B.A.D.

*cracks neck*

I know what you're thinking, "what does B.A.D. mean!?"
Well, B.A.D. = bitch ass dude(s)

That's right: B**** ASS DUDES!

Now if you already knew that, kudos to you and if you didn't, you just learned something new; and learning is only HALF the battle...
but oh how I wish I could say that about some of you dudes out there!

In 2013, some of you dudes STILL ain't winning, but you want us to believe that you are? Get ALLLL the way the f*** outta here with that; ain't nobody got time fa dat! I've lost respect for you dudes, why? Because you've become just like the women you often talk about, (re)tweet about, slander on FB, and make sub post about on Instagram. Gossiping and spreading rumors?!?! That's what females do! S*** like that is never cool! I Hope this entire blog gets texted/emailed/retweeted/reposted to you!

(peep how I just flowed there)

But I digress,

But on a serious note, it's gotten to the point where women have come to me and begged me to write a blog on the fact that: at times, their man makes them feel like they're in a "same sex" relationship/marriage. The behavior a lot of you "so called men" display has gotten to a point where women are saying, "enough is enough already...MAN UP!" This goes for Blacks, Asians, Latinos, Middle Eastern, Whites, Jews, Christians, Catholics, Muslims, Atheist, fat, skinny, tall, short, old, young, middle aged, educated, stupid, from the dude with a career, to the dude who sells weed and works at Rite Aid: ALL OF YOU NEED TO STEP IT THE F*** UP! If it sounds like I'm being too critical, good. If it sounds like I'm judging, good, glad we're on the same page. A lot of you dudes don't know better, so you can't do better, because you haven't learned better, because no one has taken the time to properly SHOW you just what better IS! I don't speak for all men, let's get that clear. I'm not speaking up for all the women of the world, let's make that clear as well. This comes from a place of self realization and what I've realized as I've gotten older: I ain't shit and we NEED to do better...so peep the piece I'm presenting.
*class is in session*

I don't blog to bash, I blog to help and offer a different perspective from a man who has been thru some s*** in his life. What we as men need to know and thoroughly realize, is that as we get older, we need to DO better. The ways of when we we're younger, shouldn't be continued in our mid 20s and older. One of the things I love about my circle of male friends is that, we hold each other accountable for our words and actions. What that means is: if someone is f***in up in the group, you better believe it'll be brought to your attention. Nobody is going to make a subliminal diss song, no talking behind each other's back, no silent treatment, none of that; straight up and down man to man convo. In blackand white: if you have an issue, you bring it to THAT person; not his mama, sister, brother, uncle, GF (BF if he swings that way), aunt, grandmama, Twitter. Instagram, FB, his dentist, doctor...you get the point. Now that same mindset, this should be applied to friendships that transition into relationships and relationships that transition into marriages between male & females but...that'll be discussed in my book coming out next year.

Fellas...stop the gossiping, pillow talking, dry snitching, cockblockin, subliminal messages:

It's gotten to the point where men call other men up or text or whatever and have full blown discussions about what OTHER men are doing: WTF!? Unless you on some, "we bout to move out on these n****s," type sh*t, talking about another man should never and I mean never be discussed in such a hateful/disrespect manner (unless y'all got beef). Another bad habit some of you dudes got, is that you suffer from "faucet mouth":

"Nah, the f*** wit him, he no good for you! You still f***in with J from your job? You know he f***in Michelle right?"
or
"Yea, I know Robbie: he the dude who got the baby mother who live in New Jersey, that he f*** every other week when he not f***in you. He corny! How you drop outta school and start credit card scamming?! Oh...you ain't know that? Yea, he lame."

...once your mouth gets turned on, you keep goin and goin and goin and goin. That's dry snitchin and where I'm from, dry snitchin isn't something grown men take lightly. After sex, don't lay around and talk her head off about why she shouldn't give another dude a chance you don't even know ESPECIALLY when she put up with your wack sex ass; get some juice, stretch, and prepare for round 2! Also, stop with the cockblockin! If you can't get p**** in a Earth this big, you worthless kid, and you don't deserve to live (joking, but not really).

Fellas...know when to displace your feelings and emotions:

Instagram, Twitter, FB are NOT your damn diaries! Being too sensitive is a sign of weakness. I'm not saying you can't express how you feel, but there's a time and a place for all of that and on social networks...it's not the place nor the time (in my opinion). You think women are looking at what you post like, "awww, he's so sweet, bendito"? No! They're looking at you like, "if this dude don't man up with his b**** ass!" No woman wants to be with a man who is more feminine than she is, period point blank. You get on Instagram and post some sh*t about how "all women aint sh*t but hoes," nahhh cat daddy, all YOUR women ain't sh*t but hoes! What you don't see by doing that is- women who begin to come to the conclusion like, "damn, why he so sensitive? All because I didn't answer his comment back or give him my number?" That right there, is something that's discussed every & any where, with all her friends, and if you think she's not screenshottin ya sh*t and talking about it with her homegirls...hahaha, wooo!

Fellas...stop with hate:

Listen and listen good: there's a difference between being hated on and being disliked. Being hated on...well, if you're familiar with the movie Belly, the part where Nas & DMX are riding thru the neighborhood and ol' boy is eating a banana and says, "Might have to drop a dime on them n****s...I don't like that sh*t...I don't like that sh*t." THAT, that's hate! Being disliked is when I actually know yo monkey ass and you've done sh*t to make me wanna put you in a headlock and toss you head first in a kiddie pool filled with crabs and roaches. You will never see a dude who is educated, hate on another man, why? Because he's too focused on progressing. What you WILL see, is a dude who ain't about sh*t, because he ain't amount to shit, so, he's mad at the fact that you're successful. "He think he fly cause he got them Js on...everybody got them Js!" (but he don't got them) or "that n**** ain't ballin like Meek Mill or Fabolous tho...that's why he pushin that 03 Benz still!" (he taking the bus and train with me every damn day). How you mad at the next man for creating and taking opportunities to better himself tho? And speaking of bettering...

Fellas...stop with the "crab in the bucket" sh*t:

Now if you're unfamiliar with what that means, allow me to explain: if you put some crabs in a bucket, you never have to worry about any escaping because if one looks like he's going to climb out...the others will grab its leg and pull his lil ambitious ass back in! I personally hate the fact that as a man, another man can't be successful without another man trying to pull that man down in some form or fashion. This applies for any race, color, creed, and religion too. I'm not saying you have to be "happy go lucky" for the next man, but there's already added outside pressure on him from other races and women on TOP of the hate you dishin out!

"So if I hang with dudes who ain't about nothin, I ain't nothin too?" - student in the back, far left

In a sense, yes. If you surround yourself with individuals who aren't about progression, you will succumb to that, guaranteed! Dudes have this bad habit of hatin on their own friends instead of celebrating their success and get mad when that friend begins to move away from him. All hate is: someone who admires whatever is that you do (what you're about) and can't duplicate that for themselves. There's this song by Common - "Black, Maybe" listen to it.

Fellas...stop purposely fucking up in relationships:

I will admit: I am part to blame for why I am not in a relationship today. It takes a man to admit his wrong doings and own up to them and seek forgiveness...but straight up and down: you're a bitch if you sabotage your relationship and then put all the blame on your woman like you ain't have a hand in why ya'll ended. You can't expect her to stay faithful, if you're cheating. You can't expect her to stay quite, when all you do is yell. You can't expect her to stay, if you're verbally and/or physically abusive. I was raised without a mother, so at times, I say my pops do some wrong shit and guess what? I grew up to do the same sh*t! We learn from our father's actions and words or the lack thereof. We learn indirectly or directly on how a woman is suppose to be treated. Yes, a woman can raise a man but...it takes a man to show a boy HOW a man is suppose to conduct himself. If you as a man get into a relationship and you know you're gonna want more than one chick to sleep with, stay single. If you know you're not ready to commit, let her know that, don't string her along. The problem isn't that she's crazy (although some of y'all are)...it's us as men doing sh*t to drive her crazy and get mad when she flips the f*** out! All women aren't the same; Cynthia isn't a loud mouth and a bitter b**** like Brandy is and Brandy isn't insecure and heartless, like Cynthia. The more you hurt her, the more conditioned she becomes in believing that men ain't s*** and that Shakira looks more and more attractive each day. You might not wanna hear this fellas but: how you gon look your daughter in the eyes when lil Leo hurt her heart the same way you did her mother... something to consider. Relationships can not and will never be able to stand the test of times, if the foundation is built on lies. I know gettin sex is cool and all but at what point do we look in ourselves and say, "you know what, I think I wanna settle down with Brandy, and build with her!"?

Fellas...we need to do B-E-T-T-E-R!

Dr. MLK Jr. had a dream...y'all dumb-d***heads turned it into a damn nightmare! I'm saying this to challenge you to do better, hell, to want better! F***in them same girls/women/bitches who ain't about sh*t will grow tired and then what? "Ima go stay with moms and stack money?!" Nahhh, because moms enjoys walking around the house, ass naked, watching Golden Girls, while ya pops massages her down in lotion...or, my lil ass will be over there watching bootleg movies, eating up all the chips n' dip! The reality is that as we get older, women look to younger dudes who have promise and potential, not dudes around her age who still lookin to have sex with her and her best friend or who haven't figured out what it is that they want to make of themselves. I'm 26, and I've figured out that at the end of the day, when it's all said and done; ima want someone to watch Golden Girls with and eat apple pie. The problem with us men is that there isn't enough male accountability. Holding each other accountable for our actions, needs to happen more. I'm not saying tattle-tale on your homie, I'm saying bring the man to the side or have an intervention with him because what you don't want is

...your homie eating all your food, drinkin up all the juice, not flushing the toilet, leaving dishes in yo sink, asking you for money, while living on your couch.

Education is key fellas and not just book knowledge: knowledge of self. Be the kind of man that you would want your daughter to date and marry. Blame Kendrick Lamar for this! This was long overdue fellas and real sh*t, I'm here as a man telling...there's more to life than Jordans, side chicks, drugs, and all that crazy stuff. I still have ways to go but, at least I'm on the road...are you? Let's build our kingdoms and become KINGS...leave that peasant life alone.

@renaissance_brotha_

LionCheetah

I am a man that is flawed. I speak, from experience. Life, has taught me a great deal. I will never profess to be a man that knows all, just a man who has been thru a lot and has learned a lot more from life and its experiences. This blog is a reflection of growth and maturity as a MAN; not that of a man who "thinks he knows everything."

*class is in session*


There are many reasons as to why relationships end:

•cheating•lying•stability•trust

among other things. LionCheetah simply means: lying-cheater - two of the biggest reasons why WOMEN, decide to throw in the towel. The following explains other reasons why women leave men.

babe...babe...BABE!!!
What I've Learned...is that women CRAVE attention, especially from their man! They love it when you notice things that they've done, for example: change in hairstyle, eyebrows touched up, fresh mani/pedi, cleaning, the time & effort she took to cook something YOU like, when that's NOT her expertise, and so on and so forth. Many times we overlook these things, but the more YOU overlook them, the MORE she'll be looking to someone else who will notice. Sometimes, she just wants you to listen to her talk and maybe input here and there; communication is key! She notices the lack of communication, you better believe she'll communicate to someone who isn't so lackluster and actually gives a damn. If you don't want to continuously give her the wrong impression, you better give her that love & affection or live with the fact that another man will.

"I'm feeling really un-ap-preci-aaated"
What I've Learned...is that you should never and I mean NEVER take the one you love for granted nor should you make her feel unappreciated by YOUR actions and words! If you have a woman who is willing to do for you before she even considers herself; she's a keeper! I've said this in other blogs but I feel like this needs to be said on a continuing basis: it's the lil things that matter the most! What you don't see: is all the stuff she does for you while IN the relationship. What you do see (after the two of you are broken up): is all the stuff she DID for you, while IN the relationship. Don't wait till it's too late to recognize/realize what she does for you. What Drake say, "Better late than never, but never late is better,"...and I know how you dudes LOVE quoting rap lyrics; so take heed to that. Learn to love the one you're with or live to learn from the one you had.

"Why you gotta lie to me?":
What I've Learned...is that back in the day, Toni Braxton was right as a motherf**** ! Lying will get you nowhere fast but with a bottle of lotion, tissues for your "issues", and old scenes of porn stars f***ing the life outta each other for hours. Let me be the first to tell you: a relationship can't stand the test of time if the foundation is built on lies. If she can't trust your word as her man...what kinda man are you? Fellas: without trust, you don't have much of a relationship. When you think about why most friendships fall apart among men, you look at that fact that men value honesty MOST among each other. Now, when you think about relationships and why they fall apart between men and women: it's because someone isn't being honest (I won't gender specify). Honesty is the anchor in a relation-SHIP, and if we as men can't be TRUSTED to be HONEST with the woman in our lives...we shouldn't expect her to stick around.

"I should have cheeeeaaa-ted"
What I've Learned...is that Keyshia Cole had women wanting to cheat like a motherf****! Cheating tends to happen for many reasons and one of the main reasons WHY it happens...is because something isn't right (goes wrong) in the relationship. And what do we as men tend to do? Find something that IS right, in between the legs of the WRONG person! Once again: this is where communication comes into play and why it's soooo very important to communicate with your partner. When your woman finds out about your indiscretions, the bridge you've built to get to her, becomes damaged. That same bridge that was ever-so pretty to cross, is fragile to the touch. All the "sorrys" won't work and all the candy/flowers can't help. If you have a problem, LET IT BE KNOWN!

Emotional Rollercoaster:
What I've Learned...is that an emotional disconnect in the relationship happens more times than we even know it. We as men tend to deal with emotions different, from that of a woman:

•smoke/drink
•play video games•hit the strip club•drive around and listen to music•punch a wall•hit the gym

We are taught as men that we shouldn't cry when something is the matter; women are taught differently. I'm not saying you should cry when she doesn't want to give you the ass when you want it, I'm saying don't run ya silly ass out and cheat because she won't give you the ass! Support, support, SUPPORT! She needs to feel needed, loved, and have that emotional connection with you so that she can feel safe and secure and more importantly, comfortable enough to share. If you can't be the one she leans on...she (hand clap) will (hand clap) find (hand clap) companionship (hand clap) elsewhere, plain and simple.

"Sex ain't better than looveee..."
What I've Learned...is that love conquers a lot (not all, contrary to popular belief). Sex is cool, don't get me wrong, but it isn't everything. Sometimes, she doesn't want you to come over (vice versa) and have you hump away at her. Sometimes, she just wants to cuddle...and then maybe you hump away at her. Seriously, there's this word that many men are unfamiliar with and it's called *intimacy*. Sometimes, you'll have to make love to mind and not her body. Sometimes, you'll have to make her soul feel like everything before you never mattered because you're the only she wants NOW! Take it from me: the more she grows unsatisfied with your lack of intimacy, the less...well, you get the picture.

Gri-ming (grind + timing):What I've Learned...is that women love when you make time for them and respect you even more when you're on your grind (one who is driven; ambitious). We spend all this time trying to get her to see us for who we are and what we're about and after we get her...we tend to fall off. We put "hanging out with the boys," over "dinner for two" and that right there, is a no no. I'm not saying neglect your friends altogether, but know there's a time to chill with them and a time to chill with her and the prior should never come before the latter. Spending time is important because you continue to build upon the foundation you've created. What happens in relationships is that, we as men work our asses off to get the woman we want and then we slack. We don't maintain our appearance (women are guilty of this too), we don't go out as often (guilty myself), and we tend to allow her to pick up the slack (guilty myself). Now on the other hand, you know how sexy drive is to a woman! My friend once told me, "if I didn't have a BF, I would be with you because you're always pushing yourself to do better...unlike this lazy mother(SHUTYOMOUTH)!" One of the main reasons Michelle stayed with Barack was because she saw the potential in him. If we as men are ambitious about buying materialistic things, we should be even MORE driven to further our education and/or progress in our career goals. She'll love you for your ambition...or leave you for you lack of.

You ain't s*** with me and you ain't gon be s*** without me:What I've Learned...is that verbal and physical abuse is never the answer. I've never put my hands on a woman but verbally...I've been a monster!!! It's not something I'm proud of but when you're angry, those very words that you suppress, become your weapons of mass destruction! Any man that puts his hands on a woman, is a coward. Any man that talks, before he thinks, is a man who hasn't learned that the tongue is as mighty as a sword. No woman should put up with any kinda abuse, period but know this ladies: what you will allow, will continue.

Communication is key! I will continue to say that in every relationship piece I post because it is valuable and critical! If you as a woman are stuck between a rock and a hard place; talk things out. If he's not with the talking, the relationship isn't for you. The point I'm trying to make is that you should do everything on YOUR end to make sure the relationship is working and if that isn't happening, after some time...maybe with him, is not where you want to be. If he ain't gon love you, the way he should, let him gooooo.

@renaissance_brotha_

So I Have This Friend: Whose GF Can't Ride...

Names have been changed, but the story remains the same.

Nick: "But deadass Ant...this b**** can't ride d*** for the life of her!!!"
Me: "Bro...tell her how you want it to be done!"Nick: "If only it were that EASY bro, it's not. We went for a bike ride the other day and this b**** was like Meek Mill & his boys on a damn CitiBike...a CITIBIKE!"Me: "Wait, you went, YA'LL went for a bike ride? (insert hard laughing)"Nick: "You mad cause you ain't got no b**** to ride WITH! But deadass boy, she can't ride d***, what should I do?? I know you be writing blogs for these b****es, write one for me fam!"

So I Have This Friend...whose girl can't ride d***!

First and foremost...

DID YOU MISS MEEE!?!?

No? Oh...ok, I digress, but before I start:

Warning: If you are a friend and/or a family member and you MIGHT feel a tad bit uncomfortable with reading/hearing me talking about sex; this blog ain't fo yo ass.

#TURNUP

A lot of you women are out here throwing dirt on guys who can't seem to get it together in the bedroom and for that...may the Lord take vengeance upon thee! Are (some) men garbage in bed? Yes, yes SOME are, but there's a whole lot of them who are NOT (and this blog ain't for them). My boy isn't the only man to feel this way, hell, I've had a few ladies who couldn't ride a d*** but could "drop down and get their eagle on" and hit the electric slide at the drop of a dime! Some of you chicks be like, "Babe, I can't ride, can we just do doggy?" No, not now. Or, "Babe, I've never really...I mean, I don't normally do this (while climbing on top)," well, I've never been to Six Flags, but you gon ride this roller coaster! I know you're laughing while reading this, but how some of y'all claiming to be #BedroomBullies...and can't ride a d***?! That s*** puzzles me! So, here at #ABetterBreedOfMan, I wanna help you ladies get in touch with your...inner, freak if you will. I present to you: how to ride the D SO good, yo mama's mama...would be proud!

Yo Nick, you owe me bro because I'm sure your girl will be reading this!

*class is in session*

Some of you beautiful, intelligent, sexy women are reading this and can identify with the topic: you can't ride d*** well! And that's cool, dot worry boo, I got yoouuu! If you have a man, don't be afraid to practice on him, that's what he's there for; what is he gonna say, no? No man will turn down p****! "I ain't afraid of no man or no d***!" yea yea, I know: that's why you can't ride d***? What's that old saying, "practice makes perfect"? Well, you better lay his ass down, and climb on top, and ride him like a Low-Ridah out in Cali! Something to always keep in mind (and this is with anything): you can’t get better at something if you’re scared to fail. When you tell someone you haven’t done something before, that statement should then be accompanied by you trying. You don’t say you haven’t done something and continue not to do it; without trying you’ll never learn. I'm not suggesting ANY one of you ladies go out here, and have sex with just ol' any guy, just so you can practice...that sh*t ain't cool nor is it attractive. Now Nick, if Amanda comes to you and says, "let's f***! I know you like me being on top so I want to trying something new", strip down to your socks and enjoy the ride my brotha!

Secondly ladies

In order to feel comfortable pleasing your man, you have to be able to please yourself first and him, SECOND! It's just like in life: in order to be selfless, you have to be a lil selfish; so selfishly pleasure yourself with toys me or fingers all you want! There's not a dude out here that won't appreciate you jumping on top and riding him like that mechanical bull at your local bar. If you want to get your nut off and not worry about Minute-Man Mark, go for it. Ladies, in plain English: I want you to do all the nasty sh*t you do in your alone time, when no one is watching, to your man! Make it so nasty, you'll have to pray EXTRA, in church on Sunday (y'all don't hear me tho)! It's not the Mark and Laura show, oh no, it's the Laura Show, co-starring Mark...and his d***. However once you get to that point, learn what pleases him. Who knows you might actually like what he likes and can start killing two birds(freaks) with one stone(move). Dudes like Nick, complain about women that get on top only to please themselves and that’s just selfish; if you want to be a skilled rider you have to learn how to do both. Don't trip tho, I got some techniques that'll have you riding like Ciara (pun all the way intended).

baby grind on meeee! (Pretty Ricky voice)

Remember them guys? Well, if you don't, YouTube them but if you do, ladies: I want you to grind like you're at a high school party! There's not a woman reading this who doesn't enjoy grinding her warm, wet, tight, (meow), and rubbing her clit at the same time until they achieve orgasm. Work them hips, lose some of those calories, and dig your fingers into his chest...not too rough tho! Most guys aren't cumming from grinding, but from friction, there's a difference. Men need to be stroked to achieve orgasm, which grinding can limit.

b-b-b-bounce that p**** and shake dat ass

You know what turns a man on with the quickness, other than you dropping to your knees and putting his d*** in your mouth: watching and feeling you bounce on top of him. The woman who can push a man on his back, climb on top, and f*** him till he has no more energy in his tank...is a keeper! Women that bounce on the d*** usually know exactly what they’re doing and they ride with purpose. You're not worried about the fact that you just got your hair done, noooo. You're not worried about the fact that, you have work in a couple hours, noooo. You're worried about pleasing yourself, because he will be led to believe, you're really doing it for him; which sometimes is never the case (I be knowin ladies). That bounce action is cool for the dudes who enjoy having the breast in their face (like me) or who enjoy watching the ass go up...and down...and up...and down in the Reverse Cowgirl position AND who enjoy smackin that ass while you're at it (I be knowin ladies).

...you got the juice now (insert your name here ladies

I know what you're thinking: what the hell is this fool talking about now! Well, it doesn't mean "juicing" like combining fruits and veggies and sh*t; it simply means to pull and squeeze at the same damn time! Some of y'all (women) don’t know about juicing, but just think about grinding for a second. Grinding is the rubbing of two surfaces to cause friction. However, juicing is when you squeeze AND pull away from him to cause the friction. It’s basically like you’re trying to squeeze and ring him out (kinda like a wash cloth). I want you to squeeze his d*** with your vagina and just look him in the face while you're doing it; I guarantee you he will speed up his pumping, which will make him cum like that! The best position to do this in, is in Reverse Cowgirl...

and speaking OF Reverse Cowgril...

Men like when you ride it...facing the other way! When you climb on top, ride it for a lil bit facing him and then, turn around and: MAKE SURE YOU KEEP THE D*** INSIDE OF YOU (I can't stress that enough)! Place his hands around your waist, and continue with what you were doing. You can lick your nipples if you want, massage your clit while he slaps your ass, hell, you can even fantasize about someone else. It’s just better suited for two people to please one another, yet have the privacy they want while having sex as weird as that may sound.

One time, a friend of mine said, "when I get on top, he does whatever we wants, it's like, I don't have no control of the situation." My answer to that: f*ck him back. Put his hands inside of yours, pin them down, and f*** him until he cums, that simple. A lot of women are quick to say men are intimidated by them but become intimidated by men, in the bedroom: the irony. Here's something you can try: to make you feel a lil more at ease, make him put his hands behind his head, tell him to keep put, and go to work...men like taking orders n' s***.

Lastly,

I spoke about this in the paragraph before last but once again (because it's really that important): don't let the d*** slip out! Now before you start going off and dismiss miss this piece of info, consider this:

size matters! I don't care what any one of you have to say, size matters. Now, with that being said (Kevin Hart voice), it's up you take a peek at the pole he's packing and make sure it doesn't come out! If you have control and I mean COMPLETE control over your body/abilities...the d*** can never and I mean never come out, period-point-blank.

Nick, make her feel comfortable at all times; sex isn't just about catching a nut or two and rolling over and knocking out, it's way deeper than that, it's brackets to this s***. There's levels to this sh*t, and while that may be a line from Meek Mill, it's true in every sense! If you want to give some advice, simply just express how you feel when the two of you are most comfortable and laugh n' sh*t like that, this way, it comes across a lot better.


If you need anything else, holla at me!

Ladies: have you ever felt embarrassed when you got on top? Did you get better? What advice could you offer other women about riding better? Did this post miss anything?

@renaissance_brotha_

He's Not That Into You, Respect The Curve

Me: So, when we chillen again?
Her: I gotta get back to you. I got a busy work week coming up and I don't wanna plan something and something come up, you know.
Me: But isn't your schedule set?
Her: Yea, and?
Me: And, if your schedule is set, and you know what time you get off everyday, how could something that WE plan, together, get rescheduled?
Her: I mean, I'm just keeping my options open. I loved our first date and I would like to see you but I...
Me: But you're swerving me? Be honest.
Her: Those are your words, not mine. I would like to see you again...I just don't know when Sha...
Me: Don't even have to finish that...I'll be in touch.

Was I upset or anything like that? No. I wholeheartedly respect anybody that can keep it 100% with me at ALL TIMES! In this particular case, I saw it coming and once I began to hear another man's name come out, I knew what it was.I was being swerved. I've been swerved more than the Yankees has championships! I can handle rejectionI've learned to handle rejection as I got older and what rejection does is this:

1) keep you down and discourage you from trying again or
2) it can make you look at what might have went wrong, work on that, and approach the next situation, differently.

Now on the flip side...I've swerved more women than the Knicks have championships (they have 2, I've swerved 4 to be exact). Sometimes, women miss the signs that are in front of them because often times, those signs aren't so clear. Other times, they're clearer than a MOTHERF****!!! This piece doesn't come from a place of malice or hurt or any of that (no-no). I'm not using this platform of mine to talk down on the opposite sex or belittle them any (no-no). I'm using this platform of mine to help the women of the world (ok, the ones who frequent my blog) to get a better understanding of what it means when a guy is JUST not that into them as they are lead to believe.

*class is in session*

I know what you're thinking, "what in the HELL does swerve mean?" Well, according to urbandictionary.com, "swerve" is often used to imply dodging someone.

Example:
Brandon: Yo, y'all wait for me! I wanna go to lunch with y'all.
Maria: You really gon wait for him?
Jon Jon: Nah, I'm bout to swerve him and tell him we bout to go Subway!

I digress...

No female wants to be swerved! Y'all will do everything in yall powers to swerve a dude before he swerves you, why? Because (some) women don't know HOW to deal with rejection in a rational manner and will allow it to harbor for a long period of time and so on and so forth. On the other hand...a lot of y'all aren't reading the warning signs placed in front of you! There's this thing called...*thinking to self*...oh, I got it...it's called A HINT! Remember when you were younger and you would play a game and somebody didn't wanna give you a DIRECT response/answer and they would give you a hint? Well, men do the same thing, but we do it in different ways and the following will help you to be able to better identify...

If hints were horse sh*t, you'd be Miley Cirus twerkin all in it! Sure, certain signs aren't that easy to recognize like a guy not calling and texting you if he’s not interested, because men who do that will still entertain you in different ways. "Yo, you really need to stop hittin me up, I'm not feeling you like that," usually gets translated into some sorta bs mixed signal. Sure, he might be thinkin, "damn, you're personality is boring as sh*t but you got some good ass p****...I'll hit you when I need some of those back shots," but what gets said is..."oh yea, oh yea, I enjoyed it too...I can't wait to see you again babe (insert smiley emoji)." Most dudes are gonna curtail what they REALLY wanna say because honestly, things flow better that way, so, he'll keep texting and what not, even tho he's not that interested. Dudes will fake interest in an effort to spare feelings. It’s ironic, by refusing to be rude and leading women on, we create this fake reality which not only wastes her time, but ends up scarring her worse than that initial rejection would have. You think Mike is being nice when he tells you he's busy Monday-Friday to grab something to eat but FINDS time to talk and text with you a majority of the day...hmmm, something smells fishy. You think he doesn't want to get into a relationship with you because he told you over and over...and over, how his last GF did him wrong but he finds time to get into your panties and doesn't look to be in a relationship with you anytime soon...hmmm, something smells fishy. He can tell you the grass is blue and the sky is green and explain the SH*T outta why it is but because you're so caught up, you can't see what dude is doing! Dude ain't busy, he's not incomplete like Sisqo was, you're not his type, and he's not into you like that. He's still a boy, dressed up like a man...give that man an Emmy!

That man performs like Denzel and TALKS pretty damn smooth...but the two of y'all never talk about sh*t! While looks may draw you to each other, one conversation can be the difference between turning someone on and turning someone off. There are girls who assume that because a guy asked for her phone number that he’s interested, that’s half true. He was interested initially, but that doesn't mean you are going to automatically keep his attention. You could be great the first few weeks and then, you fall flat. You know what it's like meeting a new chick? Like Tyrone Biggums taking a hit of CRACK! We as men act like Rick Ross at an all you can eat buffet when we meet a new chick! If you're not doing your job and we've been on a few dates and things are just blah and we meet someone new...8/10 you're getting swerved hun. You think those basic ass convos y'all have mean something? Nah. Think about all of what yall talk about. Now I want you to think about how much of that is VALUABLE info....calculate that...*add the 1*...if you guys spend 1 1/2 hours or more on the phone and only 20-sumthin mins of it is useful info, that's something to think about. The contents of your conversation will reveal all if you’re willing to take your head out of your ass, stop smiling, and actually pay attention. When a dude is young, all he has is his convo, why? Because he's not allowed to do much BESIDES talk and get to know you & plus, it's bs convo. An older man ain't got time to be spending on the phone, talking about basic issues like y'all did in HS. There’s a difference between a man who asks how your day was and means it, and one who is just trying to get brownie points. If he really cares he will ask deeper questions: is your co-worker still getting on your nerves? How's so&so doing? Hell, if he kicks you off the phone because he knows you have school work to do, *ding ding ding*. A man who is interested will be invested. If you’re a grown woman and your “friend” only wants to talk about sending nudes, when you’re coming over, or always playing video games or watching t.v., not paying you no-neva-mind, then he’s not invested in your life, he’s invested in his life. Stop the HS sh*t and grow up.

"But the guy I'm with took me out already and we're friends on social networks!" - student sitting in the middle.

I'm glad you said that because that brings me to my next point: a date or two and following each other on social networks means sh*t these days! You think ima let you tag me in your pics when we go out on a date? Nah. B****, crop me out the photo and say you're out with "him"...b****es like "him. Now, just because we talk a lot via DM, FBM, etc means nothing! How the hell can I tell if you're being nice or sarcastic via a convo thru your inbox? I can't, unless you state it. Guys are a lot more thirsty, which is easy to pick up on but ladies, it's done differently. Just because he entertains you on these networks, doesn't necessarily mean he's feeling you. Honesty is brutal, but it’s also the most decent thing a person can practice. Dudes who are interested, will ask you for your number and continue it offline, and as the two of you have built up enough familiarity, he might even ask you on a date. Now I know a lot of you ladies will shake ya heads at this but if a guy likes you, he will try to have sex with you early. We might get rejected but a man likes a challenge.  This is done...well, I won't say why it's done. Guys who aren't really interested may still try to hit, but it’s a half-ass attempt because she’s not worthy of his "LeBron in the Playoffs type game." You got him to take you to the place that has great margaritas and mediocre steak, round of applause. But what did you learn on that date? I'll answer: sh*t. He wasn't that interested so he allowed you to pick the place and lies to you when he said, "oh yea, I had a good time, when ima see you again?" Probably never because you ain't let him hit it, you ordered mad sh*t and only ate a quarter of it, talked about how North West is a dumb name for a child, how your professor is always late, and...you ended the date with a messily ass church hug, you're lucky if you get a text! It's not all about sex, but, if you're not f***king by date two, considered yourself canceled.

If a man likes you, he will do any and every thing it is in his powers to see you, point blank. If he rearranges his schedule just to fit you in, that's a clear sign he wants to see you especially if he plans the damn date. If he gives you some sh*t like, "I can't do it, I tol my cousin I'd wait on line with him for them new Js," or some s*** like, "I don't wanna stay out too late because I have work at 1...pm," clearly that's a sign he's not into you. No man makes excuses not to see a woman he likes, but he will create a laundry list to avoid the women he doesn't like. Open your f***ing eyes, if he was down for you, he would be around you. Where’s that "him" you’re refusing to talk to other guys for? Where’s that "him" you've been making subtweets/post about? Where’s the "him" that you’re thinking about right now? He’s where he wants to be, and clearly that isn't with you. Talk is cheap...and so is the leather quality on the Jordans he wears while he's out with the chick he's REALLY interested in! If you think you're too "all that" to not get curved...consider the last guy you've talked to and it didn't go accordingly...I'll wait...

Stop ignoring the signs and making excuses! If a guy is not that into, he's simply not that into you. Fellas, stop leading this women on as well. Not only are you f***ing yourselves up but you're damaging her as well! Insecurities don't just come from family, friends, and life experiences, they come from the relationships they have with men! At the end of the day tho, ladies

...you gotta respect the curve.

@renaissance_brotha_

The Stevie J. Theory

If you are unfamiliar with the show, Love & Hip Hop ATL, please take a lil time to look up the show and come back.

One of the more popular characters off the show is a lovable, funny, music producer known in the Hip Hop world by the name of Stevie J. Besides being so charming; he's an all around manipulative d***! His intentions might be good some of the time, but every other time...he's a d***! I like him tho because he's real and upfront about a lot of his actions. So for today's class, we'll focus on men LIKE Stevie J and the women, who tend to fall for them. If you're familiar with who he is, great! If you're not, Google him before you read this and then come back...

And enjoy the mother****** show!

SHABBA!

*class is in session*

Love sucks! Ok, I don't mean that but THIS, I do mean: at some point in your life, you will find that one person to love you the way you want to be loved, forever and a day. Sappy, I know, but it's something I truly believe. Here's the kicker tho; although there are plenty fish in the sea, no matter how great of a catch you would like to think you are, there's always gonna be somebody who looks at you and says, "tuuh...I'm good!" and "toss you ass back in that water". You see, there's a big difference between a guy being your friend vs. him being the potential love of your life and many times women get that confused for whatever reason and all hell tends to break loose! We as men, aren't that complicated when deciding such tings! Let's look at it like this: you have your "lead actress" and then you have your "supporting actress." The "leading lady" is like your GF, plain and simple. Now on the OTHER hand, you have your "supporting actress," who is not QUITE like your GF but, is similar in some ways. These "supporting actresses" aren't side pieces, heauxs, or anything like that, oh no; these are girls guys meet and sometimes treat like our real GFs but we never give them the title. They’re simply practice, a warm up for the "lead actress" we're currently seducing or the lead actress that we know will come our way. When you think about this in terms of Love & Hip Hop ATL (and I hope you did your HW) you think about the "love triangle" that is Stevie J x Mimi x Joseline.

Mimi: is the on again/off again "leading lady" (baby mother of Stevie J's daughter) who gets put thru more sh*t than a hog in mud.Joseline: is the on again/off again "supporting actress" to Stevie J with hopes of becoming an international "supastar" who gets put thru more sh*t than a shovel in horse sh*t!Stevie J: ...is the mother****** man! Shaft, Dolomite, ain't got S*** on him! If you ain't "on the bus," (as he frequently puts it from time to time) you better catch up, or get left!

Now let's look at how all of that applies to you reading.

Nowadays, these "supporting actresses" think they are gaining points by meeting family and friends when in reality...none of that means sh*t! You think meeting my moms is gonna somehow make me wanna wife you up? No b****! You think because you and my brothers think LeBron is a piece a sh*t and y'all laugh at his receding hairline, that ima put a baby in you? No b****! You think because you and my lil sister follow each other on IG/Twitter and repost/retweet each others sh*t, that you've become closer to me? No b****! Oh, so you hyped at the fact that my uncle Vern said you look good and felt on your booty just a lil bit...that n**** was drunk and he do that to everybody! I brought one girl around my family and they loved the hell outta her! Hell, it got to a point where they asked about her more than they did about me and WE'RE RELATED! Ladies, don't confuse a nice gesture for an act of love unless otherwise stated, or you'll only end up feeling like s*** and looking stupid. A dude can bring you around his parents and say, "she might be the one," in front of you and yo ass will light up like the sky on the fourth of July and his ass won't mean it! I'm not saying this to crush hopes and dreams, I'm saying it from a realistic point of view. Men play this manipulative game and women follow right along with it, happier than a kid at a school pizza party. Once again, I'm not telling you this to crush your dreams and spirit, I'm telling you this so you can be aware of what COULD (be) happen(ing). Enjoy your time around his family. Laugh, joke, eat, but don't read too far into it. Just because you meet his family doesn't mean you’re close to joining his family. So don't hop on Twitter talking about, "babe got me around his family! His moms can cook her ass off...gotta love my mother-in-law!" And speaking of Twitter...

There's no need for me to put on any social network that we are BF & GF. "Put you're in a relationship with me on Facebook, so I know it's real!" Uhhh, no! "Post a pic & tag me in it, so they know it's real!" Uhhh, no! "Tweet that you love me babe, so they know it's real!" Uhhh, no! "Po...," you get the point I'm tryna make. You think I'm gonna be dumb enough to say we're in a relationship when we're only dating? Ha! If I take you on a date here and there every other week and don't mention anything about you being my GF, but you have concluded that after a few months of us just "dating"...then I'm in a relationship with my barber, hell, I'm in a relationship with the dude at the deli who sells me the scratch offs because we see each other just as much as I see yo ass. Men aren't stupid to state that you two are in a relationship, why? Because it lessens his "pool of pu***"! You think he's gonna dig himself a hole all because you want to make it "Instagram official"? Not gon happen, neva! If he hasn't given you the title in real life, why would he acknowledge your ass in the cyber one? Only dummies make their "supporting ladies" social network official knowing they’re going to be up at 2am liking pics of girls they really want to be with. #FactsOfLife

Now I know what you're thinking, "does it get any worse?" Yup, but not entirely too bad...keep reading.

(Some) women are quick to say, "I throw on that Freak-um dress and some heels and I will have him hooked!" Uhhh, no! You think just because you throw on some leggings, some Jordan's, and a cut up shirt I'm suppose to be impressed? Nope, try again! You think a maxi dress with a thong in between yo ass with some wedges and your make-up done nice, is gonna get my d*** hard? Nope! (ok, a tad). The point I'm tryna make is that, guys don't really care too much about how you dress ESPECIALLY if you look like every other chick...then you're a basic b****! And no (real) man wants a basic b****! Just like you don't like him sagging his pants like all those dudes that you see on the block, he doesn't want someone who looks like the girl he was dancing with at the club last night or the annoying chick from work who's always fashionably late. Sure, we like a lil cleavage, a lil make-up done nicely, a nice ass in some jeans or whatever, but there's no need to come out the house looking like you're about to audition for the next Rick Ross, Lil' Wayne music video because you think that's what all men like! Noooo! It's nice, but it shouldn't be the norm. Getting us to break our neck to look at you is easy; getting us to want to be with your ass is the hard part. You know why Stevie J keeps Joseline around (other than the sex is crazy, I imagine)? Because she has sex appeal. You know WHY he goes back to Mimi time and time again, other than the fact that she's his baby mama? Because SHE has class. A woman who knows how to carry herself will always beat out a woman who only looks to carry herself for attention purposes. It’s not all about image, it’s mostly personality. Let’s be honest, a lot of women are annoying. Men are afraid to say that, but a lot of you gorgeous women annoy the hell out of us. It’s not about being ratchet or giving attitude, that’s easy to handle. Talking too much, being flighty, being too needy, not communicating– that sh*t will get you left alone with the quickness  A woman with some swag and confidence out beats the woman with just swag, 9/10 and those are the ones that get that title regardless of how long you've been in the "supporting role" position.

"So how do you feel when a girl says, 'good p*** make a n**** listen!'?" - female student in front, far right.

...yea, listen to sound of his d*** going in and outta your vagina!

"But what if he stayed around for months before they even had sex, and its not about sex...its about love."? - male student in the back, far right.

She's the "supporting role," not Kat Stacks. Listen, he's doing this so he can be ready for when "the one" comes along into the picture. Men know that the lead actress is going be tough as nails to have sex with, so there's no need to focus on the sex right out the gate. He's not coming over to seduce you midway into that Netflix movie so he can slam dunk the d*** in you; he's coming over to talk, chill, and better get to know you. Women can be used for more things than their vagina. Just because he’s not trying to throw the pipe in every time he sees you doesn't mean he’s not using you...manipulation is a b**** huh? Don't worry, we're almost done.

You know how much it hurts Stevie J and guys like him to not be able to be with someone they love dearly, especially the mother of the child? Dudes are sensitive, contrary to popular belief. A lot of you reading this are probably thinking its bs but it's the truth, we get hurt, we push people away, we put up walls, and communicate from behind that wall hoping you understand. Girls don’t seem to understand when a man is in a fragile state because we try and hide it. We’ll still go out, laugh, joke, and watch sports like we’re normal. But internally we’re still thinking about how ohwhatshername told us "I don't love you anymore," and is f***in some other dude, in another state. That's a pain that's very real for men...and was once real for me not too long ago. You think his homeboy is gonna allow him to cry on his shoulder? Nope! He's gonna say, "it's ok man...Tisha & Kia wanna meet up tonight, try and f*** Kia." We f*** Kia and she now becomes the "supporting actress" because our hearts won't allow us to give her such a BIG role in our lives. Somewhere down the line we'll heal, but for now, it's all about getting over that old one, and getting under a new one. No matter how much she held you down, the chances of her becoming your main...slim to none, ironic, I know.

Ladies, ladies, LADIES...don't (hand clap) play (hand clap) a (hand clap) role (hand clap) that (hand clap) you (hand clap) know (hand clap) you're (hand clap) not (hand clap) in a position to play (hand clap, hand clap)

Many of you watch Love & Hip Hop and say, "oh that could never be me, I could never be Mimi or Joseline," and end up in situations just like them. You think just because your vagina is good, it'll keep him at home? Nope! You think because you can cook, it'll keep him under you? Nope! If I'm your man and I want you to be my GF, I'm gonna give you every damn indication that you're my woman, period, point, blank! We can go out on dates, have sex, talk about a future, meet each others families...I can dress up in leather pants, some Gucci shades, a Gucci polo, and a Rolex, but that don't make me Kevin damn Hart now does it? Y'all let the lil things get to you and make it to where, in YOUR head, you're a couple but in reality, that isn't the case. You're a ladder, that leading lady is at the top, get it? Got it? Good. Y'all stay in these position, praying for brighter days and then outta nowhere, get blindsided. Don't be a Mimi, don't be a Joseline, be you! Never allow a man to dictate your worth FOR YOU, only you should be doing that. F***in around w/ dudes like Stevie J...and you'll forever be on that bus...but what do I know, right?

Feedback and questions and concerns and suggestions are always welcomed btw!

@renaissance_brotha_

LeBron Has Rings...Do You?

*disclaimer*
If you are easily offended...this blog is not for you.

Me: How long have y'all been going out again, 5 years?
Friend: Aww, you remembered Ant!
Me: I did! Has he mentioned or even hinted at a ring appearing anytime soon?
Friend: Nooo! We've been off and on so much, I don't know if that's a possibility but I...
Me: ...love him!
Friend: Why you say it like that? I mean, I see him proposing to me, I mean, why wouldn't he? We've been together for so long!
Me: I guess but...I don't know ma'am.

Many women are currently in relationships and those, "...do you see us spending our life together?" talks and that's good...if you and him are on the same page. Let me be honest here for a second: a lot of you beautiful, ambitious, hard working, educated, sexy women deserve the world and everything in it but, don't deserve a ring. Now some of you will get that ring, while others, just won't and you (meaning the woman) will be to blame. Don't get me wrong, I love marriage and all that comes with it but nowadays with relationships being complicated as much as they are, I can only imagine what marriage is gonna look like. It takes a special kinda woman to hear her guy say, "will you marry me?" and then stick around thereafter, which is why I believe...marriage isn't for everyone. Some of our parents marriages didn't work and hell, some of you reading this may have journeyed down that road and it didn't work but that should never turn you off to the idea. With that being said...

*class is in session*

Society has helped f*** up everything that was once considered good to us. Going to the strip club, sodas, Big Gulps, eating white bread, fried foods, McDonalds, and more importantly, relationships. Relationships have sustained a lot of problems because of society and individuals in society. You know what else plays a part in this as well? Social networks! Yup, I said it, social networks! Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, MySpace (yup, you read right), and hell, even Aim! Then you look at celebs and their relationships/weddings being televised that don't last that long, and although they're just like you and me, it makes me wonder: are marriages made to last? I'll answer that question later but too many times I've seen women drag men thru the dirt and back and turn down good guys left and right. I love you ladies, really I do, but too many of you are running your mouths (which run men away) and catch attitudes instead of talking things over (which run men away) and expect to hear those 4 words: will you marry me? Haaaaa!

While its true that a women's brain matures faster, when it comes to handling certain personal issues...(some) women can't seem to get it right. So, today I bring to you: reasons why you WON'T get a ring but you'll get a bacon, egg, & cheese, a threesome, and your master's degree before you get a man to propose...

BREATHE (1 and to the 2, 2 and to the 3):
I, as a man, am not a fan of being smothered by my significant other and I'm sure other men would concur. Actually, I don't think ANYBODY else does for that matter! Now we all know communication is key, but when you do it too much ladies, it becomes a problem. Constant questions, about the same sh*t just worded differently is annoying.

"Hey babe, what you doin?"
10 mins later
"Still watchin tv babe?"
10 mins later
"Babe, this is why I can't watch the news because they always got some bad s*** on...wyd??"

That's that sh*t I don't like!

When you do too much, that's when we begin to move away and I mean farrr away! Guys need room to breathe because being too over bearing isn't welcomed in a relationship. It's kinda like being micromanaged at work, ain't nobody got time for that. For example: if he doesn't respond ASAP to your text, don't throw up a post taking indirectly about him, that's petty. If he wants time to himself, let him be. If he wants to go out with the homies, let him be. Just because you're in a relationship, doesn't mean you need to spend every single minute WITH that person...everyone needs their space.

"Cause tonight ba-by, I wanna get FREAKY with youuuu!":
Men like women who can be a lady in the streets but a freak in the bed! That whole, "9-5" and then come home and cook up a meal and then be able to show him "what that mouth do" routine...quite sexy. There (hand clap) is (hand clap) nothing (hand clap) wrong (hand clap) with (hand clap) getting (hand clap) freaky (hand clap) for (hand clap) your (hand clap) man! I'm not saying you have to put on a production every night but at least have an open mind and be a lil adventurous...in the bedroom, at the movies, at your friend's wedding reception, on the F train coming back from Coney Island, you know, places like that. Giving him missionary sex and then "spicing" it up by letting him do doggy, aint gon keep him. Lap dances, strip teases, hell, send him random twerk videos but make sure you're doing whatever it is you have to do to keep the relationship afloat! And know this: whatever you WON'T do, another female (and her friend) will...seriously.

T-R-U-S-T:
Trust is needed in every aspect of our lives, especially in relationships. Without trust, you virtually have nothing. Now, let me make this CRYSTAL clear

Until you've got a good enough reason and when I say good enough reason, I mean, a female sending you a video of YOUR man deep sea diving in her sea of love, you have no reason to NOT trust him! Now I know (some of) you have trust issues because of past relationships, I know that and I'm sorry to hear that but you have no reason to NOT trust when he hasn't given you a reason to not be trusted. If you know you have problems trusting, don't get into a relationship because it will ultimately screw it up in the long run. It's one thing if your man is d***in down Tanya, Sarah, Marie, and loud mouth Gwen from your job and you have probable cause but if he's faithful, let him be. The more you come to him with false allegations about "what you found (didn't find)" in his phone, the more you push him away, and I mean farrrr away!

...and speaking of phone

"So, ummm, who's this b****!?":
Ladies, I can't stress this enough: leave the damn phone a-loneee!

What happens if he lets you check it tho? - student in the back

If he lets you check it, fine.

But what happens if he lets you check it AND you find something? - same student.

The better question is, are you LOOKING for something to find? Because if you are, then shame on you. If you happen to find something and you wholeheartedly feel it is not right and needs to be questioned, go for it. But the problem is that, when he DOESN'T allow you to go thru his phone and you do so anyways because you got a "hunch"...h-h-h-hunch yo ass over that stove and make a meatloaf with you nosey ass! Didn't you graduate with a Masters in Education? So why are you snooping around sh*t like you auditioning for Law & Order? Don't try to hack his Twitter, don't go to old pics on Instagram and see if he's been conversing with any females (fellas, make sure you're deleting those convos), don't search thru his emails and go thru his trash to see if you can find a possible "lead", nor should you check his pockets...that went out in the 90s. In other words, relive your Carmen Sandiego childhood fantasies elsewhere, not in your relationship. I know (some of) you work but for the ones that don't, make sure your place is up to par.

Woman Up:
Just like you're quick to tell us to "man up," ladies: woman, the, F***, UP! It's more than putting on a pair of heels or making sure you're not over-doing it with your make-up or making sure your dress hugs your curves, it's more than that. Women are nurturing, kind, caring individuals first and foremost. If your man likes to eat, cook. If you can't cook, learn. Go to a bookstore and buy a cook book and read the directions, it's really that simple. I'm not talking that minute rice with the Tyson's frozen "ready to cook wings, just thaw out and cook in the oven for 40-45 mins" bs either. I'm talking, a REAL, meal! Also, keep things clean. If you don't work as much as your man, it's your job to keep things nice and neat. Sure, he can do the same too, but that's a whole different blog in itself. It's your job to do everything (not so much anything) that YOU can, to keep YOUR man happy. Not a n**** or a boy, but your man. And men...make sure you're meeting her half way too because what you won't do...I will! (just joking, but...not really)

Lastly,

Relationship Problems & Social Networks Don't Mix:
...just like two d***s and a horse (extreme, I know). But in all seriousness the two do not belong together whatsoever. The moment your bring your relationship problems to social media is the moment you allow others to voice their 2 cents into whatever is going on in YOUR relationship. Sure, talking to your friends and family sometimes works but do you think people on Twitter care about what's going on between you and your man? No. Instagram and Facebook aren't places to vent either. Why might you ask...because you're not in a relationship with then, you're in a relationship WITH HIM! The moment you take to throwing dirt on him via social networks, is the moment you've decided that the relationship needed non expert advice from motherf****s who are more than likely to hit you up saying, "hey girl! I hope you make it thru whatever you're going thru because you can do bad all by yaself girl!" or "hey, if you need to talk about anything, I'm here for you. I mean, if he's no good for you, maybe you need to be with me...jk jk...but hit me up tho." Keep all problems off of social networks, plain and simple.

Ladies, please don't take offense to what has been said, take heed. These are just some of the reasons why guys aren't dropping to one knee and asking for your hand in marriage quicker than a stripper for some dollars. In order to enter any relationship, you must first love yourself because when you don't, you don't allow yourself to be loved the way you want. Relationships are about compromise, amongst other things. Check your insecurties before you try to check his. Be truthful with yourself before you even begin to be truthful with him. Relationships are a two way street...don't drive him down a dead end.

Feedback is welcomed...all the time, anytime and if you need advise, hit my email up as well! I would love to chat.

@renaissance_brotha_

Petty Pedi Police

This blog is about the importance of getting a pedicure…for women. You may be thinking to yourself, “who the hell is he…the pedi police?” and the answer to that thought is, yes. Yes, I, AM! (Kevin Hart voice). Seriously tho, getting a pedi is serious business and if a guy says it’s not, he’s a liar and we all know how much you ladies de-SPISE lairs! All of what you’re about to read comes from a good place, a loving place, and is not intended to bash women or anybody else’s thoughts and/or opinion on the subject matter. Consider this a PSA and if you don’t know what that means


Pedi Service Announcement

*class is in session*

I rarely blame things on others, but this will solely be blamed on my ex…name isn’t important. I remember when we first started dating and I would always and I mean ALWAYS see her with her nails and toes done. It wasn't a big deal until one day, we were talking and I said, and I quote, “you always get ya damn feet down! NO ONE EVER SEE’S THEM BESIDES ME!” I SWEAR I got the only lecture about the importance of maintaining your feet and yada yada…worst 48 mins of my LIFE! Even though we're broken up, till this day a lot of what was said was true and it stuck with me, so to her...thank you. My opinion tho, getting a pedi is a…wait for it…A MUST! Just like you don’t want a dude with ashy hands rubbing on your skin or with his pants saggin, we as dudes don’t want no hammer-time feet with polish that looks like ya lil sista did it while you were sleep, point-blank-period! I digress...

The “Chippy D” Toe:
…and I’m not talkin about Laurence Fishburne’s daughter. I’m referring to the fact that a female will get her toes done and she might bump something and now the nails look all chipped and what not…not cool. There’s no reason why you should have a fresh pedi, but your nails are all chipped up like an old Nas grill (mouth) or like a now Fabolous grill. How do you solve this problem? Do something about it immediately! Don't wait till someone says something to you because then you'll just look stupid, that simple.Just like you get your eyebrows shaped up or whatever you call it, get them nails trimmed. There's never a need to come into the bed with nails that can slice and dice onions and trim the fat off chicken breast, #ThatsThatIshIDontLike.

The "Half Polished" Toe:
You ever seen the Incredible Hulk movie when somebody has pissed him off and the lovable Bruce Banner turns into the mean, green Hulk? Well, that’s EXACTLY how I feel, whenever I see toes half polished...but only in my head tho. You mean to tell me that you couldn't finish applying the bumble bee yellow to the remainder of you big toe? You mean to tell me you were in THAT much of a rush that you couldn't let them nails of yours dry and now it looks like a kindergartner was finger painting on them?! You mean to tell me, 2/5th’s of your foot is done, but you were too damn lazy to finish the REST but can update ya FB status, tweet, create, edit, and post a Vine video, and like pics AND post on Instagram?!?! Half polished feet + YOU = a half ass person! Yup, I said it.

The "Lil Sista Done" Toe:
Kris: “Oh, I let Bri Bri do my nails Ant, how they look tho?”
Me: "...turnt down, that’s how!!"

I understand you're tryna be nice and let your sister do your nails, but if she has your feet looking like Michael J. Fox tryna sign his signa...never mind, I won’t go there, just don’t let her do it. The moment you put on some gladiators sandals or any kinda open toed shoes with a maxi dress or some short-shorts and expect to NOT be the the object of ridicule, you (hand clap) have (hand clap) lost (hand clap) your (hand clap) mind (hand clap) boo boo. mistaken boo. Here's what you do: after she does them, give her a hug, wait for her to go to sleep, remove the polish, go to Bonita Nailz in the morning and have Daisy do them over. I, other men, Daisy, and even your lil sister will appreciate your toes. Hell, you can even say to her, "Bri Bri, look how good they came out! Girlll, ima let you do my nails all the time!"...a lil white lie, she aint even know it.
So what to take away from this?

Summer is a few days away, so, them lumpy, chipped nails, uneven toe nails, toe nails that are too long, is downright NASTY! N-A-S-T-Y, NASTY! Trust me when I tell you ladies, we as men pay attention and I don’t care HOW fly and pretty you are, we are paying attention to the lil things. If your J-Brand jeans fit nice and them sandals look cute but are occupied by some ugly ass toes, ima let you know the nicest way possible: take yo petty pedi ass to the nail salon and get them worked on. Truthfully, now that the warmer weather is here, I've been getting my pedi on. Why may you ask…because if I go to the beach or even a pool party, I wanna make sure not only my body looks good, but my feet look good as well. Also, how would I look if I didn't practice what I preach! Pedis cost about $15 or slight less or more (plus tip) depending where you go but if times are that hard, you can always do them yourself. Go to CVS, Walgreens, or Rite Aid and get cuticle remover for your weekly touch ups and nail polish and get to painting (I really blame this bit of info on my ex). A woman with a fresh pedicure, will get; shopping sprees, cooked dinner, and tickets to see the Mrs. Carter concert, sex, and more importantly head...women love head (insert wink)

...but not by me of course, but, other dudes who believe in that foolishness.

*class dismissed*

Ladies, I would like to hear from you (fellas as well): what's your position on seeing toes undone? Is getting a pedi important to you? How often do you recommend going?

P.S. my b-day was yesterday (yup, I'm a Gemini) so gifts are still welcomed: twerk videos, cardigans, home cooked meals, ummm, gift cards, twerk videos, and money. Be sure to contact me at brotharena...just joking. 

@Renaissance_Brotha_