a good ass question man. I don't know bro. And you know how these females are these days man, "he not tryna eat me but he want me to suck his d***? Nope, not me!" But I wouldn't even bother to be honest.

Me: Would you date you if you were a female?
Him: Would you?


...be sure to tune in for part 2 tomorrow.

@renaissance_brotha

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